All I Wanted
Chapter 2: Sydney
DISCLAIMER: They Don't belong to me, I don't claim that they do, don't sue. Thank you, and please review!
I feel betrayed. Hurt. Angry. Confused. Sad. Shocked. Lost.
I feel used. I feel abandoned. I feel stupid.
Why didn't I see it coming? Dad did. He saw it from a mile away. I should have listened to him. I know he was right. I know it now, and I think I knew it then. But I wouldn't let myself accept that. I couldn't. At first, it wasn't a problem. Kendall had to threaten Vaughn before I'd even think of going in there. I wasn't about to trust that woman. She shot me. How could I? But somehow, somewhere along the line, visiting her went from being a chore to being one of the rare bright spots of my work. I actually started looking forward to those visits. All I had ever wanted was a mother, and I suddenly had one. Of course it wasn't quite the conventional mother-daughter relationship, but that's no surprise.
I felt something. When she was telling me the story behind her earrings, I felt for her. I didn't want to. But she got to me. I actually had this little scene all played out in my head… it's so stupid now. Vaughn and I were going to return- Bible in hand- and prove to my father and any other doubters that my mom was here to help, to prove herself, nothing more. I would walk down that long hall to thank her again. She would ask if I was ok, and I'd have to convince her I was. And then she'd share another story with me. Maybe one about her father- my grandfather? Some sibling of hers I never knew about? A forgotten memory from my childhood? Whatever the subject, it would strike a chord deep inside of me, and I'd be able to feel the bond growing stronger, becoming almost a tangible thing. And then I'd be sent on some other mission pertaining to The Bible, and she'd give me some extra intel to make it go faster and keep me safe. And maybe someday, she would be free. We would be able to really become a mother and daughter. Maybe we'd even be sent on some missions together, and I could see for myself how she had come to be called 'The Man.'
I was so stupid.
I still am. I'm sitting here, knowing what she tried to do to me, to Vaughn. And yet, I'm still wishing that stupid little fantasy will one day come true.
This didn't really come out how I had intended. But I think I like it anyway. I'm saving Irina for last because she is my absolute fave. Also, fics from her PoV always seem to come easier, so her's is ending up a lot longer than any of the others. So, up next: Vaughn!