CHAPTER TEN: OLD FRIENDS BECOME RIVALS, OLD RIVALS BECOME FRIENDS
Super Jo and Fatboy Dudley hurried down the corridor, looking for the stairs that led to the Potterdor Tower. Joanne kept thinking about how to defeat the Great Lord of Doom (gee, did you ever thought about how many names each "Evil Lord" has?), but also about what her father had actually meant. The Force . . . what WAS the Force, if it wasn't some crappy Star Wars word?!
01:00 PM
Potterdor Common Room
After The Big Fight
The Potterdor Common Room was a mess. Practically every single male that was there had also fought for Hermione Granger, the gorgeous scarlet woman. But the most had failed and were taken to the hospital wing. Only the three strongest (Lord Potter, 'Knight' Weasley and Macho Man Longbottom) had remained battling. But they were tired, and lay on the floor, very tired.
"This . . . means . . . war", said Lord Potter.
"Tha . . . babe's . . . mine", said Macho Man Longbottom.
"Thy . . . shall . . . not . . . succeed", said 'Knight' Weasley.
Suddenly, Lord Potter jumped up, full of anger. He pointed to Longbottom and Weasley, that were once his friends, but now his greatest enemies. "You FOOLS! Don't you see I, the ALMIGHTY LORD POTTER, shall win this battle? I am unbeatable! I am immortal! I am a god! Worship me! Bow to me and kiss my feet! I am ANGRY! You don't like me when I am ANGRY!"
Hermione stood up. "STOP!", she yelled angry. "If you want to fight about me, fine. But at least do it properly! I mean, look at you! Kicking, pinching and slapping each other like babies. Mobilize some soldiers or something like that, for Pete's sake! Let them fight for you, while you are sitting somewhere, giving them some orders."
The three boys thought. "Not a bad idea, actually", said Lord Potter. "For once, I agree with you, Potty", said Neville. "NEVER!", said Ron, jumping up and holding his wand like a sword. "I will risk my life for my beloved! I am not going to let other men fight for what I want! I am no coward, like you two! I shall put on my shining armor and going into battle like a HERO!" He went to his dormitory. "Weird fellow", said Neville. "Very weird indeed", said Lord Potter. "The war has now begun. I shall name it the "Hoggy War", in honor of our school. I am going to mobilize my Evil Army of Doom. See you at the battlefield, amigos." He wanted to leave the Common Room, when suddenly, SUPER JO and FATBOY DUDLEY burst in.
"AHA!", yelled Super Jo. "You shall not succeed, you Evil Jerk! Or do you want me to try out my ICE-BREATH on you!" Lord Potter said: "What is wrong with you, Scowling? Oh, by the way, do you want to be in my Evil Army of Doom?" Super Jo said: "I am NOT Joanna Scowling anymore! I am SUPER JO! I fight evil! And I have absolutely NO IDEA what an EVIL ARMY OF DOOM IS! Grab him, Fatboy!" Fatboy Dudley ran to Lord Potter and said: "I'm sorry, dear cousin, but it's the will of the Holy Hotdog." Fatboy Dudley beat the snot out of Harry. "Hey, this is fun, actually", said Fatboy. Lord Potter screamed: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DUDLEY? I thought I was your favorite cousin? Besides, I have an Evil Army of Doom to mobilize!" Dudley whined: "Yeah, whatever, but I really want that hotdog, you know", and he continued beating Harry. He said: "I am very sorry to do this, Dudley, but I have no choice. I shall use my Horrible Evil Glare." He glared evilly at Dudley and fire shot out of his eyes. Dudley could only jump away just in time. "AAARGH! He's using his Horrible Evil Glare! This isn't even worth a hotdog! Adios, Super Jo! I'm leaving this place! I WANT MY MOMMY!". And then, Dudley ran away as quickly as he could.
Super Jo was a bit shocked, but she didn't want to look worried. She said: "So, Lord Potter, it seems that it's only the two of us now."
"Out of the way, Scowling, I'm not in the mood to fight against good guys today", said Lord Potter. "This is about keeping my pride AND my girlfriend". And he pushed Super Jo aside. She saw Hermione sigh. "Boys. They are very complicated indeed."
02:00 PM
The Shrieking Shack
The Waking up of Voldy
Voldy Mort woke up. Boy, had he a headache. He tried to remember what had happened earlier that day. And then, he remembered.
Joanne Rowling.
He had to take revenge. Show her that one couldn't kick his butt without being punished very badly. He would do anything to do that.
And at that very moment, Lord Potter opened the door and came in.
"Um . . . hiya, Voldy", he said awkwardly. "What are YOU doing here?", Voldy grumbled. He didn't feel like fighting evil with this headache. "Well, I was thinking . . . maybe we could forget our old differences. I am in need of a strong Evil Army of Doom. I know that what you want is tons of money. Well, you can get as much as you want if you become my Evil Ally and help me mobilize my army. I already asked my old friend Sauron. You know, the Evil Eyeball Guy from Lord of the Rings. He has lent me some Orcs. So, what do you think, Voldy? Forget the old differences and become Allies?" Voldy thought. Why not? He always wanted to become rich again. And it was clear that Lord Potter was desperate. He would do anything for him. "It's a deal, Lordie", said Voldy, and they shook hands. Suddenly, Voldy got tears in his eyes. "My friend", he said, sickenly dramatic. "My buddy", said Lord Potter. They hugged.
"Oh, I forgot to say", Voldy said when they let go. "There are a few conditions." Joanne Rowling would pay.
Super Jo and Fatboy Dudley hurried down the corridor, looking for the stairs that led to the Potterdor Tower. Joanne kept thinking about how to defeat the Great Lord of Doom (gee, did you ever thought about how many names each "Evil Lord" has?), but also about what her father had actually meant. The Force . . . what WAS the Force, if it wasn't some crappy Star Wars word?!
01:00 PM
Potterdor Common Room
After The Big Fight
The Potterdor Common Room was a mess. Practically every single male that was there had also fought for Hermione Granger, the gorgeous scarlet woman. But the most had failed and were taken to the hospital wing. Only the three strongest (Lord Potter, 'Knight' Weasley and Macho Man Longbottom) had remained battling. But they were tired, and lay on the floor, very tired.
"This . . . means . . . war", said Lord Potter.
"Tha . . . babe's . . . mine", said Macho Man Longbottom.
"Thy . . . shall . . . not . . . succeed", said 'Knight' Weasley.
Suddenly, Lord Potter jumped up, full of anger. He pointed to Longbottom and Weasley, that were once his friends, but now his greatest enemies. "You FOOLS! Don't you see I, the ALMIGHTY LORD POTTER, shall win this battle? I am unbeatable! I am immortal! I am a god! Worship me! Bow to me and kiss my feet! I am ANGRY! You don't like me when I am ANGRY!"
Hermione stood up. "STOP!", she yelled angry. "If you want to fight about me, fine. But at least do it properly! I mean, look at you! Kicking, pinching and slapping each other like babies. Mobilize some soldiers or something like that, for Pete's sake! Let them fight for you, while you are sitting somewhere, giving them some orders."
The three boys thought. "Not a bad idea, actually", said Lord Potter. "For once, I agree with you, Potty", said Neville. "NEVER!", said Ron, jumping up and holding his wand like a sword. "I will risk my life for my beloved! I am not going to let other men fight for what I want! I am no coward, like you two! I shall put on my shining armor and going into battle like a HERO!" He went to his dormitory. "Weird fellow", said Neville. "Very weird indeed", said Lord Potter. "The war has now begun. I shall name it the "Hoggy War", in honor of our school. I am going to mobilize my Evil Army of Doom. See you at the battlefield, amigos." He wanted to leave the Common Room, when suddenly, SUPER JO and FATBOY DUDLEY burst in.
"AHA!", yelled Super Jo. "You shall not succeed, you Evil Jerk! Or do you want me to try out my ICE-BREATH on you!" Lord Potter said: "What is wrong with you, Scowling? Oh, by the way, do you want to be in my Evil Army of Doom?" Super Jo said: "I am NOT Joanna Scowling anymore! I am SUPER JO! I fight evil! And I have absolutely NO IDEA what an EVIL ARMY OF DOOM IS! Grab him, Fatboy!" Fatboy Dudley ran to Lord Potter and said: "I'm sorry, dear cousin, but it's the will of the Holy Hotdog." Fatboy Dudley beat the snot out of Harry. "Hey, this is fun, actually", said Fatboy. Lord Potter screamed: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DUDLEY? I thought I was your favorite cousin? Besides, I have an Evil Army of Doom to mobilize!" Dudley whined: "Yeah, whatever, but I really want that hotdog, you know", and he continued beating Harry. He said: "I am very sorry to do this, Dudley, but I have no choice. I shall use my Horrible Evil Glare." He glared evilly at Dudley and fire shot out of his eyes. Dudley could only jump away just in time. "AAARGH! He's using his Horrible Evil Glare! This isn't even worth a hotdog! Adios, Super Jo! I'm leaving this place! I WANT MY MOMMY!". And then, Dudley ran away as quickly as he could.
Super Jo was a bit shocked, but she didn't want to look worried. She said: "So, Lord Potter, it seems that it's only the two of us now."
"Out of the way, Scowling, I'm not in the mood to fight against good guys today", said Lord Potter. "This is about keeping my pride AND my girlfriend". And he pushed Super Jo aside. She saw Hermione sigh. "Boys. They are very complicated indeed."
02:00 PM
The Shrieking Shack
The Waking up of Voldy
Voldy Mort woke up. Boy, had he a headache. He tried to remember what had happened earlier that day. And then, he remembered.
Joanne Rowling.
He had to take revenge. Show her that one couldn't kick his butt without being punished very badly. He would do anything to do that.
And at that very moment, Lord Potter opened the door and came in.
"Um . . . hiya, Voldy", he said awkwardly. "What are YOU doing here?", Voldy grumbled. He didn't feel like fighting evil with this headache. "Well, I was thinking . . . maybe we could forget our old differences. I am in need of a strong Evil Army of Doom. I know that what you want is tons of money. Well, you can get as much as you want if you become my Evil Ally and help me mobilize my army. I already asked my old friend Sauron. You know, the Evil Eyeball Guy from Lord of the Rings. He has lent me some Orcs. So, what do you think, Voldy? Forget the old differences and become Allies?" Voldy thought. Why not? He always wanted to become rich again. And it was clear that Lord Potter was desperate. He would do anything for him. "It's a deal, Lordie", said Voldy, and they shook hands. Suddenly, Voldy got tears in his eyes. "My friend", he said, sickenly dramatic. "My buddy", said Lord Potter. They hugged.
"Oh, I forgot to say", Voldy said when they let go. "There are a few conditions." Joanne Rowling would pay.