Goten Gets a Date
One day at Goten and Trunks' school, the boys were walking to their lockers talking about their usual pointless stuff.
Goten: But Trunks! There is no way you could have done that!
Trunks: Ok, tell my why I couldn't have killed my teacher?
Goten: Trunks first of all, how can you go Super Saiyan without anyone noticing?
Trunks: Well you can ask Jimmy! He knows!
Goten: You mean the twitchy Jimmy who is always saying "There ain't nuthin wrong wit me!"
Trunks: No! I mean the cool Jimmy in our English class!
Goten: Ooooooh, alright!
Trunks: Anyway, Mr. Patterson was really making me mad right, saying I never do my homework-
Goten: Uh... but you never do your homework.
Trunks: That isn't the point! Anyway... so I got so sick of it and went Super Saiyan and punched him through his fat gut!
*Meanwhile Mr. Patterson walks by*
Mr. Patterson: Hello boys. Trunks, you should be in the principal's office! I told you I would not tolerate your arrogant attitude and horse play in my class!br
Trunks: Uh... right, where was I going? *Sweat bead drops*
Goten: Didn't you say you ki-
Trunks: Right, to the office I go! *Sprints off*
Goten: Uh... Ok *bumps into someone* Oof! Sorry! *Starts to get up* Here let me he-
*Goten sees a girl who he ran into, he freezes and stares*
Lauren: No, it was my fault. *Grabs hold of his hand to pull herself up instantly making Goten's face turn red*
Goten: Uh... I- I- I- I- I- I- I-
Lauren: *giggles* You're funny, what's your name?
Goten: Uh... *mumbles*
Lauren: Umm... ok well my name is Lauren, I geuss I'll see you around.
*Lauren walks away as Goten stands there blankly still mumbling*
Goten: It's Goten! Hey! Where'd you go? *Goten walks to the office*
*Trunks is heard yelling loudly*
Trunks: Hey! It isn't my fault he was being a jerk!
*Suddenly a guy in a hover car with a yellow capsule corp. jacket walks into the office*
Vegeta: Boy! What is this I hear about you in trouble again!?
Trunks: Aaaaah dad!
Vegeta: You! Principal! What did he do?
Principal: Uh... well sir, your boy was mouthing off to the teacher and apparently messing around.
Trunks: Uh... oh...
Vegeta: Why you!!!!! Get in the hover car now!
Trunks: *whining* But da-ad!
Vegeta: NOW OR I WILL BREAK YOUR ARM!
Trunks: But it hurt too much last time!!!
Vegeta: THEN GET IN THE CAR YOU WHINY LITTLE BRAT!
*Trunks walks outside sadly*
Vegeta: *ahem* I promise you it will be dealt with... a day of the Burning Knives in the Gravity Chamber should be enough... *walks out muttering*
Goten: ...Wow, geuss that means me and Trunks won't be able to play tonight. *starts to fly home*
*Goten arrives at home and goes to find his dad*
Goten: Uh… dad?
Goku: Yes son?
Goten: Today, I bumped into a girl, and I started to feel all tingly inside.
Goku: *laughs* Ahhhh yes son… your finally beginning to experience love.
Goten: Love?
Goku: Yes son, it is when a guy and a girl want to spend the rest of their lives' together.
Goten: Ooooh. Well I am not sure if she likes me.
Goku: Son, listen to me. Whenever a girl says yes, it means no. When a girl says no, she really means yes. Keep that in mind when you talk to her!
Goten: Hmmm… alright.
*The next day at school Goten runs into Trunks*
Goten: Trunks! What happened to you!
Trunks: *has a bunch of bandages and bruises* Well… my dad sort of punished me.
Goten: Ouch… was it worse than the stinging tenderizing hammer?
Trunks: Well… that still doesn't hurt afterwords… but this still keep hurting.
Goten: Ok, well I geuss we have to get to class.
Trunks: All right… *limps to his next class*
Goten: *walks cheerfully and humming*
Lauren: Hey!
Goten: *gulp* Uh… h-h-h-h-h-h-h-
Lauren: Think you can tell me you're name now?
Goten: Well I… ummm… my name… erm…
Lauren: *giggles* Today?
Goten: Uh, it's Goten!
Lauren: Oh, nice name!
Goten: You like my name?
Lauren: Yeah, it's unique.
Goten: (thinking) Wait… if yes means no and no means yes…
Lauren: So, how is it going?
Goten: I don't know, but I think Lauren is a dumb name too.
Lauren: What?
Goten: Nevermind… would you like to meet me somewhere tonight?
Lauren: Yeah! I don't have much homework!
Goten: Oh… I see… well-
*The bell rings*
Lauren: Uh oh, bye! *runs off*
Goten: *sniff* LAUREN DOESN'T LIKE ME!!!!!! *cries and flies through the ceiling to the next class. As a janitor walks by seeing him*
Janitor: Aw, damnit! Stupid ass kids flying off making holes in the roof! *mumbles on while walking away*
*Goten goes on flying to his house. Gohan is there in his bed*
Gohan: *aaaachoo* Mom? Is that you?
Goten: …it's only me Gohan! And stop faking sick!
Gohan: Eh, it worked didn't it? Anyway, you sound mad! What's wrong?
Goten: *sniff* A girl I like haaaaates me!!!!!
Gohan: Uh, what makes you think that?
Goten: Well first she was sarc-ast-ta-tic and said she liked my name! And then she said she said (high pitched girly voice) "Yeah. I hardly have any homework!" (normal voice) When I asked her if she wanted to play with me tonight!
Gohan: …and that means she hates you?
Goten: Yeah! Because dad said no means yes and yes means no!!!!
Gohan: Ok, romantically… dad is a moron!
Goten: Don't say daddy is a moron!
Gohan: Ok, he is romantically retarded.
Goten: Romantic-lic-ally retarded?
Gohan: Anyway, don't take advice from him. I got all the answers!
Goten: Really Gohan!?
Gohan: Uh… sure! I am like the pimp at my school!
Goten: What is a pimp?
Gohan: …anyway how do you think I swooned Videl?
Goten: By being a moron and showing he you're powers so you could train her?
Gohan: No! It was my charming good looks and pick up lines thank you very much!
Goten: Oooooh, so I should try these pick up lines. Mom says I am cute already!
Gohan: Sure you are, we work on your hair after I give you some pick up lines.
Goten: Awesome!
*Meanwhile the next day at school, Goten walks in with a leather jacket, and a gold 1 Star Dragonball necklace with shades and combed back hair*
Goten: Yooooo! Trunks my *looks at arm* brotha! Wha- *looks at arm* Whaz shakin!
Trunks: Uh… Goten… you look like a fool!
Goten: That's all- I mean *looks at arm* Ah-iggit!
Trunks: Sure… I am gonna go away now…
Goten: Sure, *looks at arm* my ho- *squints* mo!
*Trunks sprints away as people laugh and Goten walks to Lauren's locker which he found by stalking her at the end of school…*
Goten: Yo sweet hunnie! Waz shakin!?
Lauren: Uh… what did you do to my hair?
Goten: Come on babe, you don't like my dew?
Lauren: *cocks an eyebrow* Dew?
Goten: Hey hunnie buns, are your legs tired, cus you have been runnin through my mind all day long!
Lauren: Uh… no they aren't actually…
Goten: Oh well, come on *looks at arm* sexy! Let's jam at the mall!
Lauren: Jam? How do you jam? Is it a dance?
Goten: Come on, don't be a square! Just come and hang wit me baby!
Lauren: Ummm… ok I will hang… over there… away from you…
*Goten watches as Lauren leaves and turns around to the group of guys behind him*
Goten: Uh… hi my *looks at arm* home slices!
Boy: Dude, you are being a retard!
Goten: Yoooo don't hate, appreciate!
Boy 2: Appreciate my foot up your ass!
Goten: Uh oh… *flies off as the janitor comes by again*
Janitor: I just put duct tape over that hole you punk!!!!! Stupid children…
*Meanwhile when Goten gets home*
Gohan: Aa-aa-aa-ahchoo!
Chi Chi: Awwww Gohan… let me make you some more rice soup special!
Gohan: *cough cough* I would mom but ummm… *lies limp*
Chi Chi: Geuss he fell asleep…
Goten: Hi mom…
Chi Chi: GOTEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF SCHOOL! AND WHY ARE YOU IN THOSE HOOD CLOTHES!?
Goten: Well Gohan gave them to me… *Gohan coughs loudly in the background* and I am depressed on account of Lauren hating me.
Chi Chi: You mean a giiiiirl?
Goten: Yes mama.
Chi Chi: Son, girls is the devil! I am the onliest woman in your life!
Goten: But mom…
Chi Chi: No buts! Little girls are the devil!!!! And I don't want you hanging around that Lauren enchantress!
Goten: Yes mama… *walks to his room*
Trunks: *bangs on the window* Hey Goten!
Goten: *opens the window* Hey! You're not grounded anymore?
Trunks: …No my dad just thinks he is firing Renzoku Energy Dan at me… I love that hologram.
Goten: Uh, right. Trunks? Have you ever been in love?
Trunks: Yeah. I have 7 and a half girl friends now!
Goten: …7 and a half?
Trunks: Did I stutter? Alright come with me when school is starting, I will get you hooked up with the babes.
Goten: Awesome!
*Meanwhile the next day at school*
Trunks: Alright Goten, I will tell you what to say through this little transceiver.
Goten: Uh… ok. But what if something happens to it?
Trunks: Then you are in deep crap.
Goten: Ooooooh, alright!
Trunks: (over transceiver) *feedback* Goten! Are you there?
Goten: Aaaah, yes I am here I am here!
Trunks: *slaps Goten upside the head* You aren't supposed to talk back! She'll think you are weird then!
Goten: Ooooh alright!
Trunks: Now, look at a few of the note cards I gave you to make a good entrance.
Goten: Sure, thanks Trunks!
Trunks: Yeah… now go *shoves him forward*
Goten: *while reading the cards, he is backing up* Go up behind her and grab her a- *bumps into someone and drops the cards*
Lauren: Ow. Oh, hey Goten.
Goten: Uh… h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-
Trunks: (over transceiver) Say, hey Lauren, you are looking nice today!
Goten: Uh… Hey Lauren, you are looking nice today!
Lauren: Why thank you Goten, let me help you pick up those cards.
Goten: Wait! Lauren I can-
Lauren: *looking at the cards* Walk up to her and kiss her with passion? Moonwalk by her locker, close it and say Sup you sexy bi-
Goten: *snatches them away from her* Ahahahaha, where did those come from!?
Lauren: Alright… well anyway how are you?
Goten: I am feelin-
Trunks: (over transceiver) Say, I am feelin as good as you look.
Goten: As good as you look.
Lauren: Awww, your so sweet! *hugs Goten*
Goten: *blushes* I-I-I-I-I-
Trunks: (over transceiver) Get off me!
Goten: Get off me!
Lauren: Huh?
Trunks: (over transceiver) Yeah, you heard what I said! Get away from me!
Goten: Ummm, yeah you hear what I said? Get… away… from me?
Lauren: Goten… I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go to the mall with me…
Trunks: (over transceiver) Hey! I'll die if you take me there!
Goten: Hey! I'll die if you take me there!
Lauren: *sniff* Goten!
*Suddenly there is a big explosion and Mr. Patterson screams, and Goten gets shocked by the transceiver)
Goten: Ooooo aaaaaaah ooooooow!!!!!!! *falls over*
Lauren: Goten are you ok!?
Goten: *grabs the transceiver and throws it away* Lauren, I like you! I really, really like you! I want to go out with you! I have been taking advice from my dad, my brother, and my best friend! But that made things worse! So I am gonna do this my way!!!!!
Lauren: …wow.
Goten: So… would you like to go to the mall with me?
Lauren: Sure Goten!
*Goten and Lauren go by the office while leaving the school*
Trunks: No! Please don't call my dad! Not again!
Principal: You killed your teacher you delinquent! And your father will definitely hear all this!
Trunks: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
*The principal calls Vegeta and the phone explodes. Vegeta comes flying into the school*
Vegeta: Boy! You are dead!!!!!!
Trunks: Dad… calm down!
*Goten and Lauren look at eachother*
Goten: Ummm… wanna go now?
Lauren: Good idea.
*Goten and Lauren walk away*
Vegeta: You! Principal! What did he do!?
Principal: Well, this time he ki-
*Vegeta blows the pricipal's head off*
Vegeta: Your next boy!!!!!!!!
Trunks: Uh… I can explain… *sprints off*
Vegeta: You stupid boy! *flies through the roof and powers up a Final Flash at the school*
Trunks: Uh… oh…
Vegeta: FIIIIIIINAL!!!!!!!! FLAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!!!! *fires it destroying the whole school*
*The janitor drives up in his pick-up truck to the parking lot*
Janitor: GOD DAMNIT! THIS IS GONNA TAKE A TON OF DUCT TAPE TO FIX!!!!
*Vegeta flies down to the rubble and picks up Trunks by the throat*
Trunks: *moans* da-dad…
Vegeta: If you thought that hurt! Wait until you get home! The pit of lasers will be your welcoming!
Trunks: *cries*
*Vegeta flies away with trunks*
*Meanwhile at Goten's home after his date*
Goten: *sigh* Love is great…
Goku: Well hello son! How are you?
Goten: Great… so great…
Goku: That is good, guessing you had a fun time with your little girl friend then!
Goten: Yeah… it was sweet…
Goku: Alright then, it's about time we had the talk…
Goten: What talk?
Goku: Just listen!
*1 hour later*
Goku: And that is it!
Goten: *stares wide eyed at him*
Goku: Now go to bed.
Goten: *keeps staring*
Goku: *ahem* Goten your room… go to bed!
*Goten goes as Chi Chi walks in*
Chi Chi: Goku, did you do it?
Goku: But Chi Chi, I don't like lieing to him.
Chi Chi: It was the only way… now he won't be interested in that enchantress.
Goku: I geuss so…
*The next day*
Goten: *still has that wide eyed stare*
Chi Chi: Go-ten time to wake up!
Gohan: Ooooh, mom I don't feel so good!
Chi Chi: *sigh* That flu, slash, stomach cramp, slash, head cold, slash, diarrhea, slash, mono, slash, worms is taking it's time going away.
Gohan: Oh yeah, it is horrible! I will just be in my bed!
Chi Chi: Hmmm, ok.
*Doorbell rings*
Chi Chi: Goten, get the door!
*Goten gets up with the same wide eyed stare on his face and opens the door*
Lauren: Hi Goten!
Goten: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!! *slams the door and runs to his bed and hides under it*
Chi Chi: *rubs hands together* Hehehe… all went according to plans!
~The End~