A/N I don't own anything related to Star Wars, etc. Reviews are always nice things.

(Cut to Obi-Wan chasing Jango through an asteriod field)

Jango: (to Boba) This guy doesn't quit does he?

(Fires big lasers at Obi-Wan, which miss and hit flying potato in asteriod field)

Jango: All right, this guy asked for it.

( Starts dropping out Tellitubbies from the back of his ship)

Obi-Wan: Geeze, this guy's brutal.

( Follows Jango, lands on Hoth)

Obi-Wan: ( looks around barren landscape) What the hell is he going to do here?

Jango: ( yells out of Slave I taking off) Sucker!

Obi-Wan: Blast! I got hosed again!

( Meanwhile Anakin and Padme land on Tatooine, where they meet Watto)

Watto: ( sees Anakin) What do you want boy?

( Notices Padme and her outfit)

Watto: Ah, now I see. How much you want for her boy?

( Padme looks extremely pissed off over this comment; Anakin quickly intervenes)

Anakin: ( grabs Watto by neck) WHERE'S MOMMY?! ( seems to rethink comment) Er. . . where's my mother?!

Watto: Who the hell are you?

Anakin: (suddenly notices the machine Watto is working on) Hold on, I'll fix this.

( Starts to work on it, is electrocuted and flies across sandy road; Padme groans in annoyance)

Watto: ( suddenly looks happy) Ani?! Only you would be so stupid! Ha!

Anakin: ( comes back, mushing down fried hair) Where's my mother?

Watto: I dunno. Let me check. ( pulls out rare copy of Lucas's Episode II: Attack of the Copies script) Ah, I see. She's living with some dude named Lars.

( Lucas and the film crew come out on screen; Watto sees them and starts to run)

Lucas: Halt! Stop him! Don't let him get away! He's got my script! ( crew and Lucas tackle Watto, start beating him up)

( Anakin and Padme quickly leave)

( They arrive at the Lars' residence)

Owen: Hi. I'm Owen. I guess that means that we're brothers.

Anakin: Where's my mother?

Owen: ( walks off muttering) Idealistic fool.Should have stayed a slave and lived the good life.

( Anakin and Padme look befuddled over this; Cliegg Lars comes flying out on hovercraft)

Anakin: Where's my mother? I'm starting to get impatient. ( starts fingering lightsaber)

Cliegg: (looks a bit worried) Er. . . the Tusken Raiders took her.

Anakin: ( yells out into the horizon) Don't worry Mommy, I'm coming! ( jumps onto suddenly appearing speeder bike, takes off)

Padme: ( simply shrugs at Cliegg)

( Meanwhile,Obi-Wan follows Jango Fett to Geneosis. He discovers a secret headquarters where he hears Dooku and Nute Gunay talking)

Gunray: And the senator from Naboo, is she dead?

Dooku: Of course. Here's her head. ( pulls out a Wookie head)

Gunray: Hmmm, I don't recall her being so hairy but okay! I'll sign the treaty.

Dooku: Good. ( While Gunray turns back, he throw head away, mutters Stupid Neimodian.)

( Obi-Wan looks rather worried, starts to get out of there, when reprehended by Lucas)

Lucas: You there! Halt! You can't escape! It say so in the script!

Obi-Wan: Screw the script! I'm getting the hell out of here!

(Starts to run, gets captured by passing Jawa)

Jawa: Ootinie! ( grabs Obi-Wan, beats him up, drags him over to prison room)

Obi-Wan: I'm really having a bad day.

( Meanwhile Anakin sneaks into a Tusken Camp)

Anakin: ( sees his mother) Mom! ( runs over to her)

Woman: Who are you?

Anakin: It's me mom. Anakin.

( Doesn't seem to notice his real mom lying next to the woman, suddenly stirring)

Shmi: Ani? Is that you?

Anakin: ( ignores Shmi) Don't worry Mom, I'll get you out of here!

( Woman dies; Shmi dies of fright; Anakin looks confused)

Anakin: I had two moms? And they're both dead?!

( Looks very angry, goes outside and starts chopping up Tusken Raiders)

( Meanwhile, Yoda has a distressful vision)

Windu: What is it Master Yoda?

Yoda:Strange desire to go kick Tusken Raider butt I have.

Windu: ( shrugs) It must just be stress.

( Back at Geneosis, Obi-Wan is levetating in an energy field when Count Dooku comes in)

Obi-Wan: What's going on here Dooku?

Dooku: Oh,you mean how I've got huge droid armies on my side, I'm about to start a civil war in the galaxy, and my master, Darth Sidious, is actually Chancellor Palpatine, who is using the whole scenario to take control of the Republic and rule the galaxy?

Obi-Wan: ( laughs) What's really going on?

Dooku: ( looks a bit confused at this reaction) Uh. . . the Republic is under the control of the Dark Lord of the Sith?

Obi-Wan: No way. The Jedi would be able to find out.

Dooku: Ah, but the Dark Lord Sauron- er, Sidious, is mysterious. ( looks straight at Obi-Wan) You must join me Obi-Wan and together. . . we will destroy the Sith!

Obi-Wan: You've got to be kidding me! You drop Tellitubbies on me, dump me on Hoth,and then let a Jawa beat me up?! I'm pissed off!

Dooku: Good. Anger is the path to the dark side after all.

Obi-Wan: ( suddenly gets mischievious look) You would know, wouldn't you DOOKY?

Dooku: ( looks very annoyed suddenly) Shut up.

Obi-Wan: ( softly sings, grinnning the whole time) Dooky, Dooky, he's such a wookie!

Dooku: That's it!

( Out comes a group of Urk-Hai)

Obi-Wan: What the hell are these things?
Dooku: ( smiles) Just something I picked up in my day job.Have fun.

( Walks out, finds table with palantatir on it, starts to use it)

Dooku: ( mutters) The commmand of Geneiosis is at your hand, my lord.

(An image of a dark hood appears in the sphere)

Voice of Sidious: Build me an army, worthy of the Sith!

( Disappears, in comes a couple of battle droids)

Battle Droid #1: What news from Coruscant my lord? What does the hood command?

Dooku: We have work to do.

( Cut to Audience)

Peter Jackson: (stands up straight) HOLD ON A SECOND THERE LUCAS! No way! THIS is way too coincidental!

( Lucas appears)

Lucas: Ha! Star Wars rules!

Jackson: Lord of the Ring rules!

Lucas: STAR WARS!

Jackson: LORD OF THE RINGS!

Audience: ( sounds slightly worried) Uh, can we just get back to the movie?

( Movie begins again with Lucas and Jackson starting to duke it out)

( Cut to Anakin, returning to the Lars' residence)

Anakin: ( starts crying) Mommy's dead!

Padme: Well what the hell did you expect? The Lars told you she was.

Anakin: I killed them.( starts crying harder)

Padme: ( looks extremely annoyed) Killed who?

Anakin: I killed a bunch of Tusken Raiders.

Padme: ( kicks him in the head, walks off shaking her head, disgruntled) How did I ever get stuck with this loser?

( Lucas comes out, waves Padme's paycheck in front of her face)

Padme: ( sighs) Oh yeah, right.