Sorry it's been so long since I've updated. I'm not to fond of editing but my
beta, Ana, is wonderful so I can't cheat and post it unedited. Come visit me at
forums.delphi.com/darkangelfans/messages it's a great place to chill and they
love newcomers. Oh but Carina is finished there and long since disappeared down
the list. The 2nd and 3rd parts of the trilogy are started but no cheating!!
If you want to light the fire under my butt to get me to post more email me at
moon_pup@hotmail although I'm at the message board above more than I check my
email (hint hint). Okay on with the story. -puppy
Carina 13b
(to stay here with you)
Meanwhile...Jake sat on the operating table with Carina cradled against his
chest. He wanted to hold her tightly and tell her everything was going to be
okay but he was too afraid of hurting her and even more afraid that every thing
wasn't going to be alright. Her head was slumped forward over his arm to keep
the blood from flowing down her throat, and he held a cloth to her face to
collect it. He tried to comfort her the best he could while the doctors tested,
probed, and left without answers. Despite their assurances, Jake could tell that
she was slowly weakening. He tried to reason with himself. Tried to convince
his conscience that what had happened wasn't his fault but as her face got paler
and her breath shallower his feeling of guilt grew stronger.
Inside he couldn't help but think of the irony of the situation. He was holding
a human weapon in his arms, a beautiful, sweet, intelligent girl who could break
him in half. The fact that she was letting him take care of her made him feel
wonderful despite his guilt, at least she didn't blame him. They sat there in
silence and he didn't even realize he had fallen asleep until the movement in
his arms startled him. She turned her head up to look at him. Her green eyes
stood out even more incredibly against her paled skin.
"Jake. You should go get some sleep," she said reluctantly. She didn't really
want him go. The physical warmth he provided was comforting but knowing he was
there, holding her in his arms was making her less afraid.
"Someone needs to stay here with you," he said, grinning slightly. She looked
up at him with unreadable expression but her eyes were warm and there were the
beginnings of a smile on her lips. Suddenly the smile faded and looked away from
him for a second. "Hey," he said shaking her gently, "what is it?" She took a
deep breath and when she exhaled tears were starting to form in her eyes.
"It's just," she stopped and tried to blink away some tears, "You don't deserve
to get dragged into this. It's not fair to you." She said "this" but she meant
"me". The pain of hurting her mother and the years of solitude were easily
explainable, although still a little painful, when the computer in her head was
a voice of reason. Now the voice of "acceptable risk," became doubt. She was
faced with the feeling that maybe she should stay near him because of who she
was. She frowned and looked away from him. "I can't control this. These
emotions and doubts keep popping into my head," her voice cracked a little as
she talked. "I don't know what to do. It's like two voices arguing but never
concluding. I just want an objective," she concluded.
"You're just a mere mortal like the rest of us now. It sucks." He scrambled for
something else to help. "Just try for something simple, like getting better."
She looked at him with a flicker of hope in her eyes. "Carina, I might not have
picked what happened, but now that I've met you I wouldn't have given it up for
the world. I might have installed a different program on Logan's computer but I
don't regret anything else." He leaned down a placed a kiss on her forehead.
"You seem to have stopped bleeding, I'm going to go see what the doctor's have
to say." Jake looked up and through the glass at the three figures of Logan,
Max, and Sebastian. He froze as he saw the worried look on the two men's faces
and the tears in Max's eyes. "Oh God, please don't let it be that bad," he
thought to himself.
"What is it?" Carina asked when she felt him tense up.
"Nothing." He pulled off a smile and lifted her body gently and he slid off the
table and set her back down. He grabbed a sheet from near by and placed over
her, carefully tucking it around her small frame. He brushed her hair behind her
ear and kissed her cheek. "Get some sleep will ya," he said, smiling. She
nodded and her turned away letting his smile drop. "please don't let it be that
bad," he repeat to himself. "I'll do whatever you want"
As he walked out the door he regretted leaving her, but from the solemn faces he
saw through the glass he knew a prognosis had been reached. The tension in him
built as he walked around the operating room to Sebastian's office. He had to
remind himself to breathe as he turned the corner and three pairs of eyes
confronted to him.
beta, Ana, is wonderful so I can't cheat and post it unedited. Come visit me at
forums.delphi.com/darkangelfans/messages it's a great place to chill and they
love newcomers. Oh but Carina is finished there and long since disappeared down
the list. The 2nd and 3rd parts of the trilogy are started but no cheating!!
If you want to light the fire under my butt to get me to post more email me at
moon_pup@hotmail although I'm at the message board above more than I check my
email (hint hint). Okay on with the story. -puppy
Carina 13b
(to stay here with you)
Meanwhile...Jake sat on the operating table with Carina cradled against his
chest. He wanted to hold her tightly and tell her everything was going to be
okay but he was too afraid of hurting her and even more afraid that every thing
wasn't going to be alright. Her head was slumped forward over his arm to keep
the blood from flowing down her throat, and he held a cloth to her face to
collect it. He tried to comfort her the best he could while the doctors tested,
probed, and left without answers. Despite their assurances, Jake could tell that
she was slowly weakening. He tried to reason with himself. Tried to convince
his conscience that what had happened wasn't his fault but as her face got paler
and her breath shallower his feeling of guilt grew stronger.
Inside he couldn't help but think of the irony of the situation. He was holding
a human weapon in his arms, a beautiful, sweet, intelligent girl who could break
him in half. The fact that she was letting him take care of her made him feel
wonderful despite his guilt, at least she didn't blame him. They sat there in
silence and he didn't even realize he had fallen asleep until the movement in
his arms startled him. She turned her head up to look at him. Her green eyes
stood out even more incredibly against her paled skin.
"Jake. You should go get some sleep," she said reluctantly. She didn't really
want him go. The physical warmth he provided was comforting but knowing he was
there, holding her in his arms was making her less afraid.
"Someone needs to stay here with you," he said, grinning slightly. She looked
up at him with unreadable expression but her eyes were warm and there were the
beginnings of a smile on her lips. Suddenly the smile faded and looked away from
him for a second. "Hey," he said shaking her gently, "what is it?" She took a
deep breath and when she exhaled tears were starting to form in her eyes.
"It's just," she stopped and tried to blink away some tears, "You don't deserve
to get dragged into this. It's not fair to you." She said "this" but she meant
"me". The pain of hurting her mother and the years of solitude were easily
explainable, although still a little painful, when the computer in her head was
a voice of reason. Now the voice of "acceptable risk," became doubt. She was
faced with the feeling that maybe she should stay near him because of who she
was. She frowned and looked away from him. "I can't control this. These
emotions and doubts keep popping into my head," her voice cracked a little as
she talked. "I don't know what to do. It's like two voices arguing but never
concluding. I just want an objective," she concluded.
"You're just a mere mortal like the rest of us now. It sucks." He scrambled for
something else to help. "Just try for something simple, like getting better."
She looked at him with a flicker of hope in her eyes. "Carina, I might not have
picked what happened, but now that I've met you I wouldn't have given it up for
the world. I might have installed a different program on Logan's computer but I
don't regret anything else." He leaned down a placed a kiss on her forehead.
"You seem to have stopped bleeding, I'm going to go see what the doctor's have
to say." Jake looked up and through the glass at the three figures of Logan,
Max, and Sebastian. He froze as he saw the worried look on the two men's faces
and the tears in Max's eyes. "Oh God, please don't let it be that bad," he
thought to himself.
"What is it?" Carina asked when she felt him tense up.
"Nothing." He pulled off a smile and lifted her body gently and he slid off the
table and set her back down. He grabbed a sheet from near by and placed over
her, carefully tucking it around her small frame. He brushed her hair behind her
ear and kissed her cheek. "Get some sleep will ya," he said, smiling. She
nodded and her turned away letting his smile drop. "please don't let it be that
bad," he repeat to himself. "I'll do whatever you want"
As he walked out the door he regretted leaving her, but from the solemn faces he
saw through the glass he knew a prognosis had been reached. The tension in him
built as he walked around the operating room to Sebastian's office. He had to
remind himself to breathe as he turned the corner and three pairs of eyes
confronted to him.