I meant to post this last night but...well...I think there's drool on my keyboard were I feel asleep. I didn't change out of my work uniform before I passed out on the couch. Anyway, I hope this will last you a while because now your caught up with the other site and I'm at a loss about what's exactly next. Enjoy -puppy p.s. woof
Carina
Part 11
"Is this what you see?" Carina said with a smile. Her scared tears were still trailing down her cheeks as she looked around the room but she was smiling nonetheless. Her eyes trailed around the large guest room and she saw all of the rich colors and objects and that was it. The simplicity was so powerful almost like she was in a whole new world. She turned to Max and was stunned. There was no analyzing of her features or of body temperature. There was just her face, something Carina had never really been able to see. She reached out and touched her face. "Max, you're so beautiful." Max put her hand up to Carina's, took it away from her face, and held it. A little smile appeared on her lips.
Carina turned to look up at the ceiling. "Remember you told me...that after the escape it was like everything was in color all of a sudden. Max that's what it feels like. There's no mission, just me in here." Carina went to sit up, she was eager to explore the apartment and see what else was different but a blinding pain surged through her head. She cried out a little and let Max push her back down. She looked up at Max's worried expression. "It's just a head ache." She lied. "Do you think Logan has any aspirin." Max nodded and got up to leave the room.
She walked into the kitchen to find Logan and Jake sitting at the table. They stopped talking as soon as she walked in. Max walked by them to the cabinets and got out aspirin and a glass of water. She set them infront of Jake and motioned to the bedroom with her head.
"Go on," she said. Jake grabbed the bottle and glass and hurried out.
"So she's awake?" Logan asked, as she took the vacated seat. She didn't look at him just studied the grain of the table.
"Yep."
"Is she okay?"
"I think so," she paused for a moment thinking about what Carina had said and Logan waited patiently. "She said she can't hear the computer any more." Max frowned and looked up at Logan.
"Is that a good or bad?"
"I don't know. It's been with her so long."
"It's like losing a piece of her," Logan said completing her thought.
"This could be bad." Logan could swear that he saw fear in her eyes.
"All we can do is watch her. Make sure she doesn't do anything rash."
"Jake will probably stay with her a while but he looks exhausted. I'll take over after he's crashed. Why don't you try to get some more sleep so you can watch her while I'm at work." Logan nodded and held her glance for a moment, trying to reassure her at least with his eyes. He wheeled back away from the table and stopped by her on the way out. He put his hand on her shoulder.
"It'll be okay Max," he said hoping he sounded more assured then her felt.
"Promise?" She questioned without looking back at him. He tilted his head down and frowned a little then rolled off for his room.
Carina
Part 12
As soon as Max left the room Carina sighed. "What was this feeling...guilt," she thought. Max deserved to know. It was true that the computer wasn't with her...now. But there was a blinking in her mind. She couldn't physically see it but it was there. It was waiting for her to initiate a run command. But it was strange where normally she would have thought before talking, now it just was blurted out. The simplicity was becoming deafening.
She didn't have to initiate the file. Reality is objective she told herself. She would learn to deal with it. She could just be normal, well...as normal as a Manticore soldier could be. She didn't have to do it, she reminded herself. Maybe this time she would believe her own words.
The door opened a crack and Jake's head appeared.
"Can I come in?"
"Sure," she was relieved and a little worried for the distraction.
"How are you feeling?" He asked as he placed the glass and aspirin on the table and sat in the chair.
"Like I was whacked up side the head with a scrambling signal the size of a pre-pulse semi." (I was going to say by a Jam Pony Stick TM. but I don't have permission). Instantly she cringed from saying that. "I didn't mean it that way," she added aloud, not able to stop herself again.
"I'm sorry about what happened," he said. She had to smile at him. He looked like her childhood puppy after she ate her mom's shoes.
"It's okay you didn't know." She said trying not to smile. Just like she was for Max she was looking at him through a new perspective. She would say he was fine if she ever used language like that. His actions weren't just reactive to what he was feeling anymore, they were charming. Analyzing would always be part of her character but now she could let herself enjoy this moment. All the pain was worth feeling what his smile did to her.
She carefully sat up, trying to ignore the throbbing. It was so heavy that it made her dizzy so she downed the pills and drank the water as fast as possible. The whole while Jake was staring intensely at her. "You're making me nervous," She said, trying not to blush under his gaze. His intenseness was making her a bit uncomfortable. It wasn't only because of her attraction to him, but because she was unsure how much he knew. The soldier in her knew it was tactically to her disadvantage.
"Sorry," he said, purposely ignoring her blunt hint and continuing to stare. She lay back down, closed her eyes, and sighed, as the lack of throbbing was almost bliss. To her shock, she felt the covers being pulled up around her. She opened her eyes to find Jake leaning over her, tucking her in. For the first time in her life, she felt so completely human. The feeling settled in around her, bought some property and raised a family. He knew, what exactly she wasn't sure but her knew about her and he wasn't scared. On the contrary, he wanted to be near her. He gently kissed her on the forehead and she broke down.
"Jake what do you know about me?" She asked in a rush the old edge on her voice returning a little. She kicked herself inside. The moment was so perfect, d**n the soldier in her for not letting it last longer and d**n herself for not stopping it. Her worries were smashed into itty bitty little pieces as a smile formed on his lips. Her heart fluttered and she responded by biting her bottom lip to keep from smiling. "Down girl," she though, "just get the information...but that is a great smile." She shook off the urge to just reach out and kiss him. "Great time for control Carina," she said to herself half sarcastically half seriously.
"I know more than even Logan would tell me. I know about the barcode..." All warm and squishy feelings were gone at the mention of that ill-fated birthmark. Only fear that she would do something rash helped her keep composure. "My father is a black market dealer, he's a good man," he defended automatically. "He gives toothpaste to orphans and stuff like that. He never deals in bad stuff. He's like the neighborhood grocer." Jake was rambling on in his father's defense because he wanted her to trust him. "Anyway I saw Max's barcode and asked into it."
"Jake you can't do that. Asking questions about us could expose us and will get you killed with all certainty," she half scolded half warned.
"I haven't lived this long and not learned a few tricks. Besides, I got the information through one of Logan's informants. He's a good man," he said trying to put her at ease. He paused for a moment trying to gather the courage for what he was going to ask. "You don't have to answer this but I have to ask...What is it like? I mean with the chips." He regretted having asked as soon as she turned away from him.
"Before today I wouldn't have know how to answer that...but it seems that my head is quiet." She looked back at him to see that puppy look again. "I could turn them back on but I don't know if I should. I don't know what to do. I feel so out of control."
"Why don't you turn them back on?" He asked simply, not having the full story.
"Because if I turn on the programs I can't turn them off." She paused. "This right here is the reason I don't want to. Before I would only be like an observer, analyzing and thinking and interacting but still an observer." She looked deep into his dark brown eyes and the rest just fell out of her mouth. "You make me not want to give that up." Her eyes were filled with shock as she head that come out. "I didn't mean that...I mean I did but I didn't want to say...well I did but...ohh," she feeling frustrated and trapped and pulled the blankets over her face hoping that if she brought them down he would not be there. Her cheeks and heart and well the whole rest of her body was flushed. She was disappointed, but only a little to hear his warm laughter in response. "Please don't laugh," she said rather pathetically. She felt the blanket being pulled down away from her face and she tingled from the feeling it made on her already over sensitized skin. She looked up to find his face only about a foot away from hers.
"You know my mother once told me that I would never see my dream girl if I was looking so hard at computers. I think she would be pleasantly surprised to find herself wrong." Carina looked at him and whined then pulled the covers back over her head.
"Your not allowed to be charming."
"Is it against the rules?" he laughed.
"Most definitely. You have to go now before I do something unadvisable."
"Like what?" He asked curiously
"Either hit you or kiss you, which ever reflex takes over." She said extremely serious about not knowing which reflex would take over. She felt trapped and...well...not so trapped. She felt the sheet being pulled down again and she squeezed her eyes shut trying to refrain from doing anything except bite her lower lip.
"I'll take my chances," Jake said as he brushed her lips with a light kiss. Reluctantly she released her lower lip from her teeth and started to kiss him back. His mouth was so gentle and giving she didn't ever want to stop but something made her. It was panic.
"I'm sorry I can't," She said as she pulled away. She sat up, scooted off the bed, and tried to leave. She only got a foot before the blinding pain hit her again. She cried out and grabbed her head. She began to feel like she was falling when two strong arms picked her up and carried her back to the bed.
A few moments later she felt something cold and wet pressing against her head and she started to feel the pain dull a little. "I'm sorry," she whispered. He hushed her by placing his finger to her lips and continued to wipe her forehead with a cold cloth. He waited until she fell back asleep and then went to go find Logan and Max.
He found Max was still sitting at the kitchen table.
"Max, Carina needs to see a doctor." She responded with a frown. "I know why it's complicated but she's not doing well. She could have a hemorrhage or something and I just have a feeling that she needs help now." Max deliberated in her head for a moment then stood up.
"I'll get Logan."
Carina
Part 11
"Is this what you see?" Carina said with a smile. Her scared tears were still trailing down her cheeks as she looked around the room but she was smiling nonetheless. Her eyes trailed around the large guest room and she saw all of the rich colors and objects and that was it. The simplicity was so powerful almost like she was in a whole new world. She turned to Max and was stunned. There was no analyzing of her features or of body temperature. There was just her face, something Carina had never really been able to see. She reached out and touched her face. "Max, you're so beautiful." Max put her hand up to Carina's, took it away from her face, and held it. A little smile appeared on her lips.
Carina turned to look up at the ceiling. "Remember you told me...that after the escape it was like everything was in color all of a sudden. Max that's what it feels like. There's no mission, just me in here." Carina went to sit up, she was eager to explore the apartment and see what else was different but a blinding pain surged through her head. She cried out a little and let Max push her back down. She looked up at Max's worried expression. "It's just a head ache." She lied. "Do you think Logan has any aspirin." Max nodded and got up to leave the room.
She walked into the kitchen to find Logan and Jake sitting at the table. They stopped talking as soon as she walked in. Max walked by them to the cabinets and got out aspirin and a glass of water. She set them infront of Jake and motioned to the bedroom with her head.
"Go on," she said. Jake grabbed the bottle and glass and hurried out.
"So she's awake?" Logan asked, as she took the vacated seat. She didn't look at him just studied the grain of the table.
"Yep."
"Is she okay?"
"I think so," she paused for a moment thinking about what Carina had said and Logan waited patiently. "She said she can't hear the computer any more." Max frowned and looked up at Logan.
"Is that a good or bad?"
"I don't know. It's been with her so long."
"It's like losing a piece of her," Logan said completing her thought.
"This could be bad." Logan could swear that he saw fear in her eyes.
"All we can do is watch her. Make sure she doesn't do anything rash."
"Jake will probably stay with her a while but he looks exhausted. I'll take over after he's crashed. Why don't you try to get some more sleep so you can watch her while I'm at work." Logan nodded and held her glance for a moment, trying to reassure her at least with his eyes. He wheeled back away from the table and stopped by her on the way out. He put his hand on her shoulder.
"It'll be okay Max," he said hoping he sounded more assured then her felt.
"Promise?" She questioned without looking back at him. He tilted his head down and frowned a little then rolled off for his room.
Carina
Part 12
As soon as Max left the room Carina sighed. "What was this feeling...guilt," she thought. Max deserved to know. It was true that the computer wasn't with her...now. But there was a blinking in her mind. She couldn't physically see it but it was there. It was waiting for her to initiate a run command. But it was strange where normally she would have thought before talking, now it just was blurted out. The simplicity was becoming deafening.
She didn't have to initiate the file. Reality is objective she told herself. She would learn to deal with it. She could just be normal, well...as normal as a Manticore soldier could be. She didn't have to do it, she reminded herself. Maybe this time she would believe her own words.
The door opened a crack and Jake's head appeared.
"Can I come in?"
"Sure," she was relieved and a little worried for the distraction.
"How are you feeling?" He asked as he placed the glass and aspirin on the table and sat in the chair.
"Like I was whacked up side the head with a scrambling signal the size of a pre-pulse semi." (I was going to say by a Jam Pony Stick TM. but I don't have permission). Instantly she cringed from saying that. "I didn't mean it that way," she added aloud, not able to stop herself again.
"I'm sorry about what happened," he said. She had to smile at him. He looked like her childhood puppy after she ate her mom's shoes.
"It's okay you didn't know." She said trying not to smile. Just like she was for Max she was looking at him through a new perspective. She would say he was fine if she ever used language like that. His actions weren't just reactive to what he was feeling anymore, they were charming. Analyzing would always be part of her character but now she could let herself enjoy this moment. All the pain was worth feeling what his smile did to her.
She carefully sat up, trying to ignore the throbbing. It was so heavy that it made her dizzy so she downed the pills and drank the water as fast as possible. The whole while Jake was staring intensely at her. "You're making me nervous," She said, trying not to blush under his gaze. His intenseness was making her a bit uncomfortable. It wasn't only because of her attraction to him, but because she was unsure how much he knew. The soldier in her knew it was tactically to her disadvantage.
"Sorry," he said, purposely ignoring her blunt hint and continuing to stare. She lay back down, closed her eyes, and sighed, as the lack of throbbing was almost bliss. To her shock, she felt the covers being pulled up around her. She opened her eyes to find Jake leaning over her, tucking her in. For the first time in her life, she felt so completely human. The feeling settled in around her, bought some property and raised a family. He knew, what exactly she wasn't sure but her knew about her and he wasn't scared. On the contrary, he wanted to be near her. He gently kissed her on the forehead and she broke down.
"Jake what do you know about me?" She asked in a rush the old edge on her voice returning a little. She kicked herself inside. The moment was so perfect, d**n the soldier in her for not letting it last longer and d**n herself for not stopping it. Her worries were smashed into itty bitty little pieces as a smile formed on his lips. Her heart fluttered and she responded by biting her bottom lip to keep from smiling. "Down girl," she though, "just get the information...but that is a great smile." She shook off the urge to just reach out and kiss him. "Great time for control Carina," she said to herself half sarcastically half seriously.
"I know more than even Logan would tell me. I know about the barcode..." All warm and squishy feelings were gone at the mention of that ill-fated birthmark. Only fear that she would do something rash helped her keep composure. "My father is a black market dealer, he's a good man," he defended automatically. "He gives toothpaste to orphans and stuff like that. He never deals in bad stuff. He's like the neighborhood grocer." Jake was rambling on in his father's defense because he wanted her to trust him. "Anyway I saw Max's barcode and asked into it."
"Jake you can't do that. Asking questions about us could expose us and will get you killed with all certainty," she half scolded half warned.
"I haven't lived this long and not learned a few tricks. Besides, I got the information through one of Logan's informants. He's a good man," he said trying to put her at ease. He paused for a moment trying to gather the courage for what he was going to ask. "You don't have to answer this but I have to ask...What is it like? I mean with the chips." He regretted having asked as soon as she turned away from him.
"Before today I wouldn't have know how to answer that...but it seems that my head is quiet." She looked back at him to see that puppy look again. "I could turn them back on but I don't know if I should. I don't know what to do. I feel so out of control."
"Why don't you turn them back on?" He asked simply, not having the full story.
"Because if I turn on the programs I can't turn them off." She paused. "This right here is the reason I don't want to. Before I would only be like an observer, analyzing and thinking and interacting but still an observer." She looked deep into his dark brown eyes and the rest just fell out of her mouth. "You make me not want to give that up." Her eyes were filled with shock as she head that come out. "I didn't mean that...I mean I did but I didn't want to say...well I did but...ohh," she feeling frustrated and trapped and pulled the blankets over her face hoping that if she brought them down he would not be there. Her cheeks and heart and well the whole rest of her body was flushed. She was disappointed, but only a little to hear his warm laughter in response. "Please don't laugh," she said rather pathetically. She felt the blanket being pulled down away from her face and she tingled from the feeling it made on her already over sensitized skin. She looked up to find his face only about a foot away from hers.
"You know my mother once told me that I would never see my dream girl if I was looking so hard at computers. I think she would be pleasantly surprised to find herself wrong." Carina looked at him and whined then pulled the covers back over her head.
"Your not allowed to be charming."
"Is it against the rules?" he laughed.
"Most definitely. You have to go now before I do something unadvisable."
"Like what?" He asked curiously
"Either hit you or kiss you, which ever reflex takes over." She said extremely serious about not knowing which reflex would take over. She felt trapped and...well...not so trapped. She felt the sheet being pulled down again and she squeezed her eyes shut trying to refrain from doing anything except bite her lower lip.
"I'll take my chances," Jake said as he brushed her lips with a light kiss. Reluctantly she released her lower lip from her teeth and started to kiss him back. His mouth was so gentle and giving she didn't ever want to stop but something made her. It was panic.
"I'm sorry I can't," She said as she pulled away. She sat up, scooted off the bed, and tried to leave. She only got a foot before the blinding pain hit her again. She cried out and grabbed her head. She began to feel like she was falling when two strong arms picked her up and carried her back to the bed.
A few moments later she felt something cold and wet pressing against her head and she started to feel the pain dull a little. "I'm sorry," she whispered. He hushed her by placing his finger to her lips and continued to wipe her forehead with a cold cloth. He waited until she fell back asleep and then went to go find Logan and Max.
He found Max was still sitting at the kitchen table.
"Max, Carina needs to see a doctor." She responded with a frown. "I know why it's complicated but she's not doing well. She could have a hemorrhage or something and I just have a feeling that she needs help now." Max deliberated in her head for a moment then stood up.
"I'll get Logan."