Chapter 18 ~ The Gray that Settles
Lily's sickness continued. She never quite did get rid of that foul feeling in her mouth, the feeling that she had killed her parents. She never could quite tear the image from her mind, from underneath her eyelids where they lurked, waiting for her to lapse and be tormented by them once again.
She immersed herself in her fourth-year schoolbooks, for what reason Lily wasn't even sure of. But deep down she knew she was clinging to the past, to the place that she could never go back to. The days passed, she and the Delanns returned to the mansion. Lily forgot about the thoughts of seeing her friends before school started again. She remembered the last time she had broken down so hard over her parents, that one late night in the common room. James had been there for her. He always makes me feel better, she thought sullenly, for he didn't seem to be the least interested in speaking to her. He hadn't even owled. You haven't owled either, she told herself. Apollo screeched awkwardly in the corner and flapped his wings in earnest. You haven't owled anybody recently, she reprimanded again. They probably don't want to intrude, she thought before turning to the page on size and topographical changing, an odd combination of charms and transfiguration, the only subject she had ever tested in excellence on in Transfiguration, until James had begun to help her, that is.
He just wouldn't stay out of her thoughts. Lily didn't mind particularly, but this was James. Just James.
"Lily?" Robyn called while knocking on her door. "Are you in there?" Lily quickly put her book down and jumped out of bed, rushing to her dresser to pretend that she was doing something other than moping.
"Yeah, you can come in," she answered back. Robyn entered, "Lily, my mom wanted to know if you were interested in going to Diagon Alley today for supplies." It was the 20th of August,
"That would be great. Just give me a bit to get ready and then we can leave."
"Okay, how about we leave in an hour. I still have to eat lunch."
"Sure, an hour is fine." And in exactly one hour she was standing at the fireplace ready to head off to Diagon Alley.
"Okay girls, here is enough money for all your books, perhaps a little extra for something for each of you. Now, off we go." Mrs. Delann was the first to pop through the fireplace and Lily and Robyn were soon to follow. They picked up all her new books and potion refills and headed off to Madam Malkin's for robes. Lily hadn't grown much, but Mrs. Delann was convinced that she should get new robes because she was Head Girl. "And don't forget dress robes, dear. There is the Graduation Dance for you at the end of the year, remember." Lily groaned. "Oh, you'll warm up to it. The whole night isn't boring formalities and getting your diplomas."
"It's not even a dance, they just call it that to make it sound nicer," Lily complained good-naturedly.
"Yes, well, you might warm up to the idea dear. Besides, aren't you excited you get to speak as Head Girl? It will be fun, and it is your Graduation. Don't be upset, just buy some robes and stash them away until the spring, you're not growing anymore."
"You're right." Lily and Robyn immediately went looking through all the formal robes.
"Look at this gorgeous green robe Lily, it would look great on you." Lily looked at the robes, they would look good, she knew.
"I'm sick of wearing green. Red hair is more trouble than its worth," she complained. "I want to try something different."
"Well, whatever you try, don't try red," she added with a laugh. "And remember, that it's held at night, so you probably want something dark."
"Yeah, I know." She fingered her hair. She really did love it, it just made buying clothes a little complicated.
"Okay, well keep looking, I have to get new school robes. Good luck finding some dress robes."
Lily laughed. "I'll need it." It took awhile before she found some robes that might work. They ended up fitting perfectly as well. They were of a silvery gray that glinted slightly as she moved. She felt sophisticated when she wore them, and it was perfect for the nighttime ceremony. And she already had shoes to match; so as far as she was concerned they were perfect. She took them to the counter to pay.
"That'll be 62 galleons, 4 sickles, and 22 knuts, miss." Yikes, thought Lily as she paid. Maybe not that perfect.
"Sixty-two? You are paying sixty-two galleons for dress robes?" Lily whirled around to see James right in front of her, looking rather bemused.
"You are forgetting the 4 sickles and 22 knuts. Besides, I don't spend all my money on stink bombs, so I am using it to buy dress robes."
"Hey, those stink bombs and all the other stuff we buy go towards a good cause."
"Ambushing Mrs. Norris hardly counts as a good cause, James," she countered. "I think it comes closer to animal abuse."
"Ha! You should see the damage she does with those claws of hers. I'd say we're even." She grinned, she had missed him. "You know Lil, I missed you while you were gone. I was—we were all worried about you," he said, making Lily turn to grab her bag to hide her blush. They started to walk out of the store. "And I was wondering," he leaned in close to whisper, making her shiver, "have you decided on an animal yet?" She turned towards him, catching her breath at the close proximity between them. She smelled a familiar scent. I suppose that he really does wear cologne all the time.
"Just leave it to me, I'll handle it," she said, putting back the distance between them. They continued walking, talking, and catching up with each other before Lily realized she had left the store without even telling Robyn and Mrs. Delann where she was going.
"James! I have to go back, I can't believe I forgot to tell them!"
"Ok, then. I'll see you on the train," he said, not able to hide the regret from his face. Lily wasn't looking.
"Bye, James!" she yelled before running back down the street she had come from. She didn't hear the forlorn 'bye' James muttered back. She simply continued down the streets, trying to retrace her dawdling steps. I should have brought James with me, he could have remembered the way back, she thought. And it didn't ever occur to ask someone for directions, she just continued walking and turning back.
She was positively lost. The street she was walking down was dim, made eerie and even dimmer by the cloud-shrouded sun. This road didn't resemble the others, its cobbles were torn up, the windows were dark, the people waling past had sly grins on their faces. Dangling on a hinge from the corner was a sign with 'Knockturn Alley' stamped in fading letters upon it. She finally resolved to ask for directions, wanting to be back at Madam Malkin's without hesitating a moment more.
"Excuse me?" she asked to a man walking just behind her. "Could you please tell me how to get back to Madam Malkin's, the robe shop?" The man, who was hunched over, straightened up. He had the palest blue eyes she had ever seen, and skin as white as could be. The brim of his hat cast a deathly shadow over his pallid face, his eyes momentarily flickering gray, making her entranced by the face she never wanted to see again. His gaze simply held her. He grinned a sickening, toothless grin.
"Now, why would you want to go back there? Stay here, relax awhile." He reached for his pocket, drawing her attention away from his eyes and scaring her out of her wits. What am I supposed to do? she wailed to herself. Get yourself the hell out of here seems to be the main priority, I should think, her immanent sharp-voiced self retorted
"I—I have to meet someone," she answered shakily. "Quickly."
"Ah… Meet someone? Just stay here, I'll show you all the company you'll ever need." He grinned again, and Lily wanted to throw up. Not only a creepy man, but a perverted creepy old man. How lucky can I get?
"Really, I must be going. If you don't know the way then just say so, I'll be leaving anyway."
"Don't sass me, young lady. I'm more than I appear."
"More of a nut head? I wouldn't have guessed." If the man didn't want sass, then she fully planned on giving it to him. But quick as a flash she was hurled into a cranny between two stores, her back hit hard and soundlessly against a stack of boxes. He pulled a long, glinting knife from his coat pocket.
"I warned you not to sass, girl." Slowly he began to descend on her with the knife. She wasted no time.
"Oh, pardon me," she answered sarcastically. The next second, she landed a painful kick to where her mother had always instructed her to in this sort of situation. She felt no mercy. Quickly she jumped over him and started to run. On an impulse, though, she turned around and took the knife with her. She ran, and ran, and ran, leaving the filthy Knockturn Alley behind.
Before heading back into Diagon Alley she stopped in front of a tree to inspect the knife. It had a long blade, polished to a high shine with a curving tip. The handle was studded with tiny emeralds and small stars of gold and ebony. It was magnificent, even if she had almost died by it. It was still magnificent. How will I explain all this? she wondered, sitting against the tree trunk. She looked up through the sparse leaves on the tree, it was obviously dying. She saw a sparkle shine through the branches, one that immediately vanished. Odd for stars to be out so early in the summer, she thought. She looked at the dagger once more, deciding to just keep it to herself, stashing it away in her bag. Then I can simply forget about it. It was just some old pedophile. She thought of him again, and those deep mysterious eyes he had. They seemed so familiar, though she was sure she had never seen them before.
But that flicker of gray, it still seemed so hauntingly familiar. She brushed it off, paranoia caused her overreact so much, she rationalized. But, if this was paranoia, then she certainly didn't like the feeling of chills it gave up and down her spine. A flash of gray—Lily looked to the tree behind her. But no gray, just the fear, just the chills that vibrated within her, making her step erratically. And she continued, finally making it back to the robe store where Robyn and Mrs. Delann were frantically waiting. No chides were waiting, they were simply scared that a nasty fate awaited her. Lily assured them she was well and they continued home.
And a pair of gray eyes flickered, following her. They watched and they waited. And the mysterious eyes seemed to laugh with a fire inside them, sensing her fear, feeding evilly off of it.
Only the darkest creatures feed off fear. The drain it from you when they have nothing left. And only from a creature of pure evil. But now the eyes, they sparked with the intrigue of hidden treasure, one that has been lost for a long, long time. He would have that treasure. He would have that treasure, and with any luck, he would have Lily Evans as well.