Author's Note: I don't know what's wrong with me... School is starting up in roughly two weeks and I still have a load of work to do... Including reading a couple thousand pages all together... Argh! And all I can seem to do is sit here and randomly think of horrible plots to write into this fic! Grr. Just... Grr.

P.S.: I'm not getting the reviews that I require to keep teetering on this side of sanity-- Do you really wanna be the one who pushed me over?!

P.P.S.: Please at least look at "Vengeance Is Thy Name." I don't need much feedback for a pile of EXPLICATIVE DELETE like this, but something like that I could use all the help you could spare! Keep that in mind, wouldja? Yeah, you're a real pal.



Dedication: To all those with non-sucky Post-Grave, Season 7 fics going on right now...

Ha! Who am -I- kidding?!

;P

...

Actually, the real dedication goes out to

SasheGrey-- may I always make you laugh out loud at work when you're trying to be discreet!

Part VII: The More Things Change...

The cave was dark. There was no light in the cave, making it a dark, dark hole. A hole which very much resembled... A cave. In fact, you might even be able to say that there was *darkness* in the *cave*. Yes, that sounds about right.

Two yellow eyes were all that glowed in that DARK CAVE... And they glowed with obvious malicious intent. A feral growl rumbled through the cave of darkness, followed by a British voice.

"I'ma gonna get that SLAY-era!" Wait... That's more like a stereotypical Italian voice. Hang on...

"That litt'l bit of Slayer's gonna get what she `as comin' tah `er." There we go. Over-stressed British accent. *Perfect.* The voice and eyes lit a match with their matching hands and in that moment of LIGHT, the features of a peroxided vampire revealed themselves to the trembling audience.

TREMBLING AUDIENCE: *Collective gasp!*

************************************************************

Back at Xander's apartment, Rolando and Xander were both gaping at Buffy-- BECAUSE SHE WAS SUDDENLY NAKED! ... Er, no. Because of her surprising confession.

"You're... You're... You're..."

"I'm... I'm... I'm...? What?"

"PREGNANT?!" Again with the Rolando and Xander si-mul-tan-e-ous-ly thing. Buffy blinked.

"Uh... No? What gave you that crazy idea? It's not like I've been sleeping with anyone *human* recently."

Now everyone was confused. Rolando thought he should try to reason this one out.

"But, love, you just said that you were... You know..." he lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper, "Pregnant." Buffy blinked-- again. Like a fish. (Teehee guys, I wish everyone reading this could see my really cool fish face! I suck in my cheeks and pretend that my hands are fins and I wiggle them around by my ears while I cross my eyes... It's SOOOO hilarious!!!)

"Oh. Right. That... No, I was just trying to help out the author. You see, she was starting to run out of good cliffhanger endings. And I always end up being pregnant sometime or another so I decided to try out how saying it felt. It didn't feel too good, actually, so I don't think I'll be saying it again. That or 'I did come back wrong... WITH A BUN IN THE OVEN!!!' That sucks too."

Nods all around. Ok, crisis averted. Onto the next one.

Rolando prodded Xander. "Hey, whelp... Aren't you supposed to be drunk? You're doing a bloody awful job of it. Bollocksing it all up, like a right poofter." Suddenly, Rolando seemed to run out of British slang... Funny, he hadn't even used that much... *Gasp!* Maybe he's not even British!!

Xander nodded sagely. "Yes. Yes I am." He threw himself back against the couch and began to mumble incoherently again. Rolando nodded, looking assuaged.

TBC.... TEEHEEEHEEEHEEEEE!!

************************************************************

A/N: Who is the mysterious blonde-haired British vampire in the dark cave?! Why is Xander drunk?! Find out in the next edition of my AWESOME fic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Author's Note: I usually do two parts to each chapter, but I wasn't feeling very inspired to do so. After all, this IS my fourth chapter with in a couple of hours. Gimme some credit here... Oh, and feedback. Gimme some feedback.