Chapter Two ~ Nothing
Lily sat down next to Evelyn in the Great Hall for dinner. It seemed as though James had avoided Lily all day. They didn't have some classes together because of their electives, but she had seen him in Potions after her Herbology class. Once the day's classes were over he still continued to elude her. It's like he's trying to be inconspicuous, she thought, perturbed, and realized she was most likely right. The Marauders, it was widely believed, knew just about every secret passageway in the school. They were known for popping out of walls and dousing Slytherins with red and gold paint. But Lily hadn't really ever considered just how voluminous Hogwarts was, and she had obviously far underestimated the hideaways in the school!
She was exhausted now from running around the castle trying to search for him and she had wasted a good bit of time doing it, too. She had done some of her Charms homework during class and there was no Herbology assigned at the end of class, so she didn't have an enormous amount left to finish, but there was still a lot. And the thought of not finishing it made her anxious with stress. She sat down next to Evelyn (who looked considerably happier than Lily would have expected) and the other girls just as dinner appeared. She began to eat rapidly, realizing how hungry and tired she really was. Finishing, she decided to return to the Common Room, and began to stand with a decidedly defeated look on her face.
But Evelyn had other designs, and pulled Lily back by her shoulder. "Look!" she whispered through a broad smile, and pointed to the other side of the Great Hall. She saw Severus Snape walk by, his hair a shocking shade of pink. Laura and Cecil were laughing and shaking their head, respectively. There was no contest to the culprits; cursing hair color was a juvenile and long-lasting favorite of the Marauders. Somehow they had even managed to grow out a pink mustache too, though his eyebrows remained a dark, sour black. The complete effect made him look extremely odd. His eyeballs were practically popping out of their sockets in anger. "Black, Potter, I'll get you! You know I will," he cried madly, stalking to the Slytherin table, where one of his friends helpfully offered his hat. Severus grabbed it and threw it on the ground, kicking it into the shadows. Lily couldn't help but smile at the expression on Severus' face. It was priceless.
Somewhere, she knew, Peter and Remus were smirking very happily, for it seemed that Severus never suspected them as culprits in the Marauder escapades. She also knew that James and Sirius didn't exactly mind the attention, and were quite content to take all the blame for themselves.
As Lily laughed softly she realized that James had been off organizing this little heist while Lily was searching for him. Most likely he was lying low so Severus wouldn't be suspicious. Fat chance, Lily thought sourly, Severus was born suspicious of Gryffindors. And it really hadn't helped, whenever anything went wrong it was usually blamed on one of the Marauders. Whichever of the four was the closest, or perhaps whoever you had a particular repugnance for, always ended up having to scrub something with a toothbrush. It was pretty standard. Lily, for Sirius's last birthday, had even deigned to give him his own Barbie toothbrush for the job, though the reference was lost on him, not being a Muggle and all. He had found it amusing though, being that the toothbrush was much the same color as Severus's hair.
And now the hall was abuzz with chatter and lilting laughter while people revisited on past pranks and memories.
"Hey Evelyn, do you think that Lily or Severus looked worse with pink hair?" Laura said, remembering that in response to the pink toothbrush, Sirius had rewarded her with pink hair identical to Snape's. Laura, Evelyn, and Cecil tried to maintain a straight face as they appraised her and swiveled their heads to view Snape.
"I'm not sure," Cecil tried to look pensive. "But they both look so hideous that maybe they should have been a pair!" Lily, who was seriously not amused, shrieked. "Take it back! That really isn't true!" They just kept laughing at her.
"Oh, we all know you are pining for him, Lily. When was the last time you had a boyfriend?" Laura questioned, and Lily blushed.
"Fourth year," she mumbled. "I will get you guys for this, you know it," and she scowled angrily, looking at her plate. She tried very hard to regain the angry look on her face and defiantly stuffed some salad into her mouth. When she looked up and saw her friends' faces, however, she couldn't help but smile.
* * *
Lily's fun she had at dinner dissolved once she returned to the Common Room and began her homework. "I just can't stand this stupid book!" Lily complained too loudly, and hit her book for emphasis. Everyone who was left in the room at this hour snapped their heads up to look at Lily. She blushed, momentarily embarrassed by the attention she had brought onto herself. "Sorry everyone—Transfiguration," she stated, and shrugged her shoulders. Those who couldn't empathize with her situation grumbled and went back to what they were doing. A couple people smiled at her, they obviously knew what she was experiencing in the way of extreme mental pain. The broad smiles from Sirius and James (who were currently lounging by the Fat Lady) didn't hold encouragement; they were simply making fun of her. Lily told herself to ignore them, but when they started to laugh at Lily's feeble attempts to pay attention to her Transfiguration, that was the last straw.
Lily glared at them while Remus tried to no avail to get them to shut up. He should have known that it was a futile effort, they only laughed harder. After all the crap I took from McGonagall today the last thing I need is to be laughed at. And it's no consolation that the laughter comes from those two—those two IMBECILES, she fumed inside her head. Just because they were good at Transfiguration without ever picking up a book didn't give them the right to look down on her! She had the urge to charm their ears off.
She hurriedly picked up her books and stalked out of the Common Room, "At least the Library is quiet," she mumbled pointedly as she walked out.
When Lily reached the Library she sat down and laid out her book to get ready to work. She procrastinated for awhile, but then reminded herself that she could not fail Transfiguration, and set to work. She became completely absorbed in her homework, for the first time that night. She hadn't realized how much time had passed when she looked at the clock on the wall. "A Prefect up past lights-out," she said to herself. "What would dear old McGonagall have to say about that?" At that point, some small back part of her brain kicked in and she remembered that she had wanted to discuss Evelyn with James, if now only for her own interest as it seemed that Evelyn was feeling better. But she didn't have time to think about that now, she wanted to test herself to see where all this forsaken studying had got her.
She pointed her wand at the fountain pen she had brought with her and crossed her fingers. A steady but small stream of water burst from the tip. She smiled and reversed the spell. "Okay, partial transformation of objects down," she said, flipping though her text. "Only three more chapters to go. This shouldn't be so bad," she said softly, even as she knew it wasn't true. Never would she go to McGonagall for help, but she would need a miracle to keep up with the current class work while making up everything she didn't understand.
Gathering her things she left the room, figuring that at least if she ran into Filch she could flash her badge and get out of trouble. She stopped suddenly, swearing to herself that she had heard someone else's footsteps. As much faith as she had in getting out of trouble with Filch, she had no desire to converse with him in a dark hallway at night. But looking around, she saw no one in the dim torchlight.
She stayed completely still and heard a voice, echoing off the walls, "Lily? Is that you?" the person called. She stood rigid.
Even considered why someone else would be out this late and where the hell he (at least it sounded like a he) was hiding, she answered, "Yes." Then, with a quiver in her voice she asked, "But who are you?" Who would be following her around this late? She didn't see anyone. It can't be Filch, she reasoned. He would have run right up to me like a mad-man, or at least sent Mrs. Norris up ahead.
Another thought occurred to her, that this better not be a prank. She frowned as she turned in a circle, still apparently alone in this corridor. If this was another prank she would strangle Sirius, she was not in the mood to be made a fool of. If she wasn't in such a bad temperament she might have laughed it off, but not tonight. Sirius had fooled her before and the memory was unpleasant (she fingered her long hair—red, as it should be—without realizing it). James and he were the main accomplices in the major pranks pulled around Hogwarts. But, if this was Sirius there was absolutely no need to be afraid, that would only being doing what he wanted. She said, with more confidence, "Better yet, where are you?"
Silence… Then a small, deep chuckle and a gentle tug on the back of her robes. "Right behind you."
Lily's books clattered to the ground as she whirled prepared to see Peeves the Poltergeist, or at the worst a total stranger. Even worse, it seemed, is that when she turned around she found herself staring into the empty hallway, the mysterious person vanished. She touched the back of her robes where a hand had just been, mystified.
Lily stared, transfixed for a few seconds. "Nick?" she called to Nearly-Headless Nick, the Gryffindor ghost. It didn't sound like his voice though, and Peeves would have broke into some crude song and picked up her books and flown away with them. He certainly wouldn't have missed the opportunity to make her utterly miserable at his first chance, in any case. She slowly picked up her books and began to back away. When she had received no answer she was completely creeped out, even growing up in a magical school then couldn't make you completely used to odd things happening. When something tapped her shoulder she screamed. She was promptly cut off by a hand over her mouth, or rather; it felt like a hand, she couldn't see anything. She immediately tried to remember what she had learned in a self-defense demonstration she had seen once. But she couldn't, so she just screamed and dropped her books yet again. Water burst in torrents out of her tiny fountain pen and she stamped her foot in frustration.
"Ow!" a voice echoed from behind her, and she wormed her way out of the stranger's clutch. She whirled around and tried to grab at the air, feeling like an idiot. She came in contact with a soft material, but was so surprised that she let it go.
"Who are you?" she said, angrily. Slowly she saw someone's shoes seemingly Apparate before her, then black robes, and the person's hands followed. She stared in awe and finally figured out what was going on. "You're in an Invisibility Cloak!" She'd read about them, they were of some practical use, but at Hogwarts it was probably only used for mischief. Well, ambushing someone in the middle of the night probably counts as mischief, she thought, very sour and definitely amused.
"You're smarter than you look." Lily glared at where she guessed the person's head was. As she bent down to pick up her books she wondered what else you'd use an Invisibility Cloak for. The possibilities were endless. She guessed this person was merely searching for the end.
Once she was upright again she replied scathingly, "If you don't mind, I'd like to see who I'm talking to. It's unnerving to see a body without a head." That was the honest truth. Even when Nearly-Headless Nick let his head hang by ghostly sinew she looked away. The rest of the cloak was completely removed in one swift movement. She found herself looking directly into the grinning face of James Potter. "James! What are you doing here?!?" Lily pronounced in the angriest whisper she could muster—she couldn't decide whether she was more upset or surprised.
"I decided to take a stroll around random parts of Hogwarts," he said sarcastically. "Where were you?" he said pointedly, though a smile inched up the right side of his face. Lily was taken aback, usually people didn't counter her sarcastic attitude, and at least not when she was being mostly serious.
"I was in the library because someone," she took a moment to glare at him, "was interrupting my concentration when I was trying to study in the Common Room." Now her temper had begun to rise. Lily's closest friends would have recognized the warning signs: pursed lips, deep breaths, and most of all, the fact that her green eyes sparked brightly. That only happened when she was very angry or very happy, and even a moron could tell Lily Evans wasn't happy, not one bit. James, however, took all that in stride and in a few seconds had supplied a comeback.
"And what about my concentration? You were making lots of noise over all your Transfiguration. Besides, I'd say you weren't even concentrating in the first place. You were always fidgeting, staring at random things, generally not paying attention to—"
"I get the drift James," she yelled, talking over him in order to get him to shut up. She wondered for a second why James was even watching her doing her homework, but she let it go.
"First, be quiet, it's way after we're allowed to be out of bed. We'll be caught if you don't stop yelling." Lily instantly realized she had gotten angry again and she tried to calm herself down. She imagined that if her roommates had been watching they would have bombarded James with questions. How exactly had he managed to get Lily calmed down so quickly? How had he done it in less than a minute when she usually had to be left to her own devices for awhile before she'd apologize? Lily considered that it was probably James reasoning that had lowered her temper. She was smart, the most logical idea usually appealed to her. She was also painfully aware that her temper got away from her too often. She was working on that character flaw, but it was hard, and it made her depressed to think about how she made other people angry and how she couldn't control herself. No one would reason with an angry person, and she hated being brushed off. Though Lily thought through all that, her reply was instantaneous.
"Since when do you care about getting caught, James?" she asked. "Since when did it matter that someone innocent was pulled down along with you. It wouldn't be the first time you know." He looked ready to respond, but she continued. "It wouldn't be the first time that you lost House Points that someone else who actually happens to pay attention in Charms had earned. Don't tell me that all of a sudden you care about other people. Don't tell me that all of a sudden you don't care about Evelyn." It all poured out of her mouth, one thought firmly attaching itself to the next and refusing to let go. She winced at her atrocity.
James raised his eyebrows. "Well. You certainly have a lot to say. Anything else you would like to add? A comment about my hair maybe?"
"Since you mentioned it, yes. It is horribly messy." She kept her lips completely straight, attempting to bite her tongue.
"Some girls like it," he said dubiously. "What kind of rumors would you expect if word got around that we were caught, late at night in a hallway?" Lily couldn't find a comeback for that comment so easily. "If you are so worried about Evelyn, maybe you should take that into consideration as well."
"That was a low blow, James. Don't get angry at me because I care. It is obviously something you aren't accustomed to," she said bitterly, with a sinking feeling she was only digging the hole deeper. "Why are you here, anyway?" she said with a resigned sigh.
"Well, I might have wanted to apologize," he said. "But I have recently been informed that I am incapable of caring, so of course that isn't possible," he said jokingly.
"Oh," she said shortly, ashamed that she had been so rude. In any other manner, that comment would have infuriated her, but James' joking manner made it easier to swallow. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, she thought. In some ways, her Muggle upbringing was too hard to let go of.
"I guess I was worried." James looked as if he regretted even starting to explain. Lily looked pained, but at the same time she was curious to see a part of James that wasn't about pranks or jokes. She was beginning to realize he wasn't as painfully one-dimensional as she had once imagined. True, he was always good for a laugh at the lunch table, rather good-looking, and reasonably athletic, but she hadn't ever truly thought about him as a true friend.
"Why would you be worried?" she said, much less angrily than she had intended. She saw he was genuinely concerned, and that softened her anger, however much she didn't want to admit that maybe James wasn't as arrogant as he seemed; however much she didn't want to admit that maybe she had a problem with arrogance herself.
"Well, some girls just cry about anything you know?" Lily blushed, remembering how she had just cried that morning. "It was late when you left, and then you never came back. When it got to after lights-out I decided to go out looking for you in my Invisibility Cloak so I wouldn't get caught. I was worried you were off crying somewhere." That led to a rather awkward silence. Suddenly he got a mischievous glint in his eyes, and a sly grin on his face as he continued, "I should have guessed that you would be studying." Lily huffed and frowned playfully, very glad that he had ended the silence. She was still tongue-tied, however, and continued her walk back to Gryffindor Tower. James jogged to catch up, falling in step next to her.
They walked in silence, and Lily looked at James, who at her request had left his cloak off. "Don't you have something you want to say?" she asked, smiling a tiny bit. James just looked at her; he was clueless to what she was talking about. "You did want to apologize, didn't you? I think I deserve a good one considering you scared me half to death when you came to apologize in the first place." James laughed, surprised by her bluntness. Lily smiled, surprised that she had so quickly repressed the shame she had felt from accusing him of being, essentially, a completely selfish person.
"A good apology? Now how would I go about doing that?" James looked expectantly at Lily, he had quickly grown to expect her ingenious remarks. Lily giggled, realized what she had done, and promised herself she would try not to giggle again. She was not in fourth year. She was sixteen, she would not giggle.
"Surprise me," she requested. He started to grin then became completely solemn.
He stopped her in the hall, and got down on one knee. He took her free hand nobly, the picture of someone from a Shakespearean play. Oh great, thought Lily, rolling her eyes, I should have guessed James would make a joke out of it. He looked directly at her, "Lily Evans, I am extremely sorry that I made fun of you when you were having trouble with your homework. I should try to help you instead of making it harder than it is to begin with. I hope you accept my apology." James got up, a questioning look on his face. To Lily he was saying as plain as day, How'd I do?
Lily was surprised, no, she was awestruck, no, she was—she didn't know what she was, but she was definitely confused. She had expected him to make a joke out of it, but instead he had sincerely apologized. He had definitely surprised her. Her menace towards him melted, and she couldn't even muster a response, but merely smiled. He smiled back, and Lily suddenly saw why he made some girls swoon. The stupid girls, she thought, and I'm not one of them. I'm glad Evelyn never acted like a fool around him, I wouldn't have been able to take it. Though, she had to admit, he never took advantage of it, at least not to her knowledge.
Suddenly Lily had an odd memory. It was when they were both in fourth year, during a Charms class…
"Ok, class. I'm coming around to collect your homework." Professor Malchite had started to walk around to collect the Charms homework. In front of her she had heard an urgent whisper:
"Sirius, I forgot to do the Charms homework. I'll get detention for sure this time." Lily remembered being surprised by that. James and Sirius were as big on pranks in 4th year as they are now, detention wasn't something out of the ordinary then. Lily didn't know why, but she had felt bad for James. She had stared at her homework, she spent a long time on it, but, she was already doing so well in Charms Professor Malchite wouldn't miss one homework assignment from his best pupil.
When the Professor's back was turned Lily slipped her homework to James. He turned around, looking confused. She remembered herself saying, "You need it more than I do." James looked relieved, mouthed a quick, "I owe you one," and had given her that smile that crept up the right side of his face.
Lily was a generous person, and the missed homework didn't even affect her record. It made more sense to give it to James. Professor Malchite hadn't even noticed the handwriting difference…
The rest of the walk to Gryffindor Tower went by quickly. Lily and James hadn't talked for the rest of the walk back, they were both consumed with thought. They reached the Common Room, said goodnight and parted ways—Lily to the left and the girls dorm, and James to the right to the boys. She was halfway to her room when she had a sudden inspiration. She turned around and rushed after James. She caught up to him right outside his door. He turned to look at her, a look of extreme confusion on his face. What was Lily doing in the boys' dorm? He soon found out, before he had a chance to question her presence she blurted out, "James, I accept your apology."
James shook his head questioningly, smiling. "Thanks, I suppose," he said.
"Good," Lily replied. "Now, I believe you have a simple favor to repay." James obviously didn't remember, Lily hadn't exactly expected him to. But he would soon remember, she knew, and she would soon have an answer to her Transfiguration problem.
"What are you talking about?" he asked, stupefied.
"Oh… nothing," she replied mischievously. But from the glint in her green eyes, James knew something more that nothing was on her mind. He sighed. What have I gotten myself into?