Disclaimer: Believe it or not, Stargate: SG1 does not belong to me.

A/N: Not this time, kiddies.

Till the end of the time

Chapter 4

Colonel Jack O'Neill POV

I know why Janet did that. And I know why General did the same too. They believe that having me here with her will somehow make it easier for me to say goodbye when the time comes. It won't. I won't let that time comes.

I don't want to lose her. I can't lose her.

I did this to her. God, I am such a jackass... I haven't even thought about whether she will take it seriously, I guess I assumed she won't. But after I said it, I knew at once that she did take it seriously and that I have hurt her. Look in her eyes... She looked at me with so much pain, but didn't say anything. She just turned around and walked away... I have betrayed her. Whatever happened on that damned mission should have stayed dead and buried. But no, I had to bring it up, and somehow, made it sound wrong. Just wrong.

Congratulations Jack, you have just proven yourself to be first class idiot.

I should have known. I should have gone after her and said that I was sorry. But I didn't. I left it be, left it laying around as usual. Left it to be cleared up when she shows up for another mission. She never did.

And when I went to fetch her by the orders of Hammond, I found her... Dying.

God, what did I do?

She wound have stayed safe in the base, working on some 'God knows what' project, staying up late, and then in the morning, I would have to endure all that talk between her and Daniel about what they had just discovered... if I haven't been the jerk I was. I would feel left out, yes, left out, but happy. Incredibly happy listening to all their babble, making jokes and teasing them both. Teal'c would show up later, he always does, but he is never late, not Teal'c, and I would have to explain ever third word, leaving it, at the end, to Danny boy to finish my not-so-successful attempt to explain Jaffa the habits of Tau'ri. Not this time.

Not this time.

She headed for home, leaving all of her work unfinished, giving some pathetic excuse to Daniel, that she had guests coming by. What a lie. I think Danny figured that much, but assumed she simply didn't want to admit she was tired, especially after everything that happened on the last mission. So he let it be. Just like me.

Damn mission, damn Daniel.

Damn me.

She lies so peaceful, looking like she is only sleeping... But I know that is not the case. She lies there because of me. She is dying because of me.

I can't lose her. I can't lose you Sam.

I can't.

I can't.

Colonel Jack O'Neill snapped out of his 'face down on the edge of Sam's bed', nightmares haunted sleep and with unfocused gaze searched for the familiar face on the pillow. He found none.

Major Samantha Carter, his teammate and close friend was gone. All the tubes, wires and IVs onto which she was hooked up were hanging around... Blanket was missing too. With inhuman efforts, he tried to focus on what is going on, and rationalize.

Not this time.

It took him a while to realize he was desperately gripping bed sheets, and that Janet stood at the door, with her hand over her mouth, looking absolutely horrified.

"She is gone," came out of his throat as a hoarse whisper, while he scanned the room with bewildered expression.

"Daniel..." small figure waddled across the room, briefly supporting itself on all near, firm grounded looking objects, to stay on its feet. When it finally reached young archeologist, who was sleeping on the pile of translations on his desk, in a weird half-sitting position, figure gently prodded him on the shoulder.

"Daniel, wake up..." quiet outburst of cough followed and succeeded in waking Dr. Jackson.

"What?... no, Jack, I wasn't sleeping..." Daniel seemed to be rather confused after his nap, but soon confusion disappeared, allowing ultimate disbelief to overtake its place, the moment he realized who was standing in front of him, wrapped in white hospital sheet.

"Sam!?!" startled scream seemed to scare young woman, and she stumbled few steps backwards, still holding the sheet tightly around her.

Her face was pale, and lips had a blue tinge to them. She kept looking behind, as if expecting for someone to barge in, as she whispered, "Quiet, Daniel. Please. I'll explain..." another short outburst of cough; and Daniel, recovering from the original shock, helped her sit down.

"Sam, how... listen... I'll go get Janet and Jack... you stay here..." he talked so fast, even Sam had troubles understanding what he said, but when she caught up, her face suddenly changed color into even more paler nuance, and she screamed, "No, Danny, please! Not Jack!"

After seeing his bewildered expression, she took a deep breath and unconsciously placing her hand on the bandages around her stomach, continued in a quiet, but shaky voice, "He did this to me."

It was Daniel's turn to gasp. Small red stain seemed to make good efforts spreading behind Sam's fingers.

In the same moment, Sam's eyes fell on his lips. She had to pull all the strength she had left in order not to scream. There was a small cut.

A/N: I am evil... I know. Another cliffhanger. God, I love cliffhangers. They make the story so much more interesting, right? :) Anyways. All I wanted to say was to review, but you know that already, right? *wink, wink*