Chapter Four:
Waking Up and
John Jacob Jinglehighmer Smith
"Ugh...where am I?" Harry Potter sat up.
"Finally," A man's voice said
"Huh?" Harry said bewildered as he spun his head around. He couldn't believe what he beheld in his own eyes. It wasn't true, it couldn't be. He saw Lily and James Potter.
"Hi!" Harry's mother said cheerily.
Harry fainted.
"You O.K.?" Lily said, shaking him.
"Um...yeah." Harry said kind of offhandedly. "But you, you're dead!'' Harry exclaimed.
"We know, but so are you, so were all even." James explained matter-of- factly.
Harry fainted again.
"Come on! Snap out of it!" James said.
"Take it easy on the boy, he just died." Lily told her husband.
"O.K. I'll try. Harry I'm James, this is Lily, you're dead. Don't go fainting again, because then there is something definitely wrong with you, in which case you should see a doctor, but that's impossible because you can't get sick when you're dead." After that he gave Lily a look that just screamed 'Better!!!'. And Lily gave him a look that just screamed 'You make no sense!'
Lilly rolled her eyes. "He's right, you can't get sick, but you can feel pain." After this Lily jabbed James in the stomach.
"What did you do that for?" James said as he clutched his stomach.
"Just demonstrating," Lily said with a devilish smile.
"Do you guys ever get along?" Harry asked.
"We get along perfectly...well...maybe not PERFECTLY, but..um...yeah, let's change the subject," Lily said. Harry rolled his eyes.
"Don't you roll your eyes at me!" Lily said.
James rolled his eyes.
"You know not to roll your eyes at me!" Lily said sharply earning James a slap on the back of the head.
"You're mean!" James whined.
"I know!" Lily said in an angelic voice.
Harry gave them each a look, "You guys are crazy."
"But, of course!" James said happily.
Lily rolled her eyes. "Anyway, let's get somewhere more comfortable, the kitchen is a little busy."
Harry turned around and saw several of house elves working. It must have been right before dinner time.
"Come on. Let's go." James said. He got up and walked over to the entrance to the kitchens, then, he opened the door.
"What did you do that for?" Harry said.
"What do mean?" James said.
"Why did you open the door? I mean, we're dead, can't we just walk through doors and walls...?" Harry said, but was interrupted by Lily.
"You're thinking of ghosts. We are not ghosts, we're lost," Lily said, she explained.
"Lost?" Harry questioned.
"We will explain every thing, just come with us," James said.
With that Lily and James escorted Harry to The Great Hall. When they arrived it was deserted. They all sat down at the Gryffindor table.
"Ask us anything you want to know about being lost," Lily told her son.
Harry thought for a second then began, "Um...O.K...What about the whole door thing, you know, if we're dead, why can't we just walk right though them?''
''We're not ghosts, we're lost, we told you that already," James said.
"Yeah but, what's the difference?"
"A ghost can be seen by living beings, but lost souls can not be seen," Lily tried to briefly explain.
"But why, or rather, how, did we become lost instead of becoming ghosts?" Harry questioned.
"Well...that's a bit harder to explain," Lily began. "In order to explain that, I have to explain the three types of death. First there are ghosts, you become a ghost when in your lifetime a spell is put on you and when you die you become a ghost. Then there's lost. You become lost when you die of unnatural causes. And finally there is judgment."
"Judgment?"
"Yes. The deciding whether you go to heaven or hell. You come to this state if you die of natural causes," James explained.
Harry sat for a minute thinking of his next question. "What about the door thing , I mean , why can't we walk through doors?"
"It's because our minds think were still living," James said.
"What?" It was hard to grasp the concept.
"Well," Lily started, '' Your eyes see you living so they trick your mind into thinking you're living. And your fingers feel you living, So they have the same effect as your eyes do. So your mind thinks your solid, so you are solid, except when something living is involved. See, a living mind is much more powerful than a dead mind, when you touch something living you pass right through them,"
Harry sat, processing the information. They were right. He didn't feel dead, he didn't look dead, but he was .How could he not be? Harry thought of the question he had in his mind since he found out he was dead. "What about my cloths, how can I be wearing my school cloak if I died and it didn't?
"Um...I...don't really know that...you take this one honey." James said turning to Lily.
"Beats me," Lily said.
"Then I'll take this one!"
"Amily!!! You finally came! Harry has been awake for half an hour," Lily exclaimed.
"Yes, yes, yes, back to the question. Harry, honey it's quite simple. You are wearing clothes because you don't want to wake up naked."
Harry stared blankly with a very stupid look on his face, "Who are you?"
"Oh!!! I'm Amily!!!!!!! You great-grandmother!!!!!!! Or your mother's grand mother!!!!!!!!!! Or your grandmothers mother!!!!!!!!! Or your mother's mother's mother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" All of this Amily said with all the crazy hyperness of a young girl on her way to a carnival with a sack full of candies in her hand.
"Calm down GRANNY!" Lily cried.
"Don't call me granny, it makes me feel old," Amily said, "I'm younger than you are!!!"
"NO you are NOT!" Lily snapped back.
"YES, I am. I died when I was 22 and you died when you were 23, so boo- hoo you old fart!!"
***********************************
Ron was standing in the middle of platform nine and 3/4, for no reason, in fact, he didn't even know how he got there. At that moment a young boy walked past humming the tune to John Jacob Jinglehighmer Smith. Ron hated that song, he thought it was the most annoying song on the whole planet. Fred and George used to stay up late and sing that song right out side Ron's door. A second later, another boy walked in and introduced himself.
"Hi, I'm John Jacob Jingelhighmer Smith," The second boy said.
"So am I!" said the other boy.
With that the 2 boys broke out in song, "John Jacob Jinglehighmer Smith, his name is my name to---. When ever we go out, the people always shout, there goes John Jacob Jinglehighmer Smith!"
As soon they had finished singing, and thoroughly annoyed Ron, five other boys, all of which named were John Jacob Jinglehighmer Smith, walked onto platform 9 3/4, and the transaction went much the same, ending with 7 boys singing, "John Jacob Jinglehighmer Smith, his name is my name to---. When ever we go out, the people always shout, there goes John Jacob Jinglehighmer Smith."
Ron had his hands plastered to his ears and screamed all through the song.
All of a sudden a hundred more kids came onto platform nine and 3/4. "John Jacob Jinglehighmer Smith, his name is my name to---. When ever we go out, the people always shout, there goes----"
"AAAHHHHH!!!!!!" Ron screamed as he sat up, he was in his four poster bed, he could hear someone humming in there sleep. It was the tune of John Jacob Jinglehighmer Smith. It was Neville. For that second Ron hated Neville more than anything.
So Ron took his wand off the side table and pointed it over Neville and suddenly a huge stream of water was crashing down on the poor innocent sleeping boy.
"AaAaAaaAAaaaaaaaAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Neville screamed as he tried to escape the rush of water.
Ron sat down at breakfast next to Hermione. "I almost drowned Neville an hour ago."
"WHAT!!" Hermione said spitting out all her pumpkin juice and splattering an unfortunate Neville.
"He was humming John Jacob Jinglehighmer Smith." Ron said
"Oh" Hermione said blinking. This was quite an odd discussion.
There was a flutter over everyone's heads, the mail had finally arrived. A large letter dropped in front of Hermione. "This must be the acceptance letter."
"Acceptance letter?" Ron asked confused, "For what?"
"The Hogwarts-Beaxbatons exchange program." Hermione told him. "My replacement is going to be... Sarah Sevenish. That's not a very French name." Hermione remarked.
"Where is my buttercup?" Draco said as he walked over to the Gryffindor table.
"Hi honey-poo." Hermione said as she pecked him on the cheek.
"You've changed Draco." Ron said. [How profound] "You went from dick- wad Malfoy to baby-talk Draco." [Even more so.]
"Well you went from numb-nuts Weasley to red Ron." Draco said with a not so friendly tone.
A. N. Hello! Sorry 'bout my up-date issue. I don't have my own computer...so... well I'll try a bit harder to up-date peoples. See- ya!
"Ugh...where am I?" Harry Potter sat up.
"Finally," A man's voice said
"Huh?" Harry said bewildered as he spun his head around. He couldn't believe what he beheld in his own eyes. It wasn't true, it couldn't be. He saw Lily and James Potter.
"Hi!" Harry's mother said cheerily.
Harry fainted.
"You O.K.?" Lily said, shaking him.
"Um...yeah." Harry said kind of offhandedly. "But you, you're dead!'' Harry exclaimed.
"We know, but so are you, so were all even." James explained matter-of- factly.
Harry fainted again.
"Come on! Snap out of it!" James said.
"Take it easy on the boy, he just died." Lily told her husband.
"O.K. I'll try. Harry I'm James, this is Lily, you're dead. Don't go fainting again, because then there is something definitely wrong with you, in which case you should see a doctor, but that's impossible because you can't get sick when you're dead." After that he gave Lily a look that just screamed 'Better!!!'. And Lily gave him a look that just screamed 'You make no sense!'
Lilly rolled her eyes. "He's right, you can't get sick, but you can feel pain." After this Lily jabbed James in the stomach.
"What did you do that for?" James said as he clutched his stomach.
"Just demonstrating," Lily said with a devilish smile.
"Do you guys ever get along?" Harry asked.
"We get along perfectly...well...maybe not PERFECTLY, but..um...yeah, let's change the subject," Lily said. Harry rolled his eyes.
"Don't you roll your eyes at me!" Lily said.
James rolled his eyes.
"You know not to roll your eyes at me!" Lily said sharply earning James a slap on the back of the head.
"You're mean!" James whined.
"I know!" Lily said in an angelic voice.
Harry gave them each a look, "You guys are crazy."
"But, of course!" James said happily.
Lily rolled her eyes. "Anyway, let's get somewhere more comfortable, the kitchen is a little busy."
Harry turned around and saw several of house elves working. It must have been right before dinner time.
"Come on. Let's go." James said. He got up and walked over to the entrance to the kitchens, then, he opened the door.
"What did you do that for?" Harry said.
"What do mean?" James said.
"Why did you open the door? I mean, we're dead, can't we just walk through doors and walls...?" Harry said, but was interrupted by Lily.
"You're thinking of ghosts. We are not ghosts, we're lost," Lily said, she explained.
"Lost?" Harry questioned.
"We will explain every thing, just come with us," James said.
With that Lily and James escorted Harry to The Great Hall. When they arrived it was deserted. They all sat down at the Gryffindor table.
"Ask us anything you want to know about being lost," Lily told her son.
Harry thought for a second then began, "Um...O.K...What about the whole door thing, you know, if we're dead, why can't we just walk right though them?''
''We're not ghosts, we're lost, we told you that already," James said.
"Yeah but, what's the difference?"
"A ghost can be seen by living beings, but lost souls can not be seen," Lily tried to briefly explain.
"But why, or rather, how, did we become lost instead of becoming ghosts?" Harry questioned.
"Well...that's a bit harder to explain," Lily began. "In order to explain that, I have to explain the three types of death. First there are ghosts, you become a ghost when in your lifetime a spell is put on you and when you die you become a ghost. Then there's lost. You become lost when you die of unnatural causes. And finally there is judgment."
"Judgment?"
"Yes. The deciding whether you go to heaven or hell. You come to this state if you die of natural causes," James explained.
Harry sat for a minute thinking of his next question. "What about the door thing , I mean , why can't we walk through doors?"
"It's because our minds think were still living," James said.
"What?" It was hard to grasp the concept.
"Well," Lily started, '' Your eyes see you living so they trick your mind into thinking you're living. And your fingers feel you living, So they have the same effect as your eyes do. So your mind thinks your solid, so you are solid, except when something living is involved. See, a living mind is much more powerful than a dead mind, when you touch something living you pass right through them,"
Harry sat, processing the information. They were right. He didn't feel dead, he didn't look dead, but he was .How could he not be? Harry thought of the question he had in his mind since he found out he was dead. "What about my cloths, how can I be wearing my school cloak if I died and it didn't?
"Um...I...don't really know that...you take this one honey." James said turning to Lily.
"Beats me," Lily said.
"Then I'll take this one!"
"Amily!!! You finally came! Harry has been awake for half an hour," Lily exclaimed.
"Yes, yes, yes, back to the question. Harry, honey it's quite simple. You are wearing clothes because you don't want to wake up naked."
Harry stared blankly with a very stupid look on his face, "Who are you?"
"Oh!!! I'm Amily!!!!!!! You great-grandmother!!!!!!! Or your mother's grand mother!!!!!!!!!! Or your grandmothers mother!!!!!!!!! Or your mother's mother's mother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" All of this Amily said with all the crazy hyperness of a young girl on her way to a carnival with a sack full of candies in her hand.
"Calm down GRANNY!" Lily cried.
"Don't call me granny, it makes me feel old," Amily said, "I'm younger than you are!!!"
"NO you are NOT!" Lily snapped back.
"YES, I am. I died when I was 22 and you died when you were 23, so boo- hoo you old fart!!"
***********************************
Ron was standing in the middle of platform nine and 3/4, for no reason, in fact, he didn't even know how he got there. At that moment a young boy walked past humming the tune to John Jacob Jinglehighmer Smith. Ron hated that song, he thought it was the most annoying song on the whole planet. Fred and George used to stay up late and sing that song right out side Ron's door. A second later, another boy walked in and introduced himself.
"Hi, I'm John Jacob Jingelhighmer Smith," The second boy said.
"So am I!" said the other boy.
With that the 2 boys broke out in song, "John Jacob Jinglehighmer Smith, his name is my name to---. When ever we go out, the people always shout, there goes John Jacob Jinglehighmer Smith!"
As soon they had finished singing, and thoroughly annoyed Ron, five other boys, all of which named were John Jacob Jinglehighmer Smith, walked onto platform 9 3/4, and the transaction went much the same, ending with 7 boys singing, "John Jacob Jinglehighmer Smith, his name is my name to---. When ever we go out, the people always shout, there goes John Jacob Jinglehighmer Smith."
Ron had his hands plastered to his ears and screamed all through the song.
All of a sudden a hundred more kids came onto platform nine and 3/4. "John Jacob Jinglehighmer Smith, his name is my name to---. When ever we go out, the people always shout, there goes----"
"AAAHHHHH!!!!!!" Ron screamed as he sat up, he was in his four poster bed, he could hear someone humming in there sleep. It was the tune of John Jacob Jinglehighmer Smith. It was Neville. For that second Ron hated Neville more than anything.
So Ron took his wand off the side table and pointed it over Neville and suddenly a huge stream of water was crashing down on the poor innocent sleeping boy.
"AaAaAaaAAaaaaaaaAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Neville screamed as he tried to escape the rush of water.
Ron sat down at breakfast next to Hermione. "I almost drowned Neville an hour ago."
"WHAT!!" Hermione said spitting out all her pumpkin juice and splattering an unfortunate Neville.
"He was humming John Jacob Jinglehighmer Smith." Ron said
"Oh" Hermione said blinking. This was quite an odd discussion.
There was a flutter over everyone's heads, the mail had finally arrived. A large letter dropped in front of Hermione. "This must be the acceptance letter."
"Acceptance letter?" Ron asked confused, "For what?"
"The Hogwarts-Beaxbatons exchange program." Hermione told him. "My replacement is going to be... Sarah Sevenish. That's not a very French name." Hermione remarked.
"Where is my buttercup?" Draco said as he walked over to the Gryffindor table.
"Hi honey-poo." Hermione said as she pecked him on the cheek.
"You've changed Draco." Ron said. [How profound] "You went from dick- wad Malfoy to baby-talk Draco." [Even more so.]
"Well you went from numb-nuts Weasley to red Ron." Draco said with a not so friendly tone.
A. N. Hello! Sorry 'bout my up-date issue. I don't have my own computer...so... well I'll try a bit harder to up-date peoples. See- ya!