Disclaimer: Stargate: SG-1 is not mine. I swear. :)

A/N: Yup, we... no, to be precise, you still have no idea who attacked Carter. Or what is going on, by that matter. Ok, moment of truth is here. Read on. And review later. Last one is compulsory.

Till the end of the time

Chapter 8

Jack shot a confused look at Daniel, only to receive identical one in return. Yes, they had searched through Carter's office (and prayed that she doesn't go in there before they had a chance to clean up, but that prayer obviously wasn't answered, although they seriously doubted that was a reason of her anger), but didn't take anything. God dammit, there wasn't anything in there that caught their attention, never the less enough for them to take it.

OK, Jack had a glance of something that looked suspiciously like Major's diary, but didn't dare take it or even open it. He still clearly remembered the last time he had invaded her privacy without asking, and he surely didn't want to go through that argument again.

Name of her attacker was not in that diary. Even if she knew him (which was Jack's guess), she didn't have a chance to write it in. But... maybe, maybe there was something there about the mission... about what exactly happened to her while she was captured, while she wasn't under Colonel's watchful eyes. Maybe, just maybe, it could prove to be the thing they needed to crack this thing open. Not literally.

He looked at her. Carter was lying, with her head in his lap.

She was still shaking, but her eyes were closed and she wasn't speaking, although her lips were moving. Jack wasn't sure was it because she shook like a leaf on the water, or because she was trying to tell him... them something.

He looked at Daniel, then at General, "I don't know what she wants from me... I don't have anything hers..."

Jack suddenly stopped dead in the tracks. That was true. After all they had been through, after everything they had seen and done, after all those times when one of them was in a mortal danger... He didn't have anything that belonged to her. If it ever came to...

Only his memories. Sometimes they are all the man has left.

He scolded himself at the thoughts.

'Carter's is going to be fine. I'll be damned if I let anything happened to her.'

But then he remembered. He did let something happened to her. And before he had a chance to start berating himself, Jack noticed expecting looks from Daniel and General.

Focusing his attention once more, he said, "I have an idea, although I don't know will it help... I need to take something from her lab."

Archeologist prayed that whatever idea Jack had right now, was the one that will help them save Sam. He clenched his fists, and slid down to Jack. Janet went to get help and a gurney, General disappeared also.

"Go, hurry, I'll take her to the infirmary."

Jack wondered how would Danny boy do this... but had no time to stay and watch. He simply nodded and gently moving Carter over to Daniel, hurried to get the diary.

Dr. Jackson watched for a few seconds sturdy figure of the older man, as it vanished behind the corner, then looked at Sam. She was still shaking, and her face went into deathly pale nuance.

"It'll be OK, Sam. I promise," he said quietly, and then slid his arms under her back and knees, and got up. She was light, but considering everything that happened last few days, it was hardly surprising. Anyone would be thin if he was fed on an IV for a week.

He shook his head slightly in denial, and then swiftly moved down the corridor.

"OK, here it is," Jack handed the diary over to Daniel. Both doctors and General looked at him in wonder.

"Sam's diary?" Janet asked. "What do you need that for?" She furrowed her brows.

"Maybe Sam had written something in there about the mission, something that would help us figure out... " Daniel was finally catching up with Jack's train of thoughts, for a change, and gave him a surprised look, "...what exactly happened there. Something about The Protected One."

Janet sighed. Chances of that were very small, but, it was all they had.

Suddenly a disturbing thought crossed her mind. 'What if Sam had written about her feelings for... Jack?'

It was something Dr. Fraiser suspected for a long time, but every time she tried to talk with her about that, Sam would find an appropriate excuse and avoided the topic. She knew anyone would hated anyone prying into their personal lives, thoughts and feelings... and it was even worse when it came to Sam.

'What if she did write in there about Jack? Things in there were never meant to see the light of the day,' Janet thought wearily.

"I am sure Sam's report contained everything of importance," she tried to prevent what was clearly inevitable.

"I am sure it does. But Carter doesn't remember speaking in alien language, maybe she doesn't remember writing in one."

Daniel was astonished by the way Jack's mind worked this time. Maybe he, too, was 'alienated'.

But, he had to agree with him all the same. It was possible diary contained valuable insight into this whole thing, hell, it may just give them clues to who attacked Sam. But, only Hammond could give them approval of something like that, except Sam, of course, but as she was unavailable at this time...

Daniel and Jack looked at General. He understood the unspoken question.

"Although I don't agree with this 'prying' into Major Carter's private affairs, she is officer under my command, and I believe her life is in danger, and as such... Let's see, Dr. Jackson and hope it's worth it."

Daniel dreadfully opened the diary. He suspected why Jack didn't want to be the one to do it...

'Man, Sam's gonna be really mad when she finds out... Please, God, make it worth the torture I am about to receive when she does find out...'

He inhaled deeply and looked. 'Nice, neat handwriting. Oh, not so nice and neat handwriting. Seems she was pissed off when she wrote this part…Good thing dates are here...'

He found the date of the day mission ended. Only few lines have been written down. He informed the General about that.

"Read on, son."

Daniel didn't missed almost scared look of Hammond's that went in the direction of Major's bed.

The bad thing was, they were in infirmary with Sam only a few meters away, and the good thing was, that no one else was around (now, that's a first) and Carter was sedated. Again. Janet surely did have a 'thing' about needles.

He didn't miss the fact that the letter were a bit smudged, as if the page was wet once, and he strongly suspected that the wet thing were Sam's tears. It only made the knot in his stomach even bigger. 'Some things you just can't avoid, but I hope Sam will have enough mercy and make it quick and painful. I don't want to suffer,' Daniel thought and started reading.

"It happened again. This time they weren't just dim images quickly fading from the edge of my mind every time I tried harder... This time, they were real, vivid... memories. Memories. Yet, I wasn't there... those aren't my experiences. But the pain, the pain is real. Deep inside.

It hurts so much. I see people, lots of people. People I have never met, on the planet I have never visited, yet I know them. And I know they knew me. They KNEW me. Because... they are dead. They are all dead.

I felt scream coming from the bottom of my stomach, and I had to bite down the pillow, so I wouldn't wake up the entire base.

Why didn't they listen? I told them... I told them."

Daniel looked up. General Hammond had a dumbstruck, but very concerned expression, Janet looked rather frightened, but somewhat relieved. He couldn't make out why.

Jack didn't look at him. Or at any of them for that matter. He was looking in the direction where his Major lay.

Daniel couldn't read his face, or maybe he didn't dare. Some things are better left unsaid...unthought.

He glanced back at the small page, but something at the bottom caught his attention. It was addition, written very quickly (he could tell, being... Daniel), in an different ink.

"Oh, there is something here... Post scriptum of some kind."

His eyes flew over those sentences, and his face quickly changed color.

"Um, I am... not sure...should we read this," he muttered.

"Well, we came so far..." Jack's reply seemed unusual, but General agreed.

There was no way out. Dr. Jackson sighed, and pushing his glasses up his nose, read in a rather quivering voice, "Tonight I lost my hope. And all those years seem in vain... what we built is shattered. I feel it in my heart. Jack will never love me. I only hope I will be long gone when he finds out."

If previous paragraph of Sam's diary seemed confusing and frightening, then this was beyond it. Way beyond it.

At least for Colonel Jack O'Neill.

He put his head in his hands and stayed silent, for a very long time.

When he finally looked at his friends again, his eyes had a different shadow to them.

"When I find out what?"

A/N: As usual. Just tell me what you think. In review.