A/N I do not own anything to do with Star Wars, seeing as how I am not George Lucas. Reviews are always lovely things. :)
STAR WARS
EPISODE II
ATTACK OF THE COPIES
The Republic sucks. Lots of
Planets are quiting from it.
Some dud named COUNT DOOKU
says he's cooler and the Planets
should join with him.
Spider man sucks!. . .
(Cut to Audience)
Audience: Oh #&($! this is NOT a good sign.
(We open up to Padme Amidalas ship, cruising into Coruscant)
Captain Typho: ( looks just like Panaka, only has three eyes) My lady, we shall we in port soon.
(Male guard stares confused at him)
Guard: Uh. . . good!
( Padme comes walking out, sporting a lovely bear and mustache)
Padme: Hello captain.
Typho: ( gives guard a dirty look) It appears we were all concerned for naught.
( At that an assasin comes out and shoots Captain Typho)
Padme: ( picking up gun) I'll show you!
( She shoots herself)
Assasin: Cool.
( Jumps out of ship, which crashes into a nearby building on Corscant. Next door the real Padme Amidala, who does not have a beard and mustache, looks up from her massage)
Padme: Oh no the assasin missed me again and killed my decoy! ( snickers)
Typho: My lady, I would believe it wise to leave now.
( We see Padme's massager, a ghost shadow of Qui-Gon Jinn)
Qui-Gon: ( looks at camera) Well, this was what I always wanted to do for a career anyway.
Padme: Really?
Qui-Gon: ( ponders for a moment) I don't sense anything.
( Padme and Typho leave, disgusted)
Padme: ( looks around outside) Dude, where's my ship?
Typho: I dunno. I think it went bye-bye.
( N'Sync comes running out, begins performing song Bye, bye,bye)
Padme: Oh my God! N'Sync!
( Cut to audience)
Audience: WHAT THE &$**()& IS THIS?
( George Lucas comes out)
Lucas: Hey! I make Star Wars for the fans, not for the critics!
Audience: George, we ARE the fans!
George: (grins sheepishly) Oh yeah, I forgot
(Cut back to movie: we are now inside Chancellor Palpatine's quarters)
Palpatine: I don't know how much longer I can hold off the Seperatists my friends. ( giggles)
Mace Windu: Dude, we Jedi can kick butt, though we are not supposed to.
Palpatine: What do you think Master Yoda?
(Yoda closes eyes, see strange vision of himself and Windu doing the chicken dance)
Yoda: Er. . . impossible to see, the future is. ( looks away)
Palpatine: Er, sure. What about Count Dooku?
Windu: Dooky the Wookie?
Palpatine:( looking genuinely shocked) Excuse me?
Windu: Er, nothing. Personal joke. ( tries not to laugh)
( At this point Padme comes charging in)
Palpatine: Hello my lady, how are you?
Padme: Dude, are you mental? I just nearly got killed again.
Palpatine: Oh, I would not want that. . . er, dud. ( Pretends to look concerned)
Typho: ( ignores Palpatine's response) We think her lady needs protection.
Padme: Hey, I'm not a wimp! ( grabs Typho and throws him through the window)
( All the Jedi and Palpatine stare, apparantly impressed)
Yoda: Bad feeling about this, I have.
( Cut to Audience)
Audience: Me too.