You'd Never Believe Me!
By Skye Rocket
Disclaimer: Guess what? I own nothing from Lord of the Rings, okay? I own my OC, but that's about all. Peace.
A/N: Okay. I've seen that everyone and their Grandmammy has written a "OC goes to Middle Earth" fic. But I haven't read any where "OC ends up with LoTR canon characters in her humble abode," although that doesn't mean that there aren't any. So I decided to write one. Thanks, and I hope you enjoy.
*-*-*-*
Okay, listen up here. My name is Rachel. I reside in America. I'm in the eighth grade. I don't have any visible scars, nose rings or what not, tattoos, third eyes, et cetera.
Well, anywho, a while ago, something happened to me that was incredibly weird and highly disturbing to my mental state.
I know that you won't believe me, and I guess I can accept that (or maybe I lied, okay?!). But you have GOT to know what happened!
*-*-*-*
Listen; as I've said before, I'm an eighth grader at a school in some junior high in America (the name won't be given to protect the guilty!). I've got a sarcastic sense of humor, and am kind of cynical sometimes. I'm not popular and I don't not have any friends either. I'm tall, and I've got this bushy brown hair and blue eyes. Genetics suck.
I'm not rich. I don't shop at Abercrombie and Fitch or anything like that. In fact, I've never even been in one. I'm a rebel, for crying out loud! Haha, yeah. That'll be the day. I shop at thrift stores and other stuff like that.
I've got a bad sense of judgment when it comes to my common sense sometimes. I'm clumsy and I often break/mess things up. I'm kind of lazy sometimes, and I procrastinate often. I don't like homework, and if it were up to me, school would be entirely optional.
I don't like stress, as I don't handle it well. And I definitely hate deadlines, since I am disorganized and messy. I've never had a boyfriend, and I don't plan on it. Thanks for making me bring THAT up.
Now, I'm going to move right along, okay? I bet you're dying to hear what actually did happen to me. No? Well, will you please pretend? Thanks.
*-*-*-*
I was sleeping. Now, normally, this wouldn't be much of a problem. But I hadn't been getting to sleep much, after school had started and I'd had trouble getting back into sleeping.
It was six thirty in the morning. I was supposed to be up in thirteen minutes. I usually set my alarm clock for odd times just because I can. I'm a weird little person, I bet you're thinking, right? Well, I suppose you're right. Hee hee.
Anyway, I was fully prepared for Less Than Jake to come blaring from my clock radio early in the morning. It was the best thing about being woken up at such an obscene our of the morning. My dog Licorice was curled up in bed with me, and my parakeet Aberdeen was scuttling around in his cage.
My little brother Jeff was asleep in his room with Erika, our other dog, and PJ the parakeet and Toadley the toad were being quiet and asleep.
Mom and Dad were in their room. Dad was probably in the shower getting ready for work. Mom was playing on the laptop because she didn't have to go to work until noon, and our third and final dog Snickerdoodle was curled up under the covers in their room.
Yes, sir. Things were perfect. My favorite CD was going to be playing soon. My dog was asleep and keeping my leg warm. Life was good.
But all of a sudden, there was a large crash, and suddenly several VERY heavy bodies hit my bed. Licorice yelped and scurried over onto my pillow. I snarled and sat up as fast as I possibly could, and clutched my doggy for dear life. My eyes were bugging out, and my teeth were gritted.
I bet I looked like a freakin' idiot.
There were several dudes on floor and draped on my bed. I screamed like a banshee, and Licky sat, petrified, in my arms. The two of us stared vacantly. Suddenly, a guy with black hair began to stir.
Suddenly, my alarm switched on and the familiar beginning of 'Automatic' began to play. I must have jumped about a foot in the air, because I tumbled off of my bed, Licorice on top of me and my music blasting loudly. It's not like it would wake me up if it was quiet; I sleep like a log.
A short little guy with curly, dark hair was the first one to sit up and rub his head. He wasn't wearing anything like the guys who attended my school might wear or anything like that, but hey, what can you do? They obviously weren't from around here.
"What in the-?" I said groggily, not even realizing I had started to talk, at first. "Who are you, punk?" I screeched shrilly, holding up one of my new shoes threateningly. Okay, Rachel, these guys had swords and bows and arrows and what not. What was a shoe going to do for my self defense?!
Suddenly, I was very afraid.
"Wait, wait! I mean you no harm, miss!" the guy said. "My name is Frodo Baggins! I'm a hobbit. I'm from the Shire! And we're on a quest to cast the one ring back into the fires of Mount Doom!"
"What! Are you high?" I shouted, making Licorice squirm. It was very loud in the room, and with every movement of the people on my bed, it creaked, and I was afraid it would break under their weight.
"High?" a second 'hobbit' asked. "Well, Miss, we aren't tall, you might say, so I suppose we aren't 'high,' if that's what you mean."
"Sam, I don't think that's what she meant," the guy with the black hair who had first stirred said observantly.
"Whatever, Aragorn. Don't be such a know it all!" another dude said, one with long-ish brown hair.
"Shut up, Boromir!" Now, I usually wouldn't think that men like these would talk like this, but I suppose that was the jist of things.
"Both of you shut up!" I screamed loudly, beating my fists on the ground, making a loud rumbling. "Lord of the Rings has come to our house, Licky!" I said to the black dachshund I still help.
"Lord of the what?" an Elf-ish person that had to be Legolas said.
"Lord of the Rings. There's books about you. Jeff has read them a billion times. I myself have seen the movie. I've got it on DVD."
"DVD?" Boromir repeated.
"Sounds like some sort of devilry!" Gimli barked.
"No, no, no!" I said. "And listen, I don't exactly have time for this! I'm kind of needing to get ready for school!"
There was a shocked pause.
"SCHOOL?" Merry exclaimed loudly.
"I want to go!" Pippin agreed.
"No, I do!" Frodo and Boromir said at once. What was the matter with these people?! Getting transferred from Middle Earth to Mid-America must have not agreed with them.
"I have heard of this 'school' place," Gandalf began dramatically. "And it is a foul, horrible place. Frightening, this place is." I snorted as I flung a pair of jeans on top of my desk and began looking for my shirt for today.
"Oh come on, Gandalf. It isn't *that* bad!" I assured them.
"Well, if Gandalf says it's not good, I will be of no part of it!" Gimli insisted, stubbornly folding his arms.
"Fine! You guys can stay here and the rest of us will go to school!" I said, exasperated, but having finally found my t-shirt. "After I get ready, I will get you guys clothes out of the laundry room!"
A resounding cheer filled the room.
*-*-*-*
"Uh, Rachel, what are you eating?" Pippin asked, glancing at the bowl of cereal.
"Lucky Charms," I said through a mouthful of hearts, stars, horseshoes, clovers and blue moons. Not to mention pots of gold and rainbows. And of course, the red balloons. "Go ahead, fix yourselves some," I urged, knowing the hobbits would need food, or so I supposed.
I just hoped I wouldn't have to deal with second breakfast.
*-*-*-*
"And who are these people?" my best friend Casey asked as I arrived at the bus stop of DOOM with Boromir, Aragorn, Legolas, Merry, Pippin, Sam and Frodo in tow. "They don't seem to be any of our fellow eight graders," she mused.
"Casey, you'd think I'm crazy," I said with a sigh.
"What? Who? Me?" she asked, putting on an expression of mock shock (hey, that rhymes!), hands on her cheeks. "Come on, tell me! Tell me!" she begged in an annoying chant-like way. I glanced at the Fellowship, who were staring on expectantly, eager grins on their faces. I rolled my eyes.
"Fine!" I said, leaning in to whisper to her, because that pesky guy who lived right next door to the bus stop, who probably thought that we were drunk half the time. Just because we screamed 'Bunny!' whenever we saw a rabbit and waving at cars and other fun stuff.
When I finished, she looked at me weird, not saying anything.
"Rachel. You really are crazy! Just like everyone says!" Casey yelled, edging away.
"No! Seriously!"
"Fine! Can you prove it?!" she squealed hysterically.
"Frodo, can you please show her the ring?" I begged, very embarrassed.
"I beg your pardon?" Frodo asked, hand flying to his neck. He must have been afraid I'd steal the ring. Yeah, right, sure, whatever Frodo. I've seen just how much trouble that little ring had caused.
"Well, puh-lease, will you just show her the ring?"
"Yes, 'Mr. Frodo,' if that's indeed your real name," Casey said with a bemused look on her face. "Do indeed show me the ring."
"All right," Frodo finally agreed, with a reluctant sigh. He pulled the chain up and the ring was exposed. Casey gasped and stumbled away.
"Oh my god, Rachel!" she cried. "You weren't kidding, were you?!"
"Uh, no. I wasn't," I said finally, after kicking a few rocks down the intersection. "I told you I wasn't lying; why would someone lie about this kind of thing?"
"Because they're insane!" Casey cried.
"Uh, Rachel?" Boromir asked from behind where I was trying to stop Casey's head from exploding.
"Speaking!" I responded, turning around.
"What exactly are we waiting for?" Aragorn broke in.
"Aragorn, you fool! I can speak by myself!"
"Excuse me for living!" Aragorn fired back.
"Shut up!" Casey and I shouted in unison. Birds flew off of trees at the loud noise.
"Well, Boromir, we are waiting for the bus," I explained softly.
"The bus?" Legolas questioned, as if afraid someone might hear him. I stared at him.
"Uh, yeah. It's a means of transportation," I tried to clarify.
"With lots of insane people on it!" Casey added helpfully.
"Hey, did you know that when I was eight I saw this thing on TV and this kid said 'All the weird kids ride the bus!' I believed him but my mom said 'That's not true! Just wait until you get older and ride the bus!' So I forgot about that and then when I got to ride the bus, I realized that my former suspicions were correct; and that, in fact, all the weird kids *do* ride the bus!" I informed Casey.
"Ah ha," she mused. "I guess that's right, seeing as how everyone on our delightful bus is not exactly playing with a full deck."
*-*-*-*-*
Okay, fine, I suppose I should let you know that, a ways back, I lied to you. I have never had a boyfriend, that much is true, but I will tell you that I have my eye on someone.
Pathetic? Sure. Improbable? Totally! Sad? YES.
Anyways, his name is Alex, and he's in my homeroom. Are you happy? Of course not. Now back to the story.
*-*-*-*
Well, the best we could do was to get Pippin and Aragorn in our homeroom. And by 'our' homeroom, I mean me and Casey's. Yes, that's right, my best friend is in my homeroom. Weird coincidence, right? That's what I thought!
My brain was frozen, and I had a huge headache. I rested my head on the obviously fake wood surface of my desk. I hoped not everyone was staring at me, especially Alex. Good thing he wasn't there yet.
Aragorn and Pippin sat in silence. I had assigned everyone new names. Aragorn was Andrew, Pippin was Peter, Frodo was Fred, Merry was Maxwell, Legolas was Lester, and Boromir was Blake. It was a good thing that Sam had a 'normal' sounding name, I guess, because it was sort of hard for Casey and I to think up those names.
Casey was sitting behind me, talking to Amy, who was another girl in our class, and Eric, a tall boy also in our class with bleach-blonde hair streaked red using cherry Kool-Aid. Sounded like a good idea to me.
The door creaked open, and I lifted my head quickly. It was Alex, with his blue binder under his arm. He took a seat next to me.
"Hey Alex," Casey said.
"Hey Casey, hey Rachel," he responded. "Hey, did we get new students?"
"Yes, yes we did," I replied vacantly, staring at the overhead projector.
"Uh, Peter and Andrew," Casey added, kicking me in the back of the leg. I grunted and folded my arms.
"Hey guys!" Alex said, waving to 'Peter and Alex.' They reluctantly waved back.
I sighed.
It would be a long day.
Disclaimer: Guess what? I own nothing from Lord of the Rings, okay? I own my OC, but that's about all. Peace.
A/N: Okay. I've seen that everyone and their Grandmammy has written a "OC goes to Middle Earth" fic. But I haven't read any where "OC ends up with LoTR canon characters in her humble abode," although that doesn't mean that there aren't any. So I decided to write one. Thanks, and I hope you enjoy.
*-*-*-*
Okay, listen up here. My name is Rachel. I reside in America. I'm in the eighth grade. I don't have any visible scars, nose rings or what not, tattoos, third eyes, et cetera.
Well, anywho, a while ago, something happened to me that was incredibly weird and highly disturbing to my mental state.
I know that you won't believe me, and I guess I can accept that (or maybe I lied, okay?!). But you have GOT to know what happened!
*-*-*-*
Listen; as I've said before, I'm an eighth grader at a school in some junior high in America (the name won't be given to protect the guilty!). I've got a sarcastic sense of humor, and am kind of cynical sometimes. I'm not popular and I don't not have any friends either. I'm tall, and I've got this bushy brown hair and blue eyes. Genetics suck.
I'm not rich. I don't shop at Abercrombie and Fitch or anything like that. In fact, I've never even been in one. I'm a rebel, for crying out loud! Haha, yeah. That'll be the day. I shop at thrift stores and other stuff like that.
I've got a bad sense of judgment when it comes to my common sense sometimes. I'm clumsy and I often break/mess things up. I'm kind of lazy sometimes, and I procrastinate often. I don't like homework, and if it were up to me, school would be entirely optional.
I don't like stress, as I don't handle it well. And I definitely hate deadlines, since I am disorganized and messy. I've never had a boyfriend, and I don't plan on it. Thanks for making me bring THAT up.
Now, I'm going to move right along, okay? I bet you're dying to hear what actually did happen to me. No? Well, will you please pretend? Thanks.
*-*-*-*
I was sleeping. Now, normally, this wouldn't be much of a problem. But I hadn't been getting to sleep much, after school had started and I'd had trouble getting back into sleeping.
It was six thirty in the morning. I was supposed to be up in thirteen minutes. I usually set my alarm clock for odd times just because I can. I'm a weird little person, I bet you're thinking, right? Well, I suppose you're right. Hee hee.
Anyway, I was fully prepared for Less Than Jake to come blaring from my clock radio early in the morning. It was the best thing about being woken up at such an obscene our of the morning. My dog Licorice was curled up in bed with me, and my parakeet Aberdeen was scuttling around in his cage.
My little brother Jeff was asleep in his room with Erika, our other dog, and PJ the parakeet and Toadley the toad were being quiet and asleep.
Mom and Dad were in their room. Dad was probably in the shower getting ready for work. Mom was playing on the laptop because she didn't have to go to work until noon, and our third and final dog Snickerdoodle was curled up under the covers in their room.
Yes, sir. Things were perfect. My favorite CD was going to be playing soon. My dog was asleep and keeping my leg warm. Life was good.
But all of a sudden, there was a large crash, and suddenly several VERY heavy bodies hit my bed. Licorice yelped and scurried over onto my pillow. I snarled and sat up as fast as I possibly could, and clutched my doggy for dear life. My eyes were bugging out, and my teeth were gritted.
I bet I looked like a freakin' idiot.
There were several dudes on floor and draped on my bed. I screamed like a banshee, and Licky sat, petrified, in my arms. The two of us stared vacantly. Suddenly, a guy with black hair began to stir.
Suddenly, my alarm switched on and the familiar beginning of 'Automatic' began to play. I must have jumped about a foot in the air, because I tumbled off of my bed, Licorice on top of me and my music blasting loudly. It's not like it would wake me up if it was quiet; I sleep like a log.
A short little guy with curly, dark hair was the first one to sit up and rub his head. He wasn't wearing anything like the guys who attended my school might wear or anything like that, but hey, what can you do? They obviously weren't from around here.
"What in the-?" I said groggily, not even realizing I had started to talk, at first. "Who are you, punk?" I screeched shrilly, holding up one of my new shoes threateningly. Okay, Rachel, these guys had swords and bows and arrows and what not. What was a shoe going to do for my self defense?!
Suddenly, I was very afraid.
"Wait, wait! I mean you no harm, miss!" the guy said. "My name is Frodo Baggins! I'm a hobbit. I'm from the Shire! And we're on a quest to cast the one ring back into the fires of Mount Doom!"
"What! Are you high?" I shouted, making Licorice squirm. It was very loud in the room, and with every movement of the people on my bed, it creaked, and I was afraid it would break under their weight.
"High?" a second 'hobbit' asked. "Well, Miss, we aren't tall, you might say, so I suppose we aren't 'high,' if that's what you mean."
"Sam, I don't think that's what she meant," the guy with the black hair who had first stirred said observantly.
"Whatever, Aragorn. Don't be such a know it all!" another dude said, one with long-ish brown hair.
"Shut up, Boromir!" Now, I usually wouldn't think that men like these would talk like this, but I suppose that was the jist of things.
"Both of you shut up!" I screamed loudly, beating my fists on the ground, making a loud rumbling. "Lord of the Rings has come to our house, Licky!" I said to the black dachshund I still help.
"Lord of the what?" an Elf-ish person that had to be Legolas said.
"Lord of the Rings. There's books about you. Jeff has read them a billion times. I myself have seen the movie. I've got it on DVD."
"DVD?" Boromir repeated.
"Sounds like some sort of devilry!" Gimli barked.
"No, no, no!" I said. "And listen, I don't exactly have time for this! I'm kind of needing to get ready for school!"
There was a shocked pause.
"SCHOOL?" Merry exclaimed loudly.
"I want to go!" Pippin agreed.
"No, I do!" Frodo and Boromir said at once. What was the matter with these people?! Getting transferred from Middle Earth to Mid-America must have not agreed with them.
"I have heard of this 'school' place," Gandalf began dramatically. "And it is a foul, horrible place. Frightening, this place is." I snorted as I flung a pair of jeans on top of my desk and began looking for my shirt for today.
"Oh come on, Gandalf. It isn't *that* bad!" I assured them.
"Well, if Gandalf says it's not good, I will be of no part of it!" Gimli insisted, stubbornly folding his arms.
"Fine! You guys can stay here and the rest of us will go to school!" I said, exasperated, but having finally found my t-shirt. "After I get ready, I will get you guys clothes out of the laundry room!"
A resounding cheer filled the room.
*-*-*-*
"Uh, Rachel, what are you eating?" Pippin asked, glancing at the bowl of cereal.
"Lucky Charms," I said through a mouthful of hearts, stars, horseshoes, clovers and blue moons. Not to mention pots of gold and rainbows. And of course, the red balloons. "Go ahead, fix yourselves some," I urged, knowing the hobbits would need food, or so I supposed.
I just hoped I wouldn't have to deal with second breakfast.
*-*-*-*
"And who are these people?" my best friend Casey asked as I arrived at the bus stop of DOOM with Boromir, Aragorn, Legolas, Merry, Pippin, Sam and Frodo in tow. "They don't seem to be any of our fellow eight graders," she mused.
"Casey, you'd think I'm crazy," I said with a sigh.
"What? Who? Me?" she asked, putting on an expression of mock shock (hey, that rhymes!), hands on her cheeks. "Come on, tell me! Tell me!" she begged in an annoying chant-like way. I glanced at the Fellowship, who were staring on expectantly, eager grins on their faces. I rolled my eyes.
"Fine!" I said, leaning in to whisper to her, because that pesky guy who lived right next door to the bus stop, who probably thought that we were drunk half the time. Just because we screamed 'Bunny!' whenever we saw a rabbit and waving at cars and other fun stuff.
When I finished, she looked at me weird, not saying anything.
"Rachel. You really are crazy! Just like everyone says!" Casey yelled, edging away.
"No! Seriously!"
"Fine! Can you prove it?!" she squealed hysterically.
"Frodo, can you please show her the ring?" I begged, very embarrassed.
"I beg your pardon?" Frodo asked, hand flying to his neck. He must have been afraid I'd steal the ring. Yeah, right, sure, whatever Frodo. I've seen just how much trouble that little ring had caused.
"Well, puh-lease, will you just show her the ring?"
"Yes, 'Mr. Frodo,' if that's indeed your real name," Casey said with a bemused look on her face. "Do indeed show me the ring."
"All right," Frodo finally agreed, with a reluctant sigh. He pulled the chain up and the ring was exposed. Casey gasped and stumbled away.
"Oh my god, Rachel!" she cried. "You weren't kidding, were you?!"
"Uh, no. I wasn't," I said finally, after kicking a few rocks down the intersection. "I told you I wasn't lying; why would someone lie about this kind of thing?"
"Because they're insane!" Casey cried.
"Uh, Rachel?" Boromir asked from behind where I was trying to stop Casey's head from exploding.
"Speaking!" I responded, turning around.
"What exactly are we waiting for?" Aragorn broke in.
"Aragorn, you fool! I can speak by myself!"
"Excuse me for living!" Aragorn fired back.
"Shut up!" Casey and I shouted in unison. Birds flew off of trees at the loud noise.
"Well, Boromir, we are waiting for the bus," I explained softly.
"The bus?" Legolas questioned, as if afraid someone might hear him. I stared at him.
"Uh, yeah. It's a means of transportation," I tried to clarify.
"With lots of insane people on it!" Casey added helpfully.
"Hey, did you know that when I was eight I saw this thing on TV and this kid said 'All the weird kids ride the bus!' I believed him but my mom said 'That's not true! Just wait until you get older and ride the bus!' So I forgot about that and then when I got to ride the bus, I realized that my former suspicions were correct; and that, in fact, all the weird kids *do* ride the bus!" I informed Casey.
"Ah ha," she mused. "I guess that's right, seeing as how everyone on our delightful bus is not exactly playing with a full deck."
*-*-*-*-*
Okay, fine, I suppose I should let you know that, a ways back, I lied to you. I have never had a boyfriend, that much is true, but I will tell you that I have my eye on someone.
Pathetic? Sure. Improbable? Totally! Sad? YES.
Anyways, his name is Alex, and he's in my homeroom. Are you happy? Of course not. Now back to the story.
*-*-*-*
Well, the best we could do was to get Pippin and Aragorn in our homeroom. And by 'our' homeroom, I mean me and Casey's. Yes, that's right, my best friend is in my homeroom. Weird coincidence, right? That's what I thought!
My brain was frozen, and I had a huge headache. I rested my head on the obviously fake wood surface of my desk. I hoped not everyone was staring at me, especially Alex. Good thing he wasn't there yet.
Aragorn and Pippin sat in silence. I had assigned everyone new names. Aragorn was Andrew, Pippin was Peter, Frodo was Fred, Merry was Maxwell, Legolas was Lester, and Boromir was Blake. It was a good thing that Sam had a 'normal' sounding name, I guess, because it was sort of hard for Casey and I to think up those names.
Casey was sitting behind me, talking to Amy, who was another girl in our class, and Eric, a tall boy also in our class with bleach-blonde hair streaked red using cherry Kool-Aid. Sounded like a good idea to me.
The door creaked open, and I lifted my head quickly. It was Alex, with his blue binder under his arm. He took a seat next to me.
"Hey Alex," Casey said.
"Hey Casey, hey Rachel," he responded. "Hey, did we get new students?"
"Yes, yes we did," I replied vacantly, staring at the overhead projector.
"Uh, Peter and Andrew," Casey added, kicking me in the back of the leg. I grunted and folded my arms.
"Hey guys!" Alex said, waving to 'Peter and Alex.' They reluctantly waved back.
I sighed.
It would be a long day.