Voice: Well arent we cheery today?
Perigord: Extremely, thank you very much. So much so, in fact, that most of us are banging our heads against the wall.
Vioce: Well, I have some good news...
All: This can't be good.
Voice: Enter: The cast of Mariel of Redwall
All: MARIEL???
*POP!*
Mariel, Dandin, Durry, Tarquin, Rawnblade, Clary, Hon Rosie and Thyme appear in the room. Along with them are four couches and a small, roughly carved wooden table.
Mariel: Wha?
Russano: Hello! Different time frame here, we're from the period of the Long Patrol, thats ermm.... More than 648968 seasons after your time frame. I'm Russano, current badger lord of Salamandastron, the other badger trying to strangle the hare is Cregga, and the hare is Turry. The rest, Abbess Tansy, Perigord, Twayblade, Tare, Torgorch, Tammo, and Pasque. Why are you here? Well, lets just say we get tortured by bad, bad, EXTREMELY bad fanfiction. Enough said, I think.
Mariel: Wha?
Perigord: Is that all she says? I thought, if I learnt my Redwall history well, that Mariel could say more than that.
Mariel: WHAT?
Perigord: Just an extra "t"? Not much, is it?
Mariel: WHY YOU LITTLE ---!
Perigord: *Gets up and runs* HELLP!!!
Twayblade: *To Clary* You're a colonel, aren't you?
Clary: Yes... It looks like Perigord didn't get past being a lieutenant, if I am able to judge from what has just happened with him and Mariel.
Perigord: *On the floor with Mariel sitting on top of him with an evil look on her face* I'M A MAJ--- GET OFF M---
Mariel: Well look at this! This major here seems to have forgotten all his grammer and vocabulary! Tsk tsk!
Voice: Now now children, don't fight, we still need everybeast alive... For the moment.
All: *Freeze*
Voice: What are you waiting for?
All: *Dash for the seats, and act innocent and well behaved.*
Voice: Good! Now read!
*Paper drops onto Rawnblades lap*
The madness of ThE BaaDgers>>
Hon Rosie: WHOOHOOAHWHA!
All: *Strange looks*
Hon Rosie: What?
Baadggeers are MadD>>
All:...
Rawnblade: Bloodwrath?
Their I's turn purple>>
All the badgers: WHAT?
Hon Rosie: HWOOHAHAH!
Badgers: *Turn and glare at Rosie*
Hon Rosie: WHAT?
And they fall down and start SwiNming in THe saND>>
Rawnblade: That is just plain wrong.
Cregga: Even I didn't do that
And the sand turnEd GrEEn>>
All:...
Perigord: And I bet the sky turned yellow
And ThE skY tuRneD yeLLow>>
Twayblade: PERIGORD!
Perigord: What?? I was only guessing! IT WASN'T ME!
All: We believe you... Ho yes we do...
And PerIgORd WrOOTe Tis>>
All but Perigord [At the same time as Perigord]: TRAITOR!
Perigord [At the same time as the others] : SABOTAGE!
All: *Stare at each other* *Pound the walls* LET US OUT OF HERE!
THE enD>>
MV: Guys! GUYS! I want the feedback!
Perigord: What about stop writing in both capitals and normal letters?
MV: ... Nah.
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