Chapter 7: Vision of Pain
Aeryn walked to her training room briskly. Feeling uncomfortable, the way everyone stared at her because of her treatment of Crichton, she decided to take it out on the punching bag. 'Like they were innocent. They all knew what would happen. Frelling human. Now we have two of them.'
Striding into her workout room, she found John Crichton viciously attacking her punching bag. His shirt was off and sweat glistened on his chest and back. It beaded on his forehead as he tore into the bag with a ferocity she had never seen before.
Welts, scars and bruises were clearly visible. A rather nasty scar near his spine seemed to move independently, snake-like, as if it were alive. At last John's brutal attack stopped. His breathing was deep and steady. Then suddenly he spoke. "Enjoying the show? Or is there another reason for you being here?" John inquired with surprisingly little bitterness.
'How did he know I was here?' she wondered. Dumbstruck by his suddenness, she floundered for a response. "I came to punch the bag," Aeryn answered lamely pointing at what John had previously been attacking.
"Well, go ahead. I'm spent."
Crichton always made her feel foolish, and it angered her. Every frustration, every hatred, every misgiving, every embarrassment John Crichton had caused her, didn't matter which one, exploded. "Frell you Crichton!" she spat and she lunged at him.
A look of cold fear split across his features until it was quickly replaced by rock hard determination. He was sick of getting beaten around, getting used as the universe's private stress ball.
She swung at him, hoping to knock him out like she'd done so many times before when he annoyed her. He was ready; his arm came up, blocking the hit. Then, in a fluid motion, he moved under her arm while holding it in place and then kicked at her the backs of her knees. As planned, Aeryn's legs buckled and she hit the floor, completely confused at the turn of events. Dazed, she lay on the mat, a weight pressed upon her back.
"I told you I was sick of losing consciousness," John whispered in her ear coolly. Aeryn found herself unable to get up no matter how much she struggled. Then, suddenly, the weight was lifted and Crichton had gone.
Aeryn went searching for him. Finally she found him in a hallway, standing utterly still. His jaw was clenched tightly and his eyes were tightly closed, almost as if he were in intense pain. Then, as soon as it began, it finished. His face relaxed and he let out a deep breath.
Without understanding why, she rushed over to him. "Are you all right?" she asked, concerned.
Crichton's normally deep blue eyes looked shallow. "When did you start caring?" he retorted harshly, but his gaze softened, looking into her eyes.
"I'm sorry for what I did to you before. I thought you were going to hurt us all, and--"
She was interrupted by a finger over her lips. "Don't worry about it. You did what you had to do. Though you might've taken your job a bit too seriously," he finished with a wince absently caressing his ribs.
"No, Crichton, you don't understand. I hurt you, and enjoyed it, because of my frustration towards our John. I was shifting my feelings over to you, and you suffered because I lost control. I was..." Aeryn's look of discomfort was almost comical. "Wrong," she said at last.
This was totally unlike Aeryn. Crichton couldn't contain himself, he laughed.
"What?" she asked crossly.
"Who the hell are you and what have you done to Aeryn Sun?" Crichton replied, mirth flickering within his ice-blue eyes.
She responded with "the look". "Frell you, Crichton, I'm trying to apologize."
A glint of humour spread across his features. "I know, I'm sorry, it's just not like you, especially to apologize to such an inferior being as myself."
Grating her teeth and looking like she had the most foul of tastes in her mouth, she said, "I have come to see that you're not as inferior as I had previously believed."
John's face grew grim. "Okay, seriously now, where is Aeryn Sun? Or did I hear incorrectly?"
Aeryn seemed ashamed. "I have never seen a being take as much punishment as you and survive. I almost killed you."
Crichton just grinned at her. "Wouldn't be the first time."
Changing the subject, she asked, "Where did you learn to fight like you did?"
"You taught me."
She shook her head. "I had been trying to train our Crichton to fend for himself, but he never bothered. How come you did?"
He shrugged. "I guess I had more of an incentive."
'I bet you did,' she thought.
An awkward pause settled between then. "Ah, I better go, I still have to work out," Aeryn said, deciding it was time to leave. She turned to walk away.
Suddenly Crichton spoke. "Thank you."
She turned around. "For what?"
"For reminding me how to laugh," he said.
Aeryn gave him one of her most radiant smiles, with a slight edge of irritation. "Don't mention it."
He laughed inwardly at a memory long past. "Now why would I ever mention it?"
Her smile broadened. "Later John." And with that, she was gone. John turned around with a grin, wondering when he turned from Crichton to John.
'As days go, this is a better one than usual. Wait, shut up John, you'll jinx it,' he thought. He remembered what the other John had told him and replayed the conversation over and over. He'd have to thank him later, some of the things said had changed him, to what extent, unknown.
Wandering the halls, he was looking for something to do. No ideas came to him immediately. Zhaan was still feeling horrible about what she'd done, and Gilina was confused, to say the least. Rygel wasn't any fun; D'Argo still didn't trust or feel comfortable around him, and, well, Aeryn.... He just talked to Aeryn, so he wisely decided not to tempt fate. 'Well, I guess visiting Farscape is the best idea I have.' Once in the maintenance bay, John got to work.
Aeryn was confused. She hated being confused, especially about her frelling feelings. It was true she had thought of John as 'interesting.' But she suppressed those thoughts. John belonged to Gilina, but now there were two of them. Frelling human.
Her frustration over Crichton had manifested itself into resentment and hate, but the new John hadn't done anything to her. She still couldn't understand what compelled her to be so malicious. She planned to set things right.
This new John was such a mystery to her though. Even she could tell that something was hurting him deeply. Aeryn had to know what. She decided to ask the only other person who knew the answer.
Standing outside the Delvian's quarters, Aeryn started to have second thoughts. A weird vibe emanated from the room. Opening the door, she saw Zhaan huddled in a corner, rocking back and forth. The room looked as a righteous whirlwind had passed A puddle of tears was on the floor. "I'm sorry, so sorry," the priestess kept repeating.
Horrified at the sight and deeply concerned, Aeryn rushed over to Zhaan's side. 'What did she see that turned her this way? How could anything disturb her this badly?' Tapping her comms she yelled, "John, get to Zhaan's quarters now!"
"On my way," came the reply. Aeryn knelt down and grabbed her obviously sick friend by the shoulders. Zhaan looked up at her and the look Aeryn received sent a sickly cold chill up her spine.
Pure, unadulterated hatred seemed to burn in Zhaan's normally caring and kind eyes. A hand shot up from below, gripping Aeryn's neck and lifting her off the floor. Aeryn tried to scream, but no air left or entered her lungs as she was slammed against the wall. "Do you want to know what I see?" Zhaan yelled maniacally. "Crichton's pain! All of it! All at once, all the same. And you!" she hissed. "Always you in the centre, or at the beginning, or at the end, but you are always there. No longer! I will not allow it anymore! He's suffered enough." Zhaan looked away. "His whole life...at once, so young, so young." She whispered to herself.
Aeryn was afraid. She had never admitted fear before, not even to herself, but the look in Zhaan's eyes instilled a deep sense of terror. She was held by a madwoman.
"Perhaps you'd like a peek? A little window into his world?" she cackled. The mad Delvian pulled her close and placed her head against Aeryn's.
Pain filled her entire being. She felt her mind being torn apart. Her eyes opened. She felt strapped down to a chair. An ugly creature wearing a leather suit stared at her with faint amusement. Aeryn struggled against the straps. "Sorry John, it's not going to be that easy. Ready for another round?" Every nerve in her body burned as if on flame. She screamed. A thought drifted across her mind. 'I hope Aeryn got that nerve tissue. God, I hope she's alright. It'll make this all worth it. Hopefully I'll see that smile one more time. This cadaverous bastard hasn't beaten me yet, I still have hope, all I need. Yeah, right who am I kidding? Sound like a damn Boy Scout.' Another shot of pain coursed through Aeryn's body.
The pain was gone. She opened her eyes and there she was staring back at herself. "Your father was the real hero, he did things. You were just some test monkey who screwed up on his first experiment." Then the memory changed. She saw herself call John, "Deficient human." "Stupid human." "Frelling human." The list continued. "John, we shouldn't." "I will not be a slave to your hormones!"
She then learned about John's twinning and how she ran off with his double onto Talyn; Moya's child. Aeryn felt joy as she saw herself return, until she saw herself step out without saying a word, shrugging her away like she didn't exist. She heard about the other John dying. She saw herself treat John like a ghost through his eyes. Through John's eyes she saw herself leave him, alone. She knew about the pregnancy and John's rush after her, stranding him in the middle of a graveyard.
Heard her voice tell him that the universe didn't need another bastard child of Crichton. Kicks and punches belted into his skin by various species and people, including her own. The intense feeling of loss after each death he had caused, loss of what he called his humanity. Guilt, supreme guilt, bathed her, threatening to drown her. The feelings were unbelievably intense. Nothing was as bad as the pain and hurt. Crichton's feelings and emotions were going to drown her like a flood. They threatened to rip her feeling of self like a tidal wave, she was humbled by it, scared as well.
Then light shone through the veil of despair shrouding her. A single feeling, warm and fuzzy to the touch. It bathed her in it's intensity as the golden light caressed her skin. She barely felt the torrent of tears that gushed down her cheeks in rapture. The feeling was like no other she had even imagined. Suddenly a brief word flashed past her awareness naming the feeling: Love.
It happened like a flash of lightning, and she knew it was only a bit of Crichton's life, his essence, but just as fast as it came, it left. For Aeryn though, it had felt like an eternity. Before she crashed to the floor, the last thing that registered was a figure soaring through the air like a wraith as it belted into Zhaan's side and knocked her down. Feeling drained and weak Aeryn looked up at the shadow.
"Leave her alone! My memories are my own!" shouted John angrily as he picked himself up off the floor.
"I'm sorry," Zhaan repeated on her knees as she wept.
The blue priestess suddenly fainted and swooned to the deck, most likely due to exhaustion. John gingerly picked her up and placed her upon a cot gently. Kissing her forehead he placed her hand in his and squeezed. Mouthing a silent prayer covered her in blankets protectively. Then he walked over to Aeryn's limp form. Lifting her up, he walked out of the room in order to put her in her quarters.
"Was it like that?" Aeryn asked grief stricken.
John nodded. "It was like that, and there's probably a lot more you didn't see or feelings you didn't experience. You got the six-second teaser trailer, which is not very enlightening. You know, there were good moments too. It wasn't all bad. Well, mostly bad towards the end. The beginning was alright, though. Some memories I'd never forget, nor would want to forget . ever."
Aeryn's tear stained eyes looked up at him. "I'm sorry," she whispered. She too vowed never to forget the good feeling she had seen, the love, for her.
John looked at her in mock horror. "Oh my god, what is that, like three times in one day? God, you've probably never even apologized to me once before." A hearty grin played against his features. "Fugetaboutit," John said in his lousiest Italian accent. What did it matter? Like an alien would know the difference between a good or bad accent.
A slow smile spread across Aeryn's lips at John's odd new way of pronunciation. "What's changed? When you first arrived, you were all dark and brooding, but now you're different. What happened?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I realized there's no point going the rest of my life upset and feeling like I got stiffed. I have to make do with what I got left, and I still got my looks, my charm, and my winning attitude," Crichton answered, wiggling his eyebrows. Aeryn looked at him incredulously. "And," he added reluctantly, "Someone helped me remember who I was, who I am, and where I came from." Aeryn wasn't sure, she knew him better. He might only be wearing one of many masks he had to learn in order to survive out here.
"And who are you?"
"Isn't it obvious? I'm Dracula and I came to suck your blood," John announced in another bad accent.
Aeryn rolled her eyes, though she probably would've hit him if she had the strength to move her arms.
John reached the door to her room. Opening it, he walked inside with Aeryn cradled in his arms. Delicately, he laid her on the bed. He then gently covered her with blankets, with the utmost precision. He kneeled next to her exhausted body and looked into her eyes. "I'm sorry you had to witness that. Zhaan had no right.," he trailed off. "Good night, Sunshine." Tenderly he kissed her on the forehead, then hastily stood up and walked towards the door.
"John please don't go. Don't leave me alone tonight. Stay with me," Aeryn pleaded.
John dropped his head and stopped dead. "I can't," he whispered softly. Swiftly, he walked out of the room. Aeryn closed her eyes sadly; why would he want to be with such an evil person like her? She soon drifted off to a sensation less slumber. She couldn't see the tear that ran down his cheek.
"That was foolish of you, Johnny. What you wanted was practically thrown at your feet. How could you turn it down?"
Crichton sighed. "Harv, I thought you understood me by now. I'd only end up hurting her in the end. You know that. It wouldn't be fair. And don't call me Johnny!" Harvey walked out from a corner looking like a character from Pulp Fiction. "Dear god, what next, the frelling gimp?" he muttered to himself.
"John, John, John," Harvey chided. "When did the universe start playing fair? Come on; grow up! You should take the little happiness that's presented to you."
"Harv, you know me better than that. I couldn't live with myself if I hurt her like that."
Straightening his tie and removing his shades, Harvey looked at him coldly. "That thought didn't seem to stop her."
John winced. "Hey man, low blow. Above the belt, please. I'm sorry; I'm just not that type of person. This conversation is over."
"Pilot we need to stop at a commerce planet soon, so keep a lookout for one."
"Of course." Pilot answered. Gilina strode out of the den, heading for hers and John's quarters. It was getting fairly late. The faint sound of humming caught her attention. Turning about, she saw Crichton stride into the den humming a tune she'd caught him humming before. Something about 1812 or something like that. She was about to go after John, but then she noticed his haggard appearance. This was obviously the other Crichton. His eyes were bloodshot, bags and dark circles underneath. Apparently he hadn't slept much lately.
He began to speak. "Yo Pilot!"
The large grey creature looked up at him. "Good evening Commander, is there something I can do for you?"
John rubbed his hands together. Gilina noticed his arms were filthy with some sort of black dirt or liquid. Sweat glistened on his skin. It was probably from working on the Farscape. "Actually, Pilot, yeah. Could you find an uninhabited planet, with vegetation, water, extremely pleasant -- you know, something like my home?"
Pilot looked unsure for a moment, but promptly nodded. "I understand, and I will try." He shrugged it off as homesickness but as Pilot he would endeavour to find something that would suit John.
The human clapped his hands together. "Thanks Pilot, you have no idea how much this means to me. Good night."
"You're welcome, and good night to you as well, Commander."
Gilina walked off trying not to be seen. 'A planet like his home? Why?' she wondered. Filing it away for another time, she headed for her quarters.
Aeryn walked to her training room briskly. Feeling uncomfortable, the way everyone stared at her because of her treatment of Crichton, she decided to take it out on the punching bag. 'Like they were innocent. They all knew what would happen. Frelling human. Now we have two of them.'
Striding into her workout room, she found John Crichton viciously attacking her punching bag. His shirt was off and sweat glistened on his chest and back. It beaded on his forehead as he tore into the bag with a ferocity she had never seen before.
Welts, scars and bruises were clearly visible. A rather nasty scar near his spine seemed to move independently, snake-like, as if it were alive. At last John's brutal attack stopped. His breathing was deep and steady. Then suddenly he spoke. "Enjoying the show? Or is there another reason for you being here?" John inquired with surprisingly little bitterness.
'How did he know I was here?' she wondered. Dumbstruck by his suddenness, she floundered for a response. "I came to punch the bag," Aeryn answered lamely pointing at what John had previously been attacking.
"Well, go ahead. I'm spent."
Crichton always made her feel foolish, and it angered her. Every frustration, every hatred, every misgiving, every embarrassment John Crichton had caused her, didn't matter which one, exploded. "Frell you Crichton!" she spat and she lunged at him.
A look of cold fear split across his features until it was quickly replaced by rock hard determination. He was sick of getting beaten around, getting used as the universe's private stress ball.
She swung at him, hoping to knock him out like she'd done so many times before when he annoyed her. He was ready; his arm came up, blocking the hit. Then, in a fluid motion, he moved under her arm while holding it in place and then kicked at her the backs of her knees. As planned, Aeryn's legs buckled and she hit the floor, completely confused at the turn of events. Dazed, she lay on the mat, a weight pressed upon her back.
"I told you I was sick of losing consciousness," John whispered in her ear coolly. Aeryn found herself unable to get up no matter how much she struggled. Then, suddenly, the weight was lifted and Crichton had gone.
Aeryn went searching for him. Finally she found him in a hallway, standing utterly still. His jaw was clenched tightly and his eyes were tightly closed, almost as if he were in intense pain. Then, as soon as it began, it finished. His face relaxed and he let out a deep breath.
Without understanding why, she rushed over to him. "Are you all right?" she asked, concerned.
Crichton's normally deep blue eyes looked shallow. "When did you start caring?" he retorted harshly, but his gaze softened, looking into her eyes.
"I'm sorry for what I did to you before. I thought you were going to hurt us all, and--"
She was interrupted by a finger over her lips. "Don't worry about it. You did what you had to do. Though you might've taken your job a bit too seriously," he finished with a wince absently caressing his ribs.
"No, Crichton, you don't understand. I hurt you, and enjoyed it, because of my frustration towards our John. I was shifting my feelings over to you, and you suffered because I lost control. I was..." Aeryn's look of discomfort was almost comical. "Wrong," she said at last.
This was totally unlike Aeryn. Crichton couldn't contain himself, he laughed.
"What?" she asked crossly.
"Who the hell are you and what have you done to Aeryn Sun?" Crichton replied, mirth flickering within his ice-blue eyes.
She responded with "the look". "Frell you, Crichton, I'm trying to apologize."
A glint of humour spread across his features. "I know, I'm sorry, it's just not like you, especially to apologize to such an inferior being as myself."
Grating her teeth and looking like she had the most foul of tastes in her mouth, she said, "I have come to see that you're not as inferior as I had previously believed."
John's face grew grim. "Okay, seriously now, where is Aeryn Sun? Or did I hear incorrectly?"
Aeryn seemed ashamed. "I have never seen a being take as much punishment as you and survive. I almost killed you."
Crichton just grinned at her. "Wouldn't be the first time."
Changing the subject, she asked, "Where did you learn to fight like you did?"
"You taught me."
She shook her head. "I had been trying to train our Crichton to fend for himself, but he never bothered. How come you did?"
He shrugged. "I guess I had more of an incentive."
'I bet you did,' she thought.
An awkward pause settled between then. "Ah, I better go, I still have to work out," Aeryn said, deciding it was time to leave. She turned to walk away.
Suddenly Crichton spoke. "Thank you."
She turned around. "For what?"
"For reminding me how to laugh," he said.
Aeryn gave him one of her most radiant smiles, with a slight edge of irritation. "Don't mention it."
He laughed inwardly at a memory long past. "Now why would I ever mention it?"
Her smile broadened. "Later John." And with that, she was gone. John turned around with a grin, wondering when he turned from Crichton to John.
'As days go, this is a better one than usual. Wait, shut up John, you'll jinx it,' he thought. He remembered what the other John had told him and replayed the conversation over and over. He'd have to thank him later, some of the things said had changed him, to what extent, unknown.
Wandering the halls, he was looking for something to do. No ideas came to him immediately. Zhaan was still feeling horrible about what she'd done, and Gilina was confused, to say the least. Rygel wasn't any fun; D'Argo still didn't trust or feel comfortable around him, and, well, Aeryn.... He just talked to Aeryn, so he wisely decided not to tempt fate. 'Well, I guess visiting Farscape is the best idea I have.' Once in the maintenance bay, John got to work.
Aeryn was confused. She hated being confused, especially about her frelling feelings. It was true she had thought of John as 'interesting.' But she suppressed those thoughts. John belonged to Gilina, but now there were two of them. Frelling human.
Her frustration over Crichton had manifested itself into resentment and hate, but the new John hadn't done anything to her. She still couldn't understand what compelled her to be so malicious. She planned to set things right.
This new John was such a mystery to her though. Even she could tell that something was hurting him deeply. Aeryn had to know what. She decided to ask the only other person who knew the answer.
Standing outside the Delvian's quarters, Aeryn started to have second thoughts. A weird vibe emanated from the room. Opening the door, she saw Zhaan huddled in a corner, rocking back and forth. The room looked as a righteous whirlwind had passed A puddle of tears was on the floor. "I'm sorry, so sorry," the priestess kept repeating.
Horrified at the sight and deeply concerned, Aeryn rushed over to Zhaan's side. 'What did she see that turned her this way? How could anything disturb her this badly?' Tapping her comms she yelled, "John, get to Zhaan's quarters now!"
"On my way," came the reply. Aeryn knelt down and grabbed her obviously sick friend by the shoulders. Zhaan looked up at her and the look Aeryn received sent a sickly cold chill up her spine.
Pure, unadulterated hatred seemed to burn in Zhaan's normally caring and kind eyes. A hand shot up from below, gripping Aeryn's neck and lifting her off the floor. Aeryn tried to scream, but no air left or entered her lungs as she was slammed against the wall. "Do you want to know what I see?" Zhaan yelled maniacally. "Crichton's pain! All of it! All at once, all the same. And you!" she hissed. "Always you in the centre, or at the beginning, or at the end, but you are always there. No longer! I will not allow it anymore! He's suffered enough." Zhaan looked away. "His whole life...at once, so young, so young." She whispered to herself.
Aeryn was afraid. She had never admitted fear before, not even to herself, but the look in Zhaan's eyes instilled a deep sense of terror. She was held by a madwoman.
"Perhaps you'd like a peek? A little window into his world?" she cackled. The mad Delvian pulled her close and placed her head against Aeryn's.
Pain filled her entire being. She felt her mind being torn apart. Her eyes opened. She felt strapped down to a chair. An ugly creature wearing a leather suit stared at her with faint amusement. Aeryn struggled against the straps. "Sorry John, it's not going to be that easy. Ready for another round?" Every nerve in her body burned as if on flame. She screamed. A thought drifted across her mind. 'I hope Aeryn got that nerve tissue. God, I hope she's alright. It'll make this all worth it. Hopefully I'll see that smile one more time. This cadaverous bastard hasn't beaten me yet, I still have hope, all I need. Yeah, right who am I kidding? Sound like a damn Boy Scout.' Another shot of pain coursed through Aeryn's body.
The pain was gone. She opened her eyes and there she was staring back at herself. "Your father was the real hero, he did things. You were just some test monkey who screwed up on his first experiment." Then the memory changed. She saw herself call John, "Deficient human." "Stupid human." "Frelling human." The list continued. "John, we shouldn't." "I will not be a slave to your hormones!"
She then learned about John's twinning and how she ran off with his double onto Talyn; Moya's child. Aeryn felt joy as she saw herself return, until she saw herself step out without saying a word, shrugging her away like she didn't exist. She heard about the other John dying. She saw herself treat John like a ghost through his eyes. Through John's eyes she saw herself leave him, alone. She knew about the pregnancy and John's rush after her, stranding him in the middle of a graveyard.
Heard her voice tell him that the universe didn't need another bastard child of Crichton. Kicks and punches belted into his skin by various species and people, including her own. The intense feeling of loss after each death he had caused, loss of what he called his humanity. Guilt, supreme guilt, bathed her, threatening to drown her. The feelings were unbelievably intense. Nothing was as bad as the pain and hurt. Crichton's feelings and emotions were going to drown her like a flood. They threatened to rip her feeling of self like a tidal wave, she was humbled by it, scared as well.
Then light shone through the veil of despair shrouding her. A single feeling, warm and fuzzy to the touch. It bathed her in it's intensity as the golden light caressed her skin. She barely felt the torrent of tears that gushed down her cheeks in rapture. The feeling was like no other she had even imagined. Suddenly a brief word flashed past her awareness naming the feeling: Love.
It happened like a flash of lightning, and she knew it was only a bit of Crichton's life, his essence, but just as fast as it came, it left. For Aeryn though, it had felt like an eternity. Before she crashed to the floor, the last thing that registered was a figure soaring through the air like a wraith as it belted into Zhaan's side and knocked her down. Feeling drained and weak Aeryn looked up at the shadow.
"Leave her alone! My memories are my own!" shouted John angrily as he picked himself up off the floor.
"I'm sorry," Zhaan repeated on her knees as she wept.
The blue priestess suddenly fainted and swooned to the deck, most likely due to exhaustion. John gingerly picked her up and placed her upon a cot gently. Kissing her forehead he placed her hand in his and squeezed. Mouthing a silent prayer covered her in blankets protectively. Then he walked over to Aeryn's limp form. Lifting her up, he walked out of the room in order to put her in her quarters.
"Was it like that?" Aeryn asked grief stricken.
John nodded. "It was like that, and there's probably a lot more you didn't see or feelings you didn't experience. You got the six-second teaser trailer, which is not very enlightening. You know, there were good moments too. It wasn't all bad. Well, mostly bad towards the end. The beginning was alright, though. Some memories I'd never forget, nor would want to forget . ever."
Aeryn's tear stained eyes looked up at him. "I'm sorry," she whispered. She too vowed never to forget the good feeling she had seen, the love, for her.
John looked at her in mock horror. "Oh my god, what is that, like three times in one day? God, you've probably never even apologized to me once before." A hearty grin played against his features. "Fugetaboutit," John said in his lousiest Italian accent. What did it matter? Like an alien would know the difference between a good or bad accent.
A slow smile spread across Aeryn's lips at John's odd new way of pronunciation. "What's changed? When you first arrived, you were all dark and brooding, but now you're different. What happened?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I realized there's no point going the rest of my life upset and feeling like I got stiffed. I have to make do with what I got left, and I still got my looks, my charm, and my winning attitude," Crichton answered, wiggling his eyebrows. Aeryn looked at him incredulously. "And," he added reluctantly, "Someone helped me remember who I was, who I am, and where I came from." Aeryn wasn't sure, she knew him better. He might only be wearing one of many masks he had to learn in order to survive out here.
"And who are you?"
"Isn't it obvious? I'm Dracula and I came to suck your blood," John announced in another bad accent.
Aeryn rolled her eyes, though she probably would've hit him if she had the strength to move her arms.
John reached the door to her room. Opening it, he walked inside with Aeryn cradled in his arms. Delicately, he laid her on the bed. He then gently covered her with blankets, with the utmost precision. He kneeled next to her exhausted body and looked into her eyes. "I'm sorry you had to witness that. Zhaan had no right.," he trailed off. "Good night, Sunshine." Tenderly he kissed her on the forehead, then hastily stood up and walked towards the door.
"John please don't go. Don't leave me alone tonight. Stay with me," Aeryn pleaded.
John dropped his head and stopped dead. "I can't," he whispered softly. Swiftly, he walked out of the room. Aeryn closed her eyes sadly; why would he want to be with such an evil person like her? She soon drifted off to a sensation less slumber. She couldn't see the tear that ran down his cheek.
"That was foolish of you, Johnny. What you wanted was practically thrown at your feet. How could you turn it down?"
Crichton sighed. "Harv, I thought you understood me by now. I'd only end up hurting her in the end. You know that. It wouldn't be fair. And don't call me Johnny!" Harvey walked out from a corner looking like a character from Pulp Fiction. "Dear god, what next, the frelling gimp?" he muttered to himself.
"John, John, John," Harvey chided. "When did the universe start playing fair? Come on; grow up! You should take the little happiness that's presented to you."
"Harv, you know me better than that. I couldn't live with myself if I hurt her like that."
Straightening his tie and removing his shades, Harvey looked at him coldly. "That thought didn't seem to stop her."
John winced. "Hey man, low blow. Above the belt, please. I'm sorry; I'm just not that type of person. This conversation is over."
"Pilot we need to stop at a commerce planet soon, so keep a lookout for one."
"Of course." Pilot answered. Gilina strode out of the den, heading for hers and John's quarters. It was getting fairly late. The faint sound of humming caught her attention. Turning about, she saw Crichton stride into the den humming a tune she'd caught him humming before. Something about 1812 or something like that. She was about to go after John, but then she noticed his haggard appearance. This was obviously the other Crichton. His eyes were bloodshot, bags and dark circles underneath. Apparently he hadn't slept much lately.
He began to speak. "Yo Pilot!"
The large grey creature looked up at him. "Good evening Commander, is there something I can do for you?"
John rubbed his hands together. Gilina noticed his arms were filthy with some sort of black dirt or liquid. Sweat glistened on his skin. It was probably from working on the Farscape. "Actually, Pilot, yeah. Could you find an uninhabited planet, with vegetation, water, extremely pleasant -- you know, something like my home?"
Pilot looked unsure for a moment, but promptly nodded. "I understand, and I will try." He shrugged it off as homesickness but as Pilot he would endeavour to find something that would suit John.
The human clapped his hands together. "Thanks Pilot, you have no idea how much this means to me. Good night."
"You're welcome, and good night to you as well, Commander."
Gilina walked off trying not to be seen. 'A planet like his home? Why?' she wondered. Filing it away for another time, she headed for her quarters.