**Ok, I know I'm gonna get yelled at for interrupting the beginning of another chapter, but sometimes I can't help myself ^_^;; I recieved a fanart of my ficcy from Hanime, a great buddy and wonderful artist! Please take a look! http://www.geocities.com/hanimation00/quistis00.jpg Ok, enough of the shamless promotion, and back to the fic! I hope people like it....^_^;;;**
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The doors opened slowly, mercifully breaking the heavy silence. Her friends filed out one by one, ghosts of their former selves. Each familiar face was drawn and blank. It was heartbreaking to watch and frustrating to know she couldn't do anything to shield them this pain. Or herself. She stood, uncertain as to what to do or say. There was nothing she could think of that wouldn't sound cliche or hypocritical to her own ears. Not that she was entirely sure that they'd hear her anyway...
Halfway to the exit, Selphie stopped dead in her tracks and began to tremble, her sobs silently racking her small body. Quistis made a move to go to her, but Seifer, after throwing a fuming glare at Irvine, wrapped an arm around her and gently led her out. Irvine neither noticed the scene, nor seemed to care since he was by now well out the door. Before she had time to speculate, Kiros stepped out of the room and held the door open, motioning her inside.
This was it. Quistis took a deep breath, the stiff leather jacket rustling around her. Her heart pounding with dread, she stepped quietly past Kiros and entered the shadowed room obscured by a thin layer of gauze.
The door clicked behind her with morbid finality.
Gently, she peeled away the curtain and inhaled sharply. She was there, her sweet, sweet Sis, pale and looking so childlike and helpess... And the cords, the machinery, the tubes, criss-crossed the room, entered and exited her frail form, until it looked like she was a butterfly caught in a thick metallic web. It took almost all she had to walk over to her without bursting into tears and running away from the excruciating image.
Ellone turned her ashen face towards her and tried for a smile.
"Please sit..." she nodded towards a chair besides the bed, her voice whisper thin.
"Thank you...for coming Quisty."
The use of the endearment in such a quiet, meaningful way, almost sent Quistis' tenuously held emotions over the edge. Instead, she gathered Ellone's hand in hers and held it tightly.
"No, no don't thank me", she choked out, shaking her head. "Please, Sis, what's wrong with you? Is there really nothing we can do? Don't tell me....that this....this....is how it ends for you! It's just not fair! You don't deserve this! There has to be something....something....", she trailed off, her voice cracked and failed her altogether.
Quistis could feel Ellone's feeble attempt to grip her hand back, trying to comfort the woman who SHOULD be trying to comfort her. Sis was always ready to give, no matter what, and Quistis was suddenly ashamed of how she had reacted. They both knew the answers to those questions, and the dim flame of hope she had carried all the way from Balamb was finally, quietly, blown out.
She shook her head, blonde locks escaped from their careful coil and tumbled artlessly over her shoulders.
"I'm so sorry, please...I...know...I didn't mean....I lost control....I'm sorry...."she stuttered, her voice came out muffled and strained from her down-turned face.
"Quistis...it's alright", Ellone spoke, a tender smile warming her voice. Quistis looked up at her and smiled back, the vision of the slight woman was blurred and out of focus.
"Don't cry Quisty, please. I...need to talk with you."
Broken and trusting blue eyes met grave, faltering hazel.
"Quistis....have you ever wondered...why you can use Blue Magic?"
Startled, she blinked rapidly, and mutely tried to form an answer to the unexpected question.
" N-no...I never really thought about it. I've used Blue Magic for as long as I can remember...", her voice faltered, unsure.
Ellone's smile brightened her face as he eyes took on a faraway look.
"You could use it even before I met you. You were so cute when you were little. Always with both hands on your hips, big, blue eyes sparkling with determination, ordering Seifer in a no-nonsense voice to return Zell's current favorite squeaky toy. Of course he was almost twice your size, but that never daunted you. And how you doted on Squall. He could never seem to do any wrong in your eyes, and you pestered him to no end, trying to get him to talk with you. And Selphie, you were like a mother hen with a chick when it came to her. Always making sure Irvine didn't get her into TOO much trouble", she shook her head, chagrin softly tracing her pale features.
"Sounds a bit familiar, doesn't it?"
Quistis nodded, wishing she could remember with all her heart. The mirror of herself as a child was too telling for her own comfort....but was it so obvious to everyone, or just Ellone?
"They called you 'Bossy Quisty', but...I think you just wanted everyone to be happy", she paused and took a deep, shuddering breath. A short coughing fit exploded from her pale lips. After a flustered moment, Ellone settled back down and tried to put on a semblence of calm, but Quistis couldn't help but notice the vivid trail of red blood that ran down the side of her mouth and unto her pure, white sheets.
A stab of fear ripped through her. She gripped her Sis' hand tightly, praying that pure force of will would keep her safe for as long as possible.
Ellone knew then that she had to tell her....it was now or never.
"Quisty....", she began again softly, almost inaudibly. "You were born with the ability to use magic.....because....you were born..... a sorceress.....
The room filled with incongruous silence, the only exception being the heart monitor with it's dull, steady beat. She couldn't breathe. She didn't believe. Couldn't believe. Her whole body was shaking with little tremors that threatened to shatter everything apart. Ellone's voice seemed to come from far away as she continued.
"...A dormant sorceress, not roused by a transfer from another, but still inherently powerful enough to tap into a part of your own magic without aid.....when most others can barely set a candle aflame at their base ability.... You have not awakened yet..but I fear that when you are.....it will be under the most terrible circumstances....."
She stopped, her voice trailing to a weak murmer. Quistis' hold on her hand had become lax and fallen, unnoticed. The monitor paced on precariously, and she knew it..knew she didn't have much time left...and there was no turning back....
"Which is why I'm so sorry....that I have to awaken you...."
The silence lengthened...grew suffocating....Ellone didn't know what else to say...how to go on....
"W-what...do you mean?" Quistis managed to stammer out, looking to Sis for answers, but seeming to see right through her and into a different place altogether.
Ellone closed her eyes, trying to draw strength from whatever previously untapped resource she could find.
"The reason that I'm....like this....is a by-product of the power that I possess. Most sorceresses can vision the future and affect the outside world....they tend to live unusually long lives and are physically stronger and healthier than humans. I, on the other hand, am something...far more rare. I guess you could call me the natural balance. An inverse sorceress. I possess the power of post-cognition...I see the past...I can even feel the past in my fingertips...but the future is forever a mystery to me. Odine was able to theorize that because the direction of my abilities flow opposite that of a normal sorceress....that my vitality flows the same way. My power...and what I am....are killing me....", she hesitated and looked up at Quistis, so strong and caring, waiting for even the slightest way to help her. It was tearing her up inside...but she had to continue...she had to ask.....
"And because I am a sorceress....as strange and weak as my abilities are....before I can rest...they have to be given to someone with the potential for magic....and...there is no one that can take them on....unawakened.....no one strong enough to harness it....no one I can trust.....", she took Quistis' hand in her own and squeezed it with meaning.
"No one....except you...."
It was hard to believe that the atmosphere could be even more repressed, the undertones of meaning whipped around them like a storm. Hardly a sound could be heard, but Quistis felt like screaming for quiet. She needed silence from her racing thoughts, her beating heart, and the truth she was terrified to hear. Her gaze dropped from Ellone's ravaged face and down to their clasped hands, watching blankly, trying to still everything and find peace for just a moment..... but Ellone went on.
"I wish.... I could reassure you that...this won't happen to you....should you choose to help me. Odine thinks that at your current level...you just might be able to accept my power without becoming drained....maybe even reverse it's flow and become a regular sorceress... But nothing is certain....and I'm so sorry that I have to put you in this position....but I have to ask....I.....will you....please....help me.....?", her voice died within her and she lay very still, her reserve depleted...her question finally asked....
Quistis glanced up, shining blue eyes taking in all that surounded her. The implications tainting the air...the faint grip of reassurance on her hand....and the small woman...tangled in wires....begging to be set free..... There were consequences and there were questions...unending questions....but what there wasn't was time.....
Ellone felt her hair being stroked softly and opened her eyes. Quistis was there, smiling down at her, their tears began spotting her pillow, leaving small stains around her head like a halo. Her soft, brown eyes implored once more.
Words deserting her, she nodded.
She held out her arms and Quistis slid into them, hugging her tightly, her face buried in Ellone's shoulder. That's when it started. Whisps of energy, like walking into a giant spiderweb, began to make her body tingle. She was scared and pulled Sis closer, seeking comfort even in the antibiotic masked scent of one of the only people she associated with security and love. The tiny waves began to increase, growing hotter, more violent, until they racked her consciousness. It was all she could see, red and blue, with tiny sparkles all around her, she heard someone cry out, but at this point she couldn't tell whose throat it came from. She was being torn apart, put back together, flattened out, and exploded all at once...she died and was born.
Suddenly, too suddenly, it stopped. Exhausted, dazed, she slipped into unconsciousness....spawled out on Ellone's empty bed.
------
The doors opened slowly, mercifully breaking the heavy silence. Her friends filed out one by one, ghosts of their former selves. Each familiar face was drawn and blank. It was heartbreaking to watch and frustrating to know she couldn't do anything to shield them this pain. Or herself. She stood, uncertain as to what to do or say. There was nothing she could think of that wouldn't sound cliche or hypocritical to her own ears. Not that she was entirely sure that they'd hear her anyway...
Halfway to the exit, Selphie stopped dead in her tracks and began to tremble, her sobs silently racking her small body. Quistis made a move to go to her, but Seifer, after throwing a fuming glare at Irvine, wrapped an arm around her and gently led her out. Irvine neither noticed the scene, nor seemed to care since he was by now well out the door. Before she had time to speculate, Kiros stepped out of the room and held the door open, motioning her inside.
This was it. Quistis took a deep breath, the stiff leather jacket rustling around her. Her heart pounding with dread, she stepped quietly past Kiros and entered the shadowed room obscured by a thin layer of gauze.
The door clicked behind her with morbid finality.
Gently, she peeled away the curtain and inhaled sharply. She was there, her sweet, sweet Sis, pale and looking so childlike and helpess... And the cords, the machinery, the tubes, criss-crossed the room, entered and exited her frail form, until it looked like she was a butterfly caught in a thick metallic web. It took almost all she had to walk over to her without bursting into tears and running away from the excruciating image.
Ellone turned her ashen face towards her and tried for a smile.
"Please sit..." she nodded towards a chair besides the bed, her voice whisper thin.
"Thank you...for coming Quisty."
The use of the endearment in such a quiet, meaningful way, almost sent Quistis' tenuously held emotions over the edge. Instead, she gathered Ellone's hand in hers and held it tightly.
"No, no don't thank me", she choked out, shaking her head. "Please, Sis, what's wrong with you? Is there really nothing we can do? Don't tell me....that this....this....is how it ends for you! It's just not fair! You don't deserve this! There has to be something....something....", she trailed off, her voice cracked and failed her altogether.
Quistis could feel Ellone's feeble attempt to grip her hand back, trying to comfort the woman who SHOULD be trying to comfort her. Sis was always ready to give, no matter what, and Quistis was suddenly ashamed of how she had reacted. They both knew the answers to those questions, and the dim flame of hope she had carried all the way from Balamb was finally, quietly, blown out.
She shook her head, blonde locks escaped from their careful coil and tumbled artlessly over her shoulders.
"I'm so sorry, please...I...know...I didn't mean....I lost control....I'm sorry...."she stuttered, her voice came out muffled and strained from her down-turned face.
"Quistis...it's alright", Ellone spoke, a tender smile warming her voice. Quistis looked up at her and smiled back, the vision of the slight woman was blurred and out of focus.
"Don't cry Quisty, please. I...need to talk with you."
Broken and trusting blue eyes met grave, faltering hazel.
"Quistis....have you ever wondered...why you can use Blue Magic?"
Startled, she blinked rapidly, and mutely tried to form an answer to the unexpected question.
" N-no...I never really thought about it. I've used Blue Magic for as long as I can remember...", her voice faltered, unsure.
Ellone's smile brightened her face as he eyes took on a faraway look.
"You could use it even before I met you. You were so cute when you were little. Always with both hands on your hips, big, blue eyes sparkling with determination, ordering Seifer in a no-nonsense voice to return Zell's current favorite squeaky toy. Of course he was almost twice your size, but that never daunted you. And how you doted on Squall. He could never seem to do any wrong in your eyes, and you pestered him to no end, trying to get him to talk with you. And Selphie, you were like a mother hen with a chick when it came to her. Always making sure Irvine didn't get her into TOO much trouble", she shook her head, chagrin softly tracing her pale features.
"Sounds a bit familiar, doesn't it?"
Quistis nodded, wishing she could remember with all her heart. The mirror of herself as a child was too telling for her own comfort....but was it so obvious to everyone, or just Ellone?
"They called you 'Bossy Quisty', but...I think you just wanted everyone to be happy", she paused and took a deep, shuddering breath. A short coughing fit exploded from her pale lips. After a flustered moment, Ellone settled back down and tried to put on a semblence of calm, but Quistis couldn't help but notice the vivid trail of red blood that ran down the side of her mouth and unto her pure, white sheets.
A stab of fear ripped through her. She gripped her Sis' hand tightly, praying that pure force of will would keep her safe for as long as possible.
Ellone knew then that she had to tell her....it was now or never.
"Quisty....", she began again softly, almost inaudibly. "You were born with the ability to use magic.....because....you were born..... a sorceress.....
The room filled with incongruous silence, the only exception being the heart monitor with it's dull, steady beat. She couldn't breathe. She didn't believe. Couldn't believe. Her whole body was shaking with little tremors that threatened to shatter everything apart. Ellone's voice seemed to come from far away as she continued.
"...A dormant sorceress, not roused by a transfer from another, but still inherently powerful enough to tap into a part of your own magic without aid.....when most others can barely set a candle aflame at their base ability.... You have not awakened yet..but I fear that when you are.....it will be under the most terrible circumstances....."
She stopped, her voice trailing to a weak murmer. Quistis' hold on her hand had become lax and fallen, unnoticed. The monitor paced on precariously, and she knew it..knew she didn't have much time left...and there was no turning back....
"Which is why I'm so sorry....that I have to awaken you...."
The silence lengthened...grew suffocating....Ellone didn't know what else to say...how to go on....
"W-what...do you mean?" Quistis managed to stammer out, looking to Sis for answers, but seeming to see right through her and into a different place altogether.
Ellone closed her eyes, trying to draw strength from whatever previously untapped resource she could find.
"The reason that I'm....like this....is a by-product of the power that I possess. Most sorceresses can vision the future and affect the outside world....they tend to live unusually long lives and are physically stronger and healthier than humans. I, on the other hand, am something...far more rare. I guess you could call me the natural balance. An inverse sorceress. I possess the power of post-cognition...I see the past...I can even feel the past in my fingertips...but the future is forever a mystery to me. Odine was able to theorize that because the direction of my abilities flow opposite that of a normal sorceress....that my vitality flows the same way. My power...and what I am....are killing me....", she hesitated and looked up at Quistis, so strong and caring, waiting for even the slightest way to help her. It was tearing her up inside...but she had to continue...she had to ask.....
"And because I am a sorceress....as strange and weak as my abilities are....before I can rest...they have to be given to someone with the potential for magic....and...there is no one that can take them on....unawakened.....no one strong enough to harness it....no one I can trust.....", she took Quistis' hand in her own and squeezed it with meaning.
"No one....except you...."
It was hard to believe that the atmosphere could be even more repressed, the undertones of meaning whipped around them like a storm. Hardly a sound could be heard, but Quistis felt like screaming for quiet. She needed silence from her racing thoughts, her beating heart, and the truth she was terrified to hear. Her gaze dropped from Ellone's ravaged face and down to their clasped hands, watching blankly, trying to still everything and find peace for just a moment..... but Ellone went on.
"I wish.... I could reassure you that...this won't happen to you....should you choose to help me. Odine thinks that at your current level...you just might be able to accept my power without becoming drained....maybe even reverse it's flow and become a regular sorceress... But nothing is certain....and I'm so sorry that I have to put you in this position....but I have to ask....I.....will you....please....help me.....?", her voice died within her and she lay very still, her reserve depleted...her question finally asked....
Quistis glanced up, shining blue eyes taking in all that surounded her. The implications tainting the air...the faint grip of reassurance on her hand....and the small woman...tangled in wires....begging to be set free..... There were consequences and there were questions...unending questions....but what there wasn't was time.....
Ellone felt her hair being stroked softly and opened her eyes. Quistis was there, smiling down at her, their tears began spotting her pillow, leaving small stains around her head like a halo. Her soft, brown eyes implored once more.
Words deserting her, she nodded.
She held out her arms and Quistis slid into them, hugging her tightly, her face buried in Ellone's shoulder. That's when it started. Whisps of energy, like walking into a giant spiderweb, began to make her body tingle. She was scared and pulled Sis closer, seeking comfort even in the antibiotic masked scent of one of the only people she associated with security and love. The tiny waves began to increase, growing hotter, more violent, until they racked her consciousness. It was all she could see, red and blue, with tiny sparkles all around her, she heard someone cry out, but at this point she couldn't tell whose throat it came from. She was being torn apart, put back together, flattened out, and exploded all at once...she died and was born.
Suddenly, too suddenly, it stopped. Exhausted, dazed, she slipped into unconsciousness....spawled out on Ellone's empty bed.