Title: Grab Thy Hand
By: foggynite, foggynite@hotmail.com
Fandom: Forever Kingdom
Pairing: Darius/Ruyan
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Beginnings.
Spoilers: Set Pre-Game, None
Archive: Ask and ye shall receive. Take if you want it.
Website: http://yaoihaven.net/foggynite
Author's Note/Disclaimer: They belong to AgeTec/Software, not me. I came
up with a name for Ruyan's father, since it's never addressed in the game.
I.
"Darius! Wait up!"
But Darius didn't want to wait, didn't want to be followed by this gawky, soft spoken boy who was trying so hard to be his friend it was laughable, so he ran faster, through the mud and high grass, towards the forest line. He could hear the other boy panting as he tried to keep up, and Darius didn't want to talk to him, didn't want to see him. Didn't want to be here, and the trees were around him now, gawky like Ruyan, and it took him too long to find a good climbing tree because the other boy was getting closer, so he grabbed at the nearest branch he could reach, and hung there for a second.
"Please, Darius," Ruyan gasped between breaths. "Please come back. I promise nobody will talk about it again--
Ignoring him, Darius swung a leg up to hook over the branch. Ruyan was only a year younger than him, but at eight, Darius was too old to want to play pretend soldiers anymore. Ruyan thought everything could be solved by running off to lose himself in his dream world, but Darius knew pretend was for babies, and soldiers weren't fun, not anymore.
"Please come down, Darius-"
"Go away."
And the tree was too tall for Ruyan to reach the branches, but not for Darius, who had grown that summer, so he pulled himself up quickly through the foliage, his tanned frame straining for each branch, holding on just barely. Ruyan would pout, he knew, would maybe stand at the bottom for hours trying to reason with him, but he could ignore the pleading as long as he was untouchable in his nest. His nest in this foreign world, and he missed the trees back home, trees that had shade year round and you could lose yourself in the branches and his arms couldn't reach around the trunk like these toothpick trees of Seclue and he just wanted to be home.
"He didn't mean anything by it, anyway. Sarin's always been a jerk, and he doesn't think before he talks, and I wasn't laughing at you, honest-"
"Go away!"
He didn't want to talk to Ruyan, perfect, beautiful Ruyan with his girly lips and lashes that no one picked on him for, who was smarter than Darius and knew how to read, and had a father who adored him and showered him with gifts, and was trying to make friends with the little orphan boy who invaded his world, and Darius didn't need his pity, his duty, for friendship. Darius didn't need any of this, and--
Some of the trees branches were dead, brittle and crumbling beneath his hands. His shock of white hair whipped into his eyes, obscuring his view of the ground, but he knew it was looming closer because his stomach lurched, flipped over like when his father had thrown him over the courtyard wall, and the desperation not to leave, not to run, came back, had him scrambling mutely for anything to hold on to, anything to keep himself from leaving, because he couldn't, not again, and father was fighting the soldiers, the clang of swords was above his head, and he couldn't see, couldn't see them anymore, and the ground-
Was hard as he landed, right arm first, his elbow being jammed back into his rib cage with a sickening crack, and all the air left him. His hair might still have been in his face, because all he could see was white, white that turned to red, and the feeling came rushing back into his body, his ears ringing, pounding in time with his heart, and he couldn't hear anything, just lay there seeing red and trying to breathe.
II.
He stoked the fire with more dry tinder, watching the shower of embers float away into the night sky like blazing red stars, and laid back contentedly, settling down against his cloak and bed roll, head propped up by his satchel. Ruyan broke off his recitation of the restorative powers of calming fruit, and twisted his neck to stare over at him with feigned indignation.
"You're not even listening, are you?"
"Do I ever?" Darius kept a straight face as Ruyan's eyes widened, his pink mouth opening to retaliate but clamping shut as Darius flicked a nearby mushroom towards it.
"Hey!" Grabbing up the mushroom, Ruyan stared at it speculatively and then tossed it back at him. "You know, when powdered and added to comfrey root for a poultice, that mushroom can be used to-Mphfff-"
Darius leaned back after a moment, enjoying the shocked silence of his companion. Finally opening his eyes, Ruyan blinked myopically at him and flicked his tongue out to taste his lips.
"You just-" His voice cracked for the first time in a while, and he blushed hard enough for it to be seen in the firelight. Darius continued to regard him steadily, amused at his distress.
"Why? Wha--? I mean, we're-and-"
Darius let himself smile. Ruyan opened and closed his mouth a few more times. Then frowned.
"You said we're supposed to be collecting herbs for Faeana here, Darius, and-"
"I lied," he said calmly.
"What?" Ruyan shook his head, confused.
Darius leaned forward again and looked him straight in the eye. "I. Lied."
And kissed him again.
III.
"Darius."
His head was being supported by bony knees, which was really uncomfortable, but as long as he didn't try to breathe, didn't try to move, he would be okay, and he thought he might be sick and he didn't want to throw up in front of this boy-
"Darius, please-Say something, anything-- I heard-"
His breath came back with a painful squelching noise, and he ground his teeth to keep from crying out, from showing anything, and it was that night all over again, except no one had been there when he fell, they were all dead or fighting, and damn this war, and there were tears leaking out of his eyes that he couldn't seem to stop, but his teeth were grinding hard enough to distract him from the pain emerging out of his ribs and his arm, stupid tree, stupid old tree that wasn't even a real tree, not like the ones at home-
"Can you move? We need to get-- Right now-- There's something wrong with your arm and-"
Ruyan, tiny Ruyan with his mop of red hair, trying not to cry or panic, and Darius realized he had to get up, had to be okay, because Ruyan would feel guilty about this for months if Darius let him, and the other boy was too nice for that because all he had wanted was to be friends. So with a groan, Darius tried to sit up, had to stop and roll over into a ball when his bones protested, and he looked at his right arm because he couldn't really feel his fingers, which he should have been able to, but there was bone poking out and blood and-
Oh. Oh. That's why Ruyan was getting hysterical.
"-should be some elixir in the kitchen because Dad always keeps some there, but we'll have to-have to walk and-and I don't know-"
The other boy looked glassy eyed and pale, and Darius was hurting, his heart starting to pound even harder once he saw his arm, but he crawled to his feet anyway, right arm dangling uselessly while the left cradled his ribs.
"Come on, Ruyan," Darius tried to urge the boy to stand, because he couldn't pull him up and he probably needed to see an actual healer soon and he was getting dizzy and swaying, but then Ruyan was there, holding his left elbow, steadying him. Staying.
IV.
Staring back at him, Ruyan started to smile, too.
The smile turned into laughter, which continued until Darius thought he might have broken his best friend, but then the lithe body was pressed firmly against him. Heat and soft and hard, and he didn't try to speak, just held tighter to the hips rolling against his thigh and the thin bones, delicate, graceful bones so different from his own sturdy frame. And there was laughter still in Ruyan's mouth, laughter and smiles and love, and Darius swallowed it down, let his tongue drink greedily of his friend's giving mouth, sucking Ruyan's air into his own lungs, drinking his scent, his taste, his feel.
And Ruyan wasn't laughing anymore, but moaning as his hips made little bucking motions and Darius took those into himself as well, swallowing the whimpers and groans, and this was his realm, the physical, the touch of flesh on flesh but not to wound, not now, and he robbed Ruyan of his pretty words, of his theories and books, all with the touch of his hand, the slide of his palm down a slick back, over the knobs of his spine. Let his touch tell all the secrets he dare not say, giving over the truth in the red firelight.
Pulling back, Ruyan looked down, kiss-bruised lips half hidden in shadow, and he smiled again, smiled and gave a soft laugh of wonder, of reverence and awe, and the stars faded behind his head as Darius was pulled into his luminescence.
V.
The bed was softer than his old one, with real horsehair instead of long grass, and Darius couldn't decide if he liked it better or not. Just that small admittance felt like a betrayal of everyone, everything, and he distracted himself by staring out his window, which the healer had thoughtfully left open for him. But right now the call of the forest was not a comfort, because he was bed ridden for the next day and bored out of his mind already.
A timid knock on his door made him frown with annoyance. He had heard Ruyan arguing with his father earlier, wanting to come in and pester him, but Darius refused to see him when Parrindar had asked gently if he wanted visitors. And Darius still didn't.
"Go away, Ruyan." It was the most he had said to the boy since they returned to the keep.
"You're stuck here for all of tomorrow, too?" Ruyan asked despondently, face peeking around the door before he entered fully. His hands were hidden behind his back and of course he ignored Darius' command.
Darius just glared and hoped he'd get the point.
"Look, I-" Bringing his hands around front, Ruyan revealed a well-worn book, the edges of the leather cover tattered. "I thought-"
"You thought what?" Darius snapped, showing his anger for the first time since getting there. "You already made fun of the stupid boy, and now he's proved how dumb he is by falling out of a little tree, so you'll just come in and make sure he really knows how brainless he is? Well, I do, so thanks and get out."
Grinding his teeth, Darius wished Ruyan would just leave before he did something really stupid like crying in front of him. He'd had a miserable day, and he'd thought Ruyan was nice before this, and he just felt so worthless right then.
"It's not like that, Darius," Ruyan said suddenly, sounding a bit angry himself, and Darius knew Ruyan didn't get angry just like he knew Ruyan didn't purposefully hurt anyone, and that shamed him a little. "I just thought that since this whole reading thing was a big deal to you, I could maybe try to help. But if you don't want me to, fine. I'll go away."
Squaring his thin shoulders and shaking like a leaf, Ruyan turned to leave. Knowing that he had only wanted to help, Darius sighed and called him back.
VI.
Wrapping his arms around the skinny body blanketing his, Darius knew contentment. Shifting sleepily, Ruyan burrowed deeper into his loose embrace, and frowned until Darius pulled the heavy travel blanket over them.
"That's better," the red head mumbled into his neck. They had both crawled back into their clothes, but were too tired to restart the neglected fire.
Smiling, Darius ran his fingers through Ruyan's silk fine hair, staring at the moon through the trees swaying above their camp. He was drifting off to sleep when Ruyan's body tensed, and so his responded in turn.
"What?" He asked, voice rough with sleep.
"I'm going with you, you know," Ruyan said matter-of-factly, raising his head to stare at Darius' carefully blanked face in the moonlight.
"Going where?" The older boy finally asked.
"We're both of age now, Darius. You haven't said anything, but I know what that means, and if you think I don't know what a good bye from you feels like, you're obviously not thinking straight. Therefore, you need me with you."
Studying his best friend's face in the dim light, Darius stroked the pad of his thumb over Ruyan's cheek. "This. This wasn't a good bye."
"No, just something you'd regret not doing if you went off to war to die." Ruyan's eyes were wide, too wide, and Darius knew he was fighting back tears.
"I can't make any promises, Ruy. But Morea, they killed my family. This is just something I need to do." Darius hadn't wanted to say anything to his friend, had refrained from selfishly asking him to come along because he knew Ruyan would say yes and then hate the fighting, the bloodshed. Or maybe it was selfish to ask him to stay home while Darius left, maybe never to come back.
"And I need to be with you, Darius, so I guess it's just something I need to do, too." Placing a light kiss on his neck, Ruyan nuzzled behind his ear. "I said I was going, and I meant it."
"If it's what you want," Darius whispered against his mouth, heart warmed but worried. Ruyan arched against him, working his arms around him to hold him tighter.
"Fae will probably want to come too, but I'm definitely there." Hugging him tight, Ruyan's tone turned teasing. "Besides, who's gonna keep everyone from kicking your ass?"
Darius laughed.
VII.
Expression a bit belligerent, Ruyan stood by the door, waiting for him to speak. Darius fumbled for words.
"I-It's just that everybody back home knew how to read, and my mom was gonna teach me, but-" He broke off, looking away from the other boy, who's face had softened.
"Well, Sarin doesn't know how to read, either, so he has no room to talk." Relaxing his stance, Ruyan came back into the room, shutting the door behind him. Glancing at him, Darius' cheeks flushed with embarrassment and anger at the reminder of the earlier incident, but Ruyan smiled at him mischievously.
"It's okay, I snuck up on him and pushed him in the pig slop while the healer was fixing you."
"Really?" Darius couldn't picture it.
"Yeah, I figure I'll tell Dad that I was defending your honor and all that." With a small grunt of effort, Ruyan pulled himself onto the bed without dropping the book, and sat flipping through it with a look of intense concentration on his young face. "Of course, that means I'll have to hang out in here until you're better."
Still fascinated by all the letters on the book's pages, Darius took a quick glance sideways at him, questioning. In answer, Ruyan just smiled.
"If I go out there without you, he'll kick my butt."
Darius laughed.
Finis.
I.
"Darius! Wait up!"
But Darius didn't want to wait, didn't want to be followed by this gawky, soft spoken boy who was trying so hard to be his friend it was laughable, so he ran faster, through the mud and high grass, towards the forest line. He could hear the other boy panting as he tried to keep up, and Darius didn't want to talk to him, didn't want to see him. Didn't want to be here, and the trees were around him now, gawky like Ruyan, and it took him too long to find a good climbing tree because the other boy was getting closer, so he grabbed at the nearest branch he could reach, and hung there for a second.
"Please, Darius," Ruyan gasped between breaths. "Please come back. I promise nobody will talk about it again--
Ignoring him, Darius swung a leg up to hook over the branch. Ruyan was only a year younger than him, but at eight, Darius was too old to want to play pretend soldiers anymore. Ruyan thought everything could be solved by running off to lose himself in his dream world, but Darius knew pretend was for babies, and soldiers weren't fun, not anymore.
"Please come down, Darius-"
"Go away."
And the tree was too tall for Ruyan to reach the branches, but not for Darius, who had grown that summer, so he pulled himself up quickly through the foliage, his tanned frame straining for each branch, holding on just barely. Ruyan would pout, he knew, would maybe stand at the bottom for hours trying to reason with him, but he could ignore the pleading as long as he was untouchable in his nest. His nest in this foreign world, and he missed the trees back home, trees that had shade year round and you could lose yourself in the branches and his arms couldn't reach around the trunk like these toothpick trees of Seclue and he just wanted to be home.
"He didn't mean anything by it, anyway. Sarin's always been a jerk, and he doesn't think before he talks, and I wasn't laughing at you, honest-"
"Go away!"
He didn't want to talk to Ruyan, perfect, beautiful Ruyan with his girly lips and lashes that no one picked on him for, who was smarter than Darius and knew how to read, and had a father who adored him and showered him with gifts, and was trying to make friends with the little orphan boy who invaded his world, and Darius didn't need his pity, his duty, for friendship. Darius didn't need any of this, and--
Some of the trees branches were dead, brittle and crumbling beneath his hands. His shock of white hair whipped into his eyes, obscuring his view of the ground, but he knew it was looming closer because his stomach lurched, flipped over like when his father had thrown him over the courtyard wall, and the desperation not to leave, not to run, came back, had him scrambling mutely for anything to hold on to, anything to keep himself from leaving, because he couldn't, not again, and father was fighting the soldiers, the clang of swords was above his head, and he couldn't see, couldn't see them anymore, and the ground-
Was hard as he landed, right arm first, his elbow being jammed back into his rib cage with a sickening crack, and all the air left him. His hair might still have been in his face, because all he could see was white, white that turned to red, and the feeling came rushing back into his body, his ears ringing, pounding in time with his heart, and he couldn't hear anything, just lay there seeing red and trying to breathe.
II.
He stoked the fire with more dry tinder, watching the shower of embers float away into the night sky like blazing red stars, and laid back contentedly, settling down against his cloak and bed roll, head propped up by his satchel. Ruyan broke off his recitation of the restorative powers of calming fruit, and twisted his neck to stare over at him with feigned indignation.
"You're not even listening, are you?"
"Do I ever?" Darius kept a straight face as Ruyan's eyes widened, his pink mouth opening to retaliate but clamping shut as Darius flicked a nearby mushroom towards it.
"Hey!" Grabbing up the mushroom, Ruyan stared at it speculatively and then tossed it back at him. "You know, when powdered and added to comfrey root for a poultice, that mushroom can be used to-Mphfff-"
Darius leaned back after a moment, enjoying the shocked silence of his companion. Finally opening his eyes, Ruyan blinked myopically at him and flicked his tongue out to taste his lips.
"You just-" His voice cracked for the first time in a while, and he blushed hard enough for it to be seen in the firelight. Darius continued to regard him steadily, amused at his distress.
"Why? Wha--? I mean, we're-and-"
Darius let himself smile. Ruyan opened and closed his mouth a few more times. Then frowned.
"You said we're supposed to be collecting herbs for Faeana here, Darius, and-"
"I lied," he said calmly.
"What?" Ruyan shook his head, confused.
Darius leaned forward again and looked him straight in the eye. "I. Lied."
And kissed him again.
III.
"Darius."
His head was being supported by bony knees, which was really uncomfortable, but as long as he didn't try to breathe, didn't try to move, he would be okay, and he thought he might be sick and he didn't want to throw up in front of this boy-
"Darius, please-Say something, anything-- I heard-"
His breath came back with a painful squelching noise, and he ground his teeth to keep from crying out, from showing anything, and it was that night all over again, except no one had been there when he fell, they were all dead or fighting, and damn this war, and there were tears leaking out of his eyes that he couldn't seem to stop, but his teeth were grinding hard enough to distract him from the pain emerging out of his ribs and his arm, stupid tree, stupid old tree that wasn't even a real tree, not like the ones at home-
"Can you move? We need to get-- Right now-- There's something wrong with your arm and-"
Ruyan, tiny Ruyan with his mop of red hair, trying not to cry or panic, and Darius realized he had to get up, had to be okay, because Ruyan would feel guilty about this for months if Darius let him, and the other boy was too nice for that because all he had wanted was to be friends. So with a groan, Darius tried to sit up, had to stop and roll over into a ball when his bones protested, and he looked at his right arm because he couldn't really feel his fingers, which he should have been able to, but there was bone poking out and blood and-
Oh. Oh. That's why Ruyan was getting hysterical.
"-should be some elixir in the kitchen because Dad always keeps some there, but we'll have to-have to walk and-and I don't know-"
The other boy looked glassy eyed and pale, and Darius was hurting, his heart starting to pound even harder once he saw his arm, but he crawled to his feet anyway, right arm dangling uselessly while the left cradled his ribs.
"Come on, Ruyan," Darius tried to urge the boy to stand, because he couldn't pull him up and he probably needed to see an actual healer soon and he was getting dizzy and swaying, but then Ruyan was there, holding his left elbow, steadying him. Staying.
IV.
Staring back at him, Ruyan started to smile, too.
The smile turned into laughter, which continued until Darius thought he might have broken his best friend, but then the lithe body was pressed firmly against him. Heat and soft and hard, and he didn't try to speak, just held tighter to the hips rolling against his thigh and the thin bones, delicate, graceful bones so different from his own sturdy frame. And there was laughter still in Ruyan's mouth, laughter and smiles and love, and Darius swallowed it down, let his tongue drink greedily of his friend's giving mouth, sucking Ruyan's air into his own lungs, drinking his scent, his taste, his feel.
And Ruyan wasn't laughing anymore, but moaning as his hips made little bucking motions and Darius took those into himself as well, swallowing the whimpers and groans, and this was his realm, the physical, the touch of flesh on flesh but not to wound, not now, and he robbed Ruyan of his pretty words, of his theories and books, all with the touch of his hand, the slide of his palm down a slick back, over the knobs of his spine. Let his touch tell all the secrets he dare not say, giving over the truth in the red firelight.
Pulling back, Ruyan looked down, kiss-bruised lips half hidden in shadow, and he smiled again, smiled and gave a soft laugh of wonder, of reverence and awe, and the stars faded behind his head as Darius was pulled into his luminescence.
V.
The bed was softer than his old one, with real horsehair instead of long grass, and Darius couldn't decide if he liked it better or not. Just that small admittance felt like a betrayal of everyone, everything, and he distracted himself by staring out his window, which the healer had thoughtfully left open for him. But right now the call of the forest was not a comfort, because he was bed ridden for the next day and bored out of his mind already.
A timid knock on his door made him frown with annoyance. He had heard Ruyan arguing with his father earlier, wanting to come in and pester him, but Darius refused to see him when Parrindar had asked gently if he wanted visitors. And Darius still didn't.
"Go away, Ruyan." It was the most he had said to the boy since they returned to the keep.
"You're stuck here for all of tomorrow, too?" Ruyan asked despondently, face peeking around the door before he entered fully. His hands were hidden behind his back and of course he ignored Darius' command.
Darius just glared and hoped he'd get the point.
"Look, I-" Bringing his hands around front, Ruyan revealed a well-worn book, the edges of the leather cover tattered. "I thought-"
"You thought what?" Darius snapped, showing his anger for the first time since getting there. "You already made fun of the stupid boy, and now he's proved how dumb he is by falling out of a little tree, so you'll just come in and make sure he really knows how brainless he is? Well, I do, so thanks and get out."
Grinding his teeth, Darius wished Ruyan would just leave before he did something really stupid like crying in front of him. He'd had a miserable day, and he'd thought Ruyan was nice before this, and he just felt so worthless right then.
"It's not like that, Darius," Ruyan said suddenly, sounding a bit angry himself, and Darius knew Ruyan didn't get angry just like he knew Ruyan didn't purposefully hurt anyone, and that shamed him a little. "I just thought that since this whole reading thing was a big deal to you, I could maybe try to help. But if you don't want me to, fine. I'll go away."
Squaring his thin shoulders and shaking like a leaf, Ruyan turned to leave. Knowing that he had only wanted to help, Darius sighed and called him back.
VI.
Wrapping his arms around the skinny body blanketing his, Darius knew contentment. Shifting sleepily, Ruyan burrowed deeper into his loose embrace, and frowned until Darius pulled the heavy travel blanket over them.
"That's better," the red head mumbled into his neck. They had both crawled back into their clothes, but were too tired to restart the neglected fire.
Smiling, Darius ran his fingers through Ruyan's silk fine hair, staring at the moon through the trees swaying above their camp. He was drifting off to sleep when Ruyan's body tensed, and so his responded in turn.
"What?" He asked, voice rough with sleep.
"I'm going with you, you know," Ruyan said matter-of-factly, raising his head to stare at Darius' carefully blanked face in the moonlight.
"Going where?" The older boy finally asked.
"We're both of age now, Darius. You haven't said anything, but I know what that means, and if you think I don't know what a good bye from you feels like, you're obviously not thinking straight. Therefore, you need me with you."
Studying his best friend's face in the dim light, Darius stroked the pad of his thumb over Ruyan's cheek. "This. This wasn't a good bye."
"No, just something you'd regret not doing if you went off to war to die." Ruyan's eyes were wide, too wide, and Darius knew he was fighting back tears.
"I can't make any promises, Ruy. But Morea, they killed my family. This is just something I need to do." Darius hadn't wanted to say anything to his friend, had refrained from selfishly asking him to come along because he knew Ruyan would say yes and then hate the fighting, the bloodshed. Or maybe it was selfish to ask him to stay home while Darius left, maybe never to come back.
"And I need to be with you, Darius, so I guess it's just something I need to do, too." Placing a light kiss on his neck, Ruyan nuzzled behind his ear. "I said I was going, and I meant it."
"If it's what you want," Darius whispered against his mouth, heart warmed but worried. Ruyan arched against him, working his arms around him to hold him tighter.
"Fae will probably want to come too, but I'm definitely there." Hugging him tight, Ruyan's tone turned teasing. "Besides, who's gonna keep everyone from kicking your ass?"
Darius laughed.
VII.
Expression a bit belligerent, Ruyan stood by the door, waiting for him to speak. Darius fumbled for words.
"I-It's just that everybody back home knew how to read, and my mom was gonna teach me, but-" He broke off, looking away from the other boy, who's face had softened.
"Well, Sarin doesn't know how to read, either, so he has no room to talk." Relaxing his stance, Ruyan came back into the room, shutting the door behind him. Glancing at him, Darius' cheeks flushed with embarrassment and anger at the reminder of the earlier incident, but Ruyan smiled at him mischievously.
"It's okay, I snuck up on him and pushed him in the pig slop while the healer was fixing you."
"Really?" Darius couldn't picture it.
"Yeah, I figure I'll tell Dad that I was defending your honor and all that." With a small grunt of effort, Ruyan pulled himself onto the bed without dropping the book, and sat flipping through it with a look of intense concentration on his young face. "Of course, that means I'll have to hang out in here until you're better."
Still fascinated by all the letters on the book's pages, Darius took a quick glance sideways at him, questioning. In answer, Ruyan just smiled.
"If I go out there without you, he'll kick my butt."
Darius laughed.
Finis.