Seven: Little White Lie

Serena, Amy, and Raye were walking to the mall. To be more precise, Serena and Amy were walking while Raye was stomping. She paused and turned around. Serena and Amy continued on, oblivious that their friend had stopped. Raye was glaring at a certain young Chinese that was following them. He also paused and pretended to be looking elsewhere. Raye continued walking and he continued following. There was another pause a few seconds later, and another, and another. Each time Raye would glance over her shoulder; Wufei would raise his eyes to the air or the ground in attempt to look innocent. Quatre appeared and watched the scene unfold with interest. He shook his head, smiling. The quartet disappeared around a corner. Duo showed up and eyed Quatre curiously.

"Hey, Quatre. What ya lookin' at?"

"Wufei was just following Miss Raye and you should've seen her: she give him a look that could've cooled off a moose at mating time." The two laughed at this observation.

"I wonder what he did?"

"I don't know, but I'd hate to be him right now."

"Yeah, ditto." Quatre noticed that there was something wrong with his friend.

"Is there something wrong, Duo?"

"Nah, not really. Just something I've known all along."

"Oh. Lita and Trowa, right?"

"Bingo." Quatre cringed sympathetically. "I don't know why I'm so upset. I mean, I don't know her all that well. I guess I just didn't want Trowa to beat me at finding a girl."

"There are plenty of other girls out there. You just have to keep looking."

"Hey, if you're suggesting I date Hilde again, you can just forget it!" Quatre laughed and patted his friend on the shoulder.

"I know. I know. Well, you shouldn't really give up on Lita. Trowa just doesn't seem like her type of guy, you know what I mean? You may still have a chance." Duo brightened up at this.

"Hey! I haven't thought of that! Yeah! You're right, Quatre! Thanks!" Duo grinned and ran off, leaving poor Quatre by himself in his confusion.

======

Heero didn't really like going behind Relena's back, but he didn't have much of a choice. There was only one thing he was truly good at and… well, he had to make money somehow. He wasn't the only one that did this line of work so at the very least he wasn't alone. With him tonight were several of the best mercenaries in this part of the world: Argie the Odd, Slippery Matt, Rusky Chucky, Hans the Hamler, and so on. Of course these weren't their real names, but no one in this line of business ever used their real names. They were meeting to discuss their next mission, when a policeman burst onto the scene.

"Well, well, well. An interesting gathering indeed!" he scoffed. This particular cop had given Heero some trouble in the past; he cautiously watched every move. The cop, named Lieutenant Brodigan, twirled his club around and pointed the end at each felon as he named them. "Argie the Odd! Slippery Matt! Rusky Chucky!" He took huge strides and held out his hand to the next felon. "Hans the Hamler! All the way from Tokyo! How's it goin', man? How's it goin'?" He turned to another, who was being unusually quiet.

Heero felt chills running up his spine. This was none other than Bud Jugge, one of the best, if not the best mercenary he knew. Bud stood there looking important and a bit on the scraggly side. A cigar was stuck in his mouth. Occasionally he would take it out and tap off the ash.

"And… pardon me," Lt. Brodigan continued, "I'm very bad on names, but your face looks familiar. Mind telling me where you're from?" Bud Jugge stared at the lieutenant calmly. He took out his cigar and tapped off the ash.

"East Sissaro, Japan." He readied the cigar to put it back in his mouth.

"And what is it that you do there?"

"I'm a scout's master," he replied coldly.

"Well, don't ever help my mother across the street." The lieutenant smiled at his own bad attempt at a joke. "You guys look like a male chorus from blossom time. What's the occasion?"

"Uh… it's a party!" Argie the Odd chirped. Lt. Brodigan stared at him doubtfully.

"Indeed? What kind of party?" As luck would have it, Relena showed up that very instant.

"Uh… it's a bachelor dinner! Heero's getting married!" Argie replied, grabbing Relena by the arm. The poor girl nearly jumped out of her skin.

"WHAT?!" she shrieked. Heero-- poor, poor Heero-- looked about as lost and confused as he could possibly be.

"That's correct, lieutenant, a bachelor dinner," Hans the Hamler confirmed. "Heero's getting married!" The small group sang "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow" while Heero stood there, helpless. Relena was absolutely beaming in delight.

"Oh, Heero! I'm so happy! Why didn't you tell me?"

"It was a surprise," he muttered, ushering her away from the group.

"Oh. But when I saw you here with all of these…," she gave the mercenaries a brief glance, "… fine gentlemen, I never dreamed it was a bachelor dinner. I thought it was…"

"Oh, it was a bachelor dinner!" Heero assured her, cutting her off just in time.

"Yes, sir, a bachelor dinner," Argie the Odd agreed.

"Gee, just think," sighed Relena with a dreamy look on her face. "After four years I'm finally going to become Mrs. Heero Yuy… Time certainly does fly!"

"So when's the happy day, Heero?" Lt. Brodigan asked.

"When will it be, Heero?" Relena echoed.

"Uh…" Heero bit his lower lip. He was really in a jam now.

"Heero, these guys were good enough to throw you a bachelor dinner," Lt. Brodigan said, indicating the mercenaries. "The least you can do is tell them when the date is."

"We need time for our license… and our blood test," Heero grumbled.

"Gee, wouldn't it be great if we could get married tomorrow night?" Relena suggested.

"But Relena! We need time for our blood test!" Heero whined.

"You could elope," Lt. Brodigan suggested. Heero's face fell.

"What?"

"You could drive down to that one town. They'll marry you up right away. They don't ask for a blood test."

"Ain't that unhealthy?" Heero groaned, trying to find any excuse to get out of this very bad situation.

"Heero, it's a great idea. Elope! I'll lend you my get-away…," Hans began. He paused and glanced over at the lieutenant. He coughed to fill up the pause. "My Buick."

"Oh, Heero, let's do it!" Relena insisted.

"What the hell!" Heero sighed, throwing up his hands in defeat. The mercenaries came up and congratulated him. Lt. Brodigan came up and shook his hand.

"My congratulations too, Heero. I just hope there's nothing in heredity." He tipped his hat to Relena and left.

"Heero, I've got so much to do before we elope," Relena sighed. "You'll be at our restaurant, won't you?"

"Sure. I'll have a table reserved and I'll be all dressed up in… whatever you elope in." Hell, I'm already deep enough. I might as well go with it, he thought with a helpless shrug.

"Okay, then. Good-bye!" She kissed him and cheerfully left their company. The guys rolled their eyes at each other. Heero stood there, his eye twitching in annoyance. Why me? his brain kept asking. Why me? Why me?

======

Lita and Mina sat together having tea and waiting for the others to get back to shopping. Lita had just finished explaining all that had happened on her "date" with Duo and was quietly waiting for Mina to react. Mina swirled her cup of tea around and watched the liquid move. She frowned thoughtfully.

"So Duo wasn't upset?"

"It didn't seem like it to me."

"Well, if I were him I'd be pretty upset. No offense, Lita, but it was fairly cold of you to push him away like that." Lita sighed and nodded her head in agreement.

"I know. I just needed to be honest with him."

" 'Honesty is the best property', as they say," Mina shrugged.

"I think you mean 'honesty is the best policy'."

"Whatever."

"Do you think I should have done that?"

"I'm as bad with guys as you are, Lita! Don't ask me for advice!" The two girls laughed. Lita took a sip of tea.

"I hope I did the right thing. I would hate it if I made the wrong decision."

"Yeah. That would suck."

"I just hope Duo won't hate me for not choosing him." Lita's brow furrowed in concern.

"Duo seems too happy-go-lucky to hold a grudge, even for something like that," Mina shrugged.

"Yeah…"

Author's note: Okay, that scene with Heero and the mercenaries was just too good to resist. Yes, that did come directly from Guys and Dolls. I hope everyone that has seen that show enjoyed that little part.