The End
Kagome awoke the next morning feeling as though she was in a swimming pool. She wiped her forehead to see that she was sweating to an overwhelmingly large extent so she stopped to wonder why the air conditioning wasn't on and the heating was instead. She sat up and looked in front of her to see the heat ripples forming and moving and being…heat ripples. Come on, you know what we're talking about. This is awesome. We do the work again. YAY!!!
So she got up and realized that she was definitely not dreaming and that the temperature was AWFULLY high. She made her way over to the thermometer to see that some kind of crazy fool had turned the heating up all the way as well as turned off the air conditioning. So she turned the air conditioning on and the heating off. Cause she's smart.
Then she walked over to Miroku who was still ever so ill and under all his blankets. The mere sight of someone being under all their blankets like that kind of bothered Kagome so she ripped all of them off. "Miroku!" she yelled. "Wake up!"
He turned around and opened his eyes very slowly.
"Are you COLD?!" she practically screamed.
"No…I am actually quite warm." He replied.
"Your face is as red as…um…something that is red!" said Kagome knavishly.
"It's the spots." Miroku replied.
"No, I meant in those areas that DON'T have the spots." Kagome said. "I'm gonna go and get the nurse." Then she frolicked off in a quickened fashion and returned a few moments later with the nurse.
"Now let's just check your temperature." Said the nurse as she shoved a thermometer in Miroku's mouth. While she was waiting for the mercury to reach its peak, she decided to create small talk because Miroku has something in his mouth so, like a dentist, she talked to someone who can't talk back. "Feeling a little better? No, I didn't think so, you actually look a lot worse than you did yesterday and you'll probably get even worse tomorrow!"
Miroku groaned and the nurse chuckled warmly at his pain.
"So anyway, I should check that thermometer now." Said the nurse as she pulled the thermometer out to look at it. "Well…that's a bit high…"
"The heat was on really high." Said Kagome.
"Well, all of my nurse training has told me that if someone's temperature is this high then it calls for…AN ICE BATH!!!" the nurse declared as if she were excited. She giggled and ran off with a skip in her step.
"What is an ice bath?" Miroku asked Kagome.
"I had one once." Kagome answered. "They fill an bathtub up with ice and then drop you in it just so they can lower your temperature down so it isn't um…I don't know…life threatening."
"I'm going to die from something called the chicken pox!" Miroku nearly whined as he put his hands on his face. At that exact moment, Sango ran in.
"DON'T DIE HOSH-SAMA!!" she screamed. Then she realized that he was ever so much alive. "Don't say things like that! Is it really fatal, Kagome?!"
"It COULD be if we don't do something about it!" said Kagome. They could hear the nurse in the bathroom humming merrily to herself and pouring ice into the bathtub.
"It's almost ready!" she called.
"Why are you so happy about this?" asked Kagome as she poked her head into the bathroom.
"Well, usually I only get scraped knees and bloody noses, now I figure I am at least useful!" the nurse replied. Then she walked into the other room and walked over to Miroku. "You can wear your bathing suit if you feel uncomfortable but I need to watch you because you have a tendency of passing out or falling asleep and I wouldn't want that to happen!"
Miroku nodded as the nurse took him into the bathroom for his torture.
"You shouldn't be in here Sango." Said Kagome. "I wouldn't want you getting the chicken pox too."
"But I have something to say to Hosh-sama." Said Sango.
"Can't wait until later, huh?" asked Kagome with a wink.
"It's nothing like that!!" Sango yelled.
Suddenly, the door opened and Inu-Yasha was standing there.
"Are we going home yet?" he asked. Kagome suddenly gasped because, much to her dismay, Inu-Yasha's face was covered in little red dots.
"Inu-Yasha, you're face is covered in little red dots!" Kagome shrieked as she pulled out a pocket mirror and showed him. He looked in the mirror for a second and then shrugged.
"Whatever." He said. He couldn't help but wonder why Miroku had to go to the nurse over something like little red dots. It's not like the little red dots actually DID anything to bother him. Kagome, however, looked very angry and started ranting and raving about how she never should have allowed Miroku to go and sit next to Inu-Yasha during the skits or anything like that. Inu-Yasha didn't really care. The dots would probably go away in…a few hours…
The nurse came back in just then. "Everything's going to be just fine." She informed the three. The nurse suddenly started smiling.
"Why are you smiling so deviously?!" Sango demanded.
"You should have seen the expression on his face when he first got in the tub!" the nurse replied as she slapped her knee. The three of them would have dove on the nurse and killed her right then and there if not she had just gone and saved Miroku's life. Awwwww!!!
"So have all the kids gone yet?" asked Kagome. Inu-Yasha and Sango nodded. "Then perhaps I shall call my mother."
Then Kagome picked up the phone, called her mother, got in a heated conversation about her disastrous week and then hung up.
"She'll be here in a little while. Maybe an hour or two." Kagome said as if Inu-Yasha and Sango had both asked her. Kagome's eyes then traveled back to the dots on Inu-Yasha's face. "Are you SURE you're feeling okay?"
"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha.
"So is Hosh-sama just pretending to be sick?" asked Sango. "And the spots are the only thing really wrong with him and they're nothing?"
Suddenly, they all heard Miroku's pathetic sounding voice from the other room asking if he could get out of the tub because he was cold.
The nurse grabbed her thermometer and dashed into the other room all too excitedly.
"No." said Kagome. "I don't think he's pretending."
"So why am I fine?" asked Inu-Yasha.
"Maybe they're just mosquito bites." Suggested Kagome. Everyone simultaneously shrugged way too flamboyantly and decided to forget it all. "So anyway, we should all have our final breakfast here and say goodbye to everyone!"
"I have no one to say goodbye to and the food is horrible." Said Inu-Yasha.
"Same here." Said Sango.
"Well, we're doing it anyway!" said Kagome as she grabbed both of their hands and pulled them out the door.
"What about Hosh-sama?!" asked Sango. "He is ever so sick and we need to make sure he doesn't die while we're out saying goodbye to people I will never see again and eating food that I will be glad to say goodbye to forever!"
"Whoa Sango…" said Inu-Yasha. "Calm down…"
"Under normal circumstances, I would allow you to stay but while he is ever so sick, he is also ever so contagious so let's get out of here before you get it too!"
Kagome then successfully dragged both Inu-Yasha and Sango into the main dining hall area where all the counselors were sitting around talking, shmoozing and eating. Kagome sprouted off and started bidding farewell to everyone there while Sango and Inu-Yasha just sort of stood there.
"Inu-Yasha!!" came a familiar voice. Inu-Yasha turned around hesitantly to be bombarded by a hug from Ms Keri. "I'm going to miss you so much! See you next year though?"
"Nope." Said Inu-Yasha. "I'm sorry to tell you that I'm never coming back, although, I'm happy about this decision."
"That's terrible news!" cried Ms Keri. Then she pulled out a piece of paper and began scribbling something on it. "Here's my e-mail address and here's my telephone number! Perhaps we'll meet up again!"
And with that, Ms Keri strutted off to say goodbye to her best friend, Ms April.
There were really no other counselors that either Sango or Inu-Yasha said goodbye to or were said goodbye to by. They just spent an hour standing in the middle of the room with fake smiles plastered across their faces when suddenly, Kagome came over to them with her mother.
"Well…I guess it's about time we left." She said with an emotional tone. "Say goodbye to this place guys."
"Um…bye camp." Said Sango unenthusiastically.
"I don't think so." said Inu-Yasha.
"I already picked up your other little friend, Kagome." Said Kagome's mother as the four of them made their way to the Higurashi family car. It's not a van most unfortunately. "I gave him the entire back seat so we'll all have to squish up front."
"Kagome, he's not contagious to you, why don't you sit with him?" suggested Inu-Yasha.
Kagome wasn't about to give up a chance to sit REALLY close to Inu-Yasha this easily.
"No, I think he needs all the room he can get." Said Kagome quickly.
Inu-Yasha looked at the car and then at Miroku in the back lying down across all three seats and then back at the front seat where there was one seat and then one tiny little seat in the middle and Kagome's stupid mother in the driver's seat. Then he looked back at Kagome. "No way."
"COME ON!!" Kagome nearly shrieked. "It's not THAT long of a ride!"
"Yes it is." Said Sango. "I remember the ride here and it took your mom this long to get here."
"Then YOU sit in the backseat with Miroku." Said Kagome.
"I'M the only one who shouldn't though!" Sango argued. "You've already got them and Inu-Yasha appears to have them right now and I'M the healthy one! Maybe we should just put all the sick and contagious people in the backseat!"
"I'M not sitting back there with Miroku!" Inu-Yasha declared.
Miroku leaned up and looked at everyone outside.
"I hate you all." He said.
"It's not THAT…" said Kagome as she averted her eyes. "These two just don't want to get what you have!"
"Which is why YOU should sit back there, Kagome!" said Inu-Yasha.
"I want to sit by myself anyway." Said Miroku as he scoffed and lied down.
"See! That's what he wants!" said Kagome. "We should just all get in the front seat and drive home."
So Kagome's mom got into the driver's seat with Sango to her right, Kagome to Sango's right and Inu-Yasha in the passenger's seat sitting in such a fashion that one should not sit when sitting with three other people in a small compact area.
"Since driving with this many people up front is somewhat illegal, I'm going follow the speed limit so as not to get pulled over." Said Kagome's mom. "So it might take longer than it did before. I hope no one minds."
"Excuse me." Said Inu-Yasha. "I happen to mind a lot! Drive faster than you normally would drive so that I can go home as fast as possible!"
Kagome's mother looked at Inu-Yasha. "Do you have the chicken pox too?" she asked obliviously. Inu-Yasha flipped down the mirror that was in the front seat and looked at himself.
"Yeah, I do, is there a problem?" he said, sounding annoyed.
"Don't speak to my mother that way!" Kagome commanded. "She's just concerned about you, that's all!"
"I don't need her concerning over me!" Inu-Yasha said, crossing his arms.
"Don't cross your arms, you're taking up more space!" Kagome said as she started pushing Inu-Yasha.
"Ha!" said Inu-Yasha as he made himself comfortable and sat Indian style. "It was YOUR fault for not sitting in the backseat with Miroku!"
"How about we just listen to some music?" Kagome's mother suggested as she leaned over and turned on her Sonic CD that was really cool. But wouldn't you know it? Kagome started whining and put on her Sugar Beats CD that was really stupid so they threw the CD out the window and put the Sonic one back on.
Sango suddenly turned around to check on Miroku. "How are you feeling, Hosh-sama?" she asked.
"I'm trying to get some sleep but you guys are just putting on blaring music up as high as you can get it!" Miroku yelled. Actually, it wasn't really a yell. It was more of a whine. But it sounded like a yell to him so that's what we'll call it but you know and I know deep down in our hearts that he was whining. Not yelling. So don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
"You've slept all day yesterday!" Sango yelled.
"I'm tired." Miroku whined. Now this was just a full-fledged whine. Even Miroku himself knew that this was a whine and that's what he was going for.
Sango just kind of nodded and smiled patiently. She figured that she can't hit Miroku when he is feeling under the weather but when he is well, she can get angry at him with no reason at all and just hit him! So Sango turned forward.
"Inu-Yasha! I have no room!" she yelled at Inu-Yasha. "Move over or at least sit as if you're TRYING to be polite!"
"Why should I try to be polite?" asked Inu-Yasha.
"Because there are four people sitting in three seats and you're taking up one and a half!" Sango yelled.
Inu-Yasha looked at Sango and then looked as though he intentionally spread himself out even more. Sango groaned and I guess it never really occurred to her that she was surrounded by contagious people but we can just pretend as though she's NOT!! HAW HAW HAW!!!
So they drove around for a little while.
"MOVE OVER!!!" Kagome suddenly yelled as she began to push Inu-Yasha.
"Kagome!" exclaimed Kagome's stupid mom. "You could be a little nicer to your guest!"
"Yeah, you could." Said Inu-Yasha as if he was actually hurt.
"But he's taking up so much room!" Kagome complained. Could you stop the car for a second?"
"Yes." Said Kagome's mother as she pulled into a rest area that just so happened to be there. Kagome commanded that Inu-Yasha get out of the car so he did quite obliviously and then she got out as well. And after a few minutes of saying SIT repeatedly and a long lecture in her ANGRY voice, the two got back in the car and Inu-Yasha seemed to retract in size and take up about a third of his seat.
"That's so much better." Said Sango as the car started up again. They began a-crusin' down the road. Kagome's mother suddenly gasped and looked at the car clock thingy.
"It's almost lunch time!" she HOLL-ered. Then she swerved off the highway and pulled into a WacDnald's.
"Mom!" complained Kagome. "We just want to go home!"
"But you can't go without a good meal inside of you!" Kagome's mother scolded as she got out of the car.
"Wake up Miroku!" Kagome yelled in Miroku's ear. Miroku jolted awake but it's not like he was actually asleep but if anyone surprises you, you'll jump anyway.
"What?" he asked in a voice that was quite short tempered.
"We're going into WacDnald's!" Kagome announced. "Come on in! We wouldn't want to exclude you!"
"I'm not hungry." Miroku whined. "Leave me alone!"
"No!" Kagome commanded. "You must come in and enjoy food from my time so you don't go back into your world thinking that all the food of my time is as bad as the camp's food!"
"I won't think that, I promise!" said Miroku.
Kagome thought long and hard for another excuse. "I'm paranoid of kidnapping! I don't want you to get stolen!"
"Kagome!" called Kagome's mother. "Let's go!"
"Can't we just go through the drive through thing?" asked Sango even though she's not supposed to know what that is.
"I suppose." Said Kagome as she let go of Miroku's arm.
So everyone piled back into the car and drove through the drive through ordering their various Wappy Meals and such. Yes, they even got Miroku one and they made him eat it too because Kagome was ever so worried about Miroku's opinions of her world's food and wouldn't want him to have a jaded view of the food that he ate.
They drove around for a little while very contently exchanging very little conversation on the way. Suddenly, Kagome's mom decided that it was now time to get out and stretch since they had been driving an AWFULLY long time. So she parked in another conveniently located rest area and got out to stretch her legs.
"Can't we just go home?" came Miroku's whiney voice from the backseat.
"Don't you think I'm trying?!" demanded Kagome angrily.
She climbed over Inu-Yasha and got out of the car and began quarrelling with her mom, explaining that everyone wanted to go home like…NOW!!! Kagome's mom was about to explain the meaning of stretching and being properly nourished so that's when Kagome decided that she wanted to avoid a lecture so she climbed back over Inu-Yasha and got back in her seat.
"Sango, do you feel at all like you're coming down with the chicken pox?" asked Kagome randomly because her mom was taking a horribly long time to stretch.
"No." Sango replied. "I feel just fine."
"Are you sure?" Kagome asked.
"I'm positive."
"Okay then!" said Kagome as she turned around and looked at Inu-Yasha who was just wistfully looking out the window. "Inu-Yasha, do you feel sick in any way, shape or form?"
"No." Inu-Yasha answered plainly.
"Oh." Said Kagome with a nod. The she sat in silence for about three seconds before becoming bored and needing conversation. "How about YOU Miroku?" Then she paused. "Well…I meant any different from…five minutes ago?"
"PULL OVER!!!" Miroku yelled out of nowhere. Kagome's mother instinctively listened to him and pulled over. Miroku got out and disappeared into the woods.
"Well okay!" Said Kagome with a happy smile as they all waited for him to return. "Let's play the license plate game while he's gone!"
"How do you play the license plate game?" asked Sango.
"What's a license plate?" asked Inu-Yasha.
"Well, you see those little plates on the back of people's cars with numbers and letters on them?" asked Kagome. "THOSE are license plates!"
"So how do you play the game?" asked Sango.
"Let's look for license plates that are all numbers!" Kagome suggested.
"There's one." Said Inu-Yasha as he pointed to a car.
"There's another." Said Sango.
"This is stupid." Said Inu-Yasha.
"We haven't even been playing for ten seconds!" Kagome complained.
"Go get Miroku and let's leave!" Inu-Yasha demanded. "I really want to go home!"
"What if Hosh-sama died?" Sango wondered out loud. "What if he wanted to get out of the car so that we wouldn't get sucked in with him!"
"We'd know if he died that way." Said Kagome.
"What if the chicken pox killed him?!" Sango said. "He's dead, I know it!"
Suddenly, a pleasant gas station attendant with a tow truck pulled over.
"Need any help?" he asked.
"No." said Kagome's mother.
"Are you sure?" he asked. "I'm in the neighborhood. It's not like it's out of my way."
"No, we're just waiting for someone to return." Said Kagome's mother.
"We could pick him up on the way." Suggested the man.
"He's in the woods." Kagome's mother said, pointing to the woods.
"So you're sure you don't need any help?" the gas station man asked. Everyone said yes and then he left because though he is so incredibly pleasant, he is also knavish. They sat around for a little while before Kagome finally turned to Inu-Yasha.
"Go out and find him!" she commanded.
"Why should I?" Inu-Yasha said, sounding annoyed.
"Because you're his friend!" Kagome said.
"Sango's his friend too." Inu-Yasha pointed out.
"You already have the chicken pox!" Kagome reminded him. "And Sango doesn't."
"So?" Inu-Yasha said as if he didn't really care what happened to Miroku. Finally, Kagome gave an annoyed sigh and sat back in her seat. They all sat there foolishly in the front seat being squished and all those other kinds of things when Kagome's mother suddenly looked at the clock.
"It's been ten minutes." She said. "Maybe we should go out and find him."
"He probably got lost." Inu-Yasha said with a scoff.
"I don't know why we let him go out alone in the first place!" said Kagome as she leaned over Inu-Yasha and opened the door because he clearly looked like he didn't feel like it. She finally pushed him out and then she got out as well and Sango and Kagome's mother got out on the other side.
"I hope he's all right." Said Sango nervously.
They wandered around in the woodland area for their little friend who was actually not really all that little. They walked around in the woods and all over the place but couldn't seem to find the elusive member of their group.
MEANWHILE!!
Miroku returned to the car and climbed into the backseat.
"So what was it like being green?" asked Sango.
"I don't want to talk about it." Answered Miroku.
That's not really the conversation that happened. I just thought it needed a place in the world.
"Where were you, Hosh-sama?" asked Sango.
"In the woods." Answered Miroku plainly. Sango decided that she didn't want to continue asking him because he may die from too much talking.
"Kagome and Inu-Yasha are out searching for you." Said Sango.
"Perhaps we should go a look for them." Suggested Kagome's mom.
"But what if Hosh-sama dies while we're gone?"
"I'm not going to die just because you're not here." Said Miroku.
"But if you DID die, no one would be here to save you!"
"If I DID die, it would be too late to save me anyway."
"You've got a point." Said Sango as she and Kagome's mother climbed out of the car. "We'll be back. Don't die while we're gone!"
"I promise." Said Miroku as Sango and Kagome's mother walked into the woods.
MEANWHILE!!
"If I were Miroku, where would I be?" asked Kagome to herself.
"He probably returned as soon as we walked into the woods." Said Inu-Yasha as he stepped over a stump.
"I don't think so." Said Kagome. "We'd notice."
"I guess." Said Inu-Yasha.
"So where would YOU be if you were Miroku, Inu-Yasha?" asked Kagome.
"Do you means in terms of where I would WANT to go or where I would be if I were him in the current situation?" Inu-Yasha asked. "I'd probably be…lying somewhere…"
He looked over at Kagome who only seemed to be staring at him and not listening to what he was saying.
"What are you staring at?" he demanded angrily.
"The dots on your face are very distracting." She said immediately.
"Yeah, whatever." Inu-Yasha said angrily. All of a sudden, Sango and Kagome's mom walked around the corner and told them at Miroku had gone back to the car so they all went back to the car, got in and then started driving along like they didn't have a care in the world. Even though they do. YAY!! So anyway, they drove for a little while and had some fun and had a few front seat parties that didn't include Miroku so he was getting sad but they didn't care because he was sick and he couldn't very well party with them if he was SICK!! HAW HAW HAW!!!
"Are we almost home?" Sango asked while the announcer on the radio said what song they were going to listen to next. It was the rocking the party song.
"Oh…it shouldn't be TOO long." Said Kagome since she didn't feel like answering entirely because she wanted to the listen to the rocking the party song since it's EVERYBODY'S favorite song since it's got such clever lyrics and a lovely tune. But much to her dismay, there was an interruption telling the group that there was going to be heavy traffic up ahead that wouldn't move for a really long time and there were no exits along the way so they were doomed to be there the whole time.
"Well, looks like we're going to be stuck together for a long time." Said Kagome's mom.
"We're still moving, why don't we take that exit after that Bug Ranch up ahead." Suggested Kagome.
"PULL OVER!!!" Inu-Yasha yelled suddenly. Kagome's mom swerved and pulled over.
"We are NOT going into a stupid bug ranch!" Kagome yelled.
"Just because it's stupid to you, doesn't mean that it's stupid to everyone." Said Inu-Yasha as he got out of the car.
"It's stupid to me." Said Sango.
"Me too." Said Miroku.
"Yeah…it's pretty stupid." Said Kagome's mom.
"Besides, don't you want to get home?" asked Kagome.
"Fine!" yelled Inu-Yasha as he climbed back into the car and Kagome's mom was just about to take the exit away when some little highway patrol guys came and closed it off because a big eighteen wheeler truck had overturned on it.
"Now we're stuck in the traffic!" said Kagome's mom as if that didn't faze her at all.
"If we hadn't pulled over, we would have been able to take that exit in time!" Kagome whined.
"We've GOT to be almost home!" said Sango as if she were an impatient small child.
"Well…" started Miroku. "As many people have pointed out, that camp appeared to be in America whereas Lady Kagome lives in Japan."
"Hosh-sama…" said Sango, turning around and glaring at him. "What have we discussed in the previous story about pointing out holes in the plot?"
"Um…don't?" Miroku tried.
"Exactly." Sango said with a nod.
So they started just sitting there as the highway next to them sped along knavishly so Kagome's mother decided to turn into that highway. No sooner had they turned around did a police car come barreling down the road with the sirens over. The policeman got out of the car and started screaming like a knave at Kagome's mother for not obeying the law and then gave her a ticket for a hundred dollars and told them to go away. Kagome's mother decided that she was above the law so she threw the ticket out the window and continued driving on the now empty highway since everyone else was on the slow highway.
Finally they reached their exit and got off and started driving on the back roads for a little while. Suddenly, they heard a bang and then they slowly came to a stop.
Kagome's mother got out the car to see that they had run over a broken glass and now their tire was popped. She sighed. "We need to change the tire." She called to them. Everyone gave a heavy sigh and got out of the car.
"Inu-Yasha, you change the tire." Kagome commanded.
"Why do I have to do everything?!" demanded Inu-Yasha.
"You haven't done anything!" Kagome yelled.
"But you've been commanding me to! I just so happen to get out of it every single time." Inu-Yasha said, crossing his arms.
"Well, you're the able male of this group so you have to take charge and care for us frail women." Kagome said.
"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha, turning around.
"Kagome, it's all right, we can do it if we work together!" said Kagome's mother foolishly as she pulled a jack out of the trunk. She jacked up the car, Kagome took the old tire off and then Sango put the new tire on! GIRL POWA!! Then the three of them jumped up and punched the air while cheering obnoxiously and then all four of them got back in the car. Kagome's mother attempted to start the car only to realize that it wouldn't start and then looked at the gas-o-meter to see that they had ABSOLUTELY NO GAS IN THEIR TANK WHATSOEVER!!! AWWWWWW!!
"Well that's strange." Said Kagome's mother. "I thought I had more gas than that."
"Can we go home yet?" whined Miroku from the backseat.
"It's not like we're trying NOT to go home!" Kagome yelled in an annoyed tone.
"Could have fooled me." Complained Miroku.
"Besides…" said Kagome as if she had just remembered something that wasn't all that important. "I don't think you should go back to your world until you are of perfect health."
"What?" griped Miroku. "Why not?!"
"I don't want you spreading chicken pox to everyone in your world and killing everyone." Said Kagome.
"They won't die!" Miroku cried as if he had any control over the lives of other people and their health.
"I think that perhaps you should stay at my house for at least two weeks." Said Kagome.
"I don't want to!" pouted Miroku as he crossed his arms and whimpered pathetically.
"Oh Hosh-sama…" said Sango as if she were embarrassed for him.
"Maybe you should too Inu-Yasha." Said Kagome as she turned to Inu-Yasha. "Since you appear to be infected…HEY!! The spots are gone!"
"Feh." Scoffed Inu-Yasha. "Puny human disease."
"Let me get this straight…" said Kagome. "You contracted the chicken pox, suffered no major symptoms and got rid of them in less than a day?"
"I guess so." Said Inu-Yasha.
"But remember, he's the guy who can get stabbed through the stomach and be all right in two days." Said Sango. "So this isn't THAT far fetched."
"I guess that seems about right." Said Kagome with a sigh.
"So I don't have to stay in you're world?" asked Inu-Yasha.
"I guess not." Said Kagome.
"We still don't have any gas." Said Kagome's mother since she felt left out of this conversation.
"There was a gas station a little while back." Said Kagome since she remembered for reasons that we're not going to tell you about.
"Okay, you crazy tykes, I'll go get the gas while you guys push the car out of the middle of the road!" said Kagome's mother as she grabbed the gas can and then frolicked off before anyone could react. It was then that they realized that they were, in fact, in the middle of the road and that there so very many cars hollering and honking their horns.
Well…the CARS weren't hollering or honking their horns…the people inside the cars were hollering and honking the horns of the car. BUT IT'S NOT LIKE YOU DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW THAT!! HEHEHEHEHEHE!!!
"Inu-Yasha…" Kagome was about to demand.
"No." said Inu-Yasha immediately. "I refuse to move the car."
"Any REASON?!" Kagome screamed.
"STOP SCREAMING!!!" Miroku yelled.
"Oh…sorry." Said Kagome.
"Yes, there IS a reason." Inu-Yasha replied. "It's always 'Inu-Yasha, do this!' or 'Inu-Yasha, SAVE me!' or 'Inu-Yasha…SIT!!' but it's never 'Thank you, Inu-Yasha!' or 'Why don't you relax for a little while, Inu-Yasha?' No. It's demands, demands, demands and you know what?! I'm won't stand for it anymore!"
"Why?" asked Sango.
"Because!" Inu-Yasha scoffed.
Kagome looked angry. "Inu-Yasha…SIT!!!" And she made him sit. But he didn't actually sit, he only slammed to the bottom of the car in a heap. But you should know that.
"See what I mean?!" Inu-Yasha yelled as he pushed his face out of the Inu-Yasha indentation in the floor.
"Well Sango, my mother and I had to change the tire while you just sat there the whole time!" Kagome pointed out.
"Wow." Said Inu-Yasha. "So you do one mildly strenuous activity in your life. You're right Kagome, how could I have been so insensitive?"
"Fine!" Kagome yelled. "DON'T move the car! But I'm not doing it either!"
"THEN I WON'T!!" Inu-Yasha yelled.
"FINE!!"
"FINE!!"
"SHUT UP!!" Miroku yelled.
"Well, I can't do it by myself." Said Sango.
"You shouldn't have to do it at all!" said Kagome. "We changed the tire, it's someone ELSE'S turn to push the car."
Meanwhile, yes, the cars were still honking their horns and the owners of the cars were still yelling, throwing temper tantrums and waving their arms high in the air.
"How far away was the gas station?" asked Sango. "Maybe when your mom gets back, she and I can push it."
"No!" Kagome yelled. "We changed the tire!"
"I don't care about doing extra work." Said Sango. "It's no big deal to me."
"Besides, it might take a long time and these impatient people behind us won't be able to stand waiting the whole time."
"Well they can just wait all day for all I care." Said Inu-Yasha.
"Me too!" said Kagome as she crossed her arms and her and Inu-Yasha scoffed at each other and said 'HA-RUMPH!!'
Sango frowned and decided that she could try with all her might to push it by herself so she got out of the car. As soon as she did, she noticed that a bunch of other people who were in the cars behind them had gotten out to see what was going on.
"We were in the cars behind you and we have gotten out to see what was going on!" they all said at the very same time.
"Well, we ran out of gas and we really want to push the car but one of my friends refuses because she changed a tire earlier, one is getting gas, one is deathly ill and the other one is just refusing because he's a jerk so I'm really the only one." Sango explained.
"WE'LL HELP!!!" said the men. If this were Sango's point of view, she'd probably say that these men were probably being perverted but they weren't because they were all married and had children and wanted to go home to see their wife and children since they missed them. So all the buff men with jack shirts and German accents easily pushed the car off to the side of the road and then went back to the cars and drove off into the sunset. Isn't it great how they transformed from just a bunch of people to a bunch of German buff men? YAY!!
"Sango, you didn't have to do that!" said Kagome. Then she turned to Inu-Yasha angrily. "See?! Now SANGO had to do it!"
"She didn't do anything!" Inu-Yasha yelled. "She just asked those guys to move the car!"
"And she wouldn't have had to do even that if you had just done it in the first place!" Kagome yelled.
"How does that make any sense?!" demanded Inu-Yasha. "This way, no one had to do any work!"
"SIT!!" Kagome yelled out of nowhere. Inu-Yasha let out that noise he makes when he slams on the ground that sounds remarkably like some insane DUCK hitting the ground. He let out this noise only AFTER he actually hit the ground but you already knew that and if you didn't, then you have to either change your entire way of thinking or look in to thinking all together!
So the setting was very silent for a little while. Kagome and Sango stood over Inu-Yasha who was implanted in the ground and Miroku just kind of…did what he's been doing for this entire chapter. NOTHING!!!
Then, they all SWITCHED what they were doing for fun!! So that SANGO was implanted in the ground, Kagome was lying there doing nothing and Miroku and Inu-Yasha stood over Sango.
After a minute of doing that, they decided that it was a pretty stupid idea in the first place and all of them demanded to know who's idea it was while denying that it was theirs the whole time! But that exact moment, Kagome's mother came skipping over the hill with her little gas pail thing completely filled up! Everybody cheered, filled up the gas tank and started driving! No sooner had they started and gone around the corner did they see a gas station sitting right there…WITH FREE GAS!! So everyone slapped their foreheads and said 'DOH!!'
But Hakunamatata!! (Um…I don't know how to spell that.)
They kept driving for a while on the back roads until they suddenly came back to the highway and started driving THERE.
"What exit are we getting off at?" Kagome asked as she watched a sign pass overhead that said 'Exit 4'.
"Exit 26." Her mother replied. Everyone once again slapped their foreheads and said DOH but they couldn't say Hakunamatata since it wasn't really in the past quite yet because they still had to suffer and deal through the very long and perilous ride back to the home of Kagome.
Without warning, a police officer suddenly started driving next to them on his little motorcycle with his siren on while gesturing for them to pull over. But Kagome's mother pretended as though the police officer wasn't even there!
"Pull over, mom!" yelled Kagome. "I don't want to get in trouble!"
"I'm ABOVE the law!" Kagome's mother declared as she put the pedal to the metal and drove so fast that she lost track of the policeman entirely. He didn't care since he didn't really have a reason to chase them in the first place since it was only a policeman dare from his fellow policemen. Kagome looked at her mother who didn't looked fazed or crazed or…MAZED.
"Maybe I should drive." Said Kagome. "I'm a really fast driver! I can put us into warp speed and get us home RIGHT NOW!"
"Don't be silly Kagome!" laughed her mother. "You're not old enough to drive!"
"Well, she was old enough to be a counselor at a camp where the oldest campers there were older than her," pointed out Sango. Kagome turned to her and said SHHHH!! So Sango shut up.
"I NEED a drink!" demanded Miroku impatiently as if he had been asking for one for the past hour and everyone had been ignoring him. (Which might have been actually happening but who knows!)
"Can't you wait until we get home?" Kagome asked.
"Yes, he can! Keep driving!" said Inu-Yasha.
"Well Kagome," said Kagome's mom. "We can't have your friend getting all dehydrated now can we?"
"He can wait!" whined Kagome.
"No I can't, Lady Kagome." Said Miroku. "Fetch me some water."
"I don't wanna!!" Kagome wailed as Kagome's mom pulled into a gas station that was quite conveniently sitting right on the side of the highway. So Kagome got out of the car and went into the gas station armed with the three dollars that her mother had given her to purchase the water.
"Hosh-sama, do you feel any better?" Sango asked Miroku.
"No, in fact I feel WORSE!" Miroku replied, sounding very depressed.
"Just goes to show how WEAK you are!" Inu-Yasha said. "If you were strong like me then you would be over those stupid chicken pox already!"
"Leave me alone." Miroku said as he turned around in the seat so that he wasn't facing them and started whining and complaining under his breath. By this time, everyone had heard his groaning and moaning enough so they just tuned him out and put on EVERYONE'S favorite song; 'Oops! I Did It Again!' Quoth Sir Seimu.
So Kagome returned a few minutes later with a two-liter bottle of Surge and climbed into the car.
"SURGE!!!" she yelled as she opened the bottle, poured some into a cup, which she had also bought and handed the cup to Miroku.
"Since when is water bubbly and fluorescent yellow?" asked Miroku.
"Since now!" Kagome said as she began pouring a cup for everyone in the car except for her mother because she didn't want to include her mother in the fun.
"Have you had this before, Kagome?" asked Sango.
"No, but I've heard of it and I've always wanted to have some!" Kagome said. "It's got so much caffeine in it!!"
"What's caffeine?" asked Inu-Yasha.
"It's not important!" Kagome said with a smile as she handed Inu-Yasha a cup.
"Well I don't want to have any if it's poison!" Inu-Yasha said as he crossed his arms and refused the stupid Styrofoam cup.
"It's not poisonous," said Kagome.
"How do you know?" asked Inu-Yasha. "You've never had any."
"I know people who have had it before who didn't die." Said Kagome. Then Kagome turned to Sango. "Why don't you try it, Sango?"
"I want you to first." Said Sango hesitantly.
"It's not like it's going to kill you!" Kagome said. "I just hadn't poured myself any yet!"
"Sure, that's what they ALL say!" said Inu-Yasha.
"They all say that?" asked Kagome.
"Yes." Said Inu-Yasha. "Now drink it or I will smite you!"
"YOU drink it or I will SIT you!" Kagome threatened.
"Not if I smite you first!"
"I'll SIT you before you can even get near me!"
"Then I'll smite someone else who can't say sit to me!" yelled Inu-Yasha.
"It's not worth killing someone over." Said Sango to Inu-Yasha with a sigh. "If it will stop you two from yelling at each other, I'LL try it first!"
"No Sango!" Kagome yelled. "I can't make you do that! You had to deal with the car situation!"
"It's no big deal if I get a silent ride." Said Sango.
"No!" said Kagome. "We'll get someone else to do it! I can't do it, of course! Inu-Yasha refuses to cause he's a jerk. You can't do it and my mom's a MOM so she can't do it so the only person that leaves is Miroku!"
"YAY!!" cheered Kagome's mom because someone needed to say it! After all, there's no Shippo to randomly fill the gaps in the conversation with mindless and pointless cheering. Sniff. I miss Shippo. It's almost as if he…DIED and went to heaven but it's not like he would have been included even if he WERE here so it doesn't really matter all that much.
BUT ANYWAY!!!
"I'm not thirsty." Said Miroku.
"BUT WE PULLED OVER BECAUSE YOU WERE THIRSTY!" screamed Kagome so loudly that the radio stopped working and everyone got really sad because Oops I Did It Again was just about to get to the best part. Kagome apologized and glued the radio back together and unsurprisingly enough, IT STILL DIDN'T WORK!! It was mainly because the radio had just stopped working so it's not like it fell apart so it didn't really need to be glued together. So she just got glue into the car system and then the car all together stopped working so they all sat there in the parking lot of the gas station like fools.
"So…who's gonna drink first?" Inu-Yasha said randomly.
"OH NO!!!" screeched Kagome's mother.
"I'll go get a gas station attendant!" Kagome declared since the gas station attendant man who was inside was REALLY hot and sexy and she wanted to talk to him again. She ran all the way back inside and found the gas station man who wasn't really all THAT hot and sexy, he was just an older guy and Kagome is a teenage girl and can't control her feelings! But that's kind of out of character so it would be cool if you entirely disregarded this paragraph.
The people in the car continued to BE in the car and drum their fingers mindlessly until Miroku yelled at them to stop or he would lose his temper and suck them into the void within him where they would surely float around in him for all eternity.
They decided not to bother him since he was sick after all and they were still catering to his every need. Not to mention the fact that nobody wanted to float around in Miroku for all eternity. At that exact moment, Kagome returned with the gas station attendant, which was actually just an extremely manly woman so Kagome didn't really have any reason to get turned on but she didn't really because we're pretending as though that paragraph wasn't even there so just pretend as though this sentence isn't even here too!!! YAY!!!
"What seems to be the problem?" asked the manly gas station attendant woman in her incredibly deep voice as she started working on the car right then and there without even waiting for Kagome and co. to tell her what was wrong with it! AWK!
"Um…nothing's wrong with the hood…" Kagome's mother started since the manly gas station attendant woman was working on the hood of the car.
But all of a sudden, the manly gas station attendant woman slammed the hood down and patted it a few times. "She should be ready to go." Said the manly gas station attendant woman in her manly voice. Kagome's mother paused for a minute and then turned the key and miraculously enough for this chapter the car started! Everyone gasped dramatically and started cheering.
"How much do I owe you?" asked Kagome's mother.
"No charge!" said the manly gas station attendant woman for no reason whatsoever as she walked away. Kagome's mother wasn't ABOUT to argue with a free tune up so she hopped back in the car and sped off into the sunset even though the sun wasn't REALLY setting. She only sped off.
"No more stops!" Kagome's mother declared. "This time we're undoubtedly getting home!!" She then drove for a little while. Yes, even though she declared that they wouldn't be stopping again, they did because Kagome simply had to go to the bathroom SO badly that if they didn't stop somewhere then she would explode so they stopped…somewhere…and Kagome ran inside to reliever herself!
They waited ever so patiently for her to return and she did and gave a sigh as she climbed back in, making a comment on how she felt SO much better.
Kagome's mother got back on the highway and continued driving for a few more minutes until they stumbled across Exit 25 which was good news to all the people in the car because this meant that the next exit was Exit 26!! AND YOU ALL KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!! THAT'S RIGHT!! THE STORY IS ALMOST OVER!!!
So to celebrate, everyone started listening to the Italian Digimon theme and Kagome's mom got SO distracted that she accidentally drove RIGHT BY EXIT 26!! OH NO!!!
"I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!!!" wailed Miroku pathetically.
"WE ALL DO!!!" Inu-Yasha yelled at him.
"It's no big deal!" Kagome's mom assured them. "We'll just take the next exit and turn around. It's not that far off." They continued driving until the car suddenly started making put put put sounds so Kagome's mother intelligently pulled over to the side of the road just in time for the car to stop.
"As if anything else could go wrong." Said Kagome's mother as she whipped out her cell phone to call a tow truck. But then she realized that she had forgotten to charge the phone before she left so it was utterly and completely dead as we speak right now!! So she got out of her car and starting waving for someone to stop and let them borrow their cell phone or help them fix the car. A person pulled over and will be known as The Little Mermaid so we don't have to call him 'A Person'.
"What's the trouble?" asked The Little Mermaid.
"We don't know." Kagome's mother answered. "We JUST got the car tuned up a little while ago, too."
"You can use my phone." Said The Little Mermaid as he handed Kagome's mother a cell phone. Kagome's mother called a tow truck. YAY!!
"Let's listen to the radio to pass the time!" Kagome suggested as she put on Alice's Restaurant.
"I'm getting sick of all these stupid songs!" Inu-Yasha yelled as he Sankon Tetsuoed the radio. Of course, to save us all the grief of them not having a car or anything, the car remained unscathed except for the three claw marks going through the place where the radio used to be.
"So now we have to listen to an utterly SILENT trip home?" asked Sango as if that were almost too good to be true.
"We could sing the songs instead of listening to them." Suggested Kagome.
"You're probably the only one that knows the songs, Kagome." Inu-Yasha reminded her.
Suddenly Kagome's mother walked over with some guy in overalls covered in oil stains. She told everyone to get out of the car because it needed to be towed to the station where it could be fixed and also be given a new radio because Kagome pointed out the fact that they were radioless.
So everyone got out of the car and the guy in overalls began hooking the car up to his tow truck.
"Can't he just work on it here?" asked Miroku.
"All of his tools and stuff are at his shop." Said Kagome's mother.
"But if he takes our car away, what are we going to use to get home?" asked Inu-Yasha.
"He'll give it back when he fixes it." Said Kagome's mother with a laugh.
"What will we do in the meantime?" asked Sango.
"Why, we'll wait around in his shop of course!" chuckled Kagome's mom.
"Do we have to walk to his shop?" asked Inu-Yasha as he watched the tow truck guy hop into his truck and drive away. (Even though this will probably never happen, the people of this particular area are very inconsiderate. I can't tell you where they are, however because you might take it seriously and get offended like those crazy people from Nevada who refuse to believe that one hundred and forty five dollar bills exist.) (Which they don't. That is ENTIRELY our mistake.)
"I GUESS SO!!!" said Kagome's mom.
"If we're going to be walking to his shop, why not just walk home instead?" suggested no one really.
"Don't be silly!" laughed Kagome's mom. "How will I get my car back if we don't go to his shop?"
"Go to his shop LATER." Said Miroku.
"NO!!!!" screamed Kagome's mom. They all feared the wrath of Kagome's mom so they decided not to argue any more. Come on, how ELSE are we going to prolong this ending?
So they trudged along the highway and after about five seconds, Miroku declared that he could not go on so Inu-Yasha ended up having to piggy back him since, after all, Inu-Yasha IS the strongest AND he's already had the chicken pox so it made sense much to Inu-Yasha's disliking!
After a little while, they reached Tow Truck Man Bob's Tow Truck Place-A-Ma-Jig-Thingy. They went into the garage area and the man with overalls and oil stains told them that he had entirely forgotten that they weren't in the car and that he was SO sorry that he just wasn't going to make them pay ANY money to make it up to them. But then he said that the car wouldn't be fixed for a little while so everyone went in the diner that was right next to the garage place since there always is one there.
Now, this diner must have been stuck in some sort of time warp because when they walked in, everything was all fifties style and there was a jukebox and the people in the place were wearing poodle dresses and leather jackets and looked like Richie Cunningham and as for the waiters, they had those AWESOME hats and little striped shirts and there were people dancing on the dancing floor to some kind of prodigious fifties song.
"This is kind of weird." Said Kagome since she was really the only one who cared. After all, to all our people in the past, for all they knew, this could have been normal!! And Kagome's mother…well…she had horseshoe eyes right now so she didn't even know.
They sat down at a booth and waited for a minute before the waiter walked over with a nametag on that said 'Skip' and he looked like Richie Cunningham. Yes, he DID have an awesome hat on. "You guys want anything?" he asked as he held up his little notepad.
"No, that's okay." Said Kagome's mother. "We actually just ate."
"Okay." Said Skip as he…SKIPPED off!! HAW HAW HAW!!
"Why are we in here?" demanded Miroku.
"Because we're waiting for our car to be fixed." Said Kagome's mom.
"How long does it take to get a car fixed?"
"As soon as it's done, we'll go home."
"You know, I might as well just walk home." Said Inu-Yasha as he looked out the window wistfully.
"Do you know the way?" asked Sango.
"No, but I could find my way." Said Inu-Yasha.
"I'm going to go and check up on the car." Said Kagome's mom as she stood up. "I'll leave you guys…ALONE…"
Then she walked off with a sinister grin.
"What is that supposed to mean?" asked Inu-Yasha.
"I hate it when people do this!" Sango complained. "And without fail, it is done to me!"
Suddenly, another waiter who looked like Richie Cunningham and had a nametag called 'Bud' walked over. "You guys want anything?" he asked.
"Someone already asked us that and we already said no." said Inu-Yasha.
"Actually…I want a chocolate malt!" said Kagome as she put down a menu that she had gotten when no one was looking.
"Four chocolate malts, coming right up!" said Bud all to excitedly. He only lived to serve. And he was so excited in running off to tell the cook to make four chocolate malts that nobody had any time to tell them that Kagome was the only one who wanted a chocolate malt and they would prefer it if he got rid of their order but they were TOO LATE!!!
Then, a very awesome song called The Duke of Earl started playing and Kagome gasped so loudly that the whole world fell apart and then came back together because we can't have the world in PIECES now can we?
"I LOVE THIS SONG!!!" screamed Kagome as the same thing happened again.
"What's so great about it?" asked no one in particular.
"Who DOESN'T love it?!" Kagome yelled as she started swaying back and forth and didn't awake from her trance until she realized that the song was over! And then she wailed and cried and then remembered that she had a quarter in her pocket so she ran over to the jukebox and put the quarter in.
Is this dragging on for too long? Yeah, we agree too but we're having too much fun thinking of more ways to keep it going forever!! Like…Pokemon…or Dragon Ball Z…or the Song That Never Ends.
We promise that after they get their car fixed, they will make it home, UNINTERUPPTED! Their car will not break down, they will not stop and they will certainly not Digivolve to Ikkakumon!
So anyway…back to the story…
Bud came over a few moments later with four chocolate malts that were made only from the best quality chocolate malt powder and mixed in with only 2% milk that was DAYS from it's expiration date! It was mixed with love and a clean, fresh straw that was long enough to not sink down into the glass.
"YAY!!!" cheered everyone as they drank their malts except for Miroku since he was ill but he WANTED to drink his, you can be sure of that. But then they all got really really bad brain freeze so Miroku chuckled cruelly at their expense because they had drunk the very perfect chocolate malts right in front of him without even saying anything to comfort him. AFTER ALL, HE HAS THE CHICKEN POX!!!!!
Then Kagome's mom came out of nowhere and told them that the car was done so they all got back in and left without paying for the malts. They also stole the awesome little hats from the waiters since the waiters of the fifties were wimpy and pushovers so they had no trouble beating the hats out of them. So then they took Exit 27, drove all the way back to Kagome's house and went inside to relax.
"Who had fun at camp?!" Kagome said excitedly. No one said anything for a few minutes.
"I DID until I was contaminated!" Miroku declared.
"Can we go home now?" asked Sango.
"OH RIGHT!!!" laughed Kagome. "GO AHEAD!!!"
"YAY!!" cheered everyone as they jumped into the well but Kagome's grabbed Miroku and pulled him back out at the very last second.
"You're not supposed to go back yet!!" she scolded him. And then they all chuckled warmly as a black circle engulfed them.
THE END!!!
Not really.
Here's a few things that were left unexplained:
"Hey!!!" screamed Shippo. "WHERE HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN ANYWAY?!"
"We were at camp." Said Sango.
"I CAN ONLY PLAY WITH MY NON-EXSISTANT FRIEND FOR SO LONG!!! YOU GUYS WERE GONE A WEEK!!!" then Shippo threw a temper tantrum that shook the whole world and knocked the earth's axis off center. Yes, THAT'S why the axis is tilted.
"We just forgot about you that's all!" explained Sango because Inu-Yasha doesn't really care if Shippo's feelings are hurt.
"How could you forget about me?!" Shippo wailed. "I'm SHIPPO!!"
"That's how we forgot about you…" said Inu-Yasha. "Because you're Shippo."
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" cried Shippo as he ran off to get comforted by Kaede because they had an awfully long bonding period while no one else was there and even though there is a huge age gap between them, they were able to see past that and become best of friends.
But not really. That's why Shippo was so bored without Kagome to frolic with, Inu-Yasha to tease him, Miroku to perch atop and Sango…well…Sango to just be there.
"So where's Miroku?" asked Shippo as if all was forgotten. "After all, I need my perching shoulder."
"He died." Said Inu-Yasha. He felt is was only fair because people had told HIM that Miroku was dead so why shouldn't he be able to tell SHIPPO?!
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!" wailed Shippo as he ran off for real this time before anyone could tell him that they were only joking.
"OH WELL!!!" said Inu-Yasha and Sango as they chuckled warmly and a black circle engulfed them.
All of a sudden, Jukebox came out of nowhere. "Um…excuse me." He said as he made some sort of baskety hand motion. "Was there any point of me being in this story? I only showed up for a page or two and then left entirely. Couldn't Mr. Shawn have just been the guy who greeted them and then you wouldn't have had to introduce another character?"
But then Jukebox exploded because we hate him.
Last but not least, Sessho-Maru walked out onto the black screen. He paused, looked around and then at you, the reader. "Sessho." He said. AND THEN A BLACK CIRCLE ENGULFED HIM!!!
HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW!!!
And that's it. If there's anything that has been left unexplained, just assume it all ended well!! YAY!!!