~*~ Chapter Three: Stupid (EEEH) Door!!! ~*~
Outside the bathroom…
Yuffie: They ain't there…
Tifa: They ain't there?
Yuffie: Nope! (Sits in front of the door)
Cloud: (Walks in) Hey Yuffie!
Yuffie: Hey Cloud… What happened to your hair?
Cloud: It's raining outside… it kinda like… y'know… got wet. Is Tiff done yet?
Yuffie: Nope… Tiff! Cloud's out here.
Tifa: Hey Cloud!
Cloud: Hiya Tiff! Done yet? I need to fix my hair.
Tifa: Uhm… Cloud?
Cloud: Yeah?
Tifa: The door's kinda… sorta… um… stuck?
Cloud: Huh? Whatcha talking about?!
Tifa: I'm talking about the stuck door. What can't you understand there?
Cloud: The stuck part.
Tifa: Cloud if I was out there you would so be dead by now.
Cloud: (Grins sheepishly) Okay… okay. Lemme see that. (Turns the knob) Hey, you're right… It is stuck.
Tifa: (Sweatdrops) No duh, brainiac…
Cloud: Why don't you use a key?
Yuffie: Cloud! You dolt! The damn door doesn't have a gatdern freakin' keyhole. (Shouting in Cloud's ear) You do you think we could bust into the darn extras houses throughout the whole duration of the game?
Cloud: Wha? I can't hear you. All I hear is constant ringing of bells and… things…
Yuffie: (Punches Cloud in the face) You stupid, stupid gatdern idiot! Aren't you gonna help Tifa?! Or do I have to hang you from the ceiling using your gatdern nads before you decide to do even a small gatdern thing?! (Beats Cloud to a pulp)
Cloud: (Takes out Ultima) Alright already! Don't make me use this on you or I will so slice you up!
Yuffie: (Shuts up and clampers to a corner) Meanie!
Cloud: Good! I'm glad we could come into good terms peacefully. (Sheaths Ultima)
Yuffie: You're mean! And you're abusing me too…! (Get ready to shout) CHILD ABUSE!
Cloud: What the hell? Shut up Yuffie!
Yuffie: Child Abuse! Help me!
Cloud: Whoa, hold it! Keep it down Yuff! (Shouts) SHUT UP!
Yuffie: (Becomes quiet and stares at Cloud)
Cloud: (Sighs)
Yuffie: WAH! (Grabs Conformer from behind and chucks the thing at Cloud)
Cloud: (Eyes grow as big as plates) Holy Sh--!!! (Conformer misses his face by two inches) WTF?! Why did you just do that you gatdern half-pint?
Yuffie: (Stares with huge eyes and is silent)
Cloud: Yo! Ninja Freak! Aren't you listening to me?
Yuffie: (Snickers) Dude!
Cloud: (Walks toward Yuffie and grabs her shoulders) What? What is it? What the hell are you laughing at?
Yuffie: (Wriggles out of Cloud's grip and rolls on the floor laughing) Dude! (Clutches her sides) I can't believe what you have just done dude!
Cloud: (Stares at Yuffie, blinking hysterically) Huh? What did I just do? What can't you believe I just did?
Yuffie: (still on the floor, laughing) You… he, he, he… you… ha, ha… you… (Points at Cloud's pants) I can't believe that you just wet your pants, dude!
Cloud: Huh?
Yuffie: (Laughing) I said… you… ha, ha, ha… you… *gasp* WET YOUR PANTS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Cloud: (Face-faults and turns his head down) Oh, Sh*t! (Face turns really red)
Tifa: I know that I have been quiet for the past five minutes but I couldn't help but wonder…but… what is happening out there?
Yuffie: Hey Tifa?! (Laughs) Your "boyfriend" just wet his pants!
Tifa: What?! Cloud? Is what Yuffie says true? You wet your pants?
Cloud (Face turns redder) …uh…uh…uh…
Yuffie: Wait till the others hear about this! (Runs to the living room)
Cloud: Yuffie! Wait! Don't tell them… Dammit! (Stares at himself on a mirror) Man, I better change. (Starts to run but slips on a "puddle") Owch! What the hell? Oh man… (Finds out what he slipped on then runs to his room)
Tifa: Cloud! Don't leave yet! Cloud?
:: crickets ::
:: owl hoots ::
:: tumble weed rolls by with the wind ::
Tifa: I'm all alone again…
In the living room….
Yuffie: Yo guys!
Barret: Whatcho want?
Yuffie: What happened to Barret?
Nanaki: Too much TV.
Vincent: …
Yuffie: What happened to Cait Sith?
Nanaki: They dropped him into the pool with piranhas.
Vincent: …
Yuffie: Damn. I wish I could have seen that… What happened to Cid?
Nanaki: The last time that we saw him… he danced you the room "Teletubby" Style singing "Without Me."
Yuffie: "Teletubby style"? Should have seen that too… But, (giggles) wait till you hear this… (Rolls on the floor laughing again) Rather see this!
Nanaki: What happened to you?
Yuffie: (ROFLs)
Nanaki: What happened to her?
Vincent: … (shrugs)
Barret: Foo'
Vincent: …
Nanaki: (Lets out a paw) Nice to have you back Vincent.
Vincent: Glad to be back. (Takes Nanaki's paw and shakes it)
Yuffie: So y'know!
Nanaki: Know what?
Yuffie: CLOUD WET HIS PANTS!
Barret: No kiddin' foo'?
Yuffie: No joke!
Vincent: …
Nanaki: Really?
Yuffie: Really really!
Barret: Foo'! I gotta msee this foo'!
In Cloud's room…
Cloud: Damn that Yuffie! (Changes to jeans and t-shirt) That gatdern Conformer almost killed me! (Trudges back to the bathroom but happens to notice Cid in his room) What's Cid doin' in his room at this time of day? He only goes in there at nighttime to sleep. (Takes a peek)
Cid: (Is fixing an AK-47)
Cloud: Hey Cid! What's up?
Cid: (Cocks his gun) Stay back or I am gonna shoot!
Cloud: Whoa! (Raises his hands) Easy there!
Cid: Arr…
Cloud: Hey… we could use that gun y'know?
Cid: For what?
Cloud: You'll see…
Outside the bathroom…
Yuffie: They ain't there…
Tifa: They ain't there?
Yuffie: Nope! (Sits in front of the door)
Cloud: (Walks in) Hey Yuffie!
Yuffie: Hey Cloud… What happened to your hair?
Cloud: It's raining outside… it kinda like… y'know… got wet. Is Tiff done yet?
Yuffie: Nope… Tiff! Cloud's out here.
Tifa: Hey Cloud!
Cloud: Hiya Tiff! Done yet? I need to fix my hair.
Tifa: Uhm… Cloud?
Cloud: Yeah?
Tifa: The door's kinda… sorta… um… stuck?
Cloud: Huh? Whatcha talking about?!
Tifa: I'm talking about the stuck door. What can't you understand there?
Cloud: The stuck part.
Tifa: Cloud if I was out there you would so be dead by now.
Cloud: (Grins sheepishly) Okay… okay. Lemme see that. (Turns the knob) Hey, you're right… It is stuck.
Tifa: (Sweatdrops) No duh, brainiac…
Cloud: Why don't you use a key?
Yuffie: Cloud! You dolt! The damn door doesn't have a gatdern freakin' keyhole. (Shouting in Cloud's ear) You do you think we could bust into the darn extras houses throughout the whole duration of the game?
Cloud: Wha? I can't hear you. All I hear is constant ringing of bells and… things…
Yuffie: (Punches Cloud in the face) You stupid, stupid gatdern idiot! Aren't you gonna help Tifa?! Or do I have to hang you from the ceiling using your gatdern nads before you decide to do even a small gatdern thing?! (Beats Cloud to a pulp)
Cloud: (Takes out Ultima) Alright already! Don't make me use this on you or I will so slice you up!
Yuffie: (Shuts up and clampers to a corner) Meanie!
Cloud: Good! I'm glad we could come into good terms peacefully. (Sheaths Ultima)
Yuffie: You're mean! And you're abusing me too…! (Get ready to shout) CHILD ABUSE!
Cloud: What the hell? Shut up Yuffie!
Yuffie: Child Abuse! Help me!
Cloud: Whoa, hold it! Keep it down Yuff! (Shouts) SHUT UP!
Yuffie: (Becomes quiet and stares at Cloud)
Cloud: (Sighs)
Yuffie: WAH! (Grabs Conformer from behind and chucks the thing at Cloud)
Cloud: (Eyes grow as big as plates) Holy Sh--!!! (Conformer misses his face by two inches) WTF?! Why did you just do that you gatdern half-pint?
Yuffie: (Stares with huge eyes and is silent)
Cloud: Yo! Ninja Freak! Aren't you listening to me?
Yuffie: (Snickers) Dude!
Cloud: (Walks toward Yuffie and grabs her shoulders) What? What is it? What the hell are you laughing at?
Yuffie: (Wriggles out of Cloud's grip and rolls on the floor laughing) Dude! (Clutches her sides) I can't believe what you have just done dude!
Cloud: (Stares at Yuffie, blinking hysterically) Huh? What did I just do? What can't you believe I just did?
Yuffie: (still on the floor, laughing) You… he, he, he… you… ha, ha… you… (Points at Cloud's pants) I can't believe that you just wet your pants, dude!
Cloud: Huh?
Yuffie: (Laughing) I said… you… ha, ha, ha… you… *gasp* WET YOUR PANTS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Cloud: (Face-faults and turns his head down) Oh, Sh*t! (Face turns really red)
Tifa: I know that I have been quiet for the past five minutes but I couldn't help but wonder…but… what is happening out there?
Yuffie: Hey Tifa?! (Laughs) Your "boyfriend" just wet his pants!
Tifa: What?! Cloud? Is what Yuffie says true? You wet your pants?
Cloud (Face turns redder) …uh…uh…uh…
Yuffie: Wait till the others hear about this! (Runs to the living room)
Cloud: Yuffie! Wait! Don't tell them… Dammit! (Stares at himself on a mirror) Man, I better change. (Starts to run but slips on a "puddle") Owch! What the hell? Oh man… (Finds out what he slipped on then runs to his room)
Tifa: Cloud! Don't leave yet! Cloud?
:: crickets ::
:: owl hoots ::
:: tumble weed rolls by with the wind ::
Tifa: I'm all alone again…
In the living room….
Yuffie: Yo guys!
Barret: Whatcho want?
Yuffie: What happened to Barret?
Nanaki: Too much TV.
Vincent: …
Yuffie: What happened to Cait Sith?
Nanaki: They dropped him into the pool with piranhas.
Vincent: …
Yuffie: Damn. I wish I could have seen that… What happened to Cid?
Nanaki: The last time that we saw him… he danced you the room "Teletubby" Style singing "Without Me."
Yuffie: "Teletubby style"? Should have seen that too… But, (giggles) wait till you hear this… (Rolls on the floor laughing again) Rather see this!
Nanaki: What happened to you?
Yuffie: (ROFLs)
Nanaki: What happened to her?
Vincent: … (shrugs)
Barret: Foo'
Vincent: …
Nanaki: (Lets out a paw) Nice to have you back Vincent.
Vincent: Glad to be back. (Takes Nanaki's paw and shakes it)
Yuffie: So y'know!
Nanaki: Know what?
Yuffie: CLOUD WET HIS PANTS!
Barret: No kiddin' foo'?
Yuffie: No joke!
Vincent: …
Nanaki: Really?
Yuffie: Really really!
Barret: Foo'! I gotta msee this foo'!
In Cloud's room…
Cloud: Damn that Yuffie! (Changes to jeans and t-shirt) That gatdern Conformer almost killed me! (Trudges back to the bathroom but happens to notice Cid in his room) What's Cid doin' in his room at this time of day? He only goes in there at nighttime to sleep. (Takes a peek)
Cid: (Is fixing an AK-47)
Cloud: Hey Cid! What's up?
Cid: (Cocks his gun) Stay back or I am gonna shoot!
Cloud: Whoa! (Raises his hands) Easy there!
Cid: Arr…
Cloud: Hey… we could use that gun y'know?
Cid: For what?
Cloud: You'll see…