Mask of Innocence

Disclaimers: Standard disclaimers apply. Hunter X Hunter is a manga made by the great Yoshihiro Togashi, my eternal mentor. No money is made in the creation of this fanfic.
Notes: Again, sorry for the late update. I think you people are tired of my excuses already, so now, I'll just settle for an apology. I'm so sorry, I hope everyone would understand that school is going on *sighs*. I really can't find the needed time for all my fanfics. But anyway, I'd like to thank Hozumi Goda-sama for being Leorio's voice actor (I'm VERY in love with Leorio now!!! *hearts popping out*), and I dedicate this chapter especially for him! *swoons* Shounen ai alert, I'm still not sure with Gon and Killua though. Maybe I should just leave them be...but I just might change my mind. Like I always do =P

Chapter 8 - Changes

The sun proudly smiled above the blue skies, with no clouds to limit its intensity. Its warmth spread across the vast gardens of the Zoldick mansion, in tune with the gentle breeze that would constantly blow through the magnificent vegetation, past his hair and clothes, tickling the skins of his cheeks and arms and legs.

It's already been a week since he and his friends had stayed with Killua in their home. Though there would be times when he would notice that something's bothering two of his friends, he's now happy to say that the problem, whatever it was, had somehow passed. During the first parts of their trip, he had noticed that those two were being too quiet. Not that silence wasn't Kurapika's style though. What bothered him with his older friend was that his movements, supposedly done with a certain kind of grace and confidence, became somehow fidgety, if not unguarded and clumsy. He would always look at Leorio in a way that he had never seen the golden haired boy look at the older man before, least to say looked at anybody at all.

As for Leorio, his silence had been unnerving. Even though he would still be himself at times and smile and joke around with them, he supposed that he just felt a certain kind of stirring inside the doctor. There was a kind of uneasiness that bothered the older man. And the very fact that he didn't seem to want to be near the one who was supposed to be his best friend at the moment was not at all helping.

Gon sighed, a small smile playing on his young lips. But everything's okay now. He didn't know what happened, but right after that day when Kurapika suddenly disappeared from his room, and right after they found out that Leorio's door had been locked the whole morning 'till the middle of the afternoon then, everything changed. Or as he might say, everything went back to normal. If possible, things had been better. Leorio and Kurapika were talking again, and if only he didn't doubt it, he could see a new emotion building behind the eyes of the two. A sense of completeness and satisfaction. Though why it had suddenly come about, he did not know for sure.

Leaning his chin on the hands that rested on the wooden window, he grinned, thoughts drifting to Killua. He wondered if anything of the sort would happen between them. As far as he could remember, he had never fought with the young boy, maybe a few insults here and there, but that's different. Killua once told him before that Kurapika was too serious for his and Leorio's own good. He couldn't exactly remember the words, but he supposed that that was how it had meant. He and Killua on the other hand, were open and at ease with each other.

That was why Gon loved Killua dearly. Though many people would say that he loved practically everybody, which was true, he could safely say that Killua was special to him. He always had friends, but his attachment to Killua was different from the friendships he's had before. Which was why, at times, it would always scare him to even think about the possibility that he and Killua would be parting someday. He knew that Killua has a future in his family, and that the boy was obliged to be what his family asks him to be. But never did Gon really accept the notion that he might just lose Killua because of that.

The smile that played on the young boy's lips drifted elsewhere, a frown marring his child's face. He hesitantly glanced over the heavy doors just a few feet beside him that served as a barrier between him and his friend. He was waiting for Killua actually. His light-haired best friend had been called by his father, saying that they have to talk about something. Gon had decided to wait outside the room. But he can't help but wonder what they were talking about.

As if on cue, the knob from inside the heavy doors sounded. One door then opened, revealing a familiar frame. Gon smiled again, his previous thoughts forgotten momentarily as he approached Killua. "What took you so long?" came his bright question.

But without word nor warning, a light body launched itself at him, trapping him in a tight hold. Brown eyes widened at the sudden action, his only reflex was to lift his arms to rest them on the small body that was strongly pressed up on his, a worried expression crossing him. Uneasily, he finally voiced out, "Killua?"

Killua didn't move, but Gon could feel the other boy's face on his neck, his breath sweeping through his skin as he replied. "Gon?" was his first call. Was it just him, or did that voice just tremble? "No matter what happens, I'll still be your friend, right?"

Gon blinked. Huh?

Confused, the dark-haired boy pulled away, holding Killua's wrists as he guided them away from his shoulders. "What are you talking about?" he asked, not able to hide his worry.

Killua merely shook his head. "You'll still be my best friend, right?" came the insistent question, wide, cat-like eyes meeting his in an almost desperate gaze. "Even if I'm far away, even if we're not together, nothing will change, right? We'll still be friends?"

Gon blinked again. "Far away? Not together? Killua, what are you talking about?"

"Answer me!"

Tears. Killua...tears were threatening to fall from his eyes.

Gon was in near panic. He didn't know what to do. What was wrong? Why was Killua acting like this? He had always remembered Killua as someone who's always happy and filled with life. Never had he seen his friend like this, desperate and miserable, as if the whole world was just about to crash down on him. "O-of course, Killua," he finally said, hoping that it could ease his friend somewhat.

"Always?" asked the other boy, pressing the matter.

Gon need not think about his reply. Without missing a beat, he nodded.

Killua, again, had him in a fierce hold not a split second after he had nodded. But before the boy had done so, Gon could've sworn he saw relief flood through Killua's face. He could feel Killua smiling behind him, and he could feel those arms tightening around him, as if he would go away if the hold wouldn't be strong enough.

Slowly, if not warily, his own arms snaked around Killua to return the hug loosely. No more smiles, and he closed his eyes, feeling the silent beat of Killua's heart over his. Something wasn't right, he could feel it. He could feel it in Killua's shaking form, he could feel it from the memory of his voice just a few minutes ago.

Turning his head to look at Killua, though failing, he knotted his dark brows in a more concerned expression. But heedless of what he felt, all he could think about now was that he must comfort Killua. The boy didn't seem to be planning to talk, so Gon had kept the silence between them if that was what Killua wanted. Pushing back his questions for later, he sighed, leaned his head on his friend's shoulder, and prayed that it was enough to calm Killua's maddened heart.

* * * * *

The soft clink of glass against marble sounded through with the light winds that circled about him. The sweet taste of the beautifully red liquid soothed his thirst. He had finished the whole glass in one gulp, and now he was pouring himself yet another serving.

But his companion didn't seem to share his fondness for the drink. The younger boy's glass remained untouched, the small signs of dew touching the smooth outside surfaces. Fogged blue eyes just stared at it, the expression unreadable. But nevertheless, the pale boy sat there as if the innocent juice would swallow him alive, as if he wouldn't dare touch it at all.

Setting down the pitcher beside his own glass, the sweetness forgotten, Leorio spoke. "Kurapika?" he called the boy across from him, gazing down at him through slightly covered eyes. "Anything wrong?"

But the boy remained still, his disturbing staring game with his glass still ensuing. Even the small treats on his small platter remained untouched.

Leorio frowned. "Kurapika," he called again. Not receiving the recognition that he wanted, he sighed and stood up. Leaning on the table for support, he waved a shaking hand in front of the other boy's eyes, meaning to wake him up from his daze. And finally, after a few seconds of waving and snapping his fingers, Kurapika's eyes widened, shifting his clouded vision to the worried man in front of him.

"L-Leorio," he muttered out, coming back to the real world finally.

The frown that marred the doctor's face didn't leave him. "What's wrong?" he asked, repeating his last question.

But only broken thoughts circled around Kurapika's head.

Eyes. Death. Pains. Blood. Vengeance.

Kurapika bent his head down, not looking at the other's eyes. But he could still feel the other's gaze, studying him, persisting, his question left hanging, unanswered. He had promised himself that he would be more open to Leorio, that he owed them both that much after all that has happened. But still, there were times that he would feel that the very act of opening himself up was too difficult, considering that he wasn't much of the kind who'd open up so easily.

But that was when he realized that he wasn't the only one that was like that. Frowning, he stole a glance of Leorio across from him. Like himself, the doctor hasn't opened up much himself, has he? They both know Gon and Killua, but not themselves. Ironic.

Leorio noticed that the expression on Kurapika's face has changed. He blinked. He was about to ask again if something was bothering the younger boy, but he beat him to it.

"Leorio--"

"Master Leorio? Master Kurapika?"

Both frames stiffened at the sound of the third voice. Brown and blue eyes alike turned to the direction from which the voice had come from, the words and questions left hanging around them. The thickness of the tension around them wasn't helped by the presence of the well-suited servant, looking at them with the cold, passive expression most of the people in the mansion wore.

"Master Sillva would like to have a word with you," he told them, eyeing them blankly.

The only movement between the other two though was a slight shifting of the head, one looking at the other. For a few moments they remained as that. Neither of them knew if they should say anything, or stand up and follow the older man.

It was Kurapika who broke away. The young boy sighed. "We should go," he said wearily, pushing back his seat to stand up.

Leorio watched wordlessly as Kurapika walked away towards the servant. Words were exchanged, unheard by the doctor though, but he could hardly care. Various thoughts circled around his head. What was happening between him and Kurapika anyway? Was he right in saying that things had finally changed for the better? What fool he seemed to be to actually think that Kurapika would trust him as much. It only seemed like they were back to square one.

But further thoughts left him as a soft warmth crept itself in his hand. Blinking himself back to reality, he was then met by the most beautiful pair of smiling blue eyes, looking up at him with an unreadable expression, yet not exactly negatively. Confused by the sudden action, Leorio blinked again. "Ku-Kurapika?"

"I told the man to just wait for us at the front door," he said. The hand that was distinctly Kurapika's tightened its hold, the smile not leaving the other boy. "We should go," he said again, pulling the doctor gently to get a move on.

Dismissing past thoughts in the back of his mind, Leorio finally decided to smile. He and Kurapika may not be as close as he wanted them to be, but nevertheless, this closeness, this intimacy, it could be enough. Looking at Kurapika now, his eyes gazing up at him with no less than trust and a special recognition for him, he could feel his own emotions welling up inside of him. He was wrong. Kurapika did trust him.

"Suki da, Kurapika," he said, almost unconsciously. But he didn't regret the words even if they surprised even himself. After all, there's nothing to regret if what you said was true. And the innocent redness that spread across the perfect pale porcelain that was Kurapika's cheeks was priceless. Leorio reminded himself to say that more often. He let out a small chuckle. "You're right, let's go," he said, pulling away from the beautiful youth.

As for Kurapika, though still half-consciously dwelling on those words, he snapped awake. He watched silently as Leorio walked away, only to turn around and eye him expectantly, as if calling for him to come to him. Sighing, he shook his head, and much as he tried to suppress it, the small growing grin on his face betrayed his serious expression. Soon, he was on his feet, beside the older man, his smile never as sincere nor as unmarred as they had ever been.

Maybe this could work out. Even if secrets were still kept, he believed his rare optimism for once, he knew that Leorio would never hurt him. And he had firmly told himself that he will never hurt him in any way as he had done once before. No more pain. For Leorio, for both of them.

He looked up at Leorio. Thank you, were the unsaid words, still not finding the courage to say it out loud. But that, like everything else, will come out sooner or later. Because now, after years of loneliness and meaningless existence, he finally had faith in something once again. His obsession for revenge was not anymore the reason why he was alive.

End of Chapter 8

Suki da - I like you

A/N:
*still swooning* Leorio-sama, be mine, be mine~!!! *hearts popping out, hugging a Leorio plushy* (Hai! Baka Che-chan had done this chapter while listening to Leorio-sama sing with Kurapika-sama!) So I guess that explains the *cough* waff *cough* in this chapter between them.

Oh, and another thing. Can somebody please send me the translations of Tobira? If someone has it, please please do share, I'll beg if I have to!!!

As for Gon and Killua...I'm still not sure if I should add a few hints of Gon/Killua. Ehehe...if there is in this chapter, ehe, go judge for yourself, okay? ^_^' Thank you for reading!

And lastly, to Nikki-sama, Assassin for a Lover was great! *bows gratefully* I hope you get to make more fanfics like that in the future. Neeee...Kurapika/Leorio, please?? *puppy dog eyes* I'll be your slave forever!

-Cherrie (http://www.geocities.com/kurapikasama)