Disclaimer:  The characters of Fushigi Yuugi aren't mine.  I've grown my own army of anime characters. Kekekekekekekekekeke!  From there has stemmed the characters of Jiyuna, Ayuru (NOT NAKAGO), Bishopu, Zenjirou, Inoshira... and whoever else decides to join the fic!  Also, the name of the fic is an Audiovent song... my faaaavorite... DOWNLOAD IT!  ^_____^

Warning:  SHOUNEN AI!  yes, there are gay themes in this fic, as there have been in most of them as of late... damn my gay friends! ^___^  Um, language, vomiting blood... and so far that's all...

Summary:  Sequel to "Search for the Shinzaho."  Hotohori and Jiyuna's child, Ayuru, is sick of palace life, and when the vengeful son of Soi and Nakago kidnaps one of his parents, he's on a quest with the other seishi to save his family... and maybe find some love along the way...

Sweet Frustration

by:  Kei-chan

I:  Goodbye...

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A young man ran through the Imperial Forest, one hand shielding his eyes from the sun, the other holding his completely uncomfortable ducky shoes.  As he ran, his dark red hair fell loose of its carefully styled bun, cascaded about his shoulders and down his back in silken waves.  Oh, Otousan's not gonna like that... he thought.

He dodged trees, holding his formal robes up around his thighs.  He ducked under branches, and leapt over roots with only one thought echoing in his mind.

I am so dead.  I am so dead.  Okaasan and Otoutsan are going to kill me.  I am so dead...

When he finally reached the palace walkway, he glanced down the length of it, made sure no one was there, and paused to put his shoes on.  Then he began running along it, until a hand shot of a door and pulled him roughly into the room.

The young man was met by cheerful, yet irritated brown eyes.  "Ayuru-sama!  Your parents have been waiting for you for an hour!  And look at your hair!  What would your father say if you went into the throne room like that?"

He hung his head.  "Gomen ne, Bishopu-san .  I lost track of time."

Bishopu shook her head, gathered Ayuru's hair back into its bun, and secured it with a hidden clip.  "Now get moving!  Maaaataku... sometimes  I wonder how you reached 20 without getting yourself killed!"

The man grinned at his beloved nanny and hustled out the door, walking briskly down the walkway toward the throne room.  He knew that's where they would be.  Okaasan and Otousan always entertained annoying nobles in the throne room.

When he reached the doors, he paused, straightened and smoothed his robes.  He gave the guards a nod, and they opened the heavy doors with sweeping bows.

Standing near the front, just below the thrones, were five people.  Ayuru knew two of them.  Taking a deep breath, and standing tall and regal, he began walking slowly and properly toward them.

The emperor of Konan, Seishuku Saihitei, also known as the Suzaku shichiseishi Hotohori, had looked up when the doors opened.  When he saw his son striding down the red carpet toward him, a proud smile broke out onto his face.  Beside him, the empress Seishuku Jiyuna stiffened, ready to berate her child for being late, but Saihitei had already walked over to greet him.

He pulled him into a small hug, and as he did, whispered in his ear, "Your mother is going to kill you."  Then, he turned, and, with a smile, presented the other people.

"Lord and Lady Xong, may I present my son, his royal highness Seishuku Ayuru."

Ayuru bowed properly, a polite smile plastered on his face.  "It's an honor to meet you Lord Xong, Lady Xong," he said automatically.

"This is our daughter, Mika," Lady Xong said, resting her hands on a young girl's shoulders.

Which is exactly what she was.  Mika couldn't have been much older than 15.  She was shorter than Ayuru, had not yet gained the curves of a woman, and didn't seem to want to be there.  Nevertheless, she bowed her head and curtseyed gracefully.  "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Your Highness," she said.

Ayuru regarded her with a comical gaze.  Go back to the doll house, he thought.

"Will you be joining us for dinner tonight?" Jiyuna asked.

The two nobles smiled.  "Of course!"

"Then we shall see you then.  The guards will take you to your rooms," Saihitei finished, and with Jiyuna on his arm and Ayuru following, walked out of the throne room and into the long conference room.

Once inside, Jiyuna turned to Ayuru.  "Where have you been, Ayuru?  We waited in there for an hour!"

"Sumimasen, Okaasan!" Ayuru said.  "I was in the forest, and I lost track of time."

"Ayuru... that's the third time in as many months!"  Jiyuna sighed.  "You're twenty years old, when are you going to start taking responsibility?"

"I know, I know.  But I can't stand these stuck-up nobles' daughters!  All they are is pretty-looking.  There probably isn't an ounce of personality in any of them, and they're looking for a crown, and someone who can give them a kid to put on the throne.  I want someone will love me for me, and not the position I hold."

Saihitei stared at his son.  He looked much like him.  His eyes were the same warm amber color as his, and his hair was wavy and thick, though the color of his mother's.  His cheekbones were high and defined, and he held herself much like a warrior than an arrogant prince.  His words struck a chord in him, and he remembered a time when he had said the same thing.  Then Miaka had come, and the other seishi... and Jiyuna.

Jiyuna... the woman who had truly loved him not because he was emperor, but because of who he was.  He nodded then.

"Ayuru, I understand what you're saying.  But, please, try to be on time on for these things.  Delaying the inevitable meeting of these "stuck-up nobles' daughters" won't make them go away.  It's not your fault that you take after me in your looks."  Then he added with a wry grin, "but you better get used to it."

He nodded, and grinned at Saihitei.  "I love you, Otousan."

He clapped the young man on the shoulder, smiled.  "I love you to, my son."

Jiyuna stepped forward hugged him tightly.  "Okay, all right.  Go get out of those formal clothes for a while.  I know you hate them."

"Woo!"  Ayuru ran out of the room and back to his bed chambers.

Jiyuna and Saihitei stared after him, shaking their heads.  "He gets more like you everyday," Saihitei said.

"Me?  What about you?" Jiyuna asked, a wide smile gracing her face.

He raised his arms in defeat. "I was never deliberately late for meetings."

"No," Jiyuna agreed.  "You just told your advisors that you couldn't marry any of the harem girls because you were more beautiful than them."

"Well, I was," he admitted.  "But, then you came along... and made things different."

His wife walked up to him, wrapped her arms around his chest.  "If it makes you feel better, you're still beautiful," she said.

"Mm, so are you."

Saihitei looked down at Jiyuna.  "But what in the name of Suzaku are we going to do with our son?"

Jiyuna started to laugh.  "Just let him be himself."

He groaned.  "I'm too old for this."

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When Ayuru reached his bedchambers, he pulled the heavy robes off, left them lying in a heap on the floor.  He grabbed a pair of his favorite trousers in green, and a long orange tunic with the royal emblem on it.  A green tie secured around his waist, and he let his hair down to hang in a loose pony-tail that trailed down to his waist.

The door opened and Bishopu burst in.  "Ayuru-sama!  I wish you'd stop throwing your robes on the floor, I don't care how much you don't like them."

"Gomen, Bishopu-san," he said, rushing over to give her a kiss on the cheek.  "What would I do without you?"

Bishopu giggled.  "Probably a lot more than you do now."  She bent down to retrieve the rumpled robes, shook them out.  "Are you stuck going to dinner?"

"Hai," Ayuru pouted.  "And that kid's so damned young.  I'd be better off playing dolls with her than marrying her."

"Patience, Ayuru-sama," she said.
Ayuru walked toward the door.  "I'd rather not get married at all, Bishopu-san!" he yelled, stepping out onto the walkway.  As he walked along, he thought about his parents.  He knew it wasn't their fault that all the nobles wanted their daughters to marry him, he was the son of the Emperor of Konan, and heir to the throne.  The woman who married him would eventually become Empress, and would have a portion of the land to herself, and since Ayuru had reached his twentieth birthday, the nobles in all four countries were scrambling to have their daughters meet, and attempt to charm him.

"Good luck," he thought aloud.  It seemed that all nobles were fashioned from two molds.  They were either beautiful with no personality, and only wanted the title, or they weren't very pretty, boring and shy, and were only there because their parent's made them come.  Ayuru had yet to meet a noble he liked.

He jumped over the railing of the walkway, heading off into the Imperial forest.  There was a clearing a few miles from the palace where he practiced his fencing and martial arts.  It was the place he went when he needed to work off steam.

Today, there was a lot of steam to be worked off.

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Cold, piercing blue eyes glared angrily into muddy brown ones.  "God dammit, Yoshi!  Take back what you said!"

Annoying high-pitched laughter grated his nerves.  "You know what, Haku-san?  I do take it back.  Your mom's not a whore... she's a dirty, slutty, hermit!  What the fuck does she do in there all day anyway?  No one ever sees her... is she deformed or some shit?"

Haku Zenjirou felt his temper bubble over.  "No one, talks about my mother like that," he hissed.  "No one."

Yoshi laughed again.  "Yeah, well... I only speak the truth.  You're a freak just like her!"

That did it.  With a war-cry, Zenjirou leapt forward, locked his arm around Yoshi's neck.  When he spoke, it was with an eerie calm, and Yoshi didn't miss the snarl on his face.  "I'm going to ask you once more.  Take back what you said about my mother."

"Fuck off!" Yoshi screamed.  "The elders were right!  You're nothing but a fuckin' bully!  Take your damned hands off me, Haku-san!  What I said was right!"

Zenjirou pulled Yoshi until their heads were touching.  "No, Yoshi.  What you said was wrong.  I'm not a bully."  His voice dropped to a whisper.  "I'm a killer."  He gripped the side of Yoshi's head, and with a grunt, twisted it until a satisfying crack was heard.  The body fell to the ground with a thump, and Zenjirou gave it an extra kick.  "Bastard," he seethed.  "Don't you know that no one talks about my family?"

Leaving the body lie, Zenjirou turned his back on Yoshi and started walking back into the village.  The village, he recalled in disgust, that had shunned he and his mother since they moved there.  It wasn't her fault that they had no money, not her fault that Zenjirou had to peddle fruit to people who walked on the road to town just to buy food, not her fault that Seiryuu had been sealed away all those years ago, leaving the country in shambles, the seishi scattered and powerless.  Zenjirou grunted.  No, not his mother's fault... it was her fault, the Empress of Konan, Jiyuna Seishuku.

Zenjirou's mother had told him stories since he was a child about his father, the brave shogun of Kutou and leader of the Seiryuu seishi, Nakago.  She told him of Nakago's conquests, and how Jiyuna betrayed him to his death.  Zenjirou hated the royal family of Kutou, even moreso than the piddling fools of the village.

The shack in which he and his mother lived sat on the road at the edge of the village.  Zenjirou opened the door, stepped inside.

"Zenjirou?  Is that you?"

"Hai, Okaasan," he replied.  His mother had been ill for quite some time, and even he knew that she was into her last days.  It pained him to no end, knowing he would lose his mother to sickness so soon.  He went into the part of the house that was sectioned off for her, saw her lying in bed.  "You look very pale today," he said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Haku Kaen smiled weakly.  "Iie, I'm all right."  As soon as the last word was out of her mouth, she began to cough violently.  Her body convulsed with every cough, and a trickle of blood ran out the corner of her mouth.

Zenjirou grabbed a cloth off the side table, held it against her mouth as she coughed.  He sighed.  She had never had to worry about getting sick when she was Soi.  Her powers kept her strong.  But, ever since the sealing of Seiryuu, and the death of Nakago, she had been susceptible to sickness and depression.  However sick she was, she wasn't stupid.  She knew what the village said about her and Zenjirou.

He felt hot tears sting his eyes.  She couldn't die, not yet.  "'Kaasan?  Daijobu ka?"

She held up a hand, still coughing.  "H-h-hai," she gasped out.  Another cough erupted from her, but this one was followed by a gagging sound.  Kaen turned to hang her head over the edge of the bed, and vomited a long stream of half-congealed blood.

Zenjirou stared in shock.  "Okaasan?!" he screamed.  "I'm going for the doctor!"

"No!" she insisted, reaching out a shaky hand to grab Zenjirou.  "No, Zenjirou.  We must talk."

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Ayuru collapsed in a sweaty heap on the cool grass of the clearing.  His limbs felt like lead, the result of practicing for hours without a break.  He stared up at the sky, at the seeming endless blue expanse, and the few white puffy clouds that lingered there.

He wondered about where his life was going.  For the twenty years that he'd been alive, he was barely outside of the palace walls.  It was always too dangerous for the heir of the Konan crown to be off gallivanting about the city.  Ayuru sighed.  He had heard too many adventures about his father and the other seishi to enjoy being stuck at one place like he was.

Then there was the problem with getting married.  His parents didn't know, but it wasn't that he didn't LIKE the girls, it was that he could never LOVE them.  Not like his parents loved each other.  What would they say if they knew their only child was an okama, a freak?

"Ayuru-sama..."

Ayuru didn't bother to sit up when he heard the soft voice of Nuriko.  The seishi always knew where to find him, and usually did.

"Konnichiwa, Nuriko-san," Ayuru said.

Nuriko sat down beside down him on the grass.  "What's wrong?"

Sitting up, Ayuru looked him.  His eyes were so damned cheerful all the time, so happy.  "Just thinking about things," he replied.

"What things?" Nuriko pressed.

"This whole thing about me getting married."

The purpled-haired man nodded in understanding.  "You haven't told them yet?"

"Iie.  How can I, Nuriko-san?  How can I disappoint them like that?"  Ayuru looked away, stared at two squirrels fighting over an acorn.  The silence was deafening.

He felt a strong hand on his shoulder.  Looking up, he saw Nuriko's eyes wide and serious, boring into his own.  "Ayuru-sama, let me tell you something."  Nuriko cleared his throat.  "My sister died when we were children."

Ayuru spoke up.  "You told me this before.  You dressed like her so she didn't die."

Nuriko nodded.  "Yes, but what I conveniently forgot to mention, since you were way too young when I told you, was that I didn't just dress like Kourin.  I became Kourin.  In fact, I spent most of my teenage years as her.  When I was old enough, I joined the harem of the palace, because I thought that she would have done that."

"You were in the harem?"

"Hai.  And, what happened was this.  While I was so busy being Kourin, I ended up being more myself that I ever had been.  I fell in love."

"With who?" Ayuru asked.

Nuriko grinned, a sparkle forming in his eye.  "Your father."

Another deafening silence found Ayuru blinking in surprise at Nuriko.  "You loved my father?"

The older man nodded.  "Yeah, I was pretty hopeless for a while.  But, then your mother came along, and we became best friends, and I realized how much they loved each other.  Besides, a few years later, I met Inoshira, and I haven't been happier."

"Wow."  Ayuru sat, a smile on his face.  "I never knew.  But still, what would they say if they found out?"
"They would tell you that they love you and that it doesn't matter.  Ayuru-sama, you have to be who you are.  You won't be happy otherwise."  Nuriko jumped up, pulled the young man to his feet.  "Take it from someone who's been there.  Don't hide who you are, not from the people that love you."

"Thanks, Nuriko-san," Ayuru said.  He wrapped his arms around the older man's shoulders, hugged him tightly.  Nuriko grinned, hugged him back.

"Now go do something productive instead of these silly combat practices," he joked.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going"

Nuriko waved as Ayuru ran off.  So much like me, he thought.  Yet so much like Hotohori-sama.

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Zenjirou gripped his mother's hand tightly.  "'Kaasan, can't this wait until the doctor has been here to check on you?"

Kaen coughed, shook her head emphatically.  "No, this is important.  Zenjirou, I'm dying, we both know that.  But right now, you have to listen to me."  She squeezed his hand, almost painfully, before continuing.  "You must avenge your father, Zenjirou.  The Seishuku family is happy, never giving what they did to us a second thought."

Zenjirou listened carefully.  If these would his mother's dying words, then it was important.

She coughed again, but continued.  "You have no one now, my son.  Your father was stolen from you before you were even bored, and now sickness is taking your mother, as well.  Take revenge on the royal family of Konan.  Make them feel what you have, the loss, the betrayal, the hate.  Do this for me, my son."

He nodded his head.  "I will do it, Mother.  Our vengeance will be had."

"Good," she said, her breath coming in wheezes now.  "I love you, my darling boy."

Zenjirou cupped her cheek.  "I love you too, Okaasan."  He was crying, he realized.  Tears poured down his cheeks, splashed onto the front of his tunic.  His jet-black hair fell free of its loose ponytail, spilled over his shoulders and in front of his face.

"Nakago..." Kaen whispered.  "I'm... coming..."

A loud, choked sob erupted from Zenjirou's throat when he saw his mother's blue eyes drift closed, and the hand that had been holding his so tightly suddenly loosen its grip.  He dropped his head onto her stomach – her very still stomach – and cried.  As the tears ran, his rage began to build.  He was angry, so very angry, and he directed that anger toward the Seishuku family.  The empress was the one at fault at here!  It was she who helped the Suzaku seishi get the shinzahos and call their god.  It was she who killed his father.  It was on she who he'd have his vengeance.

Zenjirou sat up, stared at his mother's body.  The tears were gone, replaced now by a raging hatred for the Konan royal family.  He turned away from Kaen, stumbled blindly past the cloth barrier into the other part of the house.  Under the table, he knew there was a loose floorboard... one his mother had created when they first moved there.  He flipped the table over, satisfied when it crashed into the shelf where the dishes were, smashing them.  Kneeling, he felt along the floor, searching for the hole.  When his hand hit the board that rattled, he knew he had found it.  He pulled his knife out of his boot, and jammed it into the edge of the board, lifting it up.

The box was there, as he knew it would be.  He extracted it from the hole, opened it up.  A grin spread across his face.  His mother was smart, saving up for years, knowing Zenjirou would need it eventually.  What money she had stashed would get him a good place to live, far away from the village.

Hurriedly, Zenjirou packed some clothes, grabbed his bedding.  He ran out the door to the small barn where their only horse was kept.  Zenjirou's pride and joy, he had named the horse Suba.  He had bought it for only 50 gold ryou from one of the villagers.  The horse was uncontrollable, and the man who owned it was just going to shoot it, until Zenjirou offered to buy him.  The man agreed, and Zenjirou got his own horse.

He threw everything onto the back of Suba, saddled him, and walked back to the house for one last thing.

Standing at the side of his mother's bed, Zenjirou felt his heart drop to his stomach.  He leaned down, brushed his lips across her still warm forehead.  "Sayonara, Okaasan," he whispered.

At the door of the small house, Zenjirou turned away from it, and tossed a torch in the door.  As the wood caught and was engulfed in flames, the young man walked away, mounted Suba, and rode away, not looking back.

It was time to get his revenge.

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TBC...

Well... what d'ya'll think?  Terrible?  Confusing?  Just okay?  All comments welcome... and perhaps, just perhaps, I won't leave this go like I've left all my other ones go. ^_____^