It's here, finally... Chapter 12. But why did nobody review my eleventh
chapter? Well, I guess it's true what they say... true genius is
misunderstood in it's own time... but WHAT THE HECK? I PRESENT YOU:
CHAPTER TWELVE: A LEGENDARY BATTLE
04:30 PM
Legendary Battle Thingy
Great Hall
It was still deadly quiet in the Great Hall. Just as in the last chapter. It's getting boring, eh? Well, then I will no longer leave you in complete boredom. 'cause there they are!
First came Knight Weasley and his Holy Army, including Sir Finnigan, Legolas and his Elfish Cronies, and last but not least Bob the Builder. Spiderman had a cold.
Second came Neville 'Danger' Longbottom, followed by his Army of Veela's, Cheerleaders, Screaming Fangirls and Bodyguards, dancing their way to the Great Hall.
Third came Lord Potter and his Alliance of Evil Overlords, followed by the Evil Army of Orcs, Walking Sharks with Laserguns Attached to their Heads, Vague but Evil Aliens and Beef Eaters.
And then came Hermione Granger.
"Hiya all", she said. "I decided to watch the battle. The whole war is about me, remember? You can read that in Chapter Ten. Well, I'm off to take a good seat. So... let the battle begin!"
Knight Weasley, Neville Longbottom and Lord Potter watched eachother for a second, and then gave their orders. "Attack!" And thus the legendary battle began.
04:45 PM
Somewhere in a secret passageway
Joanne was searching for a painting of a fruitbasket. Finally, she found it. She tickled the pear and voila! She was in the Hogwarts Kitchen.
"Hi", she said dramatically. "I came here to free you", she said to the House Elves, sitting in their luxurious chairs, drinking Butterbeer with now 75 % More Alcohol.
"Wuz about bloody time!", yelled the Head House Elf. "You and your giant- ish friend promised that ages ago in the bloody fifth chapter! We've been waiting for days! What wuz that all about?" "I've got no time for apologies", said Joanne. "Come with me! You can start fighting in the Great Hall. Your mission is: beat up every single creature in the place!" "Great!", said the Head House Elf. "Finally we can do something fun! Let's kick some butts! FIGHT!" "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!", shouted all House Elves. They followed Joanne to the Great Hall.
05: 00 PM
Still battling
Great Hall
The legendary battle had turned into a mess. Everywhere lay pieces of Orcs, Aliens and other nasty things. Nobody had a clue who was closest to winning. Knight Weasley, Neville and Lord Potter were shouting random commands at their armies.
"Mutated Sharks with Laserguns Attached to their Heads! Attack Weasley's army!", shouted Lord Potter. "Thy shall never beat me, Potter!", yelled Knight Weasley. "Sharks, beware of my killer machine! BOB THE BUILDER!" He let his "killer machine" out of his cage. Bob the Madman ripped several Mutated Sharks to pieces, and let his Vicious Steam Roller run over some Aliens. "Shit!", yelled Darth Vader. "Blast you, Knight Weasley! That Vicious Steam Roller of you just run over me uncle Gerald!!" "Watch out, Darth!", shouted his mate, Dr. Evil. But it was too late. He was attacked by some mad Veela's and Cheerleaders. "AAARGH!", was Darth's last word. "Shit!", said Lord Potter. "Longbottom, your stupid cheerleaders just killed one of the few Evil Overlords in the Universe!" "Like I care!", said Neville, and he sticked his tongue out.
"I HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!", yelled Lord Potter. "It's time for some kamikaze action! Orcs and Beef Eaters! Attack and KILL! Except for my precioussssss Hermione, ofcourse."
"Boy, Harry, you're starting to sound like Gollum", said Sauron, the Evil Eyeball.
"Goll who?", asked Lord Potter. "Never mind", said Sauron. "Boy, you should check out the Lord of The Rings movie."
It became even bloodier than before. The Orcs and Beef Eaters were ruthless killers. Even the Screaming Fangirls weren't spared, except for a few who could run away. Screaming, ofcourse. Several Lord of the Rings fans were devastated when a Beef Eater (Wormtail, ofcourse) almost bit Legolas' head off. But fortunately, Wormtail was stopped by some remaining Fangirls who attacked him viciously, brought Legolas to safety, declared him their own House-Elf and began to swoon all over him.
Neville's army was the first to fall, when he looked to the Fangirls drooling over Legolas and shouted: "Hey, come back here! I'M supposed to be the pretty boy in this story! Not that ruddy Elf-b..." He didn't finish his sentence, because an Orc jumped at him and beat the snot out of him. "MUAHAHAHA!", laughed Lord Potter. "THE FIRST ENEMY HAS FALLEN TO THE WRATH OF LORD POTTER!" Sauron coughed. "And Sauron, ofcourse. Without his little ugly friends, this would've not been possible.", Lord Potter said quickly. Sauron looked happy. As happy as you can be for an Evil Eyeball, that is.
05:45 PM
Running as fast as they can
Somewhere in a Hogwarts corridor
"MUAHAHAHA!" Everyone in the entire school could here Lord Potter's EVIL laugh. "Holy crap!", shouted Joanne. "It's Lord Potter's EVIL laugh! That means that there's already ONE army that has lost!" "See?", said the Head House-Elf. "That's what you get for freein' us too late! You can be glad I didn't ask you a lot of money for fighting evil!" "You call 275 dollar and 57 cent not a lot?", said Joanne. "Stop naggin'!", said the Head House-Elf. "You've got enough money to buy Bill Gates as your slave! What's 275 dollar then?" Joanne sighed.
06:00 PM
The climax of the battle
Great Hall
"Bring Longbottom to me!", said Lord Potter evilly to one of his Orcs. "He will be SORRY that he was foolish enough to fight against ME and my EVIL cronies! Muahahaha!" It seemed that Lord Potter was closest to winning, but Knight Weasley's army wasn't doing bad either. "You call this not bad?", said Seamus. "We've lost all our Elfish Cronies, Spiderman has a cold and our Vicious Steam Roller is attacked by some Beef Eaters!"
"Why, that means, my friend", said Knight Weasley, "That I am going into battle myself! TADA! Blow the horn, companion! For Knight Weasley is here, among with his pretty shining armor! ATTACK!" Knight Weasley attacked and Seamus sighed.
"So, Longbottom", said Lord Potter. "You've finally been defeated! Haven't I told you that it was foolish to fight against ME? The ULTIMATE Lord of EVILNESS!" "Excuse me", said Dr. Evil. "I'M the ultimate Lord of Evilness. My friggin' name isn't Dr. Evil for nothing!" "We'll discuss that later", said Lord Potter irritated. "What I wanted to say is: BOW TO ME AND MY EVIL COMPANIONS, LONGBOTTOM, OR DIE! MUAHAHAHA!" "I will never bow to you, Potty", said Neville. "I mean, that would TOTALLY ruin my popularity! It's HARD to maintain relationships with VARIOUS cheerleader-ish pretty girls, you know." "YOU FOOL!", screamed Lord Potter. "YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!" Just when he was about to let one of his Evil Creatures kill Neville, he was attacked by Knight Weasley. "Surrender, thy Evil Dog!", said Knight Weasley, doing some vague moves with his sword. "It is ME who is going to win the battle and take the fair princess with me! Good knights ALWAYS win! Take that!" He chopped with his sword, and missed Lord Potter by inches. "Orcs and Beef Eaters! Please continue spreading a little doom and havoc around the place, while I take care of this iron nitwit! HEY! You ripped my Evil Shirt with that sword of yours! I have learned KUNG-FU and KARATE in the summer vacation, you know! SUSHI!" He did a sort of ninja move.
At that very moment, Joanne and her Army of House-Elves burst in. "Fear not, people! SUPER JO is in town! Among with her Army of House-Elves! House- Elves, attack all Evil Creatures!" "No problem, chick!", said the Head House Elf. "ATTACK!" The House Elves attacked.
THE END. OF THIS CHAPTER.
The next chapter will probably be the last, dudes. Maybe I will make a sequel. Maybe. But only if you gimme TONS of REVIEWS! And if you don't, you will face the wrath of KUNG-FU HARRY!
Lovely Greetings,
The Author.
CHAPTER TWELVE: A LEGENDARY BATTLE
04:30 PM
Legendary Battle Thingy
Great Hall
It was still deadly quiet in the Great Hall. Just as in the last chapter. It's getting boring, eh? Well, then I will no longer leave you in complete boredom. 'cause there they are!
First came Knight Weasley and his Holy Army, including Sir Finnigan, Legolas and his Elfish Cronies, and last but not least Bob the Builder. Spiderman had a cold.
Second came Neville 'Danger' Longbottom, followed by his Army of Veela's, Cheerleaders, Screaming Fangirls and Bodyguards, dancing their way to the Great Hall.
Third came Lord Potter and his Alliance of Evil Overlords, followed by the Evil Army of Orcs, Walking Sharks with Laserguns Attached to their Heads, Vague but Evil Aliens and Beef Eaters.
And then came Hermione Granger.
"Hiya all", she said. "I decided to watch the battle. The whole war is about me, remember? You can read that in Chapter Ten. Well, I'm off to take a good seat. So... let the battle begin!"
Knight Weasley, Neville Longbottom and Lord Potter watched eachother for a second, and then gave their orders. "Attack!" And thus the legendary battle began.
04:45 PM
Somewhere in a secret passageway
Joanne was searching for a painting of a fruitbasket. Finally, she found it. She tickled the pear and voila! She was in the Hogwarts Kitchen.
"Hi", she said dramatically. "I came here to free you", she said to the House Elves, sitting in their luxurious chairs, drinking Butterbeer with now 75 % More Alcohol.
"Wuz about bloody time!", yelled the Head House Elf. "You and your giant- ish friend promised that ages ago in the bloody fifth chapter! We've been waiting for days! What wuz that all about?" "I've got no time for apologies", said Joanne. "Come with me! You can start fighting in the Great Hall. Your mission is: beat up every single creature in the place!" "Great!", said the Head House Elf. "Finally we can do something fun! Let's kick some butts! FIGHT!" "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!", shouted all House Elves. They followed Joanne to the Great Hall.
05: 00 PM
Still battling
Great Hall
The legendary battle had turned into a mess. Everywhere lay pieces of Orcs, Aliens and other nasty things. Nobody had a clue who was closest to winning. Knight Weasley, Neville and Lord Potter were shouting random commands at their armies.
"Mutated Sharks with Laserguns Attached to their Heads! Attack Weasley's army!", shouted Lord Potter. "Thy shall never beat me, Potter!", yelled Knight Weasley. "Sharks, beware of my killer machine! BOB THE BUILDER!" He let his "killer machine" out of his cage. Bob the Madman ripped several Mutated Sharks to pieces, and let his Vicious Steam Roller run over some Aliens. "Shit!", yelled Darth Vader. "Blast you, Knight Weasley! That Vicious Steam Roller of you just run over me uncle Gerald!!" "Watch out, Darth!", shouted his mate, Dr. Evil. But it was too late. He was attacked by some mad Veela's and Cheerleaders. "AAARGH!", was Darth's last word. "Shit!", said Lord Potter. "Longbottom, your stupid cheerleaders just killed one of the few Evil Overlords in the Universe!" "Like I care!", said Neville, and he sticked his tongue out.
"I HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!", yelled Lord Potter. "It's time for some kamikaze action! Orcs and Beef Eaters! Attack and KILL! Except for my precioussssss Hermione, ofcourse."
"Boy, Harry, you're starting to sound like Gollum", said Sauron, the Evil Eyeball.
"Goll who?", asked Lord Potter. "Never mind", said Sauron. "Boy, you should check out the Lord of The Rings movie."
It became even bloodier than before. The Orcs and Beef Eaters were ruthless killers. Even the Screaming Fangirls weren't spared, except for a few who could run away. Screaming, ofcourse. Several Lord of the Rings fans were devastated when a Beef Eater (Wormtail, ofcourse) almost bit Legolas' head off. But fortunately, Wormtail was stopped by some remaining Fangirls who attacked him viciously, brought Legolas to safety, declared him their own House-Elf and began to swoon all over him.
Neville's army was the first to fall, when he looked to the Fangirls drooling over Legolas and shouted: "Hey, come back here! I'M supposed to be the pretty boy in this story! Not that ruddy Elf-b..." He didn't finish his sentence, because an Orc jumped at him and beat the snot out of him. "MUAHAHAHA!", laughed Lord Potter. "THE FIRST ENEMY HAS FALLEN TO THE WRATH OF LORD POTTER!" Sauron coughed. "And Sauron, ofcourse. Without his little ugly friends, this would've not been possible.", Lord Potter said quickly. Sauron looked happy. As happy as you can be for an Evil Eyeball, that is.
05:45 PM
Running as fast as they can
Somewhere in a Hogwarts corridor
"MUAHAHAHA!" Everyone in the entire school could here Lord Potter's EVIL laugh. "Holy crap!", shouted Joanne. "It's Lord Potter's EVIL laugh! That means that there's already ONE army that has lost!" "See?", said the Head House-Elf. "That's what you get for freein' us too late! You can be glad I didn't ask you a lot of money for fighting evil!" "You call 275 dollar and 57 cent not a lot?", said Joanne. "Stop naggin'!", said the Head House-Elf. "You've got enough money to buy Bill Gates as your slave! What's 275 dollar then?" Joanne sighed.
06:00 PM
The climax of the battle
Great Hall
"Bring Longbottom to me!", said Lord Potter evilly to one of his Orcs. "He will be SORRY that he was foolish enough to fight against ME and my EVIL cronies! Muahahaha!" It seemed that Lord Potter was closest to winning, but Knight Weasley's army wasn't doing bad either. "You call this not bad?", said Seamus. "We've lost all our Elfish Cronies, Spiderman has a cold and our Vicious Steam Roller is attacked by some Beef Eaters!"
"Why, that means, my friend", said Knight Weasley, "That I am going into battle myself! TADA! Blow the horn, companion! For Knight Weasley is here, among with his pretty shining armor! ATTACK!" Knight Weasley attacked and Seamus sighed.
"So, Longbottom", said Lord Potter. "You've finally been defeated! Haven't I told you that it was foolish to fight against ME? The ULTIMATE Lord of EVILNESS!" "Excuse me", said Dr. Evil. "I'M the ultimate Lord of Evilness. My friggin' name isn't Dr. Evil for nothing!" "We'll discuss that later", said Lord Potter irritated. "What I wanted to say is: BOW TO ME AND MY EVIL COMPANIONS, LONGBOTTOM, OR DIE! MUAHAHAHA!" "I will never bow to you, Potty", said Neville. "I mean, that would TOTALLY ruin my popularity! It's HARD to maintain relationships with VARIOUS cheerleader-ish pretty girls, you know." "YOU FOOL!", screamed Lord Potter. "YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!" Just when he was about to let one of his Evil Creatures kill Neville, he was attacked by Knight Weasley. "Surrender, thy Evil Dog!", said Knight Weasley, doing some vague moves with his sword. "It is ME who is going to win the battle and take the fair princess with me! Good knights ALWAYS win! Take that!" He chopped with his sword, and missed Lord Potter by inches. "Orcs and Beef Eaters! Please continue spreading a little doom and havoc around the place, while I take care of this iron nitwit! HEY! You ripped my Evil Shirt with that sword of yours! I have learned KUNG-FU and KARATE in the summer vacation, you know! SUSHI!" He did a sort of ninja move.
At that very moment, Joanne and her Army of House-Elves burst in. "Fear not, people! SUPER JO is in town! Among with her Army of House-Elves! House- Elves, attack all Evil Creatures!" "No problem, chick!", said the Head House Elf. "ATTACK!" The House Elves attacked.
THE END. OF THIS CHAPTER.
The next chapter will probably be the last, dudes. Maybe I will make a sequel. Maybe. But only if you gimme TONS of REVIEWS! And if you don't, you will face the wrath of KUNG-FU HARRY!
Lovely Greetings,
The Author.