Harry Potter's Full Name: The 3rd Chapter to "Harry Potter and Voldemort's
Attack"
Sorry for not having a disclaimer on the previous chapters...but here it is...
Disclaimer: I don't own the HP characters...but I can torture them in this fic! Mwahahahaha Daniel!
~*~*~*~
Harry, like we said, was going to be turned into a schizophrenic turkey, which he did. The other turkey inside his brain was still alive and brought everyone back to life.
"Harold Potter!" Professor McGonagall called, "Fuck my chicken!"
Harold Potter ran away and bumped into people wearing llama masks. "Mwahahahahaha Daniel!" It was the same 3 American girls.
"I'm not Daniel! I'm Pretty Pretty Princess Harold Potter!" Harold yelled.
The American girls did the llama dance and flew away on their magical purple and pink, fluffy Tyrannosaurs.
He continued to run, until he bumped into Sponge Bob Square Pants, who was wearing an evil lunchbox. "Do you know where my pineapple is? I need to take a crap!"
Harold knew where it was, but wouldn't tell Sponge Bob, because it was up his butt. Sponge Bob began to cry, then met up with Malfoy who screamed, "Oh boy! Your sponginess turns me on! Yo be hot!"
Then Sponge Bob and Malfoy left together, skipping and singing to "Hakuna Matatta".
Harold was sad. His baby daddy left him for a sponge.
Then Dobby came. "Sir! Yo is up in my crib!"
"No I is not fo' cheesy!" Harold Potter said, "This be my crib!"
Dobby began to cry.
"What Dobby?" Harold asked while Dumbledore did the Tango with Snape.
Dobby's eyes darted around as if he just got high off pretzels earlier. Then he said in a quiet whisper, "The puffins..." he fainted.
"The puffins what?" Harold asked, then screamed like a little girl because he had puffinphobia.
Dobby became conscious again, because a herd of llamas stampeded him, then he said, "Dobby's pet puffin ate Voldemort's magical chicken driving Voldemort to evil insanity, sir. Not only did he turn several muggles into menacing kindergarten penguins, he actually stole a magical chicken from a girl's locker...and Harold's parents, sir..."
"What about my parents?" Harold asked. Suddenly Brittany Spears popped up and began to sing "Oops I did it Again", but an angry mob chased her away.
"Your parents, sir...turned into...Arabian llamas," Dobby said dramatically. Then Dobby took a jackhammer and began hitting his head with it. "BAD DOBBY!!!" he yelled.
For the second time in 1.7239WPX minutes he screamed like a little girl. If his parents were turned into Arabian llamas, and Ron rapes Arabian llamas...then...
"NOOOO!!!" Harold screamed. Completely grossed out, he ran into Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. She was singing. "Everybody hates me because I'm a big, ugly, stupid, retarded fag!! Fag! Fag! Fag!" Then she saw Harold.
"Hello hottie!! Grrr!" she said, then did the llama dance and went down her toilet.
Hermione came out and said, "Harold! You have to see what I've found! It's splendiferous!"
He saw a hole. It was dark and made ogooblah sounds. Harold recognized what hole it was.
"The Ghettoness Hole, when you fall in, you become ghetto," Harold said.
Hermione looked stunned. She dropped her books.
"What?" Harold asked.
"I'M SUPPOSED TO KNOW EVERYTHING!!!" Hermione cried. She fell to the ground and began to pound her hands and feet on the ground. Then she fell down the hole. Harold followed her and turned into a rabid goldfish, but changed back into his llama like self.
They went down the hole, getting more ghetto by the second. Then they landed.
"Shoo! Yo be trippin' fo' sho' Harold!" Hermione yelled.
They saw the purple penguins again, and again they said, "Follow the Yellow Brick Road!" And they did. All of the sudden they got to an ugly 3 story middle school with red, blue, and lime green lockers. There were a whole bunch of ghetto people speaking in an American accent.
Harold and Hermione began walking down a hallway, while spontaneously combusting mongooses tap danced on their faces.
Soon afterwards they bumped into an afro, yes, an afro that took up the whole hallway. Since there was no way around, they decided to travel through the mass of hair.
In the afro they bumped into Ron who was with...AN ARABIAN LLAMA! "Hermione, close your eyes!" Harold warned, but was too late. "I'M SCARRED FOR LIFE!!!" she screamed like a penguinphobic pair of llama pants.
They ran from Ron and his llama, and finally bumped into the owner of the afro. She (SHE?!) said, "Mwahahahaha Daniel!" and laughed like a chicken with chickenphobia.
Harold and Hermione got scared and frolicked out of the afro, while doing the llama dance to random Disney songs.
While running down the hall they ran into Dobby. He said in a ghetto Norwegian accent, "Sir! He is attacking!"
"Who is attacking?" Harold asked like an Australian polar bear wearing a bikini.
"Bob the Builder!" Dobby said, then shrieked, banging his head into a nearby electrical socket.
Hermione looked worried, "He's one of my baby daddies, I can't let him do this!"
"Hermione's right! We must stop him!" Harold exclaimed turning into a fat, radioactive, rabid parakeet, but soon turned back into his llama like self.
They ran down the hallway and soon ran into Bob the Builder himself. He pointed to Harold and said, "You ARE my baby daddy!!!! I want my child support!"
Harold, Hermione, and Dobby were scared, but found out that there was no escape. Bob's evil schizophrenic llama minions surrounded them, armed with rabid goldfish.
"Oh no!" Hermione said, "Bob! Please don't do this!"
Bob peered at Hermione, "Oh...you're one of my baby mommies, right?"
Hermione nodded.
Bob thought for a second, then said cheerfully, "Okay! I won't!" and he and his minions skipped away singing "Hakuna Matatta" while spontaneously combusting every .328047 seconds.
Harold, Hermione, and Dobby were relieved and started walking down the hall as if that never happened.
On their way down the hall Voldemort popped up. He was tap dancing to the llama dance with Neville Longbottoms. In his right hand he had...THE MAGIC CHICKEN!
Harold tried to grab it, but wasn't quick enough. Voldemort laughed like a demon llama and spontaneously combusted twice before killing everyone, except Neville, who happened to be one of his baby daddies...
~*~*~*~
Theunrightharrypottertim: Mwahahahaha Daniel! They died again...how will they come back to life this time...? MAYBE THEY WON'T! DIE UNPUFFINISH PEOPLE!!!
Sorry for not having a disclaimer on the previous chapters...but here it is...
Disclaimer: I don't own the HP characters...but I can torture them in this fic! Mwahahahaha Daniel!
~*~*~*~
Harry, like we said, was going to be turned into a schizophrenic turkey, which he did. The other turkey inside his brain was still alive and brought everyone back to life.
"Harold Potter!" Professor McGonagall called, "Fuck my chicken!"
Harold Potter ran away and bumped into people wearing llama masks. "Mwahahahahaha Daniel!" It was the same 3 American girls.
"I'm not Daniel! I'm Pretty Pretty Princess Harold Potter!" Harold yelled.
The American girls did the llama dance and flew away on their magical purple and pink, fluffy Tyrannosaurs.
He continued to run, until he bumped into Sponge Bob Square Pants, who was wearing an evil lunchbox. "Do you know where my pineapple is? I need to take a crap!"
Harold knew where it was, but wouldn't tell Sponge Bob, because it was up his butt. Sponge Bob began to cry, then met up with Malfoy who screamed, "Oh boy! Your sponginess turns me on! Yo be hot!"
Then Sponge Bob and Malfoy left together, skipping and singing to "Hakuna Matatta".
Harold was sad. His baby daddy left him for a sponge.
Then Dobby came. "Sir! Yo is up in my crib!"
"No I is not fo' cheesy!" Harold Potter said, "This be my crib!"
Dobby began to cry.
"What Dobby?" Harold asked while Dumbledore did the Tango with Snape.
Dobby's eyes darted around as if he just got high off pretzels earlier. Then he said in a quiet whisper, "The puffins..." he fainted.
"The puffins what?" Harold asked, then screamed like a little girl because he had puffinphobia.
Dobby became conscious again, because a herd of llamas stampeded him, then he said, "Dobby's pet puffin ate Voldemort's magical chicken driving Voldemort to evil insanity, sir. Not only did he turn several muggles into menacing kindergarten penguins, he actually stole a magical chicken from a girl's locker...and Harold's parents, sir..."
"What about my parents?" Harold asked. Suddenly Brittany Spears popped up and began to sing "Oops I did it Again", but an angry mob chased her away.
"Your parents, sir...turned into...Arabian llamas," Dobby said dramatically. Then Dobby took a jackhammer and began hitting his head with it. "BAD DOBBY!!!" he yelled.
For the second time in 1.7239WPX minutes he screamed like a little girl. If his parents were turned into Arabian llamas, and Ron rapes Arabian llamas...then...
"NOOOO!!!" Harold screamed. Completely grossed out, he ran into Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. She was singing. "Everybody hates me because I'm a big, ugly, stupid, retarded fag!! Fag! Fag! Fag!" Then she saw Harold.
"Hello hottie!! Grrr!" she said, then did the llama dance and went down her toilet.
Hermione came out and said, "Harold! You have to see what I've found! It's splendiferous!"
He saw a hole. It was dark and made ogooblah sounds. Harold recognized what hole it was.
"The Ghettoness Hole, when you fall in, you become ghetto," Harold said.
Hermione looked stunned. She dropped her books.
"What?" Harold asked.
"I'M SUPPOSED TO KNOW EVERYTHING!!!" Hermione cried. She fell to the ground and began to pound her hands and feet on the ground. Then she fell down the hole. Harold followed her and turned into a rabid goldfish, but changed back into his llama like self.
They went down the hole, getting more ghetto by the second. Then they landed.
"Shoo! Yo be trippin' fo' sho' Harold!" Hermione yelled.
They saw the purple penguins again, and again they said, "Follow the Yellow Brick Road!" And they did. All of the sudden they got to an ugly 3 story middle school with red, blue, and lime green lockers. There were a whole bunch of ghetto people speaking in an American accent.
Harold and Hermione began walking down a hallway, while spontaneously combusting mongooses tap danced on their faces.
Soon afterwards they bumped into an afro, yes, an afro that took up the whole hallway. Since there was no way around, they decided to travel through the mass of hair.
In the afro they bumped into Ron who was with...AN ARABIAN LLAMA! "Hermione, close your eyes!" Harold warned, but was too late. "I'M SCARRED FOR LIFE!!!" she screamed like a penguinphobic pair of llama pants.
They ran from Ron and his llama, and finally bumped into the owner of the afro. She (SHE?!) said, "Mwahahahaha Daniel!" and laughed like a chicken with chickenphobia.
Harold and Hermione got scared and frolicked out of the afro, while doing the llama dance to random Disney songs.
While running down the hall they ran into Dobby. He said in a ghetto Norwegian accent, "Sir! He is attacking!"
"Who is attacking?" Harold asked like an Australian polar bear wearing a bikini.
"Bob the Builder!" Dobby said, then shrieked, banging his head into a nearby electrical socket.
Hermione looked worried, "He's one of my baby daddies, I can't let him do this!"
"Hermione's right! We must stop him!" Harold exclaimed turning into a fat, radioactive, rabid parakeet, but soon turned back into his llama like self.
They ran down the hallway and soon ran into Bob the Builder himself. He pointed to Harold and said, "You ARE my baby daddy!!!! I want my child support!"
Harold, Hermione, and Dobby were scared, but found out that there was no escape. Bob's evil schizophrenic llama minions surrounded them, armed with rabid goldfish.
"Oh no!" Hermione said, "Bob! Please don't do this!"
Bob peered at Hermione, "Oh...you're one of my baby mommies, right?"
Hermione nodded.
Bob thought for a second, then said cheerfully, "Okay! I won't!" and he and his minions skipped away singing "Hakuna Matatta" while spontaneously combusting every .328047 seconds.
Harold, Hermione, and Dobby were relieved and started walking down the hall as if that never happened.
On their way down the hall Voldemort popped up. He was tap dancing to the llama dance with Neville Longbottoms. In his right hand he had...THE MAGIC CHICKEN!
Harold tried to grab it, but wasn't quick enough. Voldemort laughed like a demon llama and spontaneously combusted twice before killing everyone, except Neville, who happened to be one of his baby daddies...
~*~*~*~
Theunrightharrypottertim: Mwahahahaha Daniel! They died again...how will they come back to life this time...? MAYBE THEY WON'T! DIE UNPUFFINISH PEOPLE!!!