Here is chapter two, "JOANNA SCOWLING"! I'm happy that I already have 1
review. I'm a complete newbie at FF.net, if you're interested. You're not?
Oh well, than I'll give you some story!
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CHAPTER TWO: JOANNA SCOWLING
When Lord Potter had read all the remaining letters (they were all bills actually), suddenly someone knocked the door. "Who's there", Lord Potter said suspiciously, grabbing his wand. "It's me, dear cousin, Dudley!", a voice behind the door said. Lord Potter sighed. That Dudley fellow was really starting to bug him. Today, Dudley held the door open for him FOUR TIMES and this wasn't all: Dudley actually offered Harry HIS plate of bacon and eggs! The fool! Lord Potter said: "What do you want?" Dudley said: "I just wanted to check if my favourite cousin was OK!" Lord Potter grinned. This could be fun... "You may come in, fatso", he said in a... you can guess it... EVIL way.
Dudley came in. "Hello, Harry!" Lord Potter gave him an angry look. "Didn't I say I don't wish to be called like that?" Dudley fell on his knees. "I'm so sorry, Almighty Lord Potter! What can I do to make you forgive me?" Lord Potter grinned evil. "Well, I know SOME good curses, so..." Dudley cried. "Whatever makes you feel better, dear cousin! Let me suffer for my crimes!" Lord Potter grinned and was going to curse Dudley, when his victim's eyes widened. "Har - I mean Lord Potter - someone is floating in front of the window!" "WHAT?!", Lord Potter yelled furiously as he turned around. Joanne fortunately could fly away before Lord Potter could see her. Potter ran to the window and looked around, but saw nothing. "Oh, I understand", Lord Potter whispered.
Dudley went white. "W-what d-d-do you mean, Almighty Lord P-Potter?" "I mean", Lord Potter said, "that you told me there was someone floating in front of the window, so you could run away as I turned around. CHICKEN!" Dudley sputtered: "But Almighty Lord Potter... I'd never do such a thing... never! May I turn into a bouncing ferret if I'd commit a horrible crime like that!" Lord Potter grinned. "That's a good idea, actually", he said, when he pulled out his wand. "Uh-oh", Dudley said. "Me and my big mouth..." And then, Lord Potter turned him into a bouncing ferret. He laughed when the fatso bounced out of the window. He thought of a incident with Draco Malfoy of last year, in wich there was also a bouncing ferret involved.
"I know", Lord Potter said to himself, "I'm not allowed to do magic during the holidays, but hey, you can do anything using blackmail. MWAHAHAHA!" During the good mood of Lord Potter, Joanne knocked the door of Privet Drive number four. She would ask Harry if she could become a member of his evil little fanclub. Then, she would take the job of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, so she could spy on the little brat all year! After a minute, Petunia Dursley opened the door.
"Hello", she said warmly. "How can I help you, dear?" Joanne said: "I am... er..." She couldn't say her real name, because she was too famous. "I'm Joanna Scowling, and I've come to see Lord Potter. I heard lots of your cousin and I... er... am interested in his *evil* plans!" Petunia said: "Isn't Harry a great boy? Smart, well behaved, handsome... and he has followers already! I'm telling you, one day, he will be a famous evil mastermind! I'll call him for you, Joanna dear. HARRY!!!" Harry yelled angrily: "I-don't-want-to-be-called-that!!!" Petunia whispered: "See? He's a boy that stands up for himself... he wants to be treated with respect! If only our Dudley could be a bit more like him..." And then she called to Harry: "I'm sorry, Almighty Lord Potter, dear! But there is someone here who would like to see you! It's Joanna Scowling, and she is interested in your diabolical plans!" Harry yelled: "She can come upstairs and see me! And by the way - thank you for giving me the word "diabolical". Now I don't have to say "evil" all the time!"
"Thank you", Joanna whispered to Petunia when she climbed the staircases. When she was upstairs, she knocked on Lord Potter's bedroom door. "Come in", the voice behind the door said. Joanna opened the door. Lord Potter was sitting, staring out of the window with his back to Joanna. When he noticed her, he stood up, turned around, and said: "Well well. Another fool fell to the ev- I mean diabolical- feet of LORD POTTER!" Joanna said: "I am willing to be your loyal servant". She had to play this good. Lord Potter said: "Well, Scowling, my loyal servant, where could I use you for? How do you fit in my evil plans..." He thought for a while and then whispered: "Yes... say, Scowling, do you know anything of Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Joanna lied: "Oh yes, I know all about it!" Lord Potter smiled diabolical. "Well, how do you like it if you take the job of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher on Hogwarts, so that you can spy on that old fool Dumbledore and you can work together with my evil gamekeeper, Hagrid..." Joanna said: "Whatever you wish, Almighty Lord... MWAHAHAHA!"
Lord Potter said: "I'm glad to see that you are so - er -glad to take the job, Scowling, but PLEASE CUT OFF THE MWAHAHAHA! It's for evil Lords only, you know... now, I think it's time that we go to Hogwarts... tomorrow it's 1 september, and before that day you need to take the job of teacher! Weasley, Granger and Longbottom, my most diabolical followers, are already on Hogwarts - that old fool Dumbledore thinks they are there to help Hagrid to prepare for the new year! Ridiculous eh? They're preparing something alright, but it is something far more exciting than lessons Care for Magical Creatures... MWAHAHAHA! Okay, do you have a broomstick?" Joanna Scowling showed the Snaky Broom Four Hundred she got from her friend Voldy Mort (that's his real name!). "Excellent", Lord Potter said. "Let's take our stuff and fly over to Hogwarts... now, it's just my school, but in a few months, it's my property! MWAHA... er, that's enough evil laughing for the time being..." And with that, Joanna Scowling and Lord Potter prepared their trip to Hogwarts. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Isn't it wonderful? Dudley's a bouncing ferret and Joanne is Lord Potter's evil follower. It's going to be exciting! Chapter 3 is coming up soon!
When Lord Potter had read all the remaining letters (they were all bills actually), suddenly someone knocked the door. "Who's there", Lord Potter said suspiciously, grabbing his wand. "It's me, dear cousin, Dudley!", a voice behind the door said. Lord Potter sighed. That Dudley fellow was really starting to bug him. Today, Dudley held the door open for him FOUR TIMES and this wasn't all: Dudley actually offered Harry HIS plate of bacon and eggs! The fool! Lord Potter said: "What do you want?" Dudley said: "I just wanted to check if my favourite cousin was OK!" Lord Potter grinned. This could be fun... "You may come in, fatso", he said in a... you can guess it... EVIL way.
Dudley came in. "Hello, Harry!" Lord Potter gave him an angry look. "Didn't I say I don't wish to be called like that?" Dudley fell on his knees. "I'm so sorry, Almighty Lord Potter! What can I do to make you forgive me?" Lord Potter grinned evil. "Well, I know SOME good curses, so..." Dudley cried. "Whatever makes you feel better, dear cousin! Let me suffer for my crimes!" Lord Potter grinned and was going to curse Dudley, when his victim's eyes widened. "Har - I mean Lord Potter - someone is floating in front of the window!" "WHAT?!", Lord Potter yelled furiously as he turned around. Joanne fortunately could fly away before Lord Potter could see her. Potter ran to the window and looked around, but saw nothing. "Oh, I understand", Lord Potter whispered.
Dudley went white. "W-what d-d-do you mean, Almighty Lord P-Potter?" "I mean", Lord Potter said, "that you told me there was someone floating in front of the window, so you could run away as I turned around. CHICKEN!" Dudley sputtered: "But Almighty Lord Potter... I'd never do such a thing... never! May I turn into a bouncing ferret if I'd commit a horrible crime like that!" Lord Potter grinned. "That's a good idea, actually", he said, when he pulled out his wand. "Uh-oh", Dudley said. "Me and my big mouth..." And then, Lord Potter turned him into a bouncing ferret. He laughed when the fatso bounced out of the window. He thought of a incident with Draco Malfoy of last year, in wich there was also a bouncing ferret involved.
"I know", Lord Potter said to himself, "I'm not allowed to do magic during the holidays, but hey, you can do anything using blackmail. MWAHAHAHA!" During the good mood of Lord Potter, Joanne knocked the door of Privet Drive number four. She would ask Harry if she could become a member of his evil little fanclub. Then, she would take the job of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, so she could spy on the little brat all year! After a minute, Petunia Dursley opened the door.
"Hello", she said warmly. "How can I help you, dear?" Joanne said: "I am... er..." She couldn't say her real name, because she was too famous. "I'm Joanna Scowling, and I've come to see Lord Potter. I heard lots of your cousin and I... er... am interested in his *evil* plans!" Petunia said: "Isn't Harry a great boy? Smart, well behaved, handsome... and he has followers already! I'm telling you, one day, he will be a famous evil mastermind! I'll call him for you, Joanna dear. HARRY!!!" Harry yelled angrily: "I-don't-want-to-be-called-that!!!" Petunia whispered: "See? He's a boy that stands up for himself... he wants to be treated with respect! If only our Dudley could be a bit more like him..." And then she called to Harry: "I'm sorry, Almighty Lord Potter, dear! But there is someone here who would like to see you! It's Joanna Scowling, and she is interested in your diabolical plans!" Harry yelled: "She can come upstairs and see me! And by the way - thank you for giving me the word "diabolical". Now I don't have to say "evil" all the time!"
"Thank you", Joanna whispered to Petunia when she climbed the staircases. When she was upstairs, she knocked on Lord Potter's bedroom door. "Come in", the voice behind the door said. Joanna opened the door. Lord Potter was sitting, staring out of the window with his back to Joanna. When he noticed her, he stood up, turned around, and said: "Well well. Another fool fell to the ev- I mean diabolical- feet of LORD POTTER!" Joanna said: "I am willing to be your loyal servant". She had to play this good. Lord Potter said: "Well, Scowling, my loyal servant, where could I use you for? How do you fit in my evil plans..." He thought for a while and then whispered: "Yes... say, Scowling, do you know anything of Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Joanna lied: "Oh yes, I know all about it!" Lord Potter smiled diabolical. "Well, how do you like it if you take the job of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher on Hogwarts, so that you can spy on that old fool Dumbledore and you can work together with my evil gamekeeper, Hagrid..." Joanna said: "Whatever you wish, Almighty Lord... MWAHAHAHA!"
Lord Potter said: "I'm glad to see that you are so - er -glad to take the job, Scowling, but PLEASE CUT OFF THE MWAHAHAHA! It's for evil Lords only, you know... now, I think it's time that we go to Hogwarts... tomorrow it's 1 september, and before that day you need to take the job of teacher! Weasley, Granger and Longbottom, my most diabolical followers, are already on Hogwarts - that old fool Dumbledore thinks they are there to help Hagrid to prepare for the new year! Ridiculous eh? They're preparing something alright, but it is something far more exciting than lessons Care for Magical Creatures... MWAHAHAHA! Okay, do you have a broomstick?" Joanna Scowling showed the Snaky Broom Four Hundred she got from her friend Voldy Mort (that's his real name!). "Excellent", Lord Potter said. "Let's take our stuff and fly over to Hogwarts... now, it's just my school, but in a few months, it's my property! MWAHA... er, that's enough evil laughing for the time being..." And with that, Joanna Scowling and Lord Potter prepared their trip to Hogwarts. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Isn't it wonderful? Dudley's a bouncing ferret and Joanne is Lord Potter's evil follower. It's going to be exciting! Chapter 3 is coming up soon!