A/N I do not own anything to do with Star Wars, seeing as how I am not George Lucas. Reviews are always lovely things. :)

(Obi-Wan comes walking in to training room where Yoda is training younglings)

Yoda: What help can I be, Master Obi-Wan?

Obi-Wan: I need some help,Master Yoda. I have lost something.

Yoda: (looks worried) Lost your pants again, you have not?

( Younglings giggle at this)

Obi-Wan: No! I need to find the planet Kamino.

Yoda: Who told you of this?

Obi-Wan: I don't really know. It was this random,strange fellow who I seemed to know for some reason.

Yoda: Ah, it always is.

( Sees Hael Joel Osmant looking as one of the younglings, looking concerned)

Yoda: What is it, younling?

Osmant: I see dead Jedi.

( Ghost of Qui-Gon is standing next to him)

Obi-Wan: Master?

Qui-Gon: ( looks around his transparent self) I don't sense anything.

( Obi-Wan and Yoda exchange disgusted looks)

( Meanwhile, we see Anakin and Padme traveling to Naboo)

Padme: ( looks around) It was so good of your master to let you come with me for protection.

Anakin: Oh sure. I mean, it's not like he doesn't know I'm here. ( looks away)

( R2-D2 rolls by, making an unbelieving sound)

Padme: I guess it must be tough swearing your life to the Jedi. Not being able to do the things you like.

Anakin: Or be with the people that I love.

Padme: ( rolls her eyes) Ani, your mom doesn't count.

Anakin: Hey! Don't call me Ani! ( loses temper, swings out lightsaber again)

(Padme karate chops him once again, beats him up)

Nearby woman passenger: I NEED some of that.

( Meanwhile, Obi-Wan has arrived on Kamino, greeted by tall, white alien)

Tall, white alien: Welcome Jedi Master. Your master, the Dark Lord of the Sith Sifo-Dyas, told us to expect you.

Obi-Wan: ( laughs politely) I'm sorry madame, there is no Dark Lord of the Sith named Sifo-Dyas.

( Out walking comes Jango Fett, wearing full Mandalorian armor and a shirt that says I hate Jedi)

Jango: Oh &%%&$*(&#! ( runs off)

Obi-Wan: Hey! I saw that! Get back here!

( Chases Jango into a room filled with Clone Troopers)

Obi-Wan: Have any of you seen a guy in Madalorian Armor?

( They all point to a Gamerron guard in a nearby corner)

Obi-Wan: I do not believe that is him.

( Outside Jango Fett and Boba take off in their ship)

Obi-Wan: ( sees them escape) Blast, I got hosed!

( All the clones crack up simultaneously; Obi-Wan looks seriously pissed off)

( Meanwhile, Anakin and Padme have landed on Naboo and are meeting with the Queen)

Queen: We must continue to rely on the Republic I suppose.

Random old guy from Episode 1: It's unthinkable.

Padme: What is?

Random old guy from Episode 1: I'm not sure.

Anakin: ( rolls his eyes, mutters under his breath) No wonder the Trade Federation took over this planet. What a bunch of losers. I don't get what Padme sees in them.

Queen: What was that master Jedi?

Anakin: Er. . . I was just thinking aloud about the Republic.

Padme: ( laughs) Oh Anakin's not a Jedi yet, he's still learning.

Anakin: ( trys to remain cool) Oh rest assured, my lady, I am as capable as one.

Padme: ( rolls her eyes) Whatever you say Ani.

( This pushes Anakin over the edge)

Anakin: All right, that's it! How many times do I have to tell you to NOT CALL ME ANI!

(Queen, Random old guy, and other random people start to run off)

Padme: ( sighs) Not again! ( beats Anakin up, mutters under her breath Snot-nosed brat.)

Queen: ( to assistant) Why exactly did she stop being Queen?

( Cut to Anakin and Padme walking out on a covered deck, where, for some reason, Padme had stripped down to only a bikini)

Anakin: ( feels sand) I don't like sand.

Padme: I didn't ask you if you did, you dolt! I said this is a nice place.

Anakin: It's only nice because you make it nice. ( gives her innocent, hoping look)

Padme: ( now looks pissed off) Are you saying I turn myself on?

Anakin: ( suddenly wakes up) Uh, no!I just mean, uh,. . .

( Grabs Padme into a big, dramatic kiss)

Padme: ( socks Anakin in the gut) Great. Could this situation get any worse?

( A nearby voice is whistling; Anakin and Padme turn to see the ghost of Qui-Gon)

Qui-Gon: Attaboy Anakin! ( looks down slightly) I was never able to get it on, though I tried-

( Notices Anakin and Padme now both shooting him death looks,comes to his senses)

Qui-Gon: Er. . . bye!

( Disappears )

Padme: ( suddenly turns stupid, runs across grassy field) You're making fun of me, Anakin!

Anakin: ( runs after her, continually tripping over stones) No I would be much too afraid to tease a senator!

( The two collapse down, soundly air is filled with The Sound of Music. The two turn to see Obi-Wan singing on top of a hill)

Anakin: Master?

Obi-Wan: Crap! ( runs off)

Padme: Uh, who was that?

Anakin: Ah, it was my master's alter ego, Ewan McGregor.

Padme: ( suddenly becomes smart again) What the hell am I doing? I need to get out of this place!

Anakin: Where shall we go?

Padme: How about Tatooine?

Anakin: Sure. Why there?

Padme: Oh, so you can see your mother of course. ( mutters under her breath) And so I can dump you off you loser.