Author's Note: Yes, I know, I'm sure you all have been DYING to read the rest of this scintillating tale. Don't deny it, it's no use.

So without further ado, I bring to you... My silly story.

Part IX: Enter the Understudy

The night was dark. Dark was the night. The night resembled darkness, because it WAS dark. And evil was afoot...

*Please, note the large foot. It's a-foot. HA!*

The Spike-Alike was strolling through the graveyard where the REAL Spike's crypt was. He stopped and sniffed the air. As he couldn't smell any Nancy Boy Hair Gel, the Spike-Alike assumed that the REAL Spike wasn't at home.

And thankfully... His assumption was right.

(Because we all know the saying: Assume makes an ASS out of U and ME.)

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Buffy lifted her foot to kick down Spike's crypt's door... But seeing as how the show's set manager hadn't found the time to repair the set after the first fiasco, the door was still on the ground. Buffy set her foot down and proceeded to carefully place one in front of the other.

"Left, right. Left, right. Left, right. Left, left-- WAIT!" Buffy mumbled to herself, trying to coach herself through walking. It's a very thought-involved process, you know.

"SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE?" she whispered, which came out more as a yell. When you're concentrating so hard on walking, it's hard to focus on other things.

"ARE YOU HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME?" Damn that yelling. It reberberated... Reverburated... REVERBERATED off the stone walls and drifted down to the lower level where Buffy heard a low growl.

"Ooh! Kinky!" She ran downstairs.

But something was terribly, TERRIBLY, wrong.

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"Boofay?" Spike walked into her house, calling her name. Or, at least, the phonetic sounding of her name.

"Are you home? It's time for patrolling. Remember? Wednesday night? I provide the gratuitous sex and you provide the ultimate bitch-routine and we go out and slay vampires together? Remember? It was a date!"

And the silence was deafening. Suddenly, he was frightened. On a hunch, he sprinted back to his crypt.

But something was terribly, TERRIBLY wrong.



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A/N: Phew! That was kinda difficult. Sorry to all my fans that I had to take a couple weeks off from this story. I really just had to sit down and say to myself, "Self, where are we going with this?" Ya know? But now I'm back and badder than ever!! YEAH!!

Part X: I Bent My Wookie!

Spike stopped and caught his breath outside of his crypt. You may think that it's superfluous to have a vampire needing to breathe, but what about James Marsters? Damnit, he's still human!!

At the sounds of a struggle wafting up from his lower level (Not THAT kind of lower level... Geeze, get your mind out of the gutter, folks!), he ran into his crypt.

After sliding down the fireman's pole that he had installed in place of the ladder, Spike spied with his little eye something horrify...ing. It was Buffy... WHO HAD JUST BEEN TURNED INTO A VAMPIRE BY HIS SPIKE-ALIKE THAT HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW EXISTED! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

::gasps for air and then after seeing Vampire!Buffy! again...::

...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

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A/N: I hope I can keep surprising you guys!! Teehee!!

Author's Note: It's weird. I've been back in school for a couple of weeks and I really think it's grounded me more.. I don't feel so strangeness-inclined anymore. Something MUST be wrong with me... I also don't have the time to stay up until 1:00 in the morning just to write a crappy-ass-parody-fic. Feh.