"All clear," Dumbledore whispered into the dark room.
All Sirius could see was the color of charcoal, it was too dark to see a thing. Gradually, his eyes adjusted to the dimness. Only the faintest glimmer of moonlight illuminated the room he was standing in. Sirius could hardly see the figure standing a few feet away, silhouetted by the frail light coming in the window. Only his baggy clothes, spiky hair, and gaunt figure were visible to Sirius. Without warning, the figure rushed at him.
Instantly, Sirius was ready to grapple, to fight. He had lived on the streets for a very long time, had reflexes to prove it. He was ready for him, whoever he was, whatever he was about to do. Nothing, however, could have prepared Sirius for what happened next.
Instead of combat, Sirius found himself being hugged. There was a strange intensity to the weak grip, whoever he was was shaking terribly. The moon seemed to shine a little brighter then, for he caught a glimpse of green eyes, a jagged scar, unruly hair like that of only two people he had ever known. It couldn't be, could it? COULD IT?
Tentatively, barely daring to hope, Sirius whispered, "Harry? Is that you?" At his words, someone turned on the lights. It couldn't have been, it shouldn't have been, but it was. It WAS Harry Potter. Inexplicably, he was holding Harry in his arms. Sirius fell to the ground, dazedly sitting while he was being hugged to death. Sirius felt so good that he couldn't comprehend it; dazedly he pulled his godson into a bearhug. "Oh, Harry. I've missed you. But you're dead. I pulled you out of THERE, I saw you laid in the ground. How can you be here?"
"I think I can answer that," replied Arabella.
Slowly, Sirius stood, faced his one time lover. "I should have known you were involved."
She just laughed softly. "But of course!"
"And what is your role in all of this?" Sirius glowered.
Ara laughed then, her proud and beautiful chuckle. "I've been playing Mrs. Figg, the little old lady who lives at 6 Privet Drive, for the past fourteen years. Easily the most tedious thing I've ever done. Though it wasn't difficult at all. The cats give me an advantage." As she spoke, Arabella gestured at the room. It was then that Sirius noticed the housecats. About a dozen felines were in strategic positions around the room: guarding the door, staring out the window, in chairs and under his bed.
She had been with Harry, protecting him all this time? "Why didn't you tell me?"
Her rainbow hued eyes were cold, hurt when she replied, "Why should I have? When would I have? Could I have at all? I didn't volunteer to guard Harry until after the dementors had dragged you away, for killing James and Lily." She waved her hand impatiently, ignoring his protest. "Yes, I know NOW that you weren't the one who betrayed them, but I didn't know then. And besides, I had no reason to tell you. It wasn't like I could have been receiving owls daily, that would have aroused suspicion. Only Dumbledore knew I was there."
"What happened, a month ago? Why did Harry pretend to kill himself?"
Harry, who had been half-ignored for the few seconds, spoke up hesitantly then, squirming and not meeting Sirius's eye. "That part wasn't pretend, Sirius. I tried to kill myself that night. Professor Figg saved me, used my, actions, as part of the plan."
"Oh God," Sirius muttered. "What happened, Harry?" The two walked over to the chairs, sat down together. Neither Sirius nor Harry had noticed as all of the cats and people silently filed out of the room.
Harry was shivering, not with cold, as he sat upon his chair. When he spoke, it was in a sardonic whisper, much unlike how Sirius remembered him. "Uncle Vernon was beating me again, and all I could think about was how I'd hurt my mum and my dad, and Cedric, and you, and all my friends. I put everyone in danger just by being alive, because Voldemort keeps hurting everyone in sight while he tries to kill me. The body count keeps rising, and it's all my fault. If I was dead, then he'd stop trying to hurt the people I care about."
Sirius looked, dumbfounded, at his godson. Putting his hand to Harry's face, he forced him to look him in the eye as he spoke. "No! Never, Harry! Don't think that, we care about you so much, you're the only reason I've kept on living, don't ever think that. You never failed anyone. That you are still alive shows how strong you are, you've fought the most dangerous person anyone has ever encountered five times and lived! No one else can say that."
"I wasn't very strong that night." Still, Harry was still trying not to look Sirius in the eye, and a lone tear slid down his face. "I'm not strong at all."
"Shh, Harry, shh. That isn't true at all." Sirius gave his godson a hug, and just held him while the tears rained down. "You are one of the strongest people I know. You were just pushed too far, in the hands of people who didn't care about you. All that's behind you. You are NEVER going back to the Dursleys again. NEVER," Sirius said, meaning it to the core of his being.
Harry continued softly, almost like he couldn't hear Sirius at all. "I tried to cast the killing curse on myself, but I guess it didn't work. If Ms. Figg hadn't stepped in and knocked me unconscious, I probably would have snuck out of my cupboard that night and found something to slit my wrists with."
Sirius slowly turned, knocked on the door. They all came back into the room, and Sirius glared at the blonde witch, anger clouding his features. "What did you do to Harry, Arabella?"
"I cast a sleeping charm on him, made a flash of green light. I had contacted Dumbledore earlier that evening. I could see the attempt coming, and he told me to save him at the last possible moment, then make him look dead.
"I mended his broken ribs, cast a spell that would make him look dead until I lifted it, and alerted Dumbledore. I presume he called you."
Sirius nodded slowly. "He called me, and I went in there to go get him. Imagine the Dursleys' surprise when a convicted murderer walks in and goes straight to the cupboard under the stairs. I-," Sirius began, his voice failing him. Harry gently patted his arm, and then he continued, "You were a mess, Harry. A cut lip, one of the worst black eyes I've ever seen, and I've seen quite a few, bruises everywhere. I picked you up, held you in my arms, and carried you out of there. Somehow, I managed to do it without killing the bastards who happen to have gotten misplaced into Lily's side of your family."
"Sirius, if you want you can go back and finish the job," Harry replied, rather hopefully.
Sirius just looked at him. "I can't do that."
"Think you could get the dementors after them? They can have the cell next to the one they're saving for Peter Pettigrew." To everyones' shock, Harry seemed completely serious. If he had said that last year, he would have been joking. Not any more.
Sirius found himself staring at his godson. Harry had changed over the summer, and it did not seem to be a good change. He put a gentle hand on his godson's shoulder, led him to a corner of the room so they could talk quietly. "You're serious, aren't you?" Harry nodded. "Don't tempt me. I wanted to hurt them so badly, but I had to think about you first. Even if I didn't save you, I was going to get your body out of there at least."
"Whatcha mean, even if you didn't save me?" Harry was almost in visible hysterics as he spoke, obviously hurting.
"Harry," Sirius began, his voice trembling, "for the past month you have been dead. I could have saved you. But I didn't save you. I failed you! I failed you just like I failed your parents."
"Sirius, you didn't fail any of us!" Harry suddenly met Sirius's gaze. Fiercely, he shook his head. "I failed, not you. And Peter killed my mum and dad, not you. That wasn't your fault!" Harry gave Sirius a hug, and they were both crying.
Finally, Harry determinedly sat back in his chair, wiping away his tears as discreetly as he could. "So, I heard that you were acquitted."
Sirius nodded, blinking rapidly. "I finally brought myself in, Remus and I both took veritaserum and gave accounts of what happened the night Peter got away, and the events around James and Lily's deaths. They had no choice but to believe me, especially considering that Snape had brewed the potions himself."
"You drank something Snape gave you, and you're still alive?" Harry gave a macabre chuckle. "You sure it wasn't a very slow-acting poison?"
Sirius chuckled darkly. "He had to take the first sip, and was then asked if he poisoned the serum. Snape of course said no, and then Remus and I proceeded to have some."
"So, have you got a house?"
Sirius smiled. "When school wasn't in session, I stayed with Remus before now. At present, I see no reason for that to change, though I will eventually get a house for the both of us. You are not going back to them, ever, Harry. I swear it."
Harry shuddered at the mention of the Dursleys, and Sirius sighed. "Harry, I got acquitted at the beginnings of July."
"Why didn't you take me?" Harry asked, sounding bitter and hurt.
He just bowed his head. "Dumbledore thought it was safer for you there. Apparently he was right, since you are still with us."
"I wish I wasn't sometimes," Harry whispered.
"No!" Sirius practically shouted, before noticing the look Dumbledore gave him. Remembering his promise of quiet to the headmaster, he added in a whisper, "Why, Harry?"
Harry just looked at him. "I haven't left this room since I tried to kill myself. THEY won't let me. THEY told you I was dead, THEY told Ron and Hermione I was dead. I might as well be right now." Sirius started to shake his head, but Harry continued talking. "I see things sometimes, Sirius. I can't explain it, but I just know somehow that Voldemort will kill me one day. Oh, he won't win, but he's going to take me down with him. I don't really mind that so much, dying. Just as long as he dies, then I don't care what happens to me."
"That's not true, Harry. You aren't going to die. We won't let you," Sirius said. Then he had to fight off the urge to laugh and cry at the same time. HE wouldn't let Harry die? How had he saved him last time?
Harry nodded, smiled blankly. "I know, Sirius." Harry sighed inside. He hated lying to people, especially Sirius. Oh well, he would be happier this way. Everyone would be happier this way. At least he would get to say goodbye.
All Sirius could see was the color of charcoal, it was too dark to see a thing. Gradually, his eyes adjusted to the dimness. Only the faintest glimmer of moonlight illuminated the room he was standing in. Sirius could hardly see the figure standing a few feet away, silhouetted by the frail light coming in the window. Only his baggy clothes, spiky hair, and gaunt figure were visible to Sirius. Without warning, the figure rushed at him.
Instantly, Sirius was ready to grapple, to fight. He had lived on the streets for a very long time, had reflexes to prove it. He was ready for him, whoever he was, whatever he was about to do. Nothing, however, could have prepared Sirius for what happened next.
Instead of combat, Sirius found himself being hugged. There was a strange intensity to the weak grip, whoever he was was shaking terribly. The moon seemed to shine a little brighter then, for he caught a glimpse of green eyes, a jagged scar, unruly hair like that of only two people he had ever known. It couldn't be, could it? COULD IT?
Tentatively, barely daring to hope, Sirius whispered, "Harry? Is that you?" At his words, someone turned on the lights. It couldn't have been, it shouldn't have been, but it was. It WAS Harry Potter. Inexplicably, he was holding Harry in his arms. Sirius fell to the ground, dazedly sitting while he was being hugged to death. Sirius felt so good that he couldn't comprehend it; dazedly he pulled his godson into a bearhug. "Oh, Harry. I've missed you. But you're dead. I pulled you out of THERE, I saw you laid in the ground. How can you be here?"
"I think I can answer that," replied Arabella.
Slowly, Sirius stood, faced his one time lover. "I should have known you were involved."
She just laughed softly. "But of course!"
"And what is your role in all of this?" Sirius glowered.
Ara laughed then, her proud and beautiful chuckle. "I've been playing Mrs. Figg, the little old lady who lives at 6 Privet Drive, for the past fourteen years. Easily the most tedious thing I've ever done. Though it wasn't difficult at all. The cats give me an advantage." As she spoke, Arabella gestured at the room. It was then that Sirius noticed the housecats. About a dozen felines were in strategic positions around the room: guarding the door, staring out the window, in chairs and under his bed.
She had been with Harry, protecting him all this time? "Why didn't you tell me?"
Her rainbow hued eyes were cold, hurt when she replied, "Why should I have? When would I have? Could I have at all? I didn't volunteer to guard Harry until after the dementors had dragged you away, for killing James and Lily." She waved her hand impatiently, ignoring his protest. "Yes, I know NOW that you weren't the one who betrayed them, but I didn't know then. And besides, I had no reason to tell you. It wasn't like I could have been receiving owls daily, that would have aroused suspicion. Only Dumbledore knew I was there."
"What happened, a month ago? Why did Harry pretend to kill himself?"
Harry, who had been half-ignored for the few seconds, spoke up hesitantly then, squirming and not meeting Sirius's eye. "That part wasn't pretend, Sirius. I tried to kill myself that night. Professor Figg saved me, used my, actions, as part of the plan."
"Oh God," Sirius muttered. "What happened, Harry?" The two walked over to the chairs, sat down together. Neither Sirius nor Harry had noticed as all of the cats and people silently filed out of the room.
Harry was shivering, not with cold, as he sat upon his chair. When he spoke, it was in a sardonic whisper, much unlike how Sirius remembered him. "Uncle Vernon was beating me again, and all I could think about was how I'd hurt my mum and my dad, and Cedric, and you, and all my friends. I put everyone in danger just by being alive, because Voldemort keeps hurting everyone in sight while he tries to kill me. The body count keeps rising, and it's all my fault. If I was dead, then he'd stop trying to hurt the people I care about."
Sirius looked, dumbfounded, at his godson. Putting his hand to Harry's face, he forced him to look him in the eye as he spoke. "No! Never, Harry! Don't think that, we care about you so much, you're the only reason I've kept on living, don't ever think that. You never failed anyone. That you are still alive shows how strong you are, you've fought the most dangerous person anyone has ever encountered five times and lived! No one else can say that."
"I wasn't very strong that night." Still, Harry was still trying not to look Sirius in the eye, and a lone tear slid down his face. "I'm not strong at all."
"Shh, Harry, shh. That isn't true at all." Sirius gave his godson a hug, and just held him while the tears rained down. "You are one of the strongest people I know. You were just pushed too far, in the hands of people who didn't care about you. All that's behind you. You are NEVER going back to the Dursleys again. NEVER," Sirius said, meaning it to the core of his being.
Harry continued softly, almost like he couldn't hear Sirius at all. "I tried to cast the killing curse on myself, but I guess it didn't work. If Ms. Figg hadn't stepped in and knocked me unconscious, I probably would have snuck out of my cupboard that night and found something to slit my wrists with."
Sirius slowly turned, knocked on the door. They all came back into the room, and Sirius glared at the blonde witch, anger clouding his features. "What did you do to Harry, Arabella?"
"I cast a sleeping charm on him, made a flash of green light. I had contacted Dumbledore earlier that evening. I could see the attempt coming, and he told me to save him at the last possible moment, then make him look dead.
"I mended his broken ribs, cast a spell that would make him look dead until I lifted it, and alerted Dumbledore. I presume he called you."
Sirius nodded slowly. "He called me, and I went in there to go get him. Imagine the Dursleys' surprise when a convicted murderer walks in and goes straight to the cupboard under the stairs. I-," Sirius began, his voice failing him. Harry gently patted his arm, and then he continued, "You were a mess, Harry. A cut lip, one of the worst black eyes I've ever seen, and I've seen quite a few, bruises everywhere. I picked you up, held you in my arms, and carried you out of there. Somehow, I managed to do it without killing the bastards who happen to have gotten misplaced into Lily's side of your family."
"Sirius, if you want you can go back and finish the job," Harry replied, rather hopefully.
Sirius just looked at him. "I can't do that."
"Think you could get the dementors after them? They can have the cell next to the one they're saving for Peter Pettigrew." To everyones' shock, Harry seemed completely serious. If he had said that last year, he would have been joking. Not any more.
Sirius found himself staring at his godson. Harry had changed over the summer, and it did not seem to be a good change. He put a gentle hand on his godson's shoulder, led him to a corner of the room so they could talk quietly. "You're serious, aren't you?" Harry nodded. "Don't tempt me. I wanted to hurt them so badly, but I had to think about you first. Even if I didn't save you, I was going to get your body out of there at least."
"Whatcha mean, even if you didn't save me?" Harry was almost in visible hysterics as he spoke, obviously hurting.
"Harry," Sirius began, his voice trembling, "for the past month you have been dead. I could have saved you. But I didn't save you. I failed you! I failed you just like I failed your parents."
"Sirius, you didn't fail any of us!" Harry suddenly met Sirius's gaze. Fiercely, he shook his head. "I failed, not you. And Peter killed my mum and dad, not you. That wasn't your fault!" Harry gave Sirius a hug, and they were both crying.
Finally, Harry determinedly sat back in his chair, wiping away his tears as discreetly as he could. "So, I heard that you were acquitted."
Sirius nodded, blinking rapidly. "I finally brought myself in, Remus and I both took veritaserum and gave accounts of what happened the night Peter got away, and the events around James and Lily's deaths. They had no choice but to believe me, especially considering that Snape had brewed the potions himself."
"You drank something Snape gave you, and you're still alive?" Harry gave a macabre chuckle. "You sure it wasn't a very slow-acting poison?"
Sirius chuckled darkly. "He had to take the first sip, and was then asked if he poisoned the serum. Snape of course said no, and then Remus and I proceeded to have some."
"So, have you got a house?"
Sirius smiled. "When school wasn't in session, I stayed with Remus before now. At present, I see no reason for that to change, though I will eventually get a house for the both of us. You are not going back to them, ever, Harry. I swear it."
Harry shuddered at the mention of the Dursleys, and Sirius sighed. "Harry, I got acquitted at the beginnings of July."
"Why didn't you take me?" Harry asked, sounding bitter and hurt.
He just bowed his head. "Dumbledore thought it was safer for you there. Apparently he was right, since you are still with us."
"I wish I wasn't sometimes," Harry whispered.
"No!" Sirius practically shouted, before noticing the look Dumbledore gave him. Remembering his promise of quiet to the headmaster, he added in a whisper, "Why, Harry?"
Harry just looked at him. "I haven't left this room since I tried to kill myself. THEY won't let me. THEY told you I was dead, THEY told Ron and Hermione I was dead. I might as well be right now." Sirius started to shake his head, but Harry continued talking. "I see things sometimes, Sirius. I can't explain it, but I just know somehow that Voldemort will kill me one day. Oh, he won't win, but he's going to take me down with him. I don't really mind that so much, dying. Just as long as he dies, then I don't care what happens to me."
"That's not true, Harry. You aren't going to die. We won't let you," Sirius said. Then he had to fight off the urge to laugh and cry at the same time. HE wouldn't let Harry die? How had he saved him last time?
Harry nodded, smiled blankly. "I know, Sirius." Harry sighed inside. He hated lying to people, especially Sirius. Oh well, he would be happier this way. Everyone would be happier this way. At least he would get to say goodbye.