((Please forgive the short and crappy second chapter and the time it'll be until the third is up...since SATS are ThursdayO.o Though I tend to wonder how many people are gonna care...^_^;;; Thank you Hannah for giving me the inspiration I needed to get writing again! *huggles her to death* Ok, enough of me, bai bai!))
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Quistis couldn't help fidgeting in her seat. The cabin was so just so oppressively silent. Another glance outside confirmed the fact that the sky was still there, the clouds still passed by, the world hadn't simply stopped and fallen.....no matter how much her heart screamed otherwise.
A ghost of a reflection gazed back at her with ravaged eyes. Shutting the window cover with a snap, she settled back in her seat and tried again to just be still. The Ragnorak hummed and thrummed through her...steady...constant....until it became almost maddening. She needed to DO something.
Anything.
Just ONE thing that would calm the anxiety rising within her from the dismal realization of her inability....to....to....effect anything at all! There was nothing she or anyone else could do to help Ellone. Always before there had been SOME course of action, that though the chances might be slim-to-none, at least they were out there, fighting for even that!
But there was nothing. No physical manifestation to save her from. Just grief....and eventual acceptance.
Flicking her shadowed eyes over her comrades, she noted the same kind of infuriating stigma that had her in its grip. Caged, disheveled, and silent, they dotted the cabin with dark blue uniforms and somber black dresses. Regardless of the occasion, all the men looked dashing in their SeeD regalia, especially Squall. Quistis couldn't help loving the way he wore that uniform. The shade of it brought out the blue in his eyes until he was almost sinful to look at.
Resting against him was Rinoa, who had a sumptuous little black number on that went down to right below her knees, but was slit practically to the navel. Selphie, a few seats away in the front, couldn't have looked sweeter in the frilly charcoal dress she was wearing with sparkling jet beads laced into every seam. Seifer and Zell sat at opposite sides of the plane, each staring blankly out their windows. The shock of the news had obviously severly dampered their usual "out-going" personalitites. Neither of them had spoken a word since the meeting. Irvine sat reclining at the far back of the plane with his hat tipped down over his face. Matron and Cid were the only ones who seemed to have any life in them since she could make out their soft murmerings coming from behind.
Her idle gaze strayed back to the covered window and then fell onto her lap. Quistis, on the other hand, had a hard time finding anything appropriate for what Cid had deemed "the following festivity". Never before had she heard a phrase more raped of its meaning.
After a feverish raid of her own small closet to find nothing more than a pair of jeans and the origin of 'that smell', she quickly found Matron and explained her problem. She needed something.... in black ....that would look very proper.
She didn't know where Matron got her definition of proper, but she'd wager an older brother was an influence. The dress itself was just a strapless swatch of lovely dark fabric that seemed to hug every curve. Even though it was so long it trailed on the floor, she still managed to feel practically naked. Not considering the bare shoulders or dipping neckline.... After only giving herself a cursory glance in the mirror, Quistis immediately begged for a black coat to wear over it.
Tugging at the hem, she peered down at her leather boots, which for some reason made her feel a little better. At least part of her felt the same. No one commented on her dress...or why it was covered. The last thing she needed was some kind of smirking remark from Seifer or a pathetically lame line from Irvine.
Dropping the sedate train with a soft rustle, she fell back into her seat and closed her eyes. Quistis hadn't even exhaled before she was there...smiling at her...
Ellone always seemed like she was smiling. Softly...with a hint of sadness caught in her dark hazel eyes. Her hair was the deep, deep brown of the earth after it rained... Her voice was always so lilting and calming... Ellone exuded a gentle, stable strength. She gave them unity and courage when they needed it most. And she was going to leave them ....all over again.
She could almost remember... but it was so faded....like an old scratchy movie, blurred, shakey, and worn. Damn GFs... there were times when she would give anything to have her whole childhood back and not just half-lit snippets.
But she could see...rain...and Squall...so little but still taller than her...and he was crying.... her hands clasped around something hidden and precious.... she reached out to his shoulder....and....
Her head hurt. With a shake she opened her eyes and turned towards the window, flipping the visor up. Desperately grasping at the frayed ends of her thoughts, she watched as the world slowly blurred over and fell down her cheeks.
All too soon, Quistis felt the airship start to descend and her heart leapt into her throat.
They were there.
Docking took an annoyingly short time. She had this irrational hope that if she never set foot on Esthar, never saw Ellone, she wouldn't die. Quistis knew this was nonsense, but she couldn't help dreading having to see Sis one last time.
Silently, her head bowed, Quistis waited in her seat long enough to give everyone time to file out. She just needed a moment alone before having to face this. She knew she was stalling, but she didn't care. The second she left that seat it would all become too real. Too final. And she would have to say goodbye...
After contemplating the ceiling for some time, Quistis quietly stood and started towards the door. She hadn't taken three steps before a light hand on her shoulder made her jump. Whirling around, she was surprised to face Matron who wore a tenderly sad expression.
"Alone again?", she inquired, her voice laced with meaning.
Quistis hesitated.
"....Yes", she choked out softly.
Matron opened her arms to her and the shaken woman fell into them. She held her softly as Quistis sobbed into her shoulder, understanding and silent. Eventually, the tide of emotion ebbed and quited and they stood there together...just drawing comfort from the other.
"Quistis... ", she whispered "I'm sorry...."
Her tone was layered, but she didn't care. Quistis held her a little tighter before stepping back, her eyes dry and her heart a little stronger.
"I'm ready, Matron."
She nodded and they silently walked out together. The usually impressive spectacle of the bright lights and flash of the mechanical city went unnoticed and unappreciated. They hadn't gone far before catching up with everyone else. With a reassuring glance, Matron left her and drifted to Cid's side.
Kiros and Ward had been waiting for them at the airstation. Quistis took in their haggard faces and knew that they would all be wearing that same expression by the end of the day.
"...Ellone has been waiting for all of you. The palace's medical bay is this way."
Quistis had never heard Kiros speak so monotonously, so utterly devoid of his usual spark and wit.
Ward tapped him on the shoulder and looked into his eyes.
"....."
Kiros glanced at him.
"Oh yes, Quistis, please don't enter with everyone else. She wishes to speak with you last."
Everyone turned questioning eyes toward her, but she had nothing to answer them with but her own bewildered expression.
-----
Quistis fidgeted in her chair within the pale, sterile waiting room and watched the second-hand on the clock move. She never realized how annoyingly apt the name of that room really was. Chewing distractedly ar her lower lip, Quistis anxiously glanced at the door for the hundredth time and tried to discern what they were saying. And for the hundredth time she turned away without the slightest idea...
------
Quistis couldn't help fidgeting in her seat. The cabin was so just so oppressively silent. Another glance outside confirmed the fact that the sky was still there, the clouds still passed by, the world hadn't simply stopped and fallen.....no matter how much her heart screamed otherwise.
A ghost of a reflection gazed back at her with ravaged eyes. Shutting the window cover with a snap, she settled back in her seat and tried again to just be still. The Ragnorak hummed and thrummed through her...steady...constant....until it became almost maddening. She needed to DO something.
Anything.
Just ONE thing that would calm the anxiety rising within her from the dismal realization of her inability....to....to....effect anything at all! There was nothing she or anyone else could do to help Ellone. Always before there had been SOME course of action, that though the chances might be slim-to-none, at least they were out there, fighting for even that!
But there was nothing. No physical manifestation to save her from. Just grief....and eventual acceptance.
Flicking her shadowed eyes over her comrades, she noted the same kind of infuriating stigma that had her in its grip. Caged, disheveled, and silent, they dotted the cabin with dark blue uniforms and somber black dresses. Regardless of the occasion, all the men looked dashing in their SeeD regalia, especially Squall. Quistis couldn't help loving the way he wore that uniform. The shade of it brought out the blue in his eyes until he was almost sinful to look at.
Resting against him was Rinoa, who had a sumptuous little black number on that went down to right below her knees, but was slit practically to the navel. Selphie, a few seats away in the front, couldn't have looked sweeter in the frilly charcoal dress she was wearing with sparkling jet beads laced into every seam. Seifer and Zell sat at opposite sides of the plane, each staring blankly out their windows. The shock of the news had obviously severly dampered their usual "out-going" personalitites. Neither of them had spoken a word since the meeting. Irvine sat reclining at the far back of the plane with his hat tipped down over his face. Matron and Cid were the only ones who seemed to have any life in them since she could make out their soft murmerings coming from behind.
Her idle gaze strayed back to the covered window and then fell onto her lap. Quistis, on the other hand, had a hard time finding anything appropriate for what Cid had deemed "the following festivity". Never before had she heard a phrase more raped of its meaning.
After a feverish raid of her own small closet to find nothing more than a pair of jeans and the origin of 'that smell', she quickly found Matron and explained her problem. She needed something.... in black ....that would look very proper.
She didn't know where Matron got her definition of proper, but she'd wager an older brother was an influence. The dress itself was just a strapless swatch of lovely dark fabric that seemed to hug every curve. Even though it was so long it trailed on the floor, she still managed to feel practically naked. Not considering the bare shoulders or dipping neckline.... After only giving herself a cursory glance in the mirror, Quistis immediately begged for a black coat to wear over it.
Tugging at the hem, she peered down at her leather boots, which for some reason made her feel a little better. At least part of her felt the same. No one commented on her dress...or why it was covered. The last thing she needed was some kind of smirking remark from Seifer or a pathetically lame line from Irvine.
Dropping the sedate train with a soft rustle, she fell back into her seat and closed her eyes. Quistis hadn't even exhaled before she was there...smiling at her...
Ellone always seemed like she was smiling. Softly...with a hint of sadness caught in her dark hazel eyes. Her hair was the deep, deep brown of the earth after it rained... Her voice was always so lilting and calming... Ellone exuded a gentle, stable strength. She gave them unity and courage when they needed it most. And she was going to leave them ....all over again.
She could almost remember... but it was so faded....like an old scratchy movie, blurred, shakey, and worn. Damn GFs... there were times when she would give anything to have her whole childhood back and not just half-lit snippets.
But she could see...rain...and Squall...so little but still taller than her...and he was crying.... her hands clasped around something hidden and precious.... she reached out to his shoulder....and....
Her head hurt. With a shake she opened her eyes and turned towards the window, flipping the visor up. Desperately grasping at the frayed ends of her thoughts, she watched as the world slowly blurred over and fell down her cheeks.
All too soon, Quistis felt the airship start to descend and her heart leapt into her throat.
They were there.
Docking took an annoyingly short time. She had this irrational hope that if she never set foot on Esthar, never saw Ellone, she wouldn't die. Quistis knew this was nonsense, but she couldn't help dreading having to see Sis one last time.
Silently, her head bowed, Quistis waited in her seat long enough to give everyone time to file out. She just needed a moment alone before having to face this. She knew she was stalling, but she didn't care. The second she left that seat it would all become too real. Too final. And she would have to say goodbye...
After contemplating the ceiling for some time, Quistis quietly stood and started towards the door. She hadn't taken three steps before a light hand on her shoulder made her jump. Whirling around, she was surprised to face Matron who wore a tenderly sad expression.
"Alone again?", she inquired, her voice laced with meaning.
Quistis hesitated.
"....Yes", she choked out softly.
Matron opened her arms to her and the shaken woman fell into them. She held her softly as Quistis sobbed into her shoulder, understanding and silent. Eventually, the tide of emotion ebbed and quited and they stood there together...just drawing comfort from the other.
"Quistis... ", she whispered "I'm sorry...."
Her tone was layered, but she didn't care. Quistis held her a little tighter before stepping back, her eyes dry and her heart a little stronger.
"I'm ready, Matron."
She nodded and they silently walked out together. The usually impressive spectacle of the bright lights and flash of the mechanical city went unnoticed and unappreciated. They hadn't gone far before catching up with everyone else. With a reassuring glance, Matron left her and drifted to Cid's side.
Kiros and Ward had been waiting for them at the airstation. Quistis took in their haggard faces and knew that they would all be wearing that same expression by the end of the day.
"...Ellone has been waiting for all of you. The palace's medical bay is this way."
Quistis had never heard Kiros speak so monotonously, so utterly devoid of his usual spark and wit.
Ward tapped him on the shoulder and looked into his eyes.
"....."
Kiros glanced at him.
"Oh yes, Quistis, please don't enter with everyone else. She wishes to speak with you last."
Everyone turned questioning eyes toward her, but she had nothing to answer them with but her own bewildered expression.
-----
Quistis fidgeted in her chair within the pale, sterile waiting room and watched the second-hand on the clock move. She never realized how annoyingly apt the name of that room really was. Chewing distractedly ar her lower lip, Quistis anxiously glanced at the door for the hundredth time and tried to discern what they were saying. And for the hundredth time she turned away without the slightest idea...