Mask of Innocence

Disclaimers: Hunter X Hunter and all mentioned characters are owned by the greatest mangaka of all time, Mr. Yoshihiro Togashi. Rest assured that no money is being made in writing this fanfic.
Notes: *hides behind her chair* Yikes...someone caught my booboo ^^; Er, hai, Sarj-san (*blinku* I'm older than you? So that makes you 14? ^0^ Would you mind it if I still call you 'Sarj-san'? Ehe, out of habit *sweatdrops* I'm used to being one of the young ones since I did start writing pathetically at the age of 12, so I practically refer to everybody as '-san', ehehehe...), that chapter was useless. Supposedly, this chapter and the last should be just one, but I figured that it would then be too long. Kind of like those other chapters I have that pretty much only contains one relevant scene and the others are just fillers. *scratches head* I don't know if anybody got what I'm yapping about. Ahahaha! Don't worry, confusing people and myself is a habit I can't seem to get rid of, hahahaha--*gets hurled with a flying dictionary*

Chapter 13 - Uplift

He felt heavy.

The day was fair enough. The winds were neither warm nor cold, and the sky was lined with beautiful clouds with various shapes. He noted that if he were in a better mood, he would lie down on the soft grass and stare at them for hours, naming them one by one depending on what they would remind him of.

He would've smiled at the thought. In fact, he was just about to smile, but a certain thought instinctively crossed him that kept his lips in a thin line of disappointment; the expression that he had been wearing ever since he stopped to stare off at a distance that early morning.

If this was just an ordinary day, I would've asked Killua to come and watch the clouds with me, he thought sadly, remembering the time when he had brought Killua to his home back in Whale Island. He had been so happy that time, finally being able to spend time with his best friend and still remain with his beloved aunt and grandmother.

He missed them. But then again, it had been his choice to leave anyway. How long has it been? How many months have passed without him going back home?

He sighed, his young boy's face looking more and more morose as seconds continued to pass him by. It hasn't even reached half a year yet and he's already homesick enough to leap for the next ship that would sail for his home if he was given the chance. But ironically, he was just as afraid to go home as he was ecstatic about it. That's because going home also means that he'll be leaving something else that was equally important to him now aside from the family that he had left behind.

In just a few days, I'll be leaving Killua, he told himself. 'Leaving', not only referring to leaving momentarily. To him, by the way Killua had said it to him, 'leave' means goodbye. A final farewell. He can't understand why he has to, even up until now. After Killua had left them because of another family affair, he wasn't able to suppress his feelings any longer and ran to Kurapika, begging him to explain the situation as simply and as gently as he could.

But despite how Kurapika had taken great care not to make it too painful, it still was. His two older friends must've realized this, for they stopped telling him the things that he had wanted to know and just started to give him words of comfort that barely did the job.

He decided that he shouldn't bother Leorio and Kurapika anymore with his problems. After all, he had caused them far too many troubles already than he could count. He didn't want to bother people anymore, and he must learn how to stand on his own.

But it was hard. It was hard to stand on your own when all you ever wanted to do was to run into the arms of somebody who can comfort you.

He shook his head vigorously to clear up his mind. No, he mustn't think of such things. The fact that he had thought of Killua on that previous thought did not help him in any way. If possible, it only made this unwanted feeling worse. For the first time in his life, he pushed away the invitations of optimism, and just dwelled on his present grief and confusion in hopes that it may help him get rid of this ache.

* * * * *

Raven orbs of midnight black looked around the area. He didn't know why he went there, or how long he intended to walk around in circles with no place to go. Perhaps long enough to clear his mind. But then again, with the rate that he had gone through, which was about three hours walking while muttering curses after curses, he didn't think his plan was working very well.

Irritated with himself and of his own surroundings, he swept back a few locks of dark hair away from his eyes, only to be more annoyed when the damned things just went back to where they originally were. Deciding that walking won't do him any good, he let out a sigh and just looked for a place to rest.

He walked a few steps ahead, only to catch a familiar presence around him. He looked around, leveling down his aura so he wouldn't be felt in return. After a few more strides, he finally found who it was that he had sensed, his brows furrowing in a guarded expression.

"Gon."

* * * * *

His head quickly swept back in alarm when he heard his name called. And sure enough, right after that bone-chilling voice said his name out loud, his fear did not lessen at all. If possible, the sight of the pale figure of Killua's brother only heightened his uneasiness.

But as not to be rude, he nodded his head in acknowledgement. His instincts argued that he might be in danger though. After all, the last time they were alone, this man had attempted to kill him.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you," said the older man, his voice still in that same low, ghostly tone that he was familiar with.

And slowly, as if he was performing a graceful dance step, he stepped forward and extended his arm, his finger spread in delicate positions in his hand. It was like last time, when he had looked at him and did what seemed to be a gesture to reach out and touch him. But unlike last time, there was no hint of malice in the other's actions, and all of a sudden, he didn't fear him anymore. He did not back away.

He felt the heaviness of the other's hand on his head moments later. It stayed there for a few more seconds, and the two of them faced each other straight in the eye.

Sensing that the young boy's nerves were now at ease, Illumi backed away and retrieved his hand back to its place on his side. "This is quite far from the mansion," he remarked, still looking at the boy. "What are you doing here?"

"Uh..." Gon looked down, thinking of a good reason.

I wanted some air? I want to see the forests around these mountains? I got lost?

Deciding that there was no sense in all of the things that he had thought of, he opted to just say the truth. After all, he didn't think that Illumi was the type who'd fall for petty excuses anyway. "I came here to think," he said, his eyes going back to the other's. He felt the pressure of Illumi's gaze on him, but he didn't allow it to bother him. Or at least, he tried not to be bothered.

Illumi nodded. He seemed to have accepted his answer, Gon thought. And as if that wasn't surprise enough, the eldest Zoldick spoke again. "Same here."

Gon blinked. Where was this conversation going to anyway?

"Oh, okay. Well, I better leave you now, Illumi-san." With that, he took a step back, intending to leave. Being alone with Illumi isn't exactly his favorite pastime. But just when he was a few steps away, he heard the other speak again.

"You don't intend to take Killua away again, do you?" It didn't even come out as a question. Illumi's voice had such conviction that he could've sworn that he need not answer him.

But he did. He turned his back to face him again. "No," he said.

For a few moments, Gon thought that Illumi won't be saying anything else, for he only stood there, staring at him again. "I know you don't," he said, again stating it as if it was a known fact.

But before Gon could leave again, he continued with what he was saying. "But what made us worried last time was that even if you don't want to take him away, we were sure that he will leave us," he looked at Gon with more intensity now. "Perhaps he was only looking for a reason to satisfy our questions why."

"Killua wants to stay," he said. He paused for a while before adding, "I don't like you people." He said this with full, unblemished honesty. "I don't think your lives are led well. But even if it's like that, I still see something good in all of you somehow. Maybe that's why I still have respect in you. And now that I found out just how much Killua is willing to give up just to uphold the name of this family, maybe I don't really have much choice but to accept things as that."

"Hn," Illumi seemed to be turning his back. "You've always been the martyr."

"If that what it takes to make him happy," he retorted.

If he didn't know any better, he would've thought Illumi was glaring at him.

"You really are just a child," Illumi said finally. He didn't wait for Gon to say anything else as he started walking away. Soon, he also heard the set of steps that indicated that the young boy has run away as well.

After all these years of watching Killua grow up, this is the first time I ever saw him so full of life. And even now as you walk away, the will and determination to concur life that you left in him allows him to smile even now that he's back to the same life that he had hated.

He stopped and turned his back, watching as Gon's figure disappeared into the thickness of the vegetation. He knew that the boy never liked him. He didn't mind. But still, under his breath, his voice intended to be hidden..."I thank you."

* * * * *

Killua watched idly as the sun began to set in an array of colors across the afternoon sky. He sat sprawled forward against the back of a chair, his cheek resting tiredly on his folded arms. The constant shifting of clothes and shoes against the carpeted floors distracted him to no end, yet he couldn't just go up, stand and leave. He wanted this. He wanted to watch them in his misery as they come back and forth across the room as if they wanted to shove it in his face that they were leaving by the next day.

He listened to Leorio ask Kurapika where he keeps his writing materials and the other pieces of documents the Kuruta brought with him. He shifted his head from the window to the other occupants of the room while listening to what Kurapika said afterwards.

Not knowing what else to do, he sat up. "Where's Gon?" came the much expected question.

It was Leorio who answered. "He went out. He said he wanted to go around and walk or something," he said.

All of them knew the reason behind the boy's disappearance. But it was Killua who showed the most signs of disturbance.

"You know, it's not the end of the world. You two are going to see each other again," came Leorio's attempt to reassure the younger boy.

Killua sighed. "You're only saying that because you don't know the complications involved in my stupid family's traditions," answered the young assassin, proceeding to going back to his earlier position as he stared at the now dark horizons.

He heard Leorio snort. "Ever heard of the 'break away from tradition' phrase?"

Killua shrugged, still staring off at the window. "Yeah? I'll keep that in mind. I'll do that after I massacre my whole family," came Killua indifferent answer.

The other two can only shake their heads at that emotionlessly bored reply. They know Killua well enough to be used to those kinds of lines. But even until now, they still weren't sure if the boy really did mean what he says he will do. They were all far too good--and awful--to be true, but then again, this was Killua they're talking to.

"Are you bothered?"

Killua turned his head to the owner of that much more gentle voice. Kurapika looked back at him with a serious expression, with a certainty that only the young, yet mature boy can ever have. He found out that he couldn't lie to him.

"Yes," he said finally, admitting his own part of the sadness as he leaned more and more to hide himself in the confines of his own arms.

"You will see him again," Kurapika said, mimicking what the older doctor beside him just said. "So why don't you just stop moping around and help us in here?"

Killua laughed. He would've teased Kurapika for his temper and his arrogance to trust his own words, but the door opened noisily enough to disrupt him.

"Hi."

The three of them stared up at the small figure standing by the door, a small yet bright smile painted on his face again. And before he knew it, Killua found himself jumping out from the chair from which he sat on and started running towards the smaller boy.

"Gon!" he greeted upon reaching him.

Gon grinned up at him, sending a stroke of relief to flow through Killua. Gon was all right. "Killua!" he greeted back, his smile going even more wider.

He didn't know whether he should be happy that Gon's smiling again. Does it mean that he doesn't mind them saying goodbye?

He retained his smile though. "Where have you been?" he asked him.

"Out," replied Gon simply. "I was thinking about what you said. I don't know if I decided on anything or if I settled anything at all, but I am sure of one thing: This will not be the last time that I'm going to see Killua." He said it with an air of sincerity and determination, that Killua could've sworn that he felt the strength of those words just by listening to them.

His smile widened at that. "Oh really?" he teased, throwing his arm around Gon's shoulder to rub him on the head. "That's what Kurapika said, you know!"

Gon twisted around to get away from Killua's hold, and was successful after a few attempts. "Really?" he asked, his eye brightening even more. "Then it must be true!" he declared happily.

From behind the two, Kurapika blinked. "What?" came his useful response.

Leorio laughed beside him. "Of course! If the great Kurapika says it so, and Gon-sensor-extraordinaire says it so, then it must be true, right Killua?"

"Hehe, hey, it wouldn't hurt to believe, would it?"

"The great Kurapika now, is it? I'm sorry but I sensed a bit of sarcasm there, Leorio," Kurapika said, pointing an accusing finger at the doctor.

"Me? I've never been more truthful in my entire life!"

"Leorio..."

Killua watched as the two bickered some more, with Gon eventually joining in. He shook his head at the sight, mentally taking note that despite the constant weirdness of these people, they were still the same people he had grown to call his friends.

No matter how many times his family denies it, he knew that it was the truth.

* * * * *

"Okay...now let me get this straight. I missed killing that delicious specimen for a challenger outside the gates just because of your sudden fixation with hallmark moments?"

Illumi heaved a rough grunt. "I didn't ask you to come with me," he said.

Hisoka laughed and jumped down from the higher tree branch that he stood upon to sit beside Illumi, who sat at a branch as well on a level from which he could watch the scene behind one of the mansion's windows. "Yeah, well, you don't expect me to neglect you now, do you?" he grinned playfully.

"Who said anything about neglect? I was actually wishing you'd leave me alone so I can watch my brother in peace."

Hisoka snorted. "Watch my brother in peace my foot. I'm not falling for that. Say...why don't we start bonding as well?"

"I hope you're not talking about anything physical, Hisoka. I'm busy."

Another laugh. "You've read my thoughts! I'm touched, you know me so well, Illumi-kun!"

Another grunt. "Shut up."

Hisoka quieted down for a few moments, following Illumi's gaze as he looked down at the glass window again. "But I'm serious," he said. After a few moments of watching the four, his eyes turned back to Illumi. "Leave that annoying brother of yours alone and we'll just make most of the time we have, ne?"

Illumi was quiet for a while. "You mean the time we have left before you leave, is that what you mean?"

Hisoka smirked. My my, somebody's worried, he said to himself. Though he wanted to play around for a little more, he knew he should tell him now or else he wouldn't know how to later on. Well, he does know how, but he wouldn't think Illumi would appreciate being played around with.

"Leaving?" he asked, feigning innocence. "Who ever said I was leaving?"

And at that, Illumi quickly turned his eyes from Killua to him. "Excuse me?" he asked, surprise evident in his supposedly indifferent features.

Hisoka grinned. "Surprise, surprise. I'm not leaving, Illumi-kun."

End of chapter 13

A/N:
There...now that wasn't so bad, was it? *uneasy grin* I'm wrapping up now, an act alien to my own self. I can't believe I'm about to finish this thing! *mock gasp and bonks herself on the head*

To my reviewer who said that I should hurt Hisoka...er, *scratches head* sorry, no can do! He-ey! I love Hisoka, why would I hurt him? o.O

Sorry for any errors and such and such. Still editing the whole fic from chapter 1, so bear with me. Also, periodical exams are coming near. You know what that means...? More free time for me! Mwahahahaha! Early dismissals are great, ne? I never really spend more than an hour in studying anyway =P Funny how I still pass *sweatdrops*

- Cherrie (kurapikasama@yahoo.com)