Professor Figg purposefully walked to HIS chambers. She was trying
zealously not to reveal just how nervous she was. She couldn't believe she
was doing this. She had not been alone with Sirius since...
***
Arabella was slowly being shaken awake. The touch was gentle, but her conscious mind knew it was important. Reluctantly, she opened her eyes.
Sirius was lying beside her under the covers, propped up on his elbows. He was smiling at her, but she recognized his concern. He had been with Lily and James and their son Harry only a few hours before, when Sirius had been made their secret-keeper. He had been stressed and tired, so he had gone to Arabella. "Can't a girl get any sleep around here?" she whispered with a teasing smile.
He stroked her cheek fondly. "I wish I didn't have to wake you. I need to check on James and Lily again. I told them I would take care of things."
Sirius looked very tense. Arabella smiled at him sweetly, pulled him back down. He used her chest as a pillow for a few minutes. She wrapped her arms around his neck and snuggled him close. "I love you," she whispered.
"I love you too," he replied softly, one hand reaching up to caress her face. Then, he slowly rose. "I'll be back in a few hours, if nothing goes wro-," He stopped himself with a shudder, adding, "I'll be back soon." And he put on his clothes and walked out the door.
***
How did I let myself get talked into this, Arabella wondered to herself as she walked soundlessly down the corridor. Of course, she knew plainly well how she had let it happen. Sirius Black had always had his charms, though it was a wonder that they could still shine through after all that had befallen him. He was still mourning Harry, of course. That was perfectly understandable. Even if his dark eyes were not laughing the way she remembered, they had still called out to her.
She finally reached the door. It was solid oak, reinforced with iron in the Medieval style that suited Hogwarts so well. Her delicate, pale fist reached out. She knocked once, twice, and then she waited.
After a moment, the door silently glided open. "Welcome, Professor Figg, to my humble abode," Sirius said gallantly, bowing as he let her in. A ghost of a smile flickered across his lips.
"Thank you for inviting me, Professor Black," she replied politely as she stepped through the doorway. He took her hooded velvet cape, long and midnight blue. At that moment, it matched her eyes, but they both knew her eyes were like kaleidoscopes, shifting color constantly.
What Sirius saw under that cloak took his breath away. She was so tall and thin that she seemed dainty and fragile, but he knew from long ago that she was all wiry muscle. Her beautiful, gently curved body was covered with an elegant white robe, cut to fit her perfectly. Her long hair, so blonde it was almost white, was pulled back from her face into a loose braid that went all the way down her back.
Arabella noticed his gaze and immediately began looking around the room. It was very similiar to her quarters in most ways, with stone walls, hard wood floors and ceilings. Yet the entire feel was different. In her rooms, the entire place felt dreamy, surreal. It was almost a fairy-tale princess's chambers. In the quarters of Sirius Black, the entire feel was dark, Gothic. The color scheme was black and blood red, with ebony furniture. She almost felt as though she would be swallowed whole if she took another step into the room.
"Come, Arabella, sit with me," he said softly, gesturing towards his living room.
She followed him and sat down beside him on a worn red leather couch. He was wearing all black, as he always had, but there was something about the way it hung on his muscular body that entranced her. She realized she was staring and looked away.
"I haven't seen you in a long time, Arabella," he said softly. He was just gazing at her as he spoke.
She just met his gaze firmly, with her amber eyes. "No, we haven't kept in touch, have we?"
He opened his mouth, then closed it again before speaking. "Why didn't you try to contact me?" There was something in his gaze, flashing briefly across his face. She thought she recognized it; it was pain.
"There was no need for us to speak. What could I have said to you?"
He just looked at her, his eyes filled with shock and anger. The passion he used to have, the passion she had not seen since before James and Lily died, was back. Somehow, it did not add to his charm anymore. When he spoke emotionally now, it was with rage or depression, not with love. He fumed, "What about, 'I'm sorry about Harry', or, 'I know now that you did not kill James and Lily, please forgive me', or even just, 'Hey, remember me?' or 'Do you mind if I teach at Hogwarts?' What about all of that, Ara?"
He called her Ara! They all used to call her that, once. Lily had been the first one to say it, when they were eleven. Oh God, don't think about Lily. Not now. "And I don't suppose you tried to contact me, Sirius?"
There was a silence for a moment, before he spoke. "Oh, no. I tried to get a message to you, Arabella. Strangely, no one seemed to know where you were. Imagine my surprise when I found you, after looking for a year and a half, sitting at the staff table at the Sorting Ceremony!" At least he was as sarcastic as she remembered.
"I have been working for Dumbledore for several years now, a little project of his. He no longer needed me to continue that work after this summer, so he offered me a teaching position."
He just looked at her for a moment. "What were you doing for Dumbledore?"
Arabella just stared back at him with her grey eyes, trying to keep her face blank. "I'm not permitted to speak about it." She took a deep breath. "Don't try and force it out of me."
After a moment, he just nodded. He seemed very old and tired all of a sudden. "Why don't we eat? I've made dinner." As they rose and walked to his small kitchen, he added, "I doubt that it's as good as the regular fare, but I hope it's enough."
She smiled reassuringly at him. "If I remember correctly, Sirius, you are a very good cook. I doubt the house elves could do better." He blushed slightly at her praise. Arabella sat down and Sirius went over to the magical stove.
That gave her the most wonderful opportunity to stare at his back. Even when they were students, he had had the build of a football player, and though many years had gone by he was still tall and broad shouldered. Memories began to drift back to her. Some were sweet, some haunting. A few were terrible. One memory in particular...
***
Arabella walked into the courtroom, sat down near the back. It was cold, much too cold. But so was she. She had become just like the room over the past few weeks, cold and hard. What else could she do? She had lost everything. Her friends, her lover, everything had disapparated in one night.
HE was sitting, shackled and under the imperius. He did not turn around from the defendant's booth, did not try to look her in the eye. Maybe he did not even know she was there.
She was wearing a black robe, had pulled her hair up into a neat bun and wore a veil across her face. She had the right to wear black. Lily had been her best friend, her confidante. She was very good friends with James as well. She had been Harry's godmother, for god sakes! Not that it mattered; Dumbledore insisted that the boy be placed with his muggle relatives.
As if she had not suffered enough already, now she was losing the last important person, and it would be by her own hand that he was banished.
After a long time, several hours of arguments and witnesses, Arabella was called to testify. The prosecution was saving her testimony for last, as it was the best and most convincing argument, not that he wouldn't be put in Azkaban regardless. No matter what happened in court, he would pay for what he did.
The prosecutor stood before her. He was a tall wizard, with steel grey hair and cool eyes. "Ms. Figg, where were you on the night that James and Lily Potter died?"
She tried to speak, had to clear her throat several times, "I was ... with Sirius Black, in my apartment." The crowd murmured all at once. The judge banged his enchanted gavel, and they fell silent.
"Why was he in your apartment?"
"We were, romantically attached," Arabella replied with a painful swallow.
The prosecutor looked at her closely for a moment. "For how long was he with you on that evening?"
"From about five that afternoon to ten at night."
The lawyer turned and addressed the room. "According to the medical analysis, the Potters died at approximately ten thirty that evening." He turned back to Arabella. "Ms. Figg, please continue."
"I fell asleep at some point during the evening, and he woke me up a few minutes before he left."
"Did he say anything to you?"
Arabella closed her eyes. This could not be happening. How could it have happened? Why hadn't she known? "He told me he had to go check on Lily and James," she whispered, almost inaudibly, a lone tear trickling down her face.
"Please repeat yourself," the lawyer replied gently.
"He said he had to go check on Lily and James," she said far too loudly, her voice cracking. Her words were laced with pain, and she struggled to keep her tears in check. "He said he would be back soon, started to add 'if nothing went wrong' and stopped himself."
"Is that all?"
Tell them how worried he was about them, tell him that he loved James like a brother, tell them something! This couldn't be happening! "Yes, that's all."
"You may be seated."
As Arabella walked down from the witness stand, she saw HIS tortured eyes. He was staring at her, tears falling slowly. Even under the imperius, he was somehow able to weep.
***
After a long moment, Sirius turned back around. He had two glasses in one hand, a bottle of red wine in the other. Floating in front of him was a large bowl of pasta. The pasta set down gently on the table, between their plates, and he poured them each a glass of wine.
Arabella sipped the wine, remarking, "I love Italian! I can't believe you remembered so much about me, Sirius."
"You were the love of my life from when we were both fourteen, Ara. How could I forget?" He was staring at her with an intensity she remembered all too well.
She broke his gaze, began to eat. She reminded Sirius of a bird when she ate. He still loved to watch her, even after all that had happened between them.
The two ate in near silence. They both attempted to make small talk, neither with any success. Eventually, they finished their meal. Taking the bottle of wine and his glass, he led Arabella back to the couch.
After a brief and awkward silence, they began to converse, hesitantly at first. There was much gossip about the people they had known as students that only one person knew of the pair. After a long while, the bottle was empty.
Finally, what Arabella had been wanting to say to her ex-lover for several monthes spilled from her lips. "Sirius, I have to apologize, for...," she began, her voice trailing off. "I didn't know about Peter, and I thought..." She did not continue. They both knew what she had assumed.
He just nodded, a faint smile on his lips. He accepted Arabella's apology gracefully, with a hint of his old charm. "We had no idea who was passing information. James didn't want to suspect anyone in our circle, but it had to be one of us. We never suspected Peter. We should have, I still don't know how I could have missed it."
She scooted closer to Sirius, put her glass down on the coffee table and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You can't blame yourself. They're dead, Sirius. They've been dead for a long time, and no amount of pain on your part is going to bring them back."
He did not meet her brown-eyed gaze, simply looked at the floor as he spoke. "All the Potters are dead now. I could have saved all three, and I didn't."
"There was nothing you could do, Sirius! You couldn't save James or Lily or Harry, and there is only one person to blame. The Dark Lord is responsible for this, not you. Just keep fighting, and maybe we can make their deaths count for something."
He looked up then, meeting her gaze with a question burning in his eyes. "Why didn't you adopt Harry, Ara? We were both his godparents, you could have taken him."
"Dumbledore wouldn't let me, said it was best for his aunt and uncle to take him."
He started laughing then. His laughter was cold and booming and harsh, taking her by surprise. "It was best?! Ara, I was the one who carried his body out of that hellhole. He weighed about seventy-five pounds in the end, bruised and cut everywhere. I have never seen a worse black eye in my life than the one he bore! There were still tears on his face when I found Harry's body. What would have been best would be to have given him to you, or even have Dumbledore adopt the boy. Something!" He was raging inside, shaking as he spoke.
He still blames himself, Arabella realized suddenly. It had been over two monthes since Harry's death, and still he placed himself at fault.
Arabella hardly realized she was giving Sirius a hug until his head was resting on her shoulder. Just like she had that last night they had been alone together, it began with a hug. She had to fight back a shudder as she remembered how that night had progressed. "It'll be all right, Siry, I promise." That had been her old nickname for him, years ago. "I know it hurts, shh. I know."
He had not been in a woman's arms, had not been in HER arms, for far too long. He had missed her so much. In Azkaban, everything that was good in his memories was sucked out of him. That included his happiness with Arabella. It felt so good to be held by her again, and he leaned against her strong, lithe body. She still had those muscles from quidditch years ago. They had all played on Gryffindor house quidditch, Sirius and Ara and James. James...
He whispered brokenly, "I just miss them all, so much. Every time I saw Harry, it was James again. Did you ever meet him?"
Arabella shifted her weight under him as she spoke. "Oh, well, once or twice. They did look a lot alike... I miss them too, Sirius."
She found herself rubbing his back as she held him. Slowly, as though he was afraid to move, Sirius sat up. He had put his arms around Arabella as she was hugging him, and he did not move his limbs as he rose. Her arms stayed in place as well.
Her eyes are beautiful right now, he mused to himself. Just then, they were the color that Lily's eyes used to be, and Harry's eyes too. He missed them all so much, it was like an ache inside. His eyes started welling up, and he was distraught to find that he could not prevent the onslaught of tears.
Even as a child, Sirius had been the strong one, the tough one, the bad boy. He never showed anything but bravery and strength and attitude. Why would he do otherwise? He was the only one of the Marauders who enjoyed wearing the black robes that were class attire at Hogwarts, and the only one who continued to wear similar garb after graduation. Never did he let himself hurt in public, or in front of HER. He was supposed to be strong for Ara, he had known that all along. All of that made his tears harder to bear.
She reached up with one hand, brushed his cheek, wiping away the tears. They looked at each other, almost like they were seeing each other for the first time. It was second nature for them to lean closer, to move their mouths toward each other, to...
"No!" Arabella said, too loudly, jerking back harshly, then added in a calmer tone of voice, "No." She sighed. "Sirius, I can't do this. Not now."
Sirius just looked at her, his face rapidly decaying into bitter fear. His best friend was dead, his best friend's wife was dead, their son was dead, the only person left was Ara. He missed her companionship so much...
He stared at her, whispered mournfully, "Please, Ara, I have missed you so much, I-!"
I can't believe it, Arabella thought as she started swaying a little in her seat. I'm drunk. "No, Sirius. Don't. I couldn't; too many old memories. Every time I see your face, I can't help but think of Lily and James. It's too much."
"Fine." He nodded swiftly, with a false politeness, rising to his feet. He seemed rather drunk just then, for he did not rise as smoothly as he should have. He picked up his empty wine glass in one hand, the matching bottle in the other, gestured wildly at the door. Wordlessly, Arabella began to leave. She knew Sirius in THAT mood all too well.
She was stepping through the doorway when she heard him say, "And Ara? What do you think I see every time I look at YOUR face?" he whispered, his voice full of venom, and Arabella slowly, quietly shut the door behind her. There were tears in her eyes as she heard the sound of glass shattering against the door, and then a horrible silence.
***
Arabella was slowly being shaken awake. The touch was gentle, but her conscious mind knew it was important. Reluctantly, she opened her eyes.
Sirius was lying beside her under the covers, propped up on his elbows. He was smiling at her, but she recognized his concern. He had been with Lily and James and their son Harry only a few hours before, when Sirius had been made their secret-keeper. He had been stressed and tired, so he had gone to Arabella. "Can't a girl get any sleep around here?" she whispered with a teasing smile.
He stroked her cheek fondly. "I wish I didn't have to wake you. I need to check on James and Lily again. I told them I would take care of things."
Sirius looked very tense. Arabella smiled at him sweetly, pulled him back down. He used her chest as a pillow for a few minutes. She wrapped her arms around his neck and snuggled him close. "I love you," she whispered.
"I love you too," he replied softly, one hand reaching up to caress her face. Then, he slowly rose. "I'll be back in a few hours, if nothing goes wro-," He stopped himself with a shudder, adding, "I'll be back soon." And he put on his clothes and walked out the door.
***
How did I let myself get talked into this, Arabella wondered to herself as she walked soundlessly down the corridor. Of course, she knew plainly well how she had let it happen. Sirius Black had always had his charms, though it was a wonder that they could still shine through after all that had befallen him. He was still mourning Harry, of course. That was perfectly understandable. Even if his dark eyes were not laughing the way she remembered, they had still called out to her.
She finally reached the door. It was solid oak, reinforced with iron in the Medieval style that suited Hogwarts so well. Her delicate, pale fist reached out. She knocked once, twice, and then she waited.
After a moment, the door silently glided open. "Welcome, Professor Figg, to my humble abode," Sirius said gallantly, bowing as he let her in. A ghost of a smile flickered across his lips.
"Thank you for inviting me, Professor Black," she replied politely as she stepped through the doorway. He took her hooded velvet cape, long and midnight blue. At that moment, it matched her eyes, but they both knew her eyes were like kaleidoscopes, shifting color constantly.
What Sirius saw under that cloak took his breath away. She was so tall and thin that she seemed dainty and fragile, but he knew from long ago that she was all wiry muscle. Her beautiful, gently curved body was covered with an elegant white robe, cut to fit her perfectly. Her long hair, so blonde it was almost white, was pulled back from her face into a loose braid that went all the way down her back.
Arabella noticed his gaze and immediately began looking around the room. It was very similiar to her quarters in most ways, with stone walls, hard wood floors and ceilings. Yet the entire feel was different. In her rooms, the entire place felt dreamy, surreal. It was almost a fairy-tale princess's chambers. In the quarters of Sirius Black, the entire feel was dark, Gothic. The color scheme was black and blood red, with ebony furniture. She almost felt as though she would be swallowed whole if she took another step into the room.
"Come, Arabella, sit with me," he said softly, gesturing towards his living room.
She followed him and sat down beside him on a worn red leather couch. He was wearing all black, as he always had, but there was something about the way it hung on his muscular body that entranced her. She realized she was staring and looked away.
"I haven't seen you in a long time, Arabella," he said softly. He was just gazing at her as he spoke.
She just met his gaze firmly, with her amber eyes. "No, we haven't kept in touch, have we?"
He opened his mouth, then closed it again before speaking. "Why didn't you try to contact me?" There was something in his gaze, flashing briefly across his face. She thought she recognized it; it was pain.
"There was no need for us to speak. What could I have said to you?"
He just looked at her, his eyes filled with shock and anger. The passion he used to have, the passion she had not seen since before James and Lily died, was back. Somehow, it did not add to his charm anymore. When he spoke emotionally now, it was with rage or depression, not with love. He fumed, "What about, 'I'm sorry about Harry', or, 'I know now that you did not kill James and Lily, please forgive me', or even just, 'Hey, remember me?' or 'Do you mind if I teach at Hogwarts?' What about all of that, Ara?"
He called her Ara! They all used to call her that, once. Lily had been the first one to say it, when they were eleven. Oh God, don't think about Lily. Not now. "And I don't suppose you tried to contact me, Sirius?"
There was a silence for a moment, before he spoke. "Oh, no. I tried to get a message to you, Arabella. Strangely, no one seemed to know where you were. Imagine my surprise when I found you, after looking for a year and a half, sitting at the staff table at the Sorting Ceremony!" At least he was as sarcastic as she remembered.
"I have been working for Dumbledore for several years now, a little project of his. He no longer needed me to continue that work after this summer, so he offered me a teaching position."
He just looked at her for a moment. "What were you doing for Dumbledore?"
Arabella just stared back at him with her grey eyes, trying to keep her face blank. "I'm not permitted to speak about it." She took a deep breath. "Don't try and force it out of me."
After a moment, he just nodded. He seemed very old and tired all of a sudden. "Why don't we eat? I've made dinner." As they rose and walked to his small kitchen, he added, "I doubt that it's as good as the regular fare, but I hope it's enough."
She smiled reassuringly at him. "If I remember correctly, Sirius, you are a very good cook. I doubt the house elves could do better." He blushed slightly at her praise. Arabella sat down and Sirius went over to the magical stove.
That gave her the most wonderful opportunity to stare at his back. Even when they were students, he had had the build of a football player, and though many years had gone by he was still tall and broad shouldered. Memories began to drift back to her. Some were sweet, some haunting. A few were terrible. One memory in particular...
***
Arabella walked into the courtroom, sat down near the back. It was cold, much too cold. But so was she. She had become just like the room over the past few weeks, cold and hard. What else could she do? She had lost everything. Her friends, her lover, everything had disapparated in one night.
HE was sitting, shackled and under the imperius. He did not turn around from the defendant's booth, did not try to look her in the eye. Maybe he did not even know she was there.
She was wearing a black robe, had pulled her hair up into a neat bun and wore a veil across her face. She had the right to wear black. Lily had been her best friend, her confidante. She was very good friends with James as well. She had been Harry's godmother, for god sakes! Not that it mattered; Dumbledore insisted that the boy be placed with his muggle relatives.
As if she had not suffered enough already, now she was losing the last important person, and it would be by her own hand that he was banished.
After a long time, several hours of arguments and witnesses, Arabella was called to testify. The prosecution was saving her testimony for last, as it was the best and most convincing argument, not that he wouldn't be put in Azkaban regardless. No matter what happened in court, he would pay for what he did.
The prosecutor stood before her. He was a tall wizard, with steel grey hair and cool eyes. "Ms. Figg, where were you on the night that James and Lily Potter died?"
She tried to speak, had to clear her throat several times, "I was ... with Sirius Black, in my apartment." The crowd murmured all at once. The judge banged his enchanted gavel, and they fell silent.
"Why was he in your apartment?"
"We were, romantically attached," Arabella replied with a painful swallow.
The prosecutor looked at her closely for a moment. "For how long was he with you on that evening?"
"From about five that afternoon to ten at night."
The lawyer turned and addressed the room. "According to the medical analysis, the Potters died at approximately ten thirty that evening." He turned back to Arabella. "Ms. Figg, please continue."
"I fell asleep at some point during the evening, and he woke me up a few minutes before he left."
"Did he say anything to you?"
Arabella closed her eyes. This could not be happening. How could it have happened? Why hadn't she known? "He told me he had to go check on Lily and James," she whispered, almost inaudibly, a lone tear trickling down her face.
"Please repeat yourself," the lawyer replied gently.
"He said he had to go check on Lily and James," she said far too loudly, her voice cracking. Her words were laced with pain, and she struggled to keep her tears in check. "He said he would be back soon, started to add 'if nothing went wrong' and stopped himself."
"Is that all?"
Tell them how worried he was about them, tell him that he loved James like a brother, tell them something! This couldn't be happening! "Yes, that's all."
"You may be seated."
As Arabella walked down from the witness stand, she saw HIS tortured eyes. He was staring at her, tears falling slowly. Even under the imperius, he was somehow able to weep.
***
After a long moment, Sirius turned back around. He had two glasses in one hand, a bottle of red wine in the other. Floating in front of him was a large bowl of pasta. The pasta set down gently on the table, between their plates, and he poured them each a glass of wine.
Arabella sipped the wine, remarking, "I love Italian! I can't believe you remembered so much about me, Sirius."
"You were the love of my life from when we were both fourteen, Ara. How could I forget?" He was staring at her with an intensity she remembered all too well.
She broke his gaze, began to eat. She reminded Sirius of a bird when she ate. He still loved to watch her, even after all that had happened between them.
The two ate in near silence. They both attempted to make small talk, neither with any success. Eventually, they finished their meal. Taking the bottle of wine and his glass, he led Arabella back to the couch.
After a brief and awkward silence, they began to converse, hesitantly at first. There was much gossip about the people they had known as students that only one person knew of the pair. After a long while, the bottle was empty.
Finally, what Arabella had been wanting to say to her ex-lover for several monthes spilled from her lips. "Sirius, I have to apologize, for...," she began, her voice trailing off. "I didn't know about Peter, and I thought..." She did not continue. They both knew what she had assumed.
He just nodded, a faint smile on his lips. He accepted Arabella's apology gracefully, with a hint of his old charm. "We had no idea who was passing information. James didn't want to suspect anyone in our circle, but it had to be one of us. We never suspected Peter. We should have, I still don't know how I could have missed it."
She scooted closer to Sirius, put her glass down on the coffee table and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You can't blame yourself. They're dead, Sirius. They've been dead for a long time, and no amount of pain on your part is going to bring them back."
He did not meet her brown-eyed gaze, simply looked at the floor as he spoke. "All the Potters are dead now. I could have saved all three, and I didn't."
"There was nothing you could do, Sirius! You couldn't save James or Lily or Harry, and there is only one person to blame. The Dark Lord is responsible for this, not you. Just keep fighting, and maybe we can make their deaths count for something."
He looked up then, meeting her gaze with a question burning in his eyes. "Why didn't you adopt Harry, Ara? We were both his godparents, you could have taken him."
"Dumbledore wouldn't let me, said it was best for his aunt and uncle to take him."
He started laughing then. His laughter was cold and booming and harsh, taking her by surprise. "It was best?! Ara, I was the one who carried his body out of that hellhole. He weighed about seventy-five pounds in the end, bruised and cut everywhere. I have never seen a worse black eye in my life than the one he bore! There were still tears on his face when I found Harry's body. What would have been best would be to have given him to you, or even have Dumbledore adopt the boy. Something!" He was raging inside, shaking as he spoke.
He still blames himself, Arabella realized suddenly. It had been over two monthes since Harry's death, and still he placed himself at fault.
Arabella hardly realized she was giving Sirius a hug until his head was resting on her shoulder. Just like she had that last night they had been alone together, it began with a hug. She had to fight back a shudder as she remembered how that night had progressed. "It'll be all right, Siry, I promise." That had been her old nickname for him, years ago. "I know it hurts, shh. I know."
He had not been in a woman's arms, had not been in HER arms, for far too long. He had missed her so much. In Azkaban, everything that was good in his memories was sucked out of him. That included his happiness with Arabella. It felt so good to be held by her again, and he leaned against her strong, lithe body. She still had those muscles from quidditch years ago. They had all played on Gryffindor house quidditch, Sirius and Ara and James. James...
He whispered brokenly, "I just miss them all, so much. Every time I saw Harry, it was James again. Did you ever meet him?"
Arabella shifted her weight under him as she spoke. "Oh, well, once or twice. They did look a lot alike... I miss them too, Sirius."
She found herself rubbing his back as she held him. Slowly, as though he was afraid to move, Sirius sat up. He had put his arms around Arabella as she was hugging him, and he did not move his limbs as he rose. Her arms stayed in place as well.
Her eyes are beautiful right now, he mused to himself. Just then, they were the color that Lily's eyes used to be, and Harry's eyes too. He missed them all so much, it was like an ache inside. His eyes started welling up, and he was distraught to find that he could not prevent the onslaught of tears.
Even as a child, Sirius had been the strong one, the tough one, the bad boy. He never showed anything but bravery and strength and attitude. Why would he do otherwise? He was the only one of the Marauders who enjoyed wearing the black robes that were class attire at Hogwarts, and the only one who continued to wear similar garb after graduation. Never did he let himself hurt in public, or in front of HER. He was supposed to be strong for Ara, he had known that all along. All of that made his tears harder to bear.
She reached up with one hand, brushed his cheek, wiping away the tears. They looked at each other, almost like they were seeing each other for the first time. It was second nature for them to lean closer, to move their mouths toward each other, to...
"No!" Arabella said, too loudly, jerking back harshly, then added in a calmer tone of voice, "No." She sighed. "Sirius, I can't do this. Not now."
Sirius just looked at her, his face rapidly decaying into bitter fear. His best friend was dead, his best friend's wife was dead, their son was dead, the only person left was Ara. He missed her companionship so much...
He stared at her, whispered mournfully, "Please, Ara, I have missed you so much, I-!"
I can't believe it, Arabella thought as she started swaying a little in her seat. I'm drunk. "No, Sirius. Don't. I couldn't; too many old memories. Every time I see your face, I can't help but think of Lily and James. It's too much."
"Fine." He nodded swiftly, with a false politeness, rising to his feet. He seemed rather drunk just then, for he did not rise as smoothly as he should have. He picked up his empty wine glass in one hand, the matching bottle in the other, gestured wildly at the door. Wordlessly, Arabella began to leave. She knew Sirius in THAT mood all too well.
She was stepping through the doorway when she heard him say, "And Ara? What do you think I see every time I look at YOUR face?" he whispered, his voice full of venom, and Arabella slowly, quietly shut the door behind her. There were tears in her eyes as she heard the sound of glass shattering against the door, and then a horrible silence.