Author's Note: It's back! Back by popular (ok, so one person IS considered popular... even if it IS myself...) demand. I'm sick right now and not with so much of the lucidity...Lucidness...Both apparently are words, seeing as how my handy-dandy spell-check hasn't underlined them yet...

So, ahem, yes. And awaaaay we go!

A/N: Mmkay! So I've decided to change my life-long dream into being a screenplay writer, so now I'm gonna write in script form! And.... GO!

Part XI: Double Your Pleasure...

ROLANDO: (done with the "NOOOOO's) What the BLOODY HELL is going on here?! You can't just come into people's crypts, willy-nilly, and go around making new vampires, ALSO willy-nilly! It's BLEEDING America, for St. Cripsin's sake! I'm sure you need a warrant or permit or SOMETHING!

SPIKE-ALIKE: Der...?

VAMP-BUFFY: Grr... Arrgh...

ROLANDO and SPIKE-ALIKE: Shuddup!!

::A tussle ensues that you, as the reader, are not privy to as it is the director's job to envision this part. It's a SCREENPLAY folks, THINK SCREENPLAY!::

SPIKE-ALIKE: ::gasping for air which he so desperately does NOT need:: You've got me, mate! You're the victor. I concede. Just let me up for a moment to go get my white surrender flag...

ROLANDO: Uh, well, sure...

SPIKE-ALIKE: Ha-HA! I KNEW I was stupid! (A/N: Must be pronounced "Stewww-pid")

::Spike-alike is suddenly beheaded by Vamp-Buffy whilst he attempts to fool Rolando::

ROLANDO: ::gaping:: Der... What... Er... Huh?... Bler... Who?... Mer?

VAMP-BUFFY: ::flips her bottle-blonde hair with her bottle-brown roots::

ROLANDO: Whadja do that fer? He was your SIRE, man, your YODA!

VAMP-BUFFY: Silly Sp--Rolando... I'm not a vampire.

ROLANDO: ::points to bumpies::

VAMP-BUFFY: Oh, those? No, I've just been having an acne problem recently. You know, too much stress being a guidance-counselor at the school and all.

ROLANDO: Oh! So that Retinae-Micro WASN'T hemorrhoid cream! ::comprehension dawning::

NOT-SO-VAMPY-VAMP-BUFFY: Right, big boy... Hm... Big Boy...

*************************CENSORED****************************

POST-COITAL ROLANDO: Hey, we never stopped to think who that creepy Me-Alike guy was before you so hastily slayededed him... ::gets so lost in thought that he forgets to come back::

POST-COITAL BUFFY: Sure I did. He was the evil side of you that got extracted from you when you got your soul back... You know, all that stuff about there needing to be balance in the world... Yin and yang, Sunny and Cher... YOU know...

POST-COITAL ROLANDO: Wait a tick... So that would mean that we've just UNBALANCED THE WORLD?!?!

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A/N: Oooh, I -AM- the master (mistress) of suspense! YES! Go me!!

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Part XII: And It All Comes Crashing Down

Suddenly, the newly-unbalanced world began to wildly tip out of its orbit and shot straight for the sun, a liquid ball of DEATH AND MELTY-DOOM!! THE HORRORS, THE HORRORS, THE HOOOOOORRORS!

...

And they all lived happily after.

Fin.

Author's Note: That about wraps it up. I'd like to say I hoped you enjoy, but frankly, I just don't give a EXPLICATIVE DELETE!

EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE EXPLICATIVE DELETE

Oh EXPLICATIVE DELETE! Not again!!!