Mask of Innocence

Disclaimers: Hunter X Hunter and all mentioned characters are owned by the greatest mangaka of all time, Mr. Yoshihiro Togashi. Rest assured that no money is being made in writing this fanfic.
Notes: A few more chapters more, and I'm happy to say that this fanfic is nearing its end ^_^ I'm quite happy, because I've never finished a chaptered fic before *sheepish laugh*. But I won't make it too quick that it would be left hanging. Wish me luck, minna! =P

Chapter 12 - Face to Face

Hisoka's dark eyes swept through his soiled fingers before he mindlessly dismissed them in but a series of mechanical claps. His steps sounded through the hard stone floors of the front rooms of the mansion, a part that was a grave opposite of the rooms at the back. He figured that the reason why the front's style was a bit too morbid for a normal person was because the family might've liked to be seen as who they're known to be. Perhaps they're just trying to live up to their name. Might as well strike fear into the little people's minds with the look of their residence, right?

Actually, he found it weird. But what the hell, it's not like he hasn't seen them as weird from the very start anyway.

The flames from the torches were the only source of light that aided him as he walked down the wide hall. He kept his eyes ahead, his lips still posed in that almost permanent smirk as his arms rested unmoving inside the pocket of his black pants. Well, actually, the pants, along with most of the clothes he wore at the moment, weren't exactly his. He had borrowed them from Illumi especially for the proposed battle the eldest Zoldick child had offered. Both he and Illumi had seemed to agree that in fairness, they should wear similar, if not all in all the same, clothes so that they wouldn't be burdened as much with any discomfort.

Of course, being the arrogant man who cared about how he looks, he wasn't going to let his style get away. While Illumi wore the simple color of black from head to toe (a color Hisoka thought was way over used by the boy despite the fact that it suits him anyway), he made sure that he wasn't wearing only one color. So he used a blood red sleeveless shirt for his top. Lastly, his sharp crimson hair was fixed in a low ponytail behind his back.

He forgot the reason why he dressed less daringly the past few days, still void of the facial make-up and all. He didn't bother trying to remember. Illumi seemed to prefer him as simple as possible anyway, so he supposed that it wasn't so bad despite his being unused to it sometimes.

Finally reaching his destination, his steps faltered to a stop as he looked up at the majestic doors of what was supposed to be one of Sillva's rooms. He had asked fairly well from every servant he passed by to find out just where the older man was. He had stayed long enough to know that the members of the family had more than one room. One for dressing up, one for working, one for studying, one for sleeping of course, those kinds of things and the like. Another one of the family's absurdities no doubt.

A series of knocks came quite soon. He didn't bother waiting for an answer. He pushed one door open and stepped inside.

"Who's there?" came a heavy voice from one corners of the room. Sillva's voice, if Hisoka remembered it properly.

The magician's smirk gained a bit more confidence. He wasn't really afraid of him, unlike most people. Why would he? He was never given enough reason to fear anything or anybody before, so why start now?

All right, so there was something he was a tad bit afraid of, but that was why he was there in the first place. Taking a deep breath, the magician took another step, ignoring the momentary sounds of the door as it closed behind him.

By the time he was a few more steps inside, he finally turned to the farthest corner of the room. All he saw was but a shadow, but it was enough for him to know who to speak with.

"Sillva-san, may I have a word with you?"

* * * * *

"Why?"

He couldn't look at him. By the time he heard the young boy's usually lively voice drop down a few octaves lower to what sounds to him like it was mixed with fear and disbelief, he knew he wouldn't be able to look into his eyes anymore. Those eyes revealed far too much, and he need not look up to see that they're now filled with more emotions than he can ever count. They will hurt too much, so cowardly as it may seem to be, he refrained from looking.

But it was inevitable for him to look up when he felt warm yet shaking hands grab hold of his shoulders, forcing him to turn and face the other. He tried shutting his eyes, but he couldn't shut his ears to the desperate words that came from the very voice that he knew he'll never forget.

"Why, Killua? Are you telling me that I won't be seeing you anymore?"

He couldn't remember the exact moment their laughter turned into this. Just a while ago, he found himself smiling again after the harsh day he have had so far. After his training session, and after that horrid moment he saw himself look into his older brother's dark eyes, the only time he remembered himself realizing that he was capable of being happy was when he went up to his best friend and told him they can now play together again.

But deep into their light-hearted conversation, the picture of his father came to mind. He knew he had to tell Gon sooner or later. He told himself that it might as well be done sooner lest he fully loses it and decide to just run away again. And yet, he didn't know what made him change his mind about freedom against responsibilities. He couldn't even remember a single word his father said now that he thought about it, but still, he was here, telling his best friend about what he knew would happen, and what must be done.

That is, that was what he had planned. But now that he saw the look of sadness and confusion cross Gon's youthfully innocent face, he knew he's losing. He couldn't do it. He couldn't stand it. He'll take anything but this.

If only there was something he could do to make him smile again.

And soon after he thought of that did he shift his eyes to a much more pleasant scene. Two familiar faces were looking at him from one of the other cottages that stood about that hill. Leorio and Kurapika, with their eyes ever so warm and welcoming. Their gazes seem to be the only consolation heaven sent down for him after all that he had gone through.

Forcing a smile, Killua turned away from the two to face Gon. He held up his hands to take Gon's own away from his shoulders. If only he would've allowed it, he would've winced at the weakness he found in those supposedly strong hands. Had Gon been that bothered by what he had just said?

In an attempt to comfort him, he spoke. "Ne Gon, forget it, okay? I should've thought that this wasn't the right time for me to say this to you, I'm sorry. I'll try to sort out my mind, then we'll talk again, okay?" he offered, his smile still intact.

Smile for me Gon. I can't smile for too long unless you coax me into doing it. That's what you do, remember?

But Gon's lips were still a firm line that trembled nervously at random. "Killua...will everything be all right?" he asked, his voice still void of its usual liveliness.

I can only wish...but I will try. If that's what it would take for me to stay with you longer, I'll do anything.

But instead of saying his thoughts out loud, the young Zoldick just remained smiling. He squeezed Gon's hands before letting go, wishing that it would be enough to comfort the young boy. "Leorio and Kurapika are over there," he said, pointing at the cottage from where their two other friends stayed. "Let's go to them, ne?"

He didn't bother checking whether or not Gon nodded. He took the boy's wrist and started pulling him out of the seats they stayed in. He practically ran through the grassed hill towards the other two, with Gon trailing limply behind him. If only they were like how they were used to, he would've hit the boy upside the head to knock him out of whatever it was that bothered him. But for some strange reason, he didn't feel like it was the right thing to do.

If only he could make him forget about what he had just said, maybe things would still be the same. Who was he to think that he could bring the news out to him without causing pain? If only he could take it all back, maybe then he wouldn't be bothered by Gon's eyes so much. Maybe, even up to now, Gon would still be smiling.

* * * * *

"Where have you been?" asked a very irritated voice by the time he had stepped inside the room.

Hisoka merely grinned back at the obviously impatient face that his lover presented to him. Really, the younger man was entirely too cute looking pissed. Feigning innocence, he answered. "Uhm, the bathroom?" he said, pointing at the bath robe he wrapped around himself while holding up the towel he was using to dry his hair.

He loved the way those black eyes rolled in an irate way before the ebony-haired beauty himself stepped up to eye him warily. Or glare, whatever one would call it. "You disappeared right after I asked you to stay put. What the hell do you think you were doing running off like that?"

"Why? Were you worried?" the magician asked playfully.

"Actually, yes. I was worried that I might soon hear of our precious house getting burned to the ground by some homicidal lunatic that somehow went on the lose," Illumi retorted sarcastically.

Putting out a mock pout, Hisoka reached out to rest an arm around the slightly smaller man's shoulder. "Aaw, I can't believe you'd say something like that. I'm hurt! And the thought of your house being precious to you never crossed me..."

Wincing somewhat, the pale-skinned Zoldick rolled his eyes yet again. "Quit joking around, Hisoka. Where have you been?" he asked, as impatient as he was before.

Still undefeated by Illumi's constant short-temperedness, Hisoka just shrugged. "Oh, just somewhere," he answered, dully rubbing the towel on his hair again.

"Answer me properly, please," came Illumi's authoritative voice.

"This coming from somebody whom I just asked a question from and answered me sarcastically?"

"Hisoka."

"No really!" Hisoka held up his hands in a sign of defeat. "I just went around by myself so I could think, that's all." He was lying, but he found no use for telling Illumi the truth anyway. Not that his real intention was to keep things from the other, but what the hell, lying was a habit to him. Even if it was not, he would still find the right time to tell Illumi of what it was that he had done.

Unfortunately for him, Illumi didn't seem satisfied. "You're lying," he stated firmly, despite the fact that Hisoka could've sworn that he had said his earlier statement with a face as straight as all the others. But Illumi seemed to be sure of his instinct that the other was lying. He turned his back and reached for the knob on the door. "Fine, if you prefer to be like that, so be it." And with that, he was opening the door, about to leave. Or so he had intended, until Hisoka stopped him.

"That's it? You just came here to ask that stupid question, and then you're leaving? You're not going to talk to me, ask me other things, tell me what happened while you were just as well away a while ago?" he stopped momentarily to leer down at the young Zoldick. "No goodnight kiss even?"

One slender brow rose from their well-rested state above wide, cat-like eyes. "Since when have I visited your room to give you a dumb kiss anyway?"

"The question is, Since when have you visited my room at all?" retorted Hisoka, who held a slightly annoyed look on him. "Come to think of it, it's always me who comes to you, isn't it?"

Illumi glared at him, still trying to pull away. "Apparently, I somehow have the sanity enough to control my hormones."

Hisoka laughed. "Of course, the ever so insensitive one. Ironic how it is that you're the more passionate one in bed, don't you think?"

"Shut up," was all Illumi said before he tried pulling on the door again. Hisoka still held it still, and they had to put up with a staring game. Well, Hisoka's staring, Illumi was obviously glaring. "Stop grinning at me and let me go," ordered the young Zoldick again. And again, his orders were left ignored.

"No." And with that said, Hisoka pushed the lock on the door and placed all the latches in place. The bedroom doors in the mansion had three sets of locks. For whatever reason, he had no idea. But this time, it would keep Illumi in longer, just in case the other one tried to escape. He does so quite a few times, unfortunately.

"Just in case you don't know, my sister found out about us, thanks to you. Now if you don't mind..."

"No use hiding now that she knows, right?"

"The point is that if she found out, it's possible that more people might find out the same way. And if you please think about it, your room being locked and mine being empty at this hour of the night isn't as natural as you may think."

"You're being too paranoid."

"And you're taking too many chances."

Hisoka sighed. From personal experience, he knew that it's difficult to argue with Illumi if the younger man had set his mind to something. Well, that was unless one would be more persistent and hard-headed. But that would make Illumi lose his patience in return. So obviously, he had choices when he was with him, but it was hard to choose any of them, considering the consequences.

With Hisoka deep in thought, he didn't notice that Illumi had made his way towards the door and proceeded to unlocking the latches and chains that made up the extra locks. By the time Hisoka realized just what the other was doing, the door was opened.

Despite everything that had happened, there were still times when he thought that Illumi was still as cold as he had been before. And these kinds of situation were not helping. And to think he'd do just about the extremes just to stay with him. Even until now, he still couldn't believe it.

But just when he thought he had left, Illumi's steps seem to get louder again, as if he was walking towards the room from whence he had just left. A few seconds later, his head popped in from the slight creak on the door with an annoyed look. Whether he was annoyed at Hisoka or something else, it was hard to tell. With a defeated sigh, he closed his eyes and spoke. "Wait for me here, I'll just lock my room's door." He stopped. "That is if you changed your mind and decided I need sleep."

Somehow relieved, Hisoka gained back his grin, understanding the real message to that statement. "Of course not. You get too much sleep already, Illumi-kun," he said, a tad bit too enthusiastically. Illumi has his own language, but it doesn't take a genius to see what he really meant. Okay, so sometimes he can be a bit difficult to understand, but the effort is all worth it in the end anyway.

Goodness, I'm really getting soft. I wonder if it had developed into a habit...

The magician could only shake his head at himself. He listened as Illumi's footsteps died down on the halls. Has it been so long since he remembered himself as someone whose life is all about fighting and killing and stealing and the like? He hasn't killed the usual amount of people lately after all, all he's had so far is the bunch of pitiful idiots who somehow pass through the gigantic doors towards the Zoldick territory while he takes his little strolls.

He sighed, shaking his head again. Instead of giving himself any further headaches, he just decided to lie down on his bed to rest while waiting. He stayed in his robe, since he decided that he shouldn't bother putting on any clothes. He wouldn't be using them anyway. Illumi would see to that.

End of chapter 12

A/N:
This was shorter than the last chapter, sorry ^^; This is a rewriting of the 12th chapter, that's why it took so long to come out ^^; Not that this one is any good either, but it's better than the last draft. I told you all that chatroom thing I'm doing right now is getting to me. That *points at Hisoka/Illumi part* is what I get for making Hisoka far too playful while listening to the HxH Character Vocal Song cd over and over. Ack, Gon-kun's voice is far too high-pitched and perky for this supposedly morbid fanfic! . I'm telling you, only Kurapika-sama and Leorio-sama have decent voices here. Gon's is far too cute for my own good, and Killua's is far too much like Gon's that I can't distinguish them from the other anymore *sticks tongue out*. And Hisoka's...er, nevermind. For those who have heard it, you know what I mean ^_~ I wanna hear Illumi sing though. Hey, if they made Sensui and Itsuki sing for YYH, why not Hisoka and Illumi? *ehehe!*

Also, I just watched the first parts of Hunter X Hunter (a part I unfortunately missed the first time around thanks to another's stations choice of anime that I foolishly thought I preferred more than HxH *I'm an idiot, I know*), and I found out that, heaven forgive me, I've made a LOT of mistakes. Especially on the part of the Zoldicks, but hey, they're a rich family, their mansion isn't as simple as a castle that looks like a dungeon (even if it is, HEY, this is a fanfic ^.^) I'm trying to edit the whole fanfic right now (along with the typos and grammatical errors, I found out how much they were when I reread this stupid fic *scowls at herself*). I might update this a few days from now. Er...that's it, thanks for reading! =^0^=