Chapter 19 ~ Intermission, Act Two
Lily had decided not to dwell on the man in Knockturn Alley. No lasting damage was done to her, though she still took out the knife from its hiding place to look at it every once in awhile. The green, gold, and black of the handle was entrancing. She stared at her trunk; she knew it was packed safely away in there, where no one could be suspicious of why she was carrying a knife. Her trunk bounced in the air; there was obviously some sort of bump on the Hogwarts Express track. She was on her way to Hogwarts now, her seventh, and last, year about to get underway. After she had visited Diagon Alley the rest of the holidays had passed relatively quickly. She had owled James, too. His reply had seemed awkward, though, and she was eager, yet nervous, to discuss it with him. He is just so… confusing, she thought, looking at him sitting across from her.
Laura gazed at him with no apparent pain in her eyes, looking upon him with simple adoration while Lily would have expected a least some bitterness after a break-up. This was something Lily hadn't expected, and made her think the worst for a second, but then discarded the idea like an old dishrag. Maybe she's just stronger than I thought she was, maybe I was wrong to get so mad at James. I should apologize for being so harsh, she realized. She had given James a terrible time about his eventual break-up with Laura, she herself would have been horribly guilt-ridden had she been in James' shoes.
"James?" she asked, getting his attention. "Could I speak with you outside?" All the boys perked their eyebrows, as well did Laura.
"Don't get any funny ideas," Laura said while laughing softly, earning a queer look from Lily. But James obliged and Lily quickly shut the compartment door once they were in the hallway.
"Listen, James, I don't think I was fair to you about the whole 'breaking up with Laura' problem. I didn't think she would take it so well and I was pretty horrible to you about it." There, she had said it. Now that wasn't so hard, she told herself.
"Wha—What? Oh—oh yes, of course, she—um—she… she didn't take it badly at all," James blustered.
"You didn't do it," she said with conviction. "I can't believe you didn't do it! I thought she wasn't acting right on the train, gazing at you like that." Her voice rose. "We talked about it; you said it was over between you two! Didn't the talk we had mean anything to you?" James was shamefaced.
"Lily, I'm sorry, I just couldn't do it. As much as you tell me to"—he grinned lopsidedly—"I just couldn't bring myself to do it."
"I fully expect you to do this," she said grinning as well. "But," she added seriously, "it really is important James. If you don't do this, I… I don't think I could ever look at you the same." She barely whispered the last phrase, What am I saying? she asked herself I don't think I could ever look at you the same… I must sound like a complete loser, an idiot, a—
"You're right." Lily let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding in.
"Of course I am," she added with a wry smile.
"Right, of course."
Lily entered the compartment and sat back down, not noticing the piercing glare she was receiving from Laura.
"When I said 'Don't get any funny ideas' I was joking, but maybe you need a little reminder that James is my boyfriend," Laura hissed, gathering the attention of the entire compartment.
"What are you talking about?" Lily exchanged a worried glance with James; he raised his eyebrows in a signal of his mutual cluelessness.
"I heard what you said out there," Laura said.
"You—you listened in on our conversation?" Lily spluttered.
"Yes, and it's a good thing I did, you filthy slut. I bet you spent the whole summer all over him, telling him to break up with me! I thought you were my friend." At this point, Laura wouldn't have done any better at spitting venom than if she was a snake.
"Don't tell me what I did and did not do." Lily was quiet, deadly quiet, a snake in her own right. Laura just ignored her though.
"I love him and he loves me! Don't you James." It wasn't a question.
"I—I…" James couldn't meet her eyes, eyes that were brimming with tears, the full realization hitting her with the force of a twenty ton anvil.
"You… you… you don't deserve to live, you SCUM!!!" Whether or not this was directed at Lily or James the others couldn't tell. James felt like scum right about now, the mucky pond scum at the bottom of a lake, the kind that people step all over. Sort of like how he was being verbally trounced right now. "Any you, you slut, don't think you'll get him now, you could never have him."
"And just what makes you so sure?" Lily hissed. "What makes you think you know anything except for you overheard a discussion that you don't even understand?" Lily was the snake now, constricting around Laura, making her heart near numb with frightened pain. "Absolutely nothing," Lily answered for her, her own heart wrenching. "Next time you call your friend who tried to help a slut without any sort of conviction you might want to think of me. I'm leaving; you can ask your little 'lover boy' here what the hell is going on." Lily breathed deeply and turned to James. "And you better explain, and you had better say it right, or else I will never ever speak to you again." The compartment door slammed behind her with tremendous force, just as much as Lily's flashback-to-five-years-old threat. Then, coincidentally, something did just happen to slam into him. Laura's hand left a mark that didn't seem to have any sign of fading before she left the compartment as well, heading pointedly in the opposite direction that the slut had left in.
* * *
Lily sat, fuming, in the Great Hall while Dumbledore made his yearly pre-Sorting speech. She tried to smile, but as she was sitting next to James (for the purposes of her Head Girl spot alone) she had to often remind herself not to grimace.
"Now, I'm sure you are all excited to be back at Hogwarts, and to those of you who are new, I wish you luck. Without further ado—the Sorting." Lily's smile genuinely brightened as she saw the Sorting Hat awaken, its crisp fabric and large smile coming to life. The songs it created always brought a smile to her face, even as a terrified first-year, now it was no different. Lily listened in excitement as the Sorting Hat cleared its throat, or whatever it was that its voice happened to come out of.
Each new year around this time,
I'm reawakened to sing a rhyme,
To determine their place, without a doubt,
Into each new student's respective house.
Four choices from which I have to choose,
Though none of you have much to lose,
Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, Gryffindor:
Your place is chosen from among these four.
Hufflepuff, with the colors yellow and black,
To a friend they'd never turn their back,
A kind ear is always theirs to lend,
Never would they abandon a friend.
Ravenclaws, they don bronze and blue,
Their intelligence levels are through the roof,
Clever and witty, wise and smart,
With perfect aim they hit their mark.
Slytherins are bold in silver and green,
Achieving their goals by any means,
As cool and cunning as Salazar himself,
Slytherins embody power and stealth.
Gryffindors, lastly, in scarlet and gold,
On dishonor and scheming they would never be sold,
For true to their hearts and as brave as a lion,
Gryffindors are determined to reach the horizon.
Each house has qualities for which they search,
And through hist'ry I've never been one to besmirch,
So don't be scared, put me on your head,
Sit down on my stool and I'll go right ahead.
She clapped politely, nudging James when he didn't do the same. He simply looked at her oddly, making Lily frown back. "You told her, didn't you?" she whispered.
"Just look." He pointed to the Gryffindor table. There was Laura, sniffling still, although quietly and much subdued as Evelyn belatedly patted her back. "I had to hunt her down on the train just to find her."
"Well, it's good you did," she answered, trying to keep the conversation formal by being as stiff as possible. James noticed.
"Come on, Lil, don't stay mad at me forever. Please." Lily didn't look at him—that would have been a mistake. She answered with a simple "I have no intention of staying mad at you forever."
"That's great!" he exclaimed, though still keeping their conversation at a low pitch as McGonagall got up to read the list of first-years and give them their instructions.
"I only intend to stay mad at you as long as Laura stays mad at me."
James' face fell. "She's going to hate me until the ends of the earth. She will never forgive you unless she forgives me, otherwise who would explain it to her? She certainly isn't speaking to you." Belatedly Lily heard the Hat call out "GRYFFINDOR!!" but she didn't even turn to look.
"Oh, well spotted, James. No wonder they made you Head Boy." James looked hurt. "Sorry James," she added quickly. "But it hurt, what she said. And it hurt that she was the one saying it." The argument hadn't created animosity on only one side, however. Lily's thoughts on her firend were not exactly… friendly. And who does she think she is to say I don't have a chance with James Potter? she added to herself. She isn't perfect, then again, neither am I. But at least I don't act like I am, that little— She stopped, sighing, then turned to James. "And now I act like don't like her, either. I was doing this all for her, and now I can't get one nice thought in my head about her."
"I'm sorry Lily. But I have to tell you—"
"WRONG! A DUD! GET THIS ONE OUT OF HERE HEADMASTER—SHE DOESNT BELONG HERE!!!" James and Lily's heads swiveled to the stool from which the Hat was shouting frantically atop a young girl's head. McGonagall tried to calm the crying child while Dumbledore prodded with the Hat, taking it away immediately. Just as quickly loud murmur went through the Great Hall. Just who was this girl that had gotten turned away? Certainly nothing like this had ever happened before, judging by the look on McGonagall's face.
The staff table was in a flurry, each teacher off to do something or another to aid the situation. In all the fuss the students were left unattended. It seemed as though all of the first-years were still unsorted judging by the large group of students that were left standing at the front of the Great Hall. James and Lily simply regarded each other with a knowing look.
"I'll take the first-years," Lily said, "and you take the rest of the school." James just grinned, accepting this as part of his punishment as Lily went off to the first-years. They were all terrified. From behind her she heard James yelling threats of pranks to be pulled on those who didn't keep quiet. A remarkable amount of people shut up.
"He's not really gonna tie us up to the ceiling by our shoelaces, is he?" one small boy asked her. Lily suppressed a giggle.
"No!" Lily replied incredulously. "Not if you're good, that is," she added, smiling horribly. Most of them were quiet now, James had mostly done her work for her, and the rest of the Great Hall was in order as well. The little girl was gone too. What a horrible thing to happen: a first-year's nightmare come true. Everyone always thought in the back of their mind they wouldn't be good enough, but this girl, apparently, really wasn't. In the flash that Lily had seen the girl she had looked familiar, though she had no idea why. James interrupted her thoughts by tapping her on the shoulder.
"Lily, what should we do with the kids? Just seat them any old place?" he asked. Lily thought a minute.
"We should get the Prefects; each table could take a quarter of the children left. Then we could all eat," she offered as a plan. "Does that work for you?"
"Yeah, I'll split up the kids. You can go fetch the Prefects."
"Okay." Lily left and headed over to the Hufflepuff table first. There was Thomas Reilly, Lily had forgotten about him, and it certainly seemed that he had gotten over his apparent infatuation with her. After that one week of him following her, she had hardly ever seen him afterwards. He was nice though, cordial.
"Thomas, I need some help managing the first-years who haven't been sorted."
"Of course. I would be happy to help." He smiled; his teeth were straighter than she had remembered. Something about him was… just, different. She ignored it.
"Thanks, Thomas. Can you go over to James, please? He will give you some of the kids to seat." Lily walked off, conferring with one Prefect from the other three houses. She looked for Cecil at the Gryffindor table, she was another Prefect, but she was nowhere to be found. Instead she just asked Remus to do it. But when she asked him if he had seen Cecil he was just as bewildered as she. Nobody had seen Cecil since the Sorting Hat had flipped out. Lily was starting to get worried. 'Where could she be? What could have happened?' She asked, but nobody knew a thing. It was dragged from her mind as Dumbledore reappeared and made an announcement.
"Everyone, thank you for calming down. I see that you all have found seats." He winked at Lily and James who were both standing in the back. "Your cooperation is important. The rest of the Sorting will be suspended until we determine the answer to the current problem. Unsorted first-years will stay in rooms that will be set up temporarily for this purpose. Your Head Boy and Girl will direct you to your rooms after dinner. You will take classes with your temporary house until this is sorted out, no reason to get behind in our studies, is there?" he said amidst a few disappointed groans. "Until then, let's eat." Dumbledore sat as food appeared. Lily was awed by how calm he stayed. She nudged James and they both went up to talk to him at the Head Table. But Lily didn't know exactly what to say as Dumbledore simply looked at them evenly.
"Excuse us, Dumbledore, but we were just wondering…"
"Where the rooms are? Yes, of course. Mr. Potter, I'm sure you are familiar with the secret passage on the fourth floor behind the painting of Zeus, and, of course, the way to get in. Temporary Hufflepuffs may go behind the statue of Pan, the Gryffindors behind Hercules, the Slytherins behind Ekhidna, and the Ravenclaws can go behind the painting of Aquila. It is simple enough, and passwords won't be needed. Just get them to their beds please." They both knew each of the mythical people he was talking about, Lily and James were both in the elective Mythological Creatures that became available in their 5th year.
"We'll be sure to do it," Lily said, then added quietly, "Should I meet with you afterwards?"
"Yes. Mr. Potter can help you to my office as well, he knows where it is very well." Dumbledore had an amused look on his face.
"Years of practice, Dumbledore, sir!" James said, laughing.
"Or, if you look at it differently, years of mistakes." James stopped laughing, he didn't understand. Lily did, and just laughed at him. "Whatever the case, the password hasn't changed," he said, making James smile. "See you both later." Lily was encouraged by Dumbledore's good mood, and that he still considered her Head Girl. She had been dreading him taking her badge away. But now things didn't seem too bad. The Sorting Hat will be fixed soon, she hoped, and I will stay Head Girl. Everything will be just fine.
If Lily had remembered Cecil's disappearance, she might not have been quite so happy.
* * *
After dinner she and James gathered all the unsorted students and led them to the fourth floor. She let James lead while she explained. "These are just temporary rooms for you until Dumbledore figures out what is wrong. The House you are in right now doesn't mean you will be in that House, necessarily," a girl in Slytherin sighed loudly, "but it might," Lily finished and the girl gulped. "Just do your best where you are and before you know it you'll be Sorted."
"We're here," James announced, the painted door swinging open. Now it looked like a door, but it never had before. As Lily filed through at the end of the line James whispered "Good job calming them down. They all listened to you." She stopped briefly.
"They all listened to you, too."
"I threatened them."
"It worked."
"But you were better." Lily blushed, not having an adequate answer.
"Well, I suppose I can't argue with that." She entered the room, trying to hide her reddening face, and the fact that sometimes words just failed her when she talked to James. She had sort of forgotten she was supposed to hate him right now.
James followed her in. "Once you get inside, boys through the left door, girls through the right. We'll be coming in to check soon." James and Lily directed the students to their makeshift dorms. Once they had all gotten through she voiced something she had been wondering about.
"James, how exactly do you know all this about the castle? This room?" He turned quickly, secretively, but Lily walked up right behind him.
"I don't know. From… around."
"That's not an answer."
"Listen, Lil," he turned around, he hadn't heard her walking up behind him and hadn't realized they would be so close together if he turned around. Or maybe he had.
But, nonetheless, there was his face, right in front of hers. And there were his eyes, sparkling deep blue. And his hair, a little tuft that flipped over his forehead that she had to keep herself from touching.
"I'd better go check on the girls," she said quickly, breathlessly. She left just as fast, leaving James somber in the middle of the room. Sullenly he went to go check on the kids as well.
Lily rushed into the girls' bedroom, not noticing their conversation at first.
"What if she's a servant for Voldemort and the Hat realized just in time before she killed us?"
"DON'T say that, Clarice! Genna is really nice, I sat with her on the train. She was going to be in Gryffindor."
"Well I don't see what's so nice about Gryffindor anyway." This was the Gryffindor room. "I heard from my brother that they are all a bunch of hot-heads. He's in Hufflepuff. He says that all the Gryffindors ever do is get into trouble."
"Katie, why don't you just be quiet? Shut up about your brother, for once. We don't care."
"Well, you keep defending Genna. It's the same thing," Clarice (or at least Lily thought it was Clarice) said gently.
"It is not the same thing. Genna is important. Thomas sounds like a boring piece of dung." Lily stifled a laugh. She sounds like a Gryffindor, Lily thought with amusement.
"Alexis! You are the piece of dung! And Thomas is great." Lily knew it was wrong to let the argument continue, but she was curious. And isn't it odd to see a little sister who likes their older brother so much, who likes Thomas so much, she added, cringing. Now, all of a sudden, Thomas Reilly gave her the creeps.
"Katie, Alexis, BOTH of you can just shut up now, okay? I don't want to hear it. You are too loud and you are driving me crazy." Clarice intervened and the other two actually became silent. She has done all my work for me, Lily thought gratefully. "But Thomas does sound like a piece of dung," she added quietly.
Two things happened at once. Alexis jumped from her bed and screamed a loud "Yes!!!" and Katie jumped up and hit her with a pillow. Clarice, the instigator and, ironically, the pacifier, sat and watched from her bed for a few moments before picking up a book. Ravenclaw, Lily thought. Always behind a book. As she picked up Katie from behind she thought of this small girl's fierce loyalty. Definitely a Hufflepuff, just like her brother Thomas.
"Who are you?!?" Katie said indignantly, for Lily was holding her back by her robes.
"I'm the Head Girl. I could give you all detentions for fighting but I won't. Just calm down and get to bed. I'm turning off the lights." And she did. But a voice came through the darkness.
"Um… Head Girl?" It was Clarice
"Lily," she supplied.
"Yes, then, Lily? Genna wasn't really a servant for the Dark Lord, was she?" Lily had gathered by now that Genna was the girl who hadn't been able to be Sorted.
"Of course not. The Hat got confused," she answered lamely.
"Then could it get confused for us too?" Alexis asked. "Could it put us in the wrong houses?"
"Of course not, Dumbledore will fix it." They seemed satisfied. "Now go to bed." Lily got up and walked out praising the fact that these girls were all too different to ever be Sorted together. They would be quite a rowdy bunch, all in one dorm, she thought.
As she closed the door she heard a faint whisper, "Thomas still seems like a piece of dung."
* * *
Lily felt nervous as she waited outside by the painting for James. After the 'Gryffindors' she had had an easy time getting the others to bed. She guessed James wasn't so lucky.
"Hey Lil." He popped through the painting unexpectedly, making her yelp.
"James!" she screeched. "Don't do that!"
"Okay," he agreed. "I'll remember to do it the next time I see you." He grinned, making Lily do the same.
"Can you just show me the way to Dumbledore's office? Then you can go." James started walking and Lily followed.
"I think I'll stay and wait. I know a shortcut back."
"How do you know so much about the castle?" she asked again. James stopped walking and Lily kept going. Once again she found herself dace to face with him.
"You mean like the room?" he said, inviting her to remember when they were alone before, exactly like they were alone now.
"Yes, like the room," she said, making her knees work to move shakily past him. James' heart sunk, but he continued walking.
"Left."
"What?" she asked, confused.
"Make a left," he said.
"Oh, okay." She didn't ask him about the castle again. It just seemed to leave her in…. uncomfortable situations. Admit it, you like it, her devilish inner voice told her. "Do not," she whispered to herself without realizing it.
"Do not what?" James said, chuckling.
Lily cursed herself. Idiot. You blithering idiot. She stalled, "Do not… um… don't we not take a left here?" She tried to emphasize the words but it didn't work too well. James laughed, celebrating his own sort of private victory.
"Wasn't I showing you the way?"
"Yes, yes of course. Let's just go." She walked down the hall, trying to get away from him. He just stood there.
"Lily!" he called.
"What?"
"You were supposed to make a left." She cringed at her own stupidity.
"Right, a left."
"Left a right?"
"Shut up James," Lily said, giggling, her embarrassment forgotten. She loved how he could make her act like an idiot then make it feel like the most natural thing in the world to be that way. "Are we almost there?" she questioned to break the thoughtful silence.
In reply he tickled the gargoyle in the hallway, making it jump out of the way. "It's not supposed to do that, is it?" Lily wondered in amazement.
"Oh, no. I just figured it out."
"How—" she stopped. At least I didn't make the same mistake again, she thought. "You don't have to wait, you know."
"Of course I have to wait. Who else would be there to tell you to make a right?"
"I thought it was a left," Lily said, becoming completely mixed up.
"No, we took a left, so this time it's a right," James corrected. Lily had gotten so confused she couldn't even understand what he was saying. "I know you need me, I'll just wait."
"Suit yourself." She walked in, wondering if he really would stay or not. Probably not, he has the attention span of a five-year-old, she thought while grimacing. With girls, too, she added, the painful memory of Laura surfacing.
"Ms. Evans, why the sour look? Certainly you can't be that worried about the subject of our little chat tonight," Dumbledore said as she entered the room, he slightly teasing. Dad did that, she remembered, her smile completely wiped away now.
"Ah, Ms. Evans, you will be soon to learn that it is not best to dwell on the past. To learn from it—yes, to dwell on it—never."
"Of course, I understand." She was wondering if he was a mind-reader or something. Does he know what I'm thinking? Albus Dumbledore is an old fool, she tried for effect. He paid no attention. She hadn't really thought it would work.
"Now, speaking of learning from the past, Ms. Evans, I have made an unusual discovery," he said while reading over a letter of some sort. "About you." Lily wondered briefly if he found her painfully dense for some reason. 'About you,' honestly, I'm not a five-year-old. He shuffled the papers away, focusing intently on her now.
"I was obviously very upset when I had learned that you did magic over the summer."
"I really am sorry about that, but I didn't mean to, I promise," she said hurriedly.
"I know. I was even more surprised when I learned that it was wandless magic, Ms. Evans. Do you know the limitations of wandless magic?" The look on Lily's face was answer enough. "I see not. Well, there are rules, shall we say, to using wandless magic. Certain limitations are imposed on us by the properties of magic. At first, I thought you had defied all laws Ms. Evans."
"Me?" she uttered.
"At first," he repeated. "Do you recall what spell it is you used that you received the warning for?"
"Well, the ground just split open, I wasn't really paying attention," she confessed.
"Think, Lily." She tried to recall what about it was nudging at her mind. I know I recognize it… she tried to stifle a gasp as it came to her.
"Effracterum. It's the spell effracterum," she said.
"Yes, it was. And that's what makes this so important. This is why it couldn't be explained in a letter." She met his gaze firmly. "Wandless magic can only be accomplished when certain feelings reappear so strongly that they trigger a spell done previously in that state. Do you understand?"
"Yes," she said slowly, wondering exactly how much she knew. She had used that spell when Remus had chased her. Did he know?
"There are other circumstances, but they are beyond your competency, or even your comprehension." It wasn't an insult, but Lily sat speechless. "Last year, I was curious to find a fracture in the ground not far from the lake, or the school. It was a puzzle, but I filled it. So many missing pieces, Lily, there were so many. This summer supplied a few. I'm sure we don't need to confer on the rest," he said. "I'm not sure why it happened," he said, though Lily was sure he really was. "But this is very serious, you have to work on controlling your emotions. Just imagine what could happen if you let this happen again."
"I'll work on it, I promise."
"Your behavior shows an enormous lack of control. It surprised me, it worried me." Lily tried to keep her lip for trembling. "But it intrigued me. It shows you have enormous power, Lily. Not any wizard could perform wandless magic whenever they have a breakdown, whenever something becomes too much. You had an overflow of emotion. When that emotion, whether it be sadness, extreme joy, triumph—when it returns so strongly that you can't handle it the excess emotion comes out in the form of the spell done when you were feeling that way before."
"I understand." She wanted to say nothing that would jeopardize herself. "I wont put anyone else in danger again, I really wont."
"Lily, dear, this is about you. I don't think you understand. This could harm you, it could kill you, drain out so much life you wont have enough to let your heart beat. Do you understand?" She was meek, awed, and simply nodded.
She finally found her voice. "Dumbledore? What was wrong with the girl today?" He looked down.
"Not the girl, I'm afraid. But the Sorting Hat." She knew she might be pushing her luck with her next question, but she asked it anyway.
"What was wrong with the Hat?" Dumbledore just sighed.
"Fetch James from outside, he should hear too," he said with resignation. She wondered how he knew James was outside. Only with the small prompt of a questioning glance he said, "James is the only one that tickles my gargoyle. Everyone else needs a password, but that changes every week." As she got him she realized why James had smiled when Dumbledore had told him the password was the same. She found James still waiting outside when she got there. He stood up immediately when Lily got outside.
"Done already?" he asked nervously. Nervous about what? she wondered.
"No, Dumbledore wants to speak to us both." He followed her back inside and they both seated themselves.
"Both of you should be wondering about the events that happened at the Sorting today. Nothing like this has ever happened in the history of Hogwarts."
"What was wrong?" James asked making Dumbledore's eyes sparkled with mirth.
"Patience is a virtue, James," he said.
"I know," he said with a sigh. Lily's eyes met his momentarily.
"There was a strong Confundus Charm put in the Sorting Hat. So strong, I'm afraid, that it hasn't been able to be removed yet. It was placed in layers, layers for deceit and deception, layers enough to overlay the Hat's strong powers."
"At least the girl wasn't, well, at least there wasn't something really wrong with her," Lily said, remembering what the girls in the makeshift Gryffindor dorm had said.
"No, but someone had to be there to put on the spell, right Dumbledore?" James said. "There's an inside man at Hogwarts," he continued gloomily.
"I'm afraid that is the only thing left to conclude." She hadn't ever seen Dumbledore look so upset.
"What do we do?"
"Increase security, make examinations, stay alert. What more is there to do? I expect you two to both be on alert. Tell me anything you find suspicious, please. We need all the help we can get," he said seriously.
"How much will everyone else know?" James asked.
"I am still discussing that with Professor McGonagall. We will make an announcement tomorrow at dinner. My office is always open." They both knew that was their signal to leave. After exchanging goodbyes Lily and James left his office, both silent with worry.
Lily took a left.
James laughed.
"You're so nervous, what did he talk to you about anyway?"
"Oh, nothing." He looked sort of hurt.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
"James, it's complicated." It was a pathetic excuse, she knew.
"Fine, I have time."
"Listen James, when I actually have it all sorted out I'll tell you, I promise. It's just too much right now."
This idea seemed to appeal to him, or at least h figured out it was the best offer he was going to get. "I understand."
"Thanks." They reached the Common Room with no problems. Lily took no more wrong turns, James didn't show any more of his knowledge of the layout of the castle. Lily was safe.
Or so she thought.
* * *
She also thought that the night would become easier after she returned to the Common Room. She would have been able to go to sleep and rest. She could have let the troubles of the day drain away while she relaxed in her bed
But she wasn't that lucky.
Remus came rushing at her as soon as she entered. "Lily, have you seen Cecil?"
"You mean you haven't seen her yet?" Lily said, worry lines appearing in her forehead.
"No. I never found her after dinner. I looked, I needed to talk with her, but I couldn't find her anywhere."
"Not anywhere?" James said oddly, as if there was some underlying meaning. Remus nodded gravely and James was immediately upset. "Something is seriously wrong!" he said, not at all his usual calm self.
"Do you want me to check the girls' dorm?" Lily asked.
"She's not there," Remus answered simply.
"Maybe she just didn't answer, I'll go check."
"Listen, she's not there. I…er… had Evelyn check for me. She's not there."
"Okay, then, so what do we do?" James and Remus shared a look.
"Um, Lily?" Remus began slowly. "Maybe you should go in your dorm and make sure Cecil isn't there. She could have gotten in when I was checking the Great Hall again." Lily raised her eyebrows in doubt but went to check anyway, catching a bit of James and Remus' frantic whispers as she went to her dorm. She opened the door to find Evelyn unpacking silently.
"Ev, has Cecil been in here since Remus checked?"
"Huh?" Evelyn looked confused.
"Have you seen Cecil at all since the Sorting?"
"Oh, no," she said, hanging her dress robes up. "I thought there was a Prefect meeting or something." 'Or something' meaning comforting Laura, Evelyn thought, though she didn't say that to Lily. "I didn't pay much attention."
"Well if she comes back up tell me please. No one can find her." Evelyn jerked up.
"What? Do you need me to help? I can get someone, do… something. I don't know, I'll help though," Evelyn said full of worry.
"I think it'll be okay. I'm going to go back with Remus and James and check up. I'll tell you when we find her."
"Okay," Evelyn said with resignation. Lily left Evelyn in solitude and went back down to the Common Room.
"James? Remus?" she called. No one was there. Everyone must be settling in their dorms, she thought. It's creepy in here with no one around. She went up to the boys dorm to check if Remus and James were there. When she went in, though, they weren't there. So instead she just asked Sirius about them.
"Oh, they ran in here and left straight away," Sirius said. Lily didn't think she could rely on him for truthfulness. He noticed. "I swear by the fact that I'm a Marauder that I don't know anything else." He held up his left hand, Lily giggled.
"Sirius, the Marauder swear is 'I solemnly swear I am up to no good.' Find something else to swear on. Or better yet, tell me the truth," she said sweetly.
"Okay, okay. You got me. They came in here and grabbed the invisibility cloak. They mentioned Cecil, but that's all I know," he said. Lily believed him this time.
"They didn't say where they were going?" she probed.
"No, they just left in a hurry. That's all I know."
"Thanks Sirius." She left his dorm and went to wait in the Common Room. It was very, very late before James and Remus came back. The fire was dying, and they obviously still had the cloak on but Lily still managed to sneak up behind them. "You boys really are too full of yourselves for your own good." She whipped the cloak off, revealing two very shamefaced teenaged boys. Lily smirked happily, not noticing as James shoved something into Remus hands behind his back. "Now, tell me why you would make up a fake excuse to get me out of the Common Room and then leave me here?"
"I'll leave this one to you Prongs. See you later Lily." In a rush he left, leaving Lily and James alone on the Common Room.
"Care to explain yourself?" she asked, mildly upset.
"Um… Out for a midnight stroll?" he offered, making Lily smile.
"With Remus? I didn't think you swung that way, James," she said, grinning.
"Oh, I tried to convince Remus that I really wanted to go with you, but he wouldn't hear of it." Now James was the one smirking and Lily was speechless.
"What were you two doing?" she said, a desperate attempt to change the flow of the conversation.
"Next time you could come."
"James," she warned.
"Then we could ditch him."
"James."
"He wouldn't mind…much."
"James!"
"And then we could do whatever we want," he waggled his eyebrows.
"James!!!" she screeched, laughing, trying to hide the blush. Thank goodness the fire is low, she thought. "I'm sorry I brought it up. Now, back to my question."
"What question?"
"You know very well what question. Stop stalling!"
"You accuse me of lying! I am deeply hurt, you cut across my heart," he said drastically. She ignored it.
"Fine, I'll ask again. What were you doing, and why did you need to do it without me?"
"Oh, that? Cant tell." Quickly he grabbed the cloak back. "See you tomorrow." He grinned again and left. Lily stomped her foot in frustration.
Damn that James Potter! she thought angrily as she watched him leave.
But he left her as he often left her, with a great big smile across her face.
* * *
Lily woke early the next morning and looked directly to Cecil's bed. It was empty. Laura's was empty too. She groaned in desperation.
"Lily, what is it?" Evelyn asked sleepily.
"Both our roommates are gone, that's what. Nobody's seen them since dinner."
"I saw Laura," Evelyn said, more to her pillow than anything else.
"You did? When?"
"Right after dinner. She ran in, ran out, and I haven't seen her since." Evelyn was really in no mood to mince words for Lily's sake at this point. She should just get used to the fact that Laura despises her right about now, she thought.
"Um… Did she say anything?" Lily asked apprehensively.
"She was crying. But she blubbered about James a bit more," Evelyn said with a yawn. While Lily had been seated at her Head Girl spot Evelyn had endured the Sorting fiasco sitting right next to Laura. Her patience only stretched so far. Lily noticed and backed off. She didn't blame Laura for disliking her, she blamed James. But just thinking about him, he seemed so… un-blamable. She quickly got dressed and headed downstairs, checking bathrooms and classrooms as she went, stopping at the Owlery on the way to write a short letter to Mrs. Delann letting her know she had arrived at Hogwarts safely. Mrs. Delann had been oddly cautious of Lily ever since the visit to Diagon Alley. Lily couldn't help but guess that Mrs. Delann had guessed that something had happened during her absence. Lily was just taking precautions to prevent any awkward questions. And on the way back she saw no sign of her two friends either. She was almost completely discouraged when she returned to the Common Room.
Lily could hear her before she could see her. She had semi-choked breath, her tears were probably all dried up. Laura's normally perfect hair was somewhat mussed, Lily wondered where she had slept. It would have been easy for Lily to walk up to her dorm without Laura noticing. It would have been easy to ignore the problem entirely.
But she didn't. She walked tentatively up to her. "Laura," she said softly, "could I talk to you please."
No answer.
"I know you don't want to, but I have to explain something to you." She wrung her hands nervously.
Still silence. Lily continued anyways.
"This might not seem to help, but I just have to say it. I knew that James didn't really, well, fully reciprocate your feelings. I tried to tell him that what he was doing was wrong, that he was leading you on." Tears streamed down Laura's face. She wasn't completely dried up after all. "James promised he would end it with you, to stop it before it went any further." Tears stung at the corners of Lily's eyes too, for some reason. "He couldn't seem to understand why I cared about you so much," she added with a wry smile. "He had this twisted thought that you and I weren't friends." Laura looked up at Lily.
"Why did you care so much? You didn't have to." Her voice cracked, making Lily fully aware of the tumult passing through her.
"When it comes down to my friends, nothing is more important. You are all I have left," Lily answered simply.
"You still didn't have to."
"And what if I hadn't? James would have put it off, you would have been hurt more. I didn't want to see another person hurt. I didn't want to see someone hurt when I could have done something about it." The realization of what she had just said hit her. I didn't kill them, she thought shakily. It wasn't me… Lily gulped audibly, trying to control the rush of emotions that was flooding her, she didn't want a small canyon to split through the Common Room. Laura could tell Lily was upset, though.
"You know that your parents' deaths weren't your fault," she said softly, the first real sentence she had managed without spluttering because of her tears. "Or at least you should know," she added. Lily beamed. She had never felt so grateful to have Laura as a friend.
"Thanks."
"You too." They both smiled, tears still sliding down their cheeks. Each was aware of what had just passed. And in just the same way both understood that they would never speak of it again.
* * *
Still happy from her reconciliation with Laura, Lily didn't notice Cecil's absence until dinner that night. Some friend I am, she thought. But truly, Lily didn't see Cecil that many times during the day, they each took different elective classes, and the required ones were large, working with assigned partners. But still, guilt nagged at her, driving Lily almost up the wall with frustration. Her other friends hadn't taken much notice to her absence either, they all sat rather contentedly around her at the table.
"Still no sign?" Remus asked her worriedly, though quietly.
"No, nothing! I just don't know where she is," Lily said just as sadly.
"Who?" Sirius wanted to know. "It isn't Laura is it? She isn't still moping around after James, is she?" he said as if disgusted with the thought of anyone wanting to mope around after James. Lily laughed.
"Oh no, she's fine. She just had to talk with a teacher, I think. Something like that. It was Malchite, I think," she said, naming the Charms teacher.
"Its Cecil," Remus said, still distressed.
"Cecil?" Sirius exclaimed with a tremor in his voice. Lily realized Sirius really must have been telling the truth last night, he really had no idea that Cecil had been missing.
"Yes," said Evelyn from beside Lily. "She never came back after dinner last night."
"But this is serious, we should do something," James added.
"I've checked everywhere," Lily said in exasperation. "And I'm guessing your little midnight stroll with Remus didn't get any information, either," she added, trying to make him squirm.
"I don't know what you're talking about," he answered, stuffing a piece of bread in his mouth to prevent having to answer further and explain himself to the others, Remus especially, who had a queer, sick, look on his face.
"Couldn't you ask Dumbledore?" Peter added thoughtfully, breaking the silence. "You are Head Girl, Lily, and this certainly does qualify as a problem, I should think. People just don't disappear."
"Maybe we should, Lil. He's bound to tell us where she is," James said, agreeing with Peter.
"We don't even know if she isn't just somewhere else on the grounds. You have gone missing before, though it was mostly for pranking, I know, but we shouldn't just go running to him with the smallest problem."
"I know you want to seem capable, but Cecil is not on the grounds. How many times do I have to tell you!"
"And how many times do I have to ask you how you know?!"
"You never stay around long enough to hear the answer."
"Do to."
"Do not."
"Last night."
"The night before."
"Fine. I'm staying now. Tell me," she ordered, quite mad at the whole discussion. Her friends, however, found this amusing.
"Can't."
"What? James, stop it right now. You said you would tell me," Lily growled.
"But now I don't want to," he said with a self-satisfied smirk. Sirius laughed and whispered something to James, who immediately raised his eyebrows and sent his friend a questioning glance. "Maybe I'll tell you later," James added slowly.
"You'll tell me now, or I'll just ask Dumbledore." Her ultimatum didn't even make him flinch.
"Okay, I'll go with you." He got up from the table while Lily still sat there open-mouthed. I'll never understand how he manages to get the better of me, she thought. He offered her a hand up and she took it. As soon as she was up they both started walking towards the Head Table.
"So, James, should I ask Dumbledore why you seem to know so much?" she asked, trying to unnerve him. If it was working, though, she certainly wasn't aware of it.
"He wouldn't know either. He'd just think you were a little tipsy, probably," he said thoughtfully.
"James," she said reproachfully. "I just don't understand why you can't trust me."
"Why don't you trust me?" he countered.
"I do, though!" she said, because she really did.
"Then trust me that I know what I'm doing and I'm not making it up." Lily knew that James wasn't about to tell, not now, anyway. It irked her, knowing he had a secret. "Should we ask Dumbledore about Cecil anyway? Just to see if there is anything we can do?" he continued.
"Well, were almost there as it is," Lily answered half-heartedly. It was hard to make your way up to the front of the Great Hall from all the way in the back where the seventh years usually sat. They now had just made it up to the foot of the Head Table. "We might as well." With her consent they both walked up behind Dumbledore's seat. Before they got to him, however, he turned to look at them.
"Ah, yes, Lily and James, I've been wondering when you would come and see me," he said knowingly.
"You—you did?" Lily stuttered.
"Of course. I understand you are worried for your friend, but Cecil is in safe hands, I assure you."
"Is there a way we can see her?" James asked, knowing Lily wouldn't remember to ask.
"Sadly, no. She is off the grounds currently. I'm afraid there isn't any way for you to contact her either," he answered, the faintest hint of distress showing on his face.
"When will she be back?" Lily questioned.
"Again, I'm afraid there is no way for me to tell you that, Ms. Aveneere will be back soon, however," he added, though it was odd to hear Cecil referred to by her last name, Aveneere. Cecil really detested that name, it was Old French or something, and Cecil couldn't speak a word of the language which always lead to annoying questioning. Lily was just glad to be stuck with normal old Evans. "Cecil will be back with you soon, I promise."
Lily and James both nodded, relieved. "Maybe you should tell everyone else that, I know that they are all as worried are," Lily cautiously advised.
"And maybe an update on the situation with Genna, too. Squashing the rumors about her might be a good thing to do," James added.
"Both are wise opinions. Perhaps I could write out something to post in each house, or maybe I will make an announcement tomorrow at dinner if they aren't back yet," Dumbledore agreed. "I will think about it. Until then, I thank you for bringing this to my attention," he said, making Lily smile. "Maybe next time you have something important to tell me, though, you could wait until after dinner," he finished with a twinkle in his eye.
"We'll remember next time," James assured him.
"Of course, I can't expect you both to know everything right off the bat," Dumbledore replied.
"I would hope not!" Lily said.
"Knowing everything off the start would defeat the purpose of learning, of life. What would be the point then, if one knew all, and was never given the chance to learn or grow?" Dumbledore was a bit too philosophical a bit too quickly for either James or Lily to come up with an appropriate response. "I see we are done here, then. I will inform you of anything as it happens." He stood up, folded his napkin, and left.
"Well, that was interesting," Lily commented.
"Strange, you mean," James said.
"The last part, yes, but the part about Cecil, that was useful."
"I just wish he had told us more, that's all," James said.
"I know, I feel like something is just missing," Lily agreed. "We should tell everyone what's happened. Let's go," she said, and they walked back to their table, where everyone was getting up to leave and head back up to the library for studying. The professors had started off straight away with a lot of new material and all the seventh years had many, many things to look up. It was warily foreboding for the year to come, but everyone set to work. Sitting down at one of the library tables Lily realized she had forgotten her DADA book and quickly headed back up to her dorm room to get it, not wanting to waste any time. She was jogging through the corridor in the girls half of Gryffindor when she heard a sniffle coming from one of the rooms, the first-year dorm, oddly enough. Lily paused, contemplating whether to continue or look inside. You are the Head Girl, that makes others your responsibility, she told herself, slowly opening the door to the dark dorm. Lily remembered this dorm, it had seemed larger as a first year, then again, she was smaller then. On one of the beds lay a small girl, sniffling, all alone. For one moment Lily had hoped it was Cecil before recalling her talk with Dumbledore.
Then she realized, this was the one first-year who had been Sorted, the one child that had gotten through before the Hat had to be taken away for fixing. Lily did remember hearing one child be Sorted, and now this girl was all alone. She must have been in here all afternoon, Lily thought sadly. And all last night, too. As much as the 'Gryffindor' girls didn't seem to get along, Lily knew that they were probably comforted just being with each other. Slowly she approached the small child who had her head buried in a pillow. Without saying a word she patted the girl's back softly and brushed the hair from her wet eyes. She remembered how, not too long ago, James had done the same for her. The girl's crying soon subsided and she pulled herself up, immediately embarrassed at the situation.
"Feeling better?" she asked, and the girl nodded. She had curly, dirty blond ringlets that she was trying to hold back up with her headband that had fallen out.
"Thanks," she mumbled.
"It's no problem, everyone is nervous or scared when they start. I'm not sure I would have been happy to be in a dorm all alone at the beginning of the year."
"Its not that bad, I guess. The others will come back soon though, wont they?" she asked hopefully.
"They should, at least Dumbledore thinks so," Lily reassured her. "But if you want to talk, or need help, I'm right next door, seventh year dorm, ask for Lily." The girl's smile brightened.
"Thanks. And I'm Emily," she added.
"Well, I have a lot of studying to do, I have got to get back to the Library. But is there anything else you want to talk about? Or something you need?" she asked.
"No, I'm okay, really. I just don't like to be alone, is all," she said, making Lily's heart ache. I'd be a monster to leave her here alone, she thought, wondering what she could do.
"I could see if you could stay with the temporary Gryffindors until they are Sorted if you want," she offered. Emily's eyes widened.
"Oh, no. You don't have to do that. I've survived one night, a few more won't matter," she said, trying to be strong. Lily recognized this and grinned.
"Okay, but only if you're sure."
"I'm sure, I promise," Emily replied eagerly.
"Okay, then. I'll see you tomorrow, Emily."
"Bye, Lily!"
"Goodnight, Emily," she answered, shutting the door again. She didn't know how odd it was for Emily to hear those words, or how normal it was for her to be alone. But at that moment Emily was happy, happier than she had been in awhile, and Lily just continued down the corridor to fetch her DADA book. It was going to be a long night.
And it was. And so was the next night, and the next. By dinner the day after that Lily was on the edge of doing a face-plant in her soup, she could barely manage to hold her head up off the table.
"Teachers are bloody boggarts," Sirius complained, vexed at being forced to work so hard.
"What do you mean by that?" Evelyn asked tiredly.
"They epitomize everything I am afraid of: work, work, and more work." Lily laughed, Sirius wasn't making sense. But then again, if Lily tried to venture a comment she would probably end up sounding just as stupid. Her brain was fried, and she decidedly closed her mouth tightly as her friends all started to chatter. They didn't notice Dumbledore and McGonagall (who was holding a much more tattered version of the Sorting Hat, Lily guessed taking off the spells hadn't been easy) walk to the front of the Great Hall.
"Attention, attention everyone!" he called, silencing everyone extremely quickly. "Four days ago, when the Sorting Hat malfunctioned a girl was declared not worthy of Hogwarts. But that has all been fixed, and now the Sorting Ceremony will recommence. Before we start, however, I would like to stress that what happened before will not happen again, and in no way will you be assigned to the wrong house, do you understand?" he asked to the first-years.
"As I read your name from the list please come to the front of the room and put on the hat. Then please go to the table of your house and assume your place there for the rest of the year. Thank you." She rustled the stack of papers she held, searching for the list of names. "Aveneere, Genna," she called, and Lily gasped, her jaw that had been closed so tightly very nearly dropped to the floor. Her friends were soon to follow.
"Cecil's sister?" James asked, whispering. Lily nodded, though still intently watching the girl walk up to the Hat. She was practically shaking. As she moved one trembling hand to pick up the Sorting Hat the tattered flap of a mouth opened.
"A thousand long years it's been since my making,
When thoughtful construction of me was taken.
Since then I've never made one mistake,
If I lie, then I swear my brain you may take.
Four days ago folly was in my stead,
For someone had strongly confounded my head.
So never fear now, be not afraid,
Try me on and see of what you are made."
No clapping followed, just a solemn silence. McGonagall had pursed lips, probably at the hint at the Confundus Charm that had been placed on the Hat. Genna looked even more terrified than before, Lily could only guess what was going through her head. With a new conviction the girl reached out for the hat and plunked it on her head. Lily crossed her fingers and began to shut her eyes, but the moment they were closed the Hat bellowed "GRYFFINDOR!!!"
The whole Gryffindor table jumped up in cheers, and Cecil, who Lily hadn't even noticed standing in the corner near the back of the room, obviously waiting to see if her sister's sorting was successful, ran over to the Gryffindor table where she met her sister and they exchanged a large hug. Lily and her friends almost had to form a line, for they all nearly pounced on her when they saw her. Evelyn, for one, let out a loud shriek of Cecil's name and flung her arms around her neck.
"Cecil Aveneere!" Laura called. "Don't you scare me by disappearing like that ever again!" Another pair of arms was around Cecil's neck. Lily, on the opposite side of the table, jumped up and walked over the table to get to her friend.
"I missed you," Lily said tearfully. "I couldn't believe that you had left!" She was attempting to quiet down, McGonagall could only tolerate so much, but it was hard.
"You know Genna needed me," Cecil answered. "I'll tell you all about it later, I promise."
"You better," Evelyn threatened playfully. They all sat back down, squishing into a spot much too small for all four of them, Genna on Cecil's lap. The girls, who had been perhaps a bit excessive in their 'welcome back' made up for the boys' lack of emotion in the area. They were boys, boys don't do that. At least not in front of large crowds.
They whispered, or attempted to, all through the Sorting, not paying a whit of attention. They clapped when other Gryffindors did and at the end when the Sorting was finally over.
Lily quickly led the new first years up to the portrait of the Fat Lady with Remus, hardly stopping to look at them. Lily was glad that Emily would finally have some company. For now, however, Lily just wanted to be with her friends. When she had given them the password and led them up the girls dormitory, passing her friends waiting in the Common Room, she finally took the time to actually look at the girls. There was Genna, of course, and Emily tagging along with them, but there were more familiar faces than just that. Clarice, Katie, and Alexis were all there as well. For a moment Lily looked abashed at not recognizing them earlier, but they had looked different in the half-dark with nightgowns on, and she mostly knew them by their voices. She wasn't surprised to see Alexis, Lily had thought her to be a Gryffindor. But she had also thought Katie a Hufflepuff, and Clarice a Ravenclaw. Belatedly Lily realized the Sorting Hat must have a tougher job than she had thought.
"Well, everyone, here is your room," she said as she opened the door, ushering them in. Katie was the last one in, walking with a sour look on her face. Lily stopped her with a hand to the girls shoulder. "Gryffindor really isn't that bad, Katie. Each house has their good and bad points. I'm sorry that you didn't get into Huffelpuff, though," she added.
"Its okay, I guess," Katie sighed. "It's just that Thomas wanted me to be a Hufflepuff so badly. I don't really mind. Besides, I like Clarice and Alexis. Emily, too." Lily dubiously raised her eyebrows.
"Yeah," said Alexis suddenly, jumping in front of the door and making Lily flinch. "She isn't that bad either."
Lily said goodbye and left, grinning. That's sure to be one lively dorm, Lily though as she hurried to the Common Room where everyone else was waiting. Cecil had everyone's attention as she explained her story.
"As soon as it happened I ran straight to Genna as fast as I could. She was ever so nervous about Hogwarts this year and my heart just broke when the Hat yelled at her. Dumbledore led both of us away, I think he guessed that I was the only one who could keep Genna calm. Dumbledore seemed to know exactly what happened. You all figured out about the Confundus Charm, right? Well, Dumbledore immediately assigned Professor Malchite to trying to break it. There was no luck at first. Three days Genna and I waited for the Hat to be fixed, and finally Dumbledore went to the Hat personally. That night he fixed it, and now we're back," Cecil finished as if it were a simple story. Lily knew it wasn't though.
"Where were you all that time when you had left?" Peter asked despite the glares the other boys were sending.
"We went home. Genna really needed us all there, I think. And that's why it took so long to get back here. We went through an… odd… passage," she finished, and Remus looked away.
"Well, I'm just glad you're back," Sirius said, and everyone clamored in their agreement. Cecil had to go check with her professors to get caught up in all her classes, but for everyone else it was a wonderful break from all the homework they had been doing all week. They had all weekend to finish it now, and they all appreciated the break. For the first time in what seemed like an eternity Lily settled down early for a long night of rest.
It seemed like only moments after her head had hit the pillow before she heard a scream, a terrified shriek reverberating against the walls. She jumped up and rushed out of her room. She knew where it was coming from: the first-year dorm, and she knew that something was terribly, terribly wrong.