This next chapter is in script form because it's easier. Think of it as a video. The song is Weird Al's parody 'She Drives Like Crazy' of the song 'She Drives Me Crazy' by the Fine Young Cannibals. It's on the UHF soundtrack. It just seemed perfect at the time.
Summers and the Speed Racer
(Scott and Kitty are in his car.)
Kitty: This is so cool! I can't wait to drive! Let's go!
Scott: Kitty, slow down! You need to wait for the gate to open up!
Kitty: No I don't. Watch this! (She phases through the gate.) Cool huh?
Scott: I'm gonna die. (The music starts)
Where'd you learn how to steer?
You do eighty in second gear!
When you drive I can't relax!
Got your license from Cracker Jacks
(Kitty runs over someone's lawn and mows over a small tree.)
You just hit another tree
These fender benders are killin' me!
She drives like crazy!
Like no one else!
She drives like crazy!
And I'm afraid for myself!
(Kitty is oblivious, happily weaving in and out of lanes, causing havoc on the road.)
They'll put you behind bars
We're not playing bumper cars!
(Kitty swerves the car around very quickly.)
Kitty: Did a great figure eight!
Scott: In the middle of the interstate!
Tires squeal wherever we go
(A hitchhiker on the street sees them and runs away screaming.)
Even hitchhikers just say no!
Hitchhiker: (Jumps in a tree to escape the car.) She drives like crazy!
Her car's a mess!
She drives like crazy!
She's got a death wish I guess!
Scott: She's a demon behind the wheel
Thinks she's driving the Batmobile
Burning rubber in school zones
Running over the traffic cones
Passing semis on the right
Now my knuckles are turning white!
She drives like crazy
She'll break our necks
She drives like crazy
She always gets into wrecks
Kitty: I do not! Hang on! (The car flies over a bump.)
Scott: She drives like crazy!
Like no one else!
She drives like crazy!
Now I'm afraid for myself!
(By now a cop car is chasing them. Kitty simply phases through a few houses to escape them.)
She drives like crazy!
Like no one else
She drives like crazy
And I'm afraid for myself!
(Cut to later in the day. Jean comes in and finds Scott stumbling in.)
Jean: So how did the driving lesson go? Scott? Scott?
Scott: (Curling up into a fetal position on the couch) Car bad…very bad.
Jean: Scott are you okay?
Scott: DO I LOOK OKAY? DO I LOOK OKAY? DO I?
Jean: Scott I'm sorry.
Scott: You will be. I will get you for this Jean, I swear as long as it takes that you will pay for this. The only goal in my life right now is to make you feel the way I feel right now! (He starts laughing maniacally.)
Jean: Uh…maybe I should get you some aspirin or something.
Scott: I just figured out a way to beat Magneto. It's brilliant. We just make him give Kitty a driving lesson! Ha! HA! HAHAHAHA!
(Logan comes in with a drink in his hand and sees the situation.)
Logan: Let me guess? Kitty right?
Jean: Yeah. I'm gonna get him something. (Runs out.)
Logan: I got something right here! Take a sip kid, you have earned this! (Gives Scott a sip of his drink. Obviously it is stronger than water.)
Scott: She tricked me! Jean tricked me! I thought she loved me but she tricked me!
Logan: Okay, those telepaths are going down!