Disclaimer: Would I be here if I owned Stargate: SG-1? I think not.

Till the end of the time

Chapter 11

She couldn't tell how much time had passed since Jack left. How long she had been lying on the cold floor, curled up, with her knees brought up close to her torso, and her arms wrapped around them... How long since the last tear had found its way over her cheek and nose and plopped into the small salty puddle, leaving just another wet trail... She couldn't say.

Silence was promising her a slow drowning. She was gasping for air, and every breath she drew in hurt... each one more then the one before. Painful sensation of her lungs being shrunk to the tenth of their size made her feel like she was trapped in a very small cage, without any means of escape. Getting up was not an option. Hell, if simple thing such as taking the air in meant so much pain, she had a feeling that moving would break every bone in her body.

And she wasn't sure if she had any strength left... even to try.

Floor was cold, and that was exactly how her insides felt. Cold and empty. All those churning feelings that threaten to deliver already grinded food in her stomach back to the daylight disappeared after few hours of lying on the smooth, icily surface... emptiness took over. And it was far worse then any sickly feeling she has ever experienced.

Nothingness, void. Near the point where all movement stop. Very cold.

Her mind was ravaged by the things that happened in the last few days, and one thing in particular wouldn't go away, no matter how hard she tried to forget.

***

Samantha Carter entered the debriefing room only to find her teammates and General looking at her like she has just grown horns. She sensed Janet quietly slipping away from behind her. Air was saturated with tension and she dared not go any further, but stopped dead in her tracks and turned to face the General.

"Reporting as ordered, Sir," she said, while silently praying that his next words will not be 'bad news'. Or 'please sit down'. Hearing those words coupled with the looks she was receiving would be a sure sign that something has just gone wrong.

"Please sit down, Major."

'Here we go,' Carter thought, but took her place silently. Jack had a particularly weird look in his eyes. ' This can't be well. No way.'

"Would you mind explaining to Major Carter what you have just explained to us, Dr. Jackson?"

'OK, it is really bad, 'cause it involves Daniel's theories and General is trying his best not to be the one faced with my wrath. Colonel has a very strange look in his eyes. That is not good. Not at all. But, what will be will be. Lets hear what Danny has come up with this time.'

Samantha leaned back in her chair and tried to relax, Daniel's explanations usually lasted for a very long...

"There is no easy way to say this Sam, so I am just gonna say it."

Carter suddenly straightened and moved forwards. Daniel was never blunt like this. 'Something is... '

"We... I... believe that you might be the reincarnated soul of the woman whose name you spoke, Ractah, and that creatures called 'Soldiers of fate' are after you. They want you... dead."

Jack could swore he had never seen bigger pair of eyes than Carter's that moment.

***

So that was it. Funny really, how one thing can make you feel that your whole life is nothing but a lie and that you do not belong among people with whom you have spent your entire life with. Or at least a good portion of your existence. How it can make you realize with a fright that all those horrible images you often blamed your over-active imagination for are real. Very real. That those are your memories, your past.

She felt like Samantha Carter, Major in USAF is nothing but a fitful dream. Somewhat of a ghost. Pretty lie.

She was someone else before she was Carter. She had a different life once, in different world, in some long forgotten time, of which only Daniel's legends spoke.

Images of burnt, massacred bodies and terrified children fleeing came rushing back. Through the mists of her conscious mind screams and cries broke.

Samantha covered her face with her hands and bit her lip. It didn't help. Long, pained wail came from her curled form and long afterwards seemed to linger between four walls of her laboratory.

She fell into nightmares haunted sleep, but not for long. Floor is not a comfortable resting site, indeed, as Teal'c would say. When she woke up, SGC was still silent. Her watch showed 4 o'clock in the morning. With relief Carter realized that soon base will became a very busy place, a place in which she could, at least for a while, forget her worries, and let go. But just for a while.

With few difficulties, cramped back not being the least of them, she got up, and noticed two cups of now icily cold coffee on her desk. Memories of the last night and Jack came flooding back.

Sam sat at the table and drew one cup closer. On the black surface of the still liquid her face was reflected and she was startled at the way she looked. Messy hair, and she could swore that black rings around her eyes were reaching her cheeks. Sighing, she hit the desk with her forehead. There was some awkward comfort in lying like that. It reminded her of the nights she used to spend working and then falling asleep on the spot. Now, mere thought of sleep seemed distant and strange, and she doubted that she would ever be able to sleep again, sleep and not wake up screaming.

Things Daniel told her were truth, she knew that, and now that truth seemed to be releasing immense amount of memories, feelings, and thoughts. Immense amount of pain... and guilt. She was responsible for the destruction of her people. She let them die. Every single one of them.

Daniel and Teal'c sat in the mess-hall, both of them having their usual breakfast, which in Daniel's case consisted of seven cups of coffee, and three immediate visits to the restrooms. Carter was nowhere to be seen, just like Colonel.

"Maybe we should go look for Sam? She looked rather... distressed about whole 'Ractah' thing. Hell, I mean, who wouldn't be? Having someone tells you that you are not you and that your whole life is just a ..." Daniel was just getting warmed up, when Teal'c's ever calm voice interrupted him.

"I believe Major Carter is here."

Daniel looked towards the entrance and, indeed (in Teal'c's fashion again), Carter stood there, looking rather pale but strangely composed. She shot them a quick smile, then proceeded to have some food.

Few minutes later she reappeared carrying single bottle of water.

"Feeling hungry, huh?"

"Not really, Daniel," she said in a light tone and smiled. Of course, it fooled no one.

"Talk," Dr. Jackson was brief, second time in the last two days, and that was a newly set record.

She simply looked at him, trying to look confused, but it turned out to be more like a painful grimace, and said, "I have nothing to talk about. Unless you would like to hear some more of the wormhole physics?"

"Hiya campers," Jack's strangely bright voice announced his presence to the two Tau'ri, but Jaffa spotted him before anyone else in the mess-hall.

"Good morning, O'Neill."

"Hey, Jack."

"'Morning, Sir."

Jack sat next to Teal'c and hungrily attacked his breakfast, not noticing Sam's immediate closing in, manifested by sudden interest in the metallic surface of the table, and worried looks she was receiving from Daniel. Count the raised Teal'c's brow somewhere in there.

Only a few seconds passed, when Carter got up and excused herself. Half of the SGC witnessed her unusually quick retreat in her lab. Some swore, later on, that young Major was in tears.

"Jack, there is something wrong with Sam," Daniel had a thing about stating the obvious, but this obviously was not obvious to Jack (OK, I do have a thing about being obvious :)).

"Huh?" he mumbled with his mouth full, turning his attention to the living people for the first time.

"DanielJackson believes that Major Carter is in distress."

"All right, I'll go check up on her," Colonel said, getting up, but then he picked up yellow folder from the edge of the table and handed it over to young archeologist. "Here, I have spent all night going from one part of the town to another to get you this. Hope those damn rocks are worth the trouble," wide grin spread over his face.

"Artifacts, Jack, those are artifacts. And yes, they are definitely worth the trouble, people of PX77-243 will be very grateful," Daniel answered with the identical grin. Just another consequence of spending too much time with Colonel.

"OK, I am off to see what is bothering out Major," Jack disappeared in the crowd of military personal which had finished their meal and were now hurrying to report to duty.

"General Hammond wished to speak to us about Sam," Daniel said, "Come on, Teal'c, lets go."

"Carter, you there?" Jack's head appeared behind the door.

Sam seemed to be busying herself with some new equipment, but stopped immediately.

"Sir," she said, trying to calm herself down, "How can I help you?"

He made a few steps towards her, but then his attention was distracted by some disregarded tool on the small desk. He started fidgeting with it, but dropped it after a second or two.

"Danny is worried about you, Carter. And so are Teal'c and I. We never really had a chance to talk after Daniel presented you with his... theory. Care to talk?" his smile was back in place.

She looked at him in surprise.

"Sir?" That was about all she could conjure. 'He was here last night. He had every chance. Instead he just...'

Jack was playing again, this time with something else, and it looked like he wasn't paying attention. Sam knew it was just his way to give her some space.

"Yeah?" he kept his eyes on the instrument.

"Sir..." she took a deep breath. 'This has to be done,' she thought to herself.

"Sir, I want you to know that I am ready to face consequences of my... actions," she forced herself to remain calm. Never before she had to call her kiss 'an action' and face a military trial because of it. Or at least reprimand.

"What are you talking about, Major?" once again, Jack's attention was on her.

"Sir, last night. I am willing to inform General about everything myself."

'Why is he acting like he doesn't know what I am talking about?' she thought and silently cursed herself. If she wasn't acting like a wounded animal all of this would never happened. But one part of her enjoyed every second of it. Every second of being in his arms, and touch of his lips.

"Major, what about last night?" Jack was completely lost. This felt like playing a game without knowing the rules.

"Sir, I... " her voice suddenly became small, "I kissed you. Aren't you going to report me?"

He backed off a few steps and raised his hands, "Whoa Carter! You kissed me? Last night? I wasn't in the base last night at all. I was pickin' up some stuff for Danny. Wait... you kissed me?"

Whole world began to spin for Sam. Very fast. Much like a rolercoaster ride, just this time with a dose of unknown fear.

"Sir, you came to my lab, last night. We talked and then..." reality finally hit in. She went pale, if it was possible to go any paler than the nuance of her skin. She clutched at the desk and looked at him. Straight in the eyes.

"Soldiers..." she croaked.

He regarded her for a second, and then caught up with the train of her thoughts.

"Soldiers of fate, Carter?"

She simply looked at him. Question was in her eyes.

"Why didn't he kill me?" she whispered.

Feeling of insecurity and fear quickly spread in the room.

"Lets go, Cart. We have to see others."

Before she could comprehend what was he telling her she was being dragged out of the lab and into the corridor. Then his grip seemed to loosen a bit, until he finally let her go. Hoarse whisper reached her ears. "I won't mention the kiss."

Trying to keep up with his pace, she stole a moment to look at him. It was strange how, even in the times like this, he managed to keep that smug look on his face. But now, she had no time to ponder on that. New thoughts and feelings overtook her mind, and only the trained habit led her through corridors of SGC. Colonel was close at her side.

A/N: Come on, did you really think Jack would leave Sam just after she kissed him? 'Though it did look pretty convincing, huh? Nah, they have a long, long way to go before... anything happens. But something will happened soon. Something nasty. Don't go away.

But review in any case. I want to know how did you like these... um... twists? Reviews are necessary for my survival.