E/N: Okay, okay. sorry. I can't help it my parents dragged me on a two
month vacation that happened to be awesome. so here's your update. Sorry
for the delay. Answering Machine Messages will finally be updated sometime
soon when I finish the last bit, and I am proud to tell you that I've also
started a new fic called "It Only Happens In The Fanfic". Expect chap 1 to
be up somewhere this week. It's about. I'm not gonna tell yet, but I can
tell that it does not contain Mary Sue, Legolas romance or the One Ring,
but it's not an AU, it's post LotR. Enough crappy blabla's for now, on with
da fic!
Disclaimer: Do I have to confess to the whole world that they're not mine? Do I also have to confess that there's some stuff from the Silmarillion in here that I didn't write myself? I guess I do. The stuff about the other Glorfindel was written by Tolkien, not me.
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Chapter 10 - Shooting Éomer and kissing Glorfindel (the day people kept interrupting me)
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Day thirteen, the 19th of Halimath, 1384 (Shire Reckoning)
Valanya, the 40th of Yávië (Iavas), 2984 T.A. (Calendar of Imladris)
Dear diary,
I woke up this morning feeling lousy, once again cursing immortality. I was told once that an Elf can die of grief for a lost loved one, so why couldn't I do the same? I wanted to die, or get over Éomer and move on, but somehow neither one of the options would come to pass, and I was left alone feeling miserable. I turned around, didn't want to get up, I just wanted to stay in bed for the rest of eternity, alone with my sorrow. It took me 5 minutes to realize that it wouldn't work, so I got up and dressed.
I looked around the room. The others had all gotten up already. no, wait, Endomiel's bed hadn't been slept on. (pretty obvious since her usual pile of junk hadn't moved an inch on the bed since yesterday) so where the Mordor could she have been, and where was she now? Probably having breakfast or something. Ah well, it's none of my business where she hangs out at night.
I walked over to the mess, stopping in the doorway. I looked around the mess, and saw my friends having breakfast at a table nearby. There he was, talking, laughing with the others, as if nothing had happened, as if everything was still the same. But to me it wasn't, he would never be mine again, and I felt as if I could never be happy again.
I couldn't help but stare at him, his smile still had me under it's spell, still made my heart beat so much faster. Why couldn't it just fade away, this feeling of. hopelessness, being utterly lost. then he saw me, standing in the doorway, looking at him. He looked me in the eyes, and once again I felt the other spell taking a hold of me. His eyes were deep blue pools of kindness, but now also of. sadness? I was losing myself in his eyes, drowning in them, wanting to take the sadness away and replace it for happiness. I knew that I couldn't, and still I couldn't stop looking at him, trapped in his gaze.
Several heads turned to see what Éomer was staring at. They saw me standing in the doorway, then shrugged. "Éomer is staring at Elvea again, what else is new?" that's what their shrugs meant. I'll tell you what's new: we're not together and all hope of ever regaining the right to claim such thing was gone, unlike all other times he had stared at me and I at him. It was almost as if darkness started creeping into my heart, darkness and despair.
I looked away, couldn't take it any longer. I couldn't look at him anymore without knowing that it was completely over, that it would never heal. And I was a fool for even convincing myself that I could get over it when I couldn't, that was clear to me now. I turned around and started walking back to my room, knowing that I wouldn't be able to eat anyway, I wouldn't get a single thing through my throat. Somebody grabbed me by the arm, but carefully. My heart skipped a beat, was it him?
'Are you okay?' I turned around. Boromir was looking at me worriedly. Disappointment went through me for a moment, but I didn't let it show.
'I'm fine' I answered.
'Liar' he said accusingly. Somehow I got really annoyed, why wouldn't he just let me be alone with my sorrow?! I hit his hand away and continued walking to my room. Boromir followed me and grabbed my arm again, this time his grip was a lot firmer and I couldn't get myself loose easily, he was pretty damn strong, certainly for a mortal.
'LET GO!!!' I shouted.
'Not until I'm sure that you won't do anything stupid if I leave you alone!' he shouted back. Some people stared at us for a moment, then resumed doing whatever it was that they were doing.
'I just.' tears welled up in my eyes, words seemed to be stuck in my throat. The look in Boromir's eyes softened, and he let go of my arm. He placed his hand on my back and led me into my room, gesturing for me to sit down on a chair. I sat down on the chair that stood next to my bed, he sat down on the bed so that he was opposite of me. Neither of us spoke.
'It's Éomer, he.' I started after a while, looking down.
'What did the idiot do to you now?' Boromir said, brushing away a tear with his hand. I hadn't even noticed that tears were dripping down my face until he did that.
'He. he said that he had too much doubts, that. that it would we better if we'd just remain friends.' I whispered.
'What a moron' Boromir whispered. I looked up and looked him in the eyes, wondering what exactly he meant by that. He must have seen the question in my eyes because he started explaining. 'Well, you know. I mean uhm. first he's all like "stay away she's mine!" and then when he has what he wants he decides to just be friends in stead of receiving your love? That sounds pretty damn stupid if you ask me.'
'But he said he had doubts.'
'Doubts? About what? Did he tell you?'
'Not exactly, but-'
'He should've told you'
'Maybe he was afraid that he wasn't my only one'
'Was he your only one?' Boromir asked softly. Yes, the answer cried out inside me, he was the only one I truly loved, and I still do love him like that, there's nobody who can measure up to receiving that amount of love from me. Not even Boromir, although he deserves it so much more right now, he's so nice. I didn't want to hurt him again, because I know, no matter how careful I said it, I would hurt him.
'He still is.' I whispered. A flash of pain went through Boromir's eyes, very brief, but I noticed it, and felt guilty. His eyes had returned to the kind, friendly. caring look they had before the pain, and he placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.
'Then tell him'
'I don't think he'll listen'
'Maybe he'll listen to me'
'Do you think so?'
'Yeah, and if he won't, I'll just have Faramir stalk him until he does listen to you' he said. A swift smile went over my face, it was really sweet of him.
'That's the sweetest thing a guy's ever said to me'
'If that's true then those guys still have a lot to learn.'
'Thanks for doing this for me Boromir'
'I haven't done it yet'
'But you said it, despite. well, you know. That's really sweet, if I ever come up with something to thank you.'
'You don't have to, you're a friend, and I help my friends unconditionally. A real friend doesn't need a reward if he does a friend a favor' he stood up and walked to the door.
'Where are you going?'
'I'm going to look for that idiotic friend of mine'
'Thanks Boromir'
'No problem.' he said, even though his face now clearly showed that he felt lousy. He opened the door and left. Now what? I stood up and walked to the desk. On it lay an open book, History or something. It had a name in it that immediately drew my attention: Glorfindel.
"Glorfindel, Elf of Gondolin, who fell to his death in Cirith Thoronath in combat with a Balrog after the escape from the sack of the city." That was the introduction. I read on. "Many are the songs that have been sung on the duel of Glorfindel (chief of the House of the Golden Flower of Gondolin) with the Balrog upon the pinnacle of rock in that high place; and both fell to ruin in the abyss. But the eagles coming stooped upon the Orcs, and drove them shrieking back; all were slain or cast into the deeps, so that rumor of the escape from Gondolin came not until long after to Morgoth's ears. Then Thorondor bore up Glorfindel's body out of the abyss, and they buried him in a mound of stones beside the pass; and green turf came there, and yellow flowers bloomed upon it amid the barrenness of stone, until the world was changed." Well obviously this is about another Glorfindel, because our teacher unfortunately still terrorizes the school. Besides, he doesn't have an air of hero-ness hanging about him; he has an air of. ponciness.
'Isn't he great?' someone behind me asked. I turned around. Elanor was standing behind me, staring at the name in the book with a dreamy look in her eyes.
'Uhm, well. I wouldn't know, I never met him, I mean. he died during the First Age.'
'I mean our teacher.'
'Oh, that Glorfindel.' I said. Now how do I tell her in a subtle way that I hate the guy?
'Do you think his parents named him after the one from our History-book?' Elanor said before I could answer her previous question, thank Goddess. If they did name him after the first Glorfindel, they made a huge mistake. In my opinion anyway, but I wasn't going to tell Elanor that.
'I guess they did.' I answered. Elanor let out a sigh. The kind of sigh you do when you're totally swooning over someone.
'Do you have any idea how lucky you are?' she asked. Lucky? Me? So far my day's pretty damn miserable.
'What do you mean?'
'You got to dance with Glorfindel yesterday, I know quite a bunch of girls who'd loved to be you at that moment' Elanor said. Well where were they to bug Glorfindel when I needed to be rescued?!
'Including yourself, I suppose?' I asked, with a sharp undertone in my voice. Elanor's face turned beet red. How can she have a crush on Glorfindel?! I mean. Glorfindel!!! EEEEEEEEEEW.
'And you also get to spend a lot of extra time with him.' she whispered while her face turned back to its original color.
'You mean the detentions? I can come up with a whole list of things I'd rather do in my spare time.'
'Yeah, like making out with him in a closet' Elanor's eyes twinkled. EEEEEEEW!!! I can't believe she actually said that! YUCK!
'You did that?!'
'I wish.' she let out another one of those sighs.
'Keep wishing, he's married' I said bluntly. And I wanted to beat the crap out of myself right away for saying something stupid like that to her.
'He is?' Elanor's eyes grew big and sad. See? Me and my big mouth.
'Yeah, he is.'
'Who told you that?'
'He did.'
'Oh.'
'I'm sorry, I-'
'No, it's okay, really. At least I didn't make a fool out of myself yet by coming on to him or something.'
'Well I guess there's a positive side to it indeed'
'So thanks for telling me. Hey, I'll be out, so I'll see you around, okay?' she suddenly said and left the room before I could even blink. And I'm alone again.
I can't believe she has a crush on that guy. seriously, if I were his wife, I'd probably attempt suicide. But then again, I'd never marry him. I'd rather sleep with a band of Orcs than marry Glorfindel. The only way that I could ever end up married to that guy is by a forced marriage. I'm so glad he's already married.
I left the room too, I couldn't hide there from Éomer forever. I left the dormitory and followed a random path through the gardens until I came to a little stream. I sat down at its "shore" and started throwing pebbles into the water. After a while I heard footsteps coming up behind me. I turned my head and saw Arwen approaching. She sat down next to me.
'Are you okay?' she asked. Why do they keep asking me that?! Can't they see it's annoying me?! I am NOT doing fine!!! Is it that hard to understand?!
'I'm fine' I said as I fiercely threw a handful of pebbles into the stream.
'If it makes you feel better, Éomer's feeling pretty lousy too'
'I'm sure he is'
'I'm serious, after you left the mess this morning he hasn't said a single word, and he's been staring into nothing with a sad expression on his face ever since'
'Don't lie to me'
'I'm not lying'
'Why are you telling that anyway?'
'I think you should go talk to him'
'Don't tell me what to do, will you? I don't need you, nor Boromir, nor anybody else to tell me what to do! He wanted this himself, if he can't live with that it's really not my problem' I threw more pebbles into the water.
'I wouldn't be too sure about that'
'What do you mean by that?'
'You may not want to admit it, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that you're feeling lousy' Arwen said as she stood up.
'Where are you going?'
'I'm going back to our room'
'Oh, ok.'
I watched Arwen as she left, then I turned around and started throwing pebbles again for a while. After that I decided to get some lunch, because it was lunchtime already. As I walked to the mess, I saw Éomer and Faramir walking towards a table, laughing about something. I guess Arwen lied. sad expression, yeah right. I started feeling nauseous, so I walked back outside to get some air. This was bad, really bad. I started beating a tree- trunk to get rid of my frustration.
'Lady Aure, in my office, right now!' a familiar voice boomed. I turned around to see Gildor standing behind me. He started walking towards his office. Great, just what I needed, a lecture from Gildor. We entered his office and he turned around to face me.
'Lady Aure, I have been informed that you have a rare Elvish disease and that this disease may cause you to act strange. As your mentor I'm supposed to keep that in mind, and I also care about you. However, I cannot allow you to beat trees to pulp' Gildor started. I didn't beat it to pulp! Not yet anyway. 'Furthermore I think you should behave as a responsible person and certainly someone like you'
'But-'
'If you need to get rid of your anger or other emotions I'd like you to do that some place else, not on our trees. We have an entire gym where you can do those things. But that's not why I wanted to see you'
'It's not?'
'No. I just wanted to inform you that Galadriel and Elrond will be questioning the students about the incident yesterday, and that they need you to be in the mess in time'
'Oh, ok. is that all?'
'Almost. You may have noticed that teachers started calling you by titles such as Lady, maybe even Princess or something else. It probably is a bit odd to have such a change, and certainly because they're teachers. We've only been informed that those are the proper titles'
'Alright then, thank you for telling.'
'You may leave now' Gildor said. I turned around and started walking. 'Oh and Lady Aure?' I turned my head. 'Maybe you should just go talk to Éomer' he added with an understanding smile.
I left the room, seriously pissed. Does everybody in this school know what happened yesterday?! My frustration grew to a size beyond any measures. I guess Gildor was right about one thing: I should get rid of my anger. As I walked back to my room to get my bow and arrows I heard some people talking. My ears picked up the name "Endomiel", so I slowed down my pace to hear what they were saying. A couple of guys, seniors I think, were standing in a corner, talking about Endomiel.
'Did you hear what happened next?' one of them said.
'Well, as I was saying, she left the party with that guy, headed for a, like, quiet place.' another one said, resuming whatever he was telling.
'Go on.' a third one said.
'So they went to this place quiet, and they started kissing, like, really hard, and then she started stripping him of his clothes, like, really fast, and then.' he stopped to make the story extra exciting. I took up my old pace, knowing what part would be next. Although the story probably wasn't true, it did give an explanation of where she could have been last night.
I went to my room and got my bow and quiver. I counted my arrows, all fifteen I brought from home were there. After that I left the room again and headed for the gym. When I came there it was completely empty, except for the usual targets that the filled the archery-gym. I notched an arrow to my bowstring and aimed.
I imagined the target to be my misery, and shot. It was a direct hit. I notched another arrow to my bowstring, and imagined the target to be my sadness. Another hit. I kept shooting until I had shot nearly everything that was bothering me, hitting most of my targets straight in the center. I ran out of arrows for the second time, and started to recollect my arrows. It was then that I first felt someone watching me. I looked around, but I still was the only one in the gym.
I started shooting again, but with every time I shot, my aim got worse, until I couldn't even hit my target anymore. I sank to the ground, once again tired. I sat there for a while, resting, trying to get some breath. I stood up again after a couple of minutes and drew the last arrow from my quiver, to shoot the final thing that bothered me. I aimed at my target and closed my eyes, imagining that it was Éomer. I opened my eyes again, and right before I let go of the bowstring, I heard something behind me. My arrow nearly pierced Glorfindel.
'I. Am. So. Sorry!' I stammered as Glorfindel mentally recovered from my "attack".
'Uh, no. it's okay, I shouldn't have snuck up on you, so I'm sorry' he replied. Glorfindel, taking the blame? What's wrong with this picture?
'Are you okay?' I asked. Okay, so I don't like him, I'm still the Goddess of Good and being good includes caring.
'Yeah, I'm fine, no damage done, just my pride.' he answered. His pride, of course. what else? 'Gildor uhm. he told me that you'd probably be here and that you weren't really, well uhm. that you were pretty upset so he asked me to keep an eye on you, just in case.'
'So you were the one that was spying on me.'
'I wasn't spying on you, you were really concentrated and I didn't want to interrupt that, but then your aim got worse and.'
'.you decided to get yourself shot because you couldn't take it anymore' I said. Glorfindel started laughing. Glorfindel, laughing at one of my jokes, without giving me a detention? This picture isn't just wrong; it gives me the creeps.
'Something like that, yes.' he said as he stopped laughing. 'Actually I was watching your technique and I noticed it could use some improvement, so if you want help.'
I looked around the gym. Arrows lay on the floor everywhere, most of them nowhere near the targets they were supposed to be stuck in. Only three arrows had actually hit their target, none of them in the center. If I ever wanted to shoot Éomer I could probably use some help indeed.
'Uh, yeah. I'd like some help' I answered. And if you thought the picture couldn't get weirder, you were wrong. Not only did Glorfindel offer to help me and I accepted it, he also started to recollect my arrows for me.
'Okay, we'll start out easy.' He said when he had collected all of my arrows. He pointed at the nearest target and I turned to it. 'Let's see how you'd shoot that' he handed me an arrow. I notched it to my bowstring, aimed, shot and. missed by a mile.
'I don't think this is going to work' I said.
'Come on, don't give up that easily, I'm sure you can do it' Glorfindel answered as he handed me another arrow. 'Just try again' I shot again, and missed again.
'I told you I can't do it! I lost it.'
'Nobody just loses the ability to shoot. Something's just bothering you, that's all' And how exactly does he enter my mind? Or am I that obvious? Or maybe he too knows that I'm upset about the whole Éomer-thing. anyway, I still think that he's up to something, he has to be, why else would he be so nice?
'I just can't do it, okay?'
'Sure you can, just believe in yourself.' he handed me the third arrow. I notched it to the bowstring, hoping that I wouldn't fail miserably again. I missed.
'See, I can't do it.'
'Yes you can'
'Then what am I doing wrong?'
'Shoot again, but take your time, so I can see what it might be' Glorfindel said. How come he never has this kind of patience during class?! He handed me a new arrow.
I notched it to the string, making sure that I wasn't doing anything wrong. Then I aimed carefully until I was sure that I wouldn't miss. I let go of the bowstring, followed the arrow with my eyes and saw it hit the floor. I threw my bow and quiver down in frustration.
'I give up' I sighed and sank to the ground. Glorfindel sat down next to me and placed his hand on my shoulder.
'Don't do that Princess, I know you can do it, I believe in you, all you have to do is believe in yourself' somehow he actually managed to get through to me, and I decided to give it a last try. I got up and Glorfindel handed me my bow and an arrow.
'This is my final try, okay? If I can't do it now, then I'll quit' I said to him. He nodded. I prepared myself to shoot, notched the arrow, drew back the bowstring and aimed.
'Wait!' Glorfindel said just before I shot. I let my bow down. 'No, no. hold the pose. I just wanted to adjust it a little.'
'Oh.' I retook the pose. Glorfindel came standing right behind me. 'If you don't mind, I'll.' he started.
'Uh, no, uhm. go ahead.' I whispered. Tell me again, WHAT THE MORDOR AM I DOING?!!!
He took another step, his chest was now practically against my back. His left hand went over my shoulder and he placed it over mine. He placed his right hand on my other hand and let his head lean a bit on my left shoulder. He started to reposition my hands until they were in the right place. Then he started to reposition the fingers of my right hand until I held the arrow right.
He helped me aim at my target, all the time not saying a single word. I could feel his warm breath softly going past my cheek, felt the warmth of his body warming my own body, felt his heart beat at the same pace as mine. somehow this whole pose, the whole moment. it had an incredibly romantic undertone. And to be honest, I actually enjoyed it, felt safe, felt. comfortable. Dear God, please don't tell me I'm developing a crush on Glorfindel.
'Go ahead, just shoot, I know you can do it, I have faith in you.' he whispered in my ear. His breath tickled my ear, triggered something.
°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*° WHITE FLASH °*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°
I saw myself, standing in one of the gardens of our palace in Laurelindrian. I was talking to. Glorfindel.? But I couldn't hear what we were saying. Tears were dripping down my face, and Glorfindel tenderly brushed them away. He wrapped his arms around me and whispered something in my ear.
'I know you can do it, I have faith in you.' he whispered. I saw myself shaking my head, new tears running down my face. He kissed them away, then kissed me on the forehead and on my cheek. I looked him in the eyes, tears still welled up in them. He whispered something else and I smiled, then he kissed me on the mouth.
°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*° WHITE FLASH °*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°
I was back in the gym; Glorfindel's arms still where they had been before, actually, we hadn't moved a single inch. What the Mordor was the vision supposed to mean? Especially the last part, Glorfindel and me, kissing? Okay, that is definitely what I would call weird. Not just weird, completely gross! If my subconscience was trying to tell me something, then I don't want to know what it is.
'What are you waiting for?' Glorfindel whispered. As he did that, his lips practically touched my ear. I shuddered, we sure were standing close. 'Are you okay?' he asked as he noticed my shudder. Again, his lips nearly touched my ear, almost as if he had the intention to do that. AHA! I see his Diabolical Master Plan! He's trying to drive me crazy! I knew there had to be some kind of catch behind all the kindness.
'I'm just a little nervous, that's all.' I whispered back.
'You can do it, I'm right here with you' he whispered. Once again his lips nearly touched my ear as he said it, but this time he actually kissed my ear right after he spoke. It was a really short kiss, but it was a kiss, the touch wasn't an accident. And being honest again, I liked it. This is bad, this is sooooo bad. I felt his face flush. 'I'm so sorry, I'm- I didn't mean to- I shouldn't have- I uhm, I.' he stammered.
'No, don't worry about it, it's okay.' I whispered, and he let out a sigh of relief. It's okay? It's okay and I enjoyed it?! What the Mordor has gotten into me?!!!
'Ready to shoot?' he asked. I nodded slightly. 'On my count. Three. two. one.' We let go of the bowstring. Or actually, I let go of the bowstring and he let his hand move along with mine. The arrow hit the target. Not in the center, but it actually hit the target, which was a huge progress compared to before. I cheered softly.
'Care to try another one?' Glorfindel asked. Without waiting for me to answer he drew an arrow out of the quiver on his back. My quiver. Okay, when exactly did he pick up my quiver and put it on? How much have I been missing so far? This is even worse than I thought.
I took the arrow, and Glorfindel helped me find the right positions for my hands and fingers again. We aimed, we shot, we hit. Nothing more to say about it. Still no center, but it's a start. We kept on shooting like that until we had hit the center of the target a couple of times. While doing so, it was almost like we both knew what the other was going to do, our movements almost as if we were one person in stead of two. And the worst part is that I'm hardly complaining, even though the picture is so wrong. hello! He's married! Wait a sec, he's married? What kind of argument is that?! I hate him! I'm not supposed to say such things! More like: hello! He's a creep! I hate him! Or something like that.
'Now try one on your own' he said when we had a direct hit again.
'Do you think I can do it?'
'I know you can' he handed me an arrow and stepped back.
He walked to the side so he had a better view and he watched me notch the arrow to the bowstring, draw the string back and aim. I closed my eyes for a moment, once again imagining the target to be the final thing that haunted my mind: Éomer. I opened my eyes and shot. Direct hit. Glorfindel clapped and I cheered.
Impulsively I dropped my bow, ran to Glorfindel and flung my arms around his neck to embrace him. Before I knew it he had wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and we were standing there, in the gym, holding each other. Neither of us moved, I think we both liked the feeling. I think I liked it, being wrapped up in his arms. Maybe because I had missed it, missed Éomer, thought I would never feel anything like it again. Or maybe because. I don't want to think about it. I closed my eyes, noticing that he smelled pretty good.
'Glorfindel?'
'Hmmm?'
'What are we doing?' I said as I opened my eyes and came to senses.
'I don't know what we're doing, but I don't mind, do you?' he whispered. This is NOT supposed to happen!
'This is wrong, you know it.' I whispered in return.
'And what exactly would be wrong about all this?'
'You're married.'
'That doesn't mean I can't hug someone beside my wife.'
'You're my teacher.'
'Doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to emotionally support someone.'
'You're not doing that.'
'Aren't I? I'm pretty sure I just helped you get your self-esteem back, helped you get rid of your anger and now I'm showing you that the world isn't ending. Sounds like emotional support to me.'
'Well besides I. then I. I'll. I.'
'You what?'
'I hate you.' I stated dryly. An amused grin crept onto his face.
'Do you?' he said, still grinning. Do I? I wasn't really sure anymore. 'Well then.' he said as he started collecting my arrows and put them in my quiver. 'I'll just leave before you decide to hug me to death' he handed me my quiver, the grin almost frozen on his face, then he left the gym.
Just when you thought things couldn't get worse, they get worse. As in: I think I'm developing a crush on Glorfindel. AAAAAAARG!!! TERROR!!! Hello! It's Glorfindel! Mr. Poncy! Elf-git! I hate him! I slapped myself in the face. All the weird feelings of the last- how long had we been in the gym together? Anyway, all the feelings I wasn't supposed to feel left my body.
I walked out of the gym, back to my room to put my bow and quiver away. Still thinking about what exactly happened back in the gym I bumped into Éomer.
'Hey! Watch where you're- Oh, Elvea, good that it's you. I was looking for you' he said.
'Why?' I asked. I know, stupid question, but it wasn't like I actually was in Middle-Earth at that time.
'I want to talk to you about yesterday' I shrugged and walked into my room, followed by Éomer who closed the door behind me. See? I obviously wasn't thinking, normally I would've gone bitching first. I put my bow and quiver away. 'I'm sorry' Éomer suddenly said. I walked towards him.
'Sorry about what?'
'About yesterday.'
'You're sorry? SORRY?! You really have to learn that saying sorry isn't going to let you get away with everything you do'
'Please listen to me.'
'This better be good.' I said in a cold voice. The coldest voice I could master. That's about cold enough to have Mordor freeze over if I want to.
'I've been thinking about the things I did, things I said. and I realized that I've been stupid.'
'Stupid isn't the right word. You've been a complete asshole. A jerk. You made me feel as if you just used me, do you know that?!'
'I didn't mean to do that, I swear. I talked to Boromir and Arwen, and they told me to go talk to you, and I figured that I owe you an apology. I just wish you wouldn't respond the way you do.'
'Well maybe that's because you caused me a lot of pain.'
'You don't have to punish me for that, I've had my share. When I saw you leave the mess this morning, it was as if you just walked out of my life, out of my reach. as if you were saying: "You wanted this, fine. Your problem, not mine." It felt like somebody stabbed a dagger into my chest. That's when I realized what I had done, how much pain I must've caused you. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to'
'You should've thought of that before you did what you did'
'I suppose you're not going to forgive me then.'
'Maybe I will, maybe I won't.'
'Maybe we should just start all over again, yesterday didn't happen, none of the other things happened, we haven't even met yet.' he whispered, a pleading look in his eyes. Bright blue pools of hope, sadness, begging for forgiveness. and he was pulling me under. why can't I just stay mad at him?
'Alright, we'll start all over, you'll get your second chance. That's more than most people get, so don't screw up' I whispered. Éomer beamed and stuck out his hand.
'Hi, I'm Éomer Éadig' he said. I started laughing, he was taking it so literally that it was just cute. And funny. 'What's so funny? I'm introducing myself, we haven't met yet.' I took a hold of myself again and stopped laughing.
'Sorry. I'm Elvea Aure, nice to meet you' I said. We shook hands.
'Lady Elvea, may I tell you that you're beautiful?' Éomer asked. My face flushed.
'Why are you asking?'
'Because you are and I'm somehow finding myself extremely attracted to you.' he whispered. In a sudden movement he grabbed both of my wrists and pressed me against the wall, face less than an inch away from mine. My heartbeat went up to breakneck-speed. And there I go thinking that after Glorfindel I'd seen it all for today.
'Éomer, what are you doing?' I whispered.
'I'm not going to make the same mistake as I did last time we first met.' he whispered back, then leaned forward to kiss me. The door flew open. Endomiel and Legolas walked in. Éomer drew back his head a little, then turned it to face them. He didn't let go of my arms though, nor did he take a step back.
'Uhm. I see this room is occupied.' Endomiel said. 'Well, I just got to grab my bag, and we'll be gone, okay?'
'Uh, no. It's okay, I was just leaving' Éomer stammered.
'Sure you were, and we just had the most amazing sex in the whole wide world!' Legolas replied with an "I really don't believe you" tone. Éomer's mouth fell wide open at Legolas's words. Realization of what Legolas had said hit me. They did WHAT?! My own mouth fell open too. And there's another thing I can add to my weird-things-that-happened-today-o-meter. and I almost believed that the rumors hadn't been true.
'It was a joke guys, really!' Endomiel said as she glared at Legolas. They whispered a couple of things to each other, then Endomiel grabbed her bag. 'Okay, we'll be leaving now, don't mind us, just go on with whatever you two were doing!' she added and walked out of the door again.
'Or were planning on doing!' Legolas grinned and winked at Éomer, then he left too, closing the door behind him. Éomer turned back to me, then let go of my arms and stepped back.
'I'm sorry about that. I was a bit rash. I didn't hurt you, did I?' he asked.
'You didn't.'
'I hope you're not mad at me.'
'I'm not.'
'So it's okay?'
'Absolutely' We moved closer again, and he wrapped his arms around me.
'You sure we're not going to fast? After all, we just met.' Éomer whispered. I smiled.
'Well then it's good to know that we're not wasting any time' I whispered back. He leaned forward again, and whaddayaknow. the door flew open again.
'Hey Éomer are you in here I- oh, never mind, I'll come back later.' Frodo said as he stormed in. I'm not even going to bother to say anything about this anymore, today is just TOO weird.
'You don't have to leave, Frodo' Éomer said.
'What, I'm supposed to stand here and watch you two?' Frodo answered. Éomer smiled at me.
'That might not even be such a bad idea.' he replied.
'Forget it, I'm leaving'
'No wait, why were you looking for me?'
'Uhm, nothing important, it can wait. you're uhm. busy anyway' Éomer raised an eyebrow.
'Are you sure it's not important?' he asked.
'Well, actually it is, but. you have. other. things to do right now than to help me with my problem.'
'Problem?' Éomer and I asked at the same time.
'Well uhm. you see, it's.' Frodo started.
'Frodo, if you have a problem and need help it's okay. We all need help with things sometimes, even you, so don't be afraid to ask for it' I interrupted.
'I'm not afraid to ask for it, I just. didn't mean to interrupt anything.'
'It's okay, really. The year's far from ended, Éomer and I will have plenty of chances to catch up the time we lost now, I'm sure of that.'
'I'll make sure of that.' Éomer grinned and leaned forward again. Frodo cleared his throat.
'I'm sure you will Éomer, now are you going to help me?' he said. Éomer pulled a disappointed face for a moment, then let go of me and stepped back.
'Yeah, sure' he said and walked towards Frodo. 'So what do you need help with?'
'It's uhm. well, uhm.' Frodo started, then looked uncomfortably in my direction.
'It's okay, go!' I said smiling at them, then gestured for them to leave the room. Frodo left first, followed by Éomer. Right before he closed the door he turned around. He winked at me. He turned to Frodo again and closed the door. Did anyone else notice how sexy Éomer is when he winks like that? Probably not, but trust me, it's sexy. Really sexy. It also took away all doubts. Éomer is the only guy with a place in my heart, Éomer and no one else. And when I say no one, that includes Glorfindel. Good, now I can get back to plainly hating Mr. Poncy. See how great Éomer is? He solved all of my problems by simply being around.
I left the room. I had about thirty minutes until I was supposed to be in the mess, but I didn't really know what to do. I walked out of the dormitory and headed for the forest. I wanted to take some time to think about everything that had happened today, straighten things out for myself. I had been walking for about twenty minutes, thinking about things, when I saw somebody else. I walked over to the person, it was Glorfindel, fully equipped with bow and arrows.
'Hi Glorfindel, going somewhere?' I said.
'Nowhere in particular.'
'Why not?'
'I'm going hunting' he answered. I couldn't resist, I just *had* to say something annoying about that.
'Hunting for what? Balrogs?' I said, grinning widely. He fiercely grabbed one of my wrists and pulled me towards him, until there was only an inch of distance left between us. I tried to get my wrist loose, but he was really strong, and he only held it tighter, almost as if he was trying to crush it. And by the way it felt, he was about to succeed too.
He looked me straight in the eyes. I was surprised to see that there wasn't much anger in them. In fact, there were so much emotions in his eyes, he was arguing with himself whether or not to say something, or do something, or a combination of both for that matter.
"Kick him!!!"
NO!!!
"Why not?"
I'll get in trouble!
"You can say that he was sexually harassing you!"
I can't lie, you know that! And he isn't doing that!
"Not yet."
Shut up!
"Be reasonable, the way he acted earlier today. he was hitting on you."
No he wasn't.
"He tried to seduce you."
NO HE DIDN'T!!! SHUT UP!!!
"He kissed your ear, if that isn't seducing."
It was just a kiss, an accident!
"It wasn't an accident, you and I both know it."
SHUT UP!!!
"That's what it starts with: a kiss on the ear. then on the cheek, then in the neck. and suddenly all your clothes are gone. if he didn't have the intention to eventually end up like that, then the Titanic didn't sink"
Well maybe it didn't.
"Who are you fooling anyway? Yourself?"
No! He didn't have the intention to do that! He's married!
"Do you have any idea how many married men cheat on their wives?"
SHUT UP!!!
"You know what? I think you like being with Glorfindel. You like him, admit it. you like it, don't you, you like it when he touches you, you want him, want him so bad."
SHUT UP!!!
"Why are you denying it?"
It's not true and you know it! What are you doing anyway, you're supposed to be on my side!!!
"I'm the voice inside your head, I do what I want."
Obviously.
"Hey! If you're not going to kick him, use your magic"
I can't!
"Why not?"
I'd have to use strong magic! He'll notice that! They'll get suspicions! They'll find out what I really am, who I really am!
"So?"
That's not supposed to happen!
"Why not?"
I'll get all evil creatures in Middle-Earth after me!
"You're a Goddess, you can handle it."
Just go.
"Fine"
Annoying voice in my head. it's supposed to be on my side. did some evil creature send it to me or something? All that time Glorfindel kept looking me in the eyes, arguing with himself as well. Are voices inside your head contagious or something? Suddenly he let go of my wrist and walked away. Okay. I don't think I'll ever understand that git. Hah! I called him a git! I can still do it! I still hate him! *sticks out tongue to voice inside her head* See? I'm not in love with him. Besides, he nearly crushed my wrist, that's not exactly what I would call sweet and caring either. He's a jerk, and I knew it all along. My wrist was turning slightly blue. Great, now how do I explain that to everybody? Uh-oh. I'm supposed to be in the mess in about 30 seconds. I ran back to the dormitory, into the mess. Nobody there yet, thank Goddess.
'Hello Lady Aure, good of you to come in time' Elrond said as he walked into the mess, followed by Galadriel.
'The reason that you had to be here is because we need to get the information correctly to the students' Galadriel added.
'Oh, uhm. fine with me, I think.'
'You don't have to stay on stage, if you're worried about that. All you have to do is write down what happened and we'll use that as our resource' Elrond said.
'Alright, do you have some paper for me?'
Galadriel handed me two sheets of paper and I wrote down in short what had happened. The first students had already entered the mess when I was done writing. Elrond told me that I didn't have to stay, so I left the mess again, looking for something to do. I couldn't go see anybody, because they were all in the mess. Well, the freshmen anyway, and I don't know any second-year students or seniors.
I sat down in the grass on the lawn, then lay down. After a while some of the guys sat down next to me and started talking about the questions that Elrond and Galadriel had asked. Shortly after that Endomiel and Legolas joined us, and a little while later we were sitting on the lawn with a big group of people, waiting for the investigation to finish so we could go back inside. Galadriel and Elrond are sure making a fuss about it, I mean, it's not like I got killed or anything. okay, almost, but I'm still alive.
After about an hour people started going back inside. I guess they're done now. I stood up about ten minutes later to go back to the forest, but ran into Éomer (again) on the stairs outside.
'Hey, I was looking for you' he said.
'Again?'
'Yeah, again'
'You found me'
'I sure did'
'So why were you looking for me?'
'I wanted to talk to you'
'About what?'
'Us'
'Is there an "us"?'
'Not yet.' Éomer smiled (or grinned, more a combination of both actually), then took a step towards me and wrapped his arms around my waist (again). He leaned forward to kiss me.
'Hey Éomer! Thanks for your help!' Frodo shouted at Éomer as he walked into the dormitory. Éomer pulled an annoyed face.
'What did you help him with?' I asked.
'Oh, nothing.'
'Why won't you tell me?'
'I can think of nicer things we could be doing right now.' he grinned. He's sexy when he does that.
'Is that all you can think about?'
'Well, no. it's just that when I'm around you all other things on my mind go blurry and I can hardly resist the urge to kiss you'
'Hardly?'
'Okay, not at all.' he leaned forward again.
'Well maybe we should practice a little then. like. first you tell me what you helped Frodo with, then we kiss'
'I don't think I can wait that long'
'You'll have to'
'Can't we kiss first, then talk, then kiss again?'
'No'
'Do you really have to be so cruel?'
'The longer you keep whining the longer it will take before I let you kiss me, or maybe if you wait too long I'll decide that I don't want your kiss at all.'
'Well in that case. Frodo went to the dance with this hobbit-girl yesterday and he's seeing her again tonight and he needed some advice'
'That was the big mysterious problem? He has a date with Rosa?'
'Uh, yeah.'
'That's nice. I hope it will work out for him'
'I'm sure it will.' he leaned forward again. We were about to kiss when suddenly Legolas ran into us and ran on, leaving us to fall. Éomer fell right on top of me. Endomiel ran after Legolas shouting something like "GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE! RIGHT NOW!!!".
'Ouch.' I moaned softly as I hit the ground, and moaned again when Éomer landed on top of me.
'Are you okay?' Éomer asked as he pushed himself up, his arms on either side of me.
'Do you think it's a sign?' I asked.
'What?'
'Well, that every time we're about to kiss, something happens and stops us.' I explained. He looked down at me and smiled.
'I don't think that's a sign. The position we ended up in is a sign.' he leaned down to kiss me, when somebody decided to cough.
'You two sure know how to have fun, don't you?' Estel grinned. Éomer rolled off of me and sat up straight. I followed his example and sat up too. We exchanged looks.
'It's a sign'
'Definitely'
'What are you two talking about?' Estel asked.
'Never mind' I answered. I turned to Éomer. 'So I'll see you later?'
'Yeah, I'll see you later' he answered, then he stood up and walked away.
'Okay, I didn't get that.' Estel said.
'Of course you didn't' I replied as I walked away, leaving him behind with a confused look on his face.
Okay, how come I keep ending up alone today? How come everything that happens today is completely weird? How come that I feel as if I ended up in some kind of alternate universe? How come Éomer and I keep getting interrupted? How come Glorfindel's acting all weird? How come- okay I'll stop now.
I stood up, trying to figure out what to do now. I decided to go for *another* walk. I headed for the forest. After about five minutes I saw somebody else walking alone. Was that. Boromir?
'Boromir! Wait up!' I shouted and ran over to him. When he saw me, he turned and started walking away from me. I ran on until I caught up with him, which wasn't very hard thanks to my Elven agility. 'Is something wrong? Why are you avoiding me?' Silence. He looked down at his feet and said naught. We stood there for a while, silently, waiting for something to happen. And eventually it did. A tear dripped down Boromir's cheek and fell onto the soft moss of the forest. I couldn't believe it, Boromir. crying. Somehow he always seemed like someone who wouldn't do such thing easily, who just kept his sorrow to himself. But I couldn't know it all, nobody can, for he really was crying.
'Maybe I should leave.' I whispered.
'No, don't. don't leave. please.'
'But obviously it is my presence that causes you sadness, maybe it is better if I go'
'If that is your wish.' another tear went down his cheek as he raised his head to face me. There was so much emotion in his eyes, I just couldn't leave him alone, I wanted to help him.
'Will you tell me what's wrong?' I asked.
'I think you already know' he whispered. And I knew. He had helped me, despite his own feelings, but now he couldn't handle the consequences, he had misjudged himself, and it caused him pain.
'Is there anything I could do to help you feel better?'
'You would never do that' he whispered.
'I don't know what to do if you won't tell me what I could do.'
'You wouldn't do that'
'Why won't you just say it first?'
'Because I know that you'll answer will be no'
'How can you be sure?'
'It's not hard to guess'
'What do you want me to do?' I asked. Maybe I already knew what it was, maybe I shouldn't have been so foolish, maybe I shouldn't have pressed on so, maybe it was my own fault, maybe. but I did what I did, and he did what he did. He didn't answer. In stead, he pulled me towards him and pressed his lips on mine.
At that moment I felt all that he felt, felt his heartache. I felt how much desire, passion, love. how he put all that he felt in his kiss. But I didn't respond to it. I did what probably was the worst thing I could've done in that situation: I roughly pushed him away. I saw the pain in his eyes, the sadness, but also the desire to do it again, to give it all he had and more. Tears welled up in my own eyes, pain, sadness, ANGER for what had happened. I had no right to be mad at him, it was my own fault, but somehow I felt betrayed.
'Elvea, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-' he whispered.
'But you did!'
'I answered your question, you told me to do that.'
'Not like that!'
'I knew you'd say that.'
'And still you did it.'
'I couldn't help myself, I. I.'
'You should have!'
'I'm sorry!'
'No you're not. You did exactly what you wanted to do. Don't tell me you're sorry for something that you don't regret' I said icily, then I turned and started walking away.
'Elvea, wait!'
I ignored him, not thinking about how he felt but about what I felt, something I shouldn't have done, and I regret it, but I can't undo what is done. He started following me, grabbed my arm. I pushed him away for the third time that day. I started walking again, then suddenly I started running as if I'd gone crazy, as if I would get rid of the unwanted emotions, as if it would help me.
It didn't take long for my disease to take the best of me and I stopped running, leaned against a tree to get some fresh air in my lungs. Realization of what I had done finally struck me. Somewhere deep down I hoped that Boromir had followed me, that I could apologize, that he'd forgive me for my foolishness. But he didn't come after me, or had given up the chase. Tears slowly crept down my face, I hated myself for everything that I'd done from the moment I ran to ask him what was wrong.
'Elvea, what happened?' I didn't need to look up to know that it was Éomer. He lifted my head with his right hand so that I was facing him. 'Are you alright?'
'I am. but he isn't.' I whispered.
'Who isn't?'
'I've been a fool. I hurt him beyond chance to heal. I did something unforgivable.'
'What are you talking about? Who are you talking about? What's going on? Surely you could tell me.' Could I tell him? Would I, if I told him, hurt him too? What if I lose him forever this time? I'd lose everything because of my own foolishness.
'I can't. I can't tell you. it's unforgivable. he'll never forgive me, and you won't either.' I whispered.
'That's not up to you to judge. Just tell me, I promise, I won't get mad at you, Mordor, I couldn't, not even if I wanted to' his words allowed a faint smile to show on my face.
'Promise?'
'I promise'
'Boromir kissed me and it's my fault'
'He what?! But if he did it, how can it be your fault?'
'Because I. because I wanted to help. but I pressed him into the wrong direction. He said I'd never do the one thing that would make him feel better, but I kept pressing, saying that he couldn't know, and then he did it, and.' I started crying again.
'Sssh. don't cry. I'm sure he can forgive you for that.' he wrapped his arms around me, I lay my head on his shoulder. He started to stroke my back slowly to soothe me. 'I don't think he minds that you drove him to kiss you. I don't think he could be mad at you for doing something like that.' he whispered the words soothingly in my ear.
'No. you don't understand.'
'Why not?'
'Because I. I pushed him away! I pushed him away and got mad at him, shouted at him! I pressed him to do it and then I got mad at him! I hurt him so bad. he'll never forgive me.' tears ran down my face like waterfalls. Éomer pressed me closer against him.
'Are you afraid that he won't forgive you, or can't you forgive yourself?' he whispered.
'I. I.'
'Forgive yourself, let it go. and next time you see him, you make it up, tell him you regret it. Tell him that you don't mind if he'll hate you for the rest of his life, that it was your own fault, but that you regret doing it.' he whispered.
'Do you think he'll listen?'
'I don't know, but it sure is worth a try'
'And what about you, aren't you mad at me?'
'Why would I? I have no reason to. after all, we're not together or anything, I have no right to be mad at you.'
'Éomer?'
'Yes?'
'Please don't go.' he laughed for a moment, softly.
'I wasn't planning to go anywhere. in fact, I can see the positive side to this whole incident.'
'There isn't a positive side.'
'Yes there is. it drove you right into my arms, didn't it?' I could feel him smile, and I closed my eyes, holding him tightly, a content smile slowly creeping up my face.
We stood there for a while, holding each other tightly, not speaking but listening to the breathing of the other, enjoying each other's presence. Eventually we sat down and leaned back against a tree. Or actually, Éomer leaned against the tree, I lay my head on his chest and he put his arm around my waist, letting his free hand run through my hair. Sitting like that, we watched the sun disappear behind the trees. It had gotten pretty dark before we stood up and headed back to the dormitory.
As we approached the building, we saw a figure sitting in the shadow of a tree on the lawn. We both knew who it was, even without looking at his face. Éomer squeezed my hand slightly, wordlessly saying "go talk to him, you can do it". He let go of my hand and walked into the dormitory, leaving me and Boromir alone. I walked over to him and sat down next to him, waiting for him to say something. We sat there for at least an hour, not even saying a single word. In the end, I didn't care what we would say, as long as he'd say something, no matter how cruel.
'I've been thinking.' he finally started. I turned my head to look at him. 'We were both out of line' I nodded. 'I wanted to confess to you that I really enjoyed doing it, even without a response, and I'd do it again anytime. but then I realized that I would hurt more than just myself if I'd do that. I'd hurt myself, because I'd know that it will always be a one sided love, that you'll never love me in the same way as I love you. I'd hurt you for doing it, it would confuse you, make you feel guilty that you can never honestly response to it. and I would hurt Éomer, for taking and hurting that what he cares for more than anything' he fell silent, searching for more words.
'You should never say never.'
'What do you mean?'
'Not all love lasts forever, and even though I have strong feelings for Éomer right now, they might all be gone in the morrow. and you know what I told you yesterday. Never say never'
'But your feelings won't all be gone in the morning'
'There is nobody in the world who can see the future for sure, Boromir'
'Maybe not. but I don't have much hope' he looked down at his hands as he said those words, and I knew that if I wouldn't do something, he'd cry again. I reached for his chin and turned his face towards mine.
'Don't you ever give up hope, no matter how little you have left. Not in this case, not in any other. who knows what might happen. the smallest things can change the course of the future'
'Are you saying that because you believe in it, or are you just trying to make me feel better?'
'I believe in it. Have faith in yourself, have faith in others, stay true to yourself and you'll get what you deserve' We fell silent again. I still wanted to apologize to him, but I couldn't find the right words for it. It took me ten minutes to figure out what I was going to say. 'I uh. I still owe you an apology, I know that what happened earlier, that I led it to what happened myself, that it was my own fault, and I shouldn't have shouted at you, treated you so poorly for something I caused myself. If you don't want to forgive me, I understand and I'll accept it, even if it means that you'll hate me forever. If you do forgive me, I think I'd. I'd do almost anything to earn the right to be forgiven.' I hesitated at the last bit, but I meant it.
'You didn't have to ask for forgiveness, I forgave you the moment you came back, sitting next to me. I can't be mad at you, you led the situation there, but I could've answered normally in stead of being so rash. I'm sorry too'
'You didn't have to do that'
'It felt right.'
'It felt right, but are you feeling any better, are you feeling better than earlier today?'
'It doesn't matter how I feel, I just want you to be happy, no matter what'
'I don't want my happiness cause pain to a friend either, I couldn't live with that. I want to make your pain go away, but I don't know how.'
'If you could take away the love I feel for you.'
'I can't do that, I don't know how.'
'But you would do it for me, no matter what the consequences are?'
'There are few things I wouldn't do to see my friends happy'
'I shouldn't be asking this. I shouldn't. I really shouldn't, I know that. but I'm gonna do it anyway, and I'll accept any answer you'll give me'
'Ask your question, no matter how wrong it may be, I'll listen and answer, I owe you that much'
'Will you?'
'I'll answer, even if I don't like the question. If you'll ask what you want to know, then I'll answer, it's as simple as that'
'So be it. If I. would you. this isn't going to work. could you give me five minutes of happiness, to last on for the rest of my life if fate has it that way? If I'd kiss you now, would you kiss me back?' his cheeks turned red of shame for what he had asked. I started thinking, I said I'd do nearly anything to see him happy, and if this was the one thing he wanted. would I do it? Boromir misunderstood my silence. 'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked, I-'
'Boromir, shut up!'
'I'm sorry, I-'
'I promised I'd answer your question, and I intend to keep my word'
'Oh, I thought that.'
'I know you did.' I took a deep breath to answer his question, thinking over for the last time what I would say. 'I would do it' his eyes turned big of amazement.
'You would?' I nodded.
'I would.'
Boromir leaned forward to put his words into action, wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. His warm breath brushed over my lips and he started taking away all space left between us. Then suddenly he turned back and leaned against the tree. He closed his eyes and sighed softly. He stood up and took my hand, pulled me to my feet. He softly kissed my hand. I looked up at him surprised.
'That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me' he whispered.
'I didn't do it. we didn't do it.'
'You gave me an honest answer, your words were enough.'
'You're stealing my lines!' I joked. His eyes twinkled.
'I couldn't help but repeat what you said this morning, because it's just true'
'So we're even now?'
'I think so.' he thoughtfully said, then grinned. 'But I could of course also abuse the situation and kiss you anyway' his eyes twinkled again, and I laughed.
'I suppose you could'
'But I'm not going to' he offered me his arm. 'Mind if I escort you to your room?'
'It would be an honor' I lay my hand on his arm and we walked back into the dormitory, stopping in front of my room. 'Goodnight Elvea'
'Goodnight Boromir' I opened the door and walked into my room. I didn't turn on the lights, all the other girls were sleeping already and I can see fine in the dark.
I changed into my nightgown and sat down on my bed, turning on the little lamp next to my bed. That's when I started writing. Today was pretty weird, I'm still suspecting this to be one big dream. I'll just read this tomorrow morning to see if it really happened. No wait, it's already tomorrow. Well in that case I'm going to get some sleep now, tomorrow, no today classes start again and I don't want to get in trouble for falling asleep during class.
Kisses and goodnight, Elvea.
Phew. that's done for now. damn, I just discovered that this is my longest chappie ever! That's what happens when inspiration strikes. Damn plot bunnies. Yes, even that Glorfindel-incident *shudders* is relevant to the plot. I've done something horrible! I made Glorfindel important to my plot! I think I'll just go kill myself for doing such a terrible thing. well, despite the Glorfindel-thing and the title I hope I didn't scare you too much and that you've enjoyed it anyway. done blabbering now 'cause I don't know what else to say here except for my usual plea for reviews, so R&R please!!!
Disclaimer: Do I have to confess to the whole world that they're not mine? Do I also have to confess that there's some stuff from the Silmarillion in here that I didn't write myself? I guess I do. The stuff about the other Glorfindel was written by Tolkien, not me.
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Chapter 10 - Shooting Éomer and kissing Glorfindel (the day people kept interrupting me)
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Day thirteen, the 19th of Halimath, 1384 (Shire Reckoning)
Valanya, the 40th of Yávië (Iavas), 2984 T.A. (Calendar of Imladris)
Dear diary,
I woke up this morning feeling lousy, once again cursing immortality. I was told once that an Elf can die of grief for a lost loved one, so why couldn't I do the same? I wanted to die, or get over Éomer and move on, but somehow neither one of the options would come to pass, and I was left alone feeling miserable. I turned around, didn't want to get up, I just wanted to stay in bed for the rest of eternity, alone with my sorrow. It took me 5 minutes to realize that it wouldn't work, so I got up and dressed.
I looked around the room. The others had all gotten up already. no, wait, Endomiel's bed hadn't been slept on. (pretty obvious since her usual pile of junk hadn't moved an inch on the bed since yesterday) so where the Mordor could she have been, and where was she now? Probably having breakfast or something. Ah well, it's none of my business where she hangs out at night.
I walked over to the mess, stopping in the doorway. I looked around the mess, and saw my friends having breakfast at a table nearby. There he was, talking, laughing with the others, as if nothing had happened, as if everything was still the same. But to me it wasn't, he would never be mine again, and I felt as if I could never be happy again.
I couldn't help but stare at him, his smile still had me under it's spell, still made my heart beat so much faster. Why couldn't it just fade away, this feeling of. hopelessness, being utterly lost. then he saw me, standing in the doorway, looking at him. He looked me in the eyes, and once again I felt the other spell taking a hold of me. His eyes were deep blue pools of kindness, but now also of. sadness? I was losing myself in his eyes, drowning in them, wanting to take the sadness away and replace it for happiness. I knew that I couldn't, and still I couldn't stop looking at him, trapped in his gaze.
Several heads turned to see what Éomer was staring at. They saw me standing in the doorway, then shrugged. "Éomer is staring at Elvea again, what else is new?" that's what their shrugs meant. I'll tell you what's new: we're not together and all hope of ever regaining the right to claim such thing was gone, unlike all other times he had stared at me and I at him. It was almost as if darkness started creeping into my heart, darkness and despair.
I looked away, couldn't take it any longer. I couldn't look at him anymore without knowing that it was completely over, that it would never heal. And I was a fool for even convincing myself that I could get over it when I couldn't, that was clear to me now. I turned around and started walking back to my room, knowing that I wouldn't be able to eat anyway, I wouldn't get a single thing through my throat. Somebody grabbed me by the arm, but carefully. My heart skipped a beat, was it him?
'Are you okay?' I turned around. Boromir was looking at me worriedly. Disappointment went through me for a moment, but I didn't let it show.
'I'm fine' I answered.
'Liar' he said accusingly. Somehow I got really annoyed, why wouldn't he just let me be alone with my sorrow?! I hit his hand away and continued walking to my room. Boromir followed me and grabbed my arm again, this time his grip was a lot firmer and I couldn't get myself loose easily, he was pretty damn strong, certainly for a mortal.
'LET GO!!!' I shouted.
'Not until I'm sure that you won't do anything stupid if I leave you alone!' he shouted back. Some people stared at us for a moment, then resumed doing whatever it was that they were doing.
'I just.' tears welled up in my eyes, words seemed to be stuck in my throat. The look in Boromir's eyes softened, and he let go of my arm. He placed his hand on my back and led me into my room, gesturing for me to sit down on a chair. I sat down on the chair that stood next to my bed, he sat down on the bed so that he was opposite of me. Neither of us spoke.
'It's Éomer, he.' I started after a while, looking down.
'What did the idiot do to you now?' Boromir said, brushing away a tear with his hand. I hadn't even noticed that tears were dripping down my face until he did that.
'He. he said that he had too much doubts, that. that it would we better if we'd just remain friends.' I whispered.
'What a moron' Boromir whispered. I looked up and looked him in the eyes, wondering what exactly he meant by that. He must have seen the question in my eyes because he started explaining. 'Well, you know. I mean uhm. first he's all like "stay away she's mine!" and then when he has what he wants he decides to just be friends in stead of receiving your love? That sounds pretty damn stupid if you ask me.'
'But he said he had doubts.'
'Doubts? About what? Did he tell you?'
'Not exactly, but-'
'He should've told you'
'Maybe he was afraid that he wasn't my only one'
'Was he your only one?' Boromir asked softly. Yes, the answer cried out inside me, he was the only one I truly loved, and I still do love him like that, there's nobody who can measure up to receiving that amount of love from me. Not even Boromir, although he deserves it so much more right now, he's so nice. I didn't want to hurt him again, because I know, no matter how careful I said it, I would hurt him.
'He still is.' I whispered. A flash of pain went through Boromir's eyes, very brief, but I noticed it, and felt guilty. His eyes had returned to the kind, friendly. caring look they had before the pain, and he placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.
'Then tell him'
'I don't think he'll listen'
'Maybe he'll listen to me'
'Do you think so?'
'Yeah, and if he won't, I'll just have Faramir stalk him until he does listen to you' he said. A swift smile went over my face, it was really sweet of him.
'That's the sweetest thing a guy's ever said to me'
'If that's true then those guys still have a lot to learn.'
'Thanks for doing this for me Boromir'
'I haven't done it yet'
'But you said it, despite. well, you know. That's really sweet, if I ever come up with something to thank you.'
'You don't have to, you're a friend, and I help my friends unconditionally. A real friend doesn't need a reward if he does a friend a favor' he stood up and walked to the door.
'Where are you going?'
'I'm going to look for that idiotic friend of mine'
'Thanks Boromir'
'No problem.' he said, even though his face now clearly showed that he felt lousy. He opened the door and left. Now what? I stood up and walked to the desk. On it lay an open book, History or something. It had a name in it that immediately drew my attention: Glorfindel.
"Glorfindel, Elf of Gondolin, who fell to his death in Cirith Thoronath in combat with a Balrog after the escape from the sack of the city." That was the introduction. I read on. "Many are the songs that have been sung on the duel of Glorfindel (chief of the House of the Golden Flower of Gondolin) with the Balrog upon the pinnacle of rock in that high place; and both fell to ruin in the abyss. But the eagles coming stooped upon the Orcs, and drove them shrieking back; all were slain or cast into the deeps, so that rumor of the escape from Gondolin came not until long after to Morgoth's ears. Then Thorondor bore up Glorfindel's body out of the abyss, and they buried him in a mound of stones beside the pass; and green turf came there, and yellow flowers bloomed upon it amid the barrenness of stone, until the world was changed." Well obviously this is about another Glorfindel, because our teacher unfortunately still terrorizes the school. Besides, he doesn't have an air of hero-ness hanging about him; he has an air of. ponciness.
'Isn't he great?' someone behind me asked. I turned around. Elanor was standing behind me, staring at the name in the book with a dreamy look in her eyes.
'Uhm, well. I wouldn't know, I never met him, I mean. he died during the First Age.'
'I mean our teacher.'
'Oh, that Glorfindel.' I said. Now how do I tell her in a subtle way that I hate the guy?
'Do you think his parents named him after the one from our History-book?' Elanor said before I could answer her previous question, thank Goddess. If they did name him after the first Glorfindel, they made a huge mistake. In my opinion anyway, but I wasn't going to tell Elanor that.
'I guess they did.' I answered. Elanor let out a sigh. The kind of sigh you do when you're totally swooning over someone.
'Do you have any idea how lucky you are?' she asked. Lucky? Me? So far my day's pretty damn miserable.
'What do you mean?'
'You got to dance with Glorfindel yesterday, I know quite a bunch of girls who'd loved to be you at that moment' Elanor said. Well where were they to bug Glorfindel when I needed to be rescued?!
'Including yourself, I suppose?' I asked, with a sharp undertone in my voice. Elanor's face turned beet red. How can she have a crush on Glorfindel?! I mean. Glorfindel!!! EEEEEEEEEEW.
'And you also get to spend a lot of extra time with him.' she whispered while her face turned back to its original color.
'You mean the detentions? I can come up with a whole list of things I'd rather do in my spare time.'
'Yeah, like making out with him in a closet' Elanor's eyes twinkled. EEEEEEEW!!! I can't believe she actually said that! YUCK!
'You did that?!'
'I wish.' she let out another one of those sighs.
'Keep wishing, he's married' I said bluntly. And I wanted to beat the crap out of myself right away for saying something stupid like that to her.
'He is?' Elanor's eyes grew big and sad. See? Me and my big mouth.
'Yeah, he is.'
'Who told you that?'
'He did.'
'Oh.'
'I'm sorry, I-'
'No, it's okay, really. At least I didn't make a fool out of myself yet by coming on to him or something.'
'Well I guess there's a positive side to it indeed'
'So thanks for telling me. Hey, I'll be out, so I'll see you around, okay?' she suddenly said and left the room before I could even blink. And I'm alone again.
I can't believe she has a crush on that guy. seriously, if I were his wife, I'd probably attempt suicide. But then again, I'd never marry him. I'd rather sleep with a band of Orcs than marry Glorfindel. The only way that I could ever end up married to that guy is by a forced marriage. I'm so glad he's already married.
I left the room too, I couldn't hide there from Éomer forever. I left the dormitory and followed a random path through the gardens until I came to a little stream. I sat down at its "shore" and started throwing pebbles into the water. After a while I heard footsteps coming up behind me. I turned my head and saw Arwen approaching. She sat down next to me.
'Are you okay?' she asked. Why do they keep asking me that?! Can't they see it's annoying me?! I am NOT doing fine!!! Is it that hard to understand?!
'I'm fine' I said as I fiercely threw a handful of pebbles into the stream.
'If it makes you feel better, Éomer's feeling pretty lousy too'
'I'm sure he is'
'I'm serious, after you left the mess this morning he hasn't said a single word, and he's been staring into nothing with a sad expression on his face ever since'
'Don't lie to me'
'I'm not lying'
'Why are you telling that anyway?'
'I think you should go talk to him'
'Don't tell me what to do, will you? I don't need you, nor Boromir, nor anybody else to tell me what to do! He wanted this himself, if he can't live with that it's really not my problem' I threw more pebbles into the water.
'I wouldn't be too sure about that'
'What do you mean by that?'
'You may not want to admit it, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that you're feeling lousy' Arwen said as she stood up.
'Where are you going?'
'I'm going back to our room'
'Oh, ok.'
I watched Arwen as she left, then I turned around and started throwing pebbles again for a while. After that I decided to get some lunch, because it was lunchtime already. As I walked to the mess, I saw Éomer and Faramir walking towards a table, laughing about something. I guess Arwen lied. sad expression, yeah right. I started feeling nauseous, so I walked back outside to get some air. This was bad, really bad. I started beating a tree- trunk to get rid of my frustration.
'Lady Aure, in my office, right now!' a familiar voice boomed. I turned around to see Gildor standing behind me. He started walking towards his office. Great, just what I needed, a lecture from Gildor. We entered his office and he turned around to face me.
'Lady Aure, I have been informed that you have a rare Elvish disease and that this disease may cause you to act strange. As your mentor I'm supposed to keep that in mind, and I also care about you. However, I cannot allow you to beat trees to pulp' Gildor started. I didn't beat it to pulp! Not yet anyway. 'Furthermore I think you should behave as a responsible person and certainly someone like you'
'But-'
'If you need to get rid of your anger or other emotions I'd like you to do that some place else, not on our trees. We have an entire gym where you can do those things. But that's not why I wanted to see you'
'It's not?'
'No. I just wanted to inform you that Galadriel and Elrond will be questioning the students about the incident yesterday, and that they need you to be in the mess in time'
'Oh, ok. is that all?'
'Almost. You may have noticed that teachers started calling you by titles such as Lady, maybe even Princess or something else. It probably is a bit odd to have such a change, and certainly because they're teachers. We've only been informed that those are the proper titles'
'Alright then, thank you for telling.'
'You may leave now' Gildor said. I turned around and started walking. 'Oh and Lady Aure?' I turned my head. 'Maybe you should just go talk to Éomer' he added with an understanding smile.
I left the room, seriously pissed. Does everybody in this school know what happened yesterday?! My frustration grew to a size beyond any measures. I guess Gildor was right about one thing: I should get rid of my anger. As I walked back to my room to get my bow and arrows I heard some people talking. My ears picked up the name "Endomiel", so I slowed down my pace to hear what they were saying. A couple of guys, seniors I think, were standing in a corner, talking about Endomiel.
'Did you hear what happened next?' one of them said.
'Well, as I was saying, she left the party with that guy, headed for a, like, quiet place.' another one said, resuming whatever he was telling.
'Go on.' a third one said.
'So they went to this place quiet, and they started kissing, like, really hard, and then she started stripping him of his clothes, like, really fast, and then.' he stopped to make the story extra exciting. I took up my old pace, knowing what part would be next. Although the story probably wasn't true, it did give an explanation of where she could have been last night.
I went to my room and got my bow and quiver. I counted my arrows, all fifteen I brought from home were there. After that I left the room again and headed for the gym. When I came there it was completely empty, except for the usual targets that the filled the archery-gym. I notched an arrow to my bowstring and aimed.
I imagined the target to be my misery, and shot. It was a direct hit. I notched another arrow to my bowstring, and imagined the target to be my sadness. Another hit. I kept shooting until I had shot nearly everything that was bothering me, hitting most of my targets straight in the center. I ran out of arrows for the second time, and started to recollect my arrows. It was then that I first felt someone watching me. I looked around, but I still was the only one in the gym.
I started shooting again, but with every time I shot, my aim got worse, until I couldn't even hit my target anymore. I sank to the ground, once again tired. I sat there for a while, resting, trying to get some breath. I stood up again after a couple of minutes and drew the last arrow from my quiver, to shoot the final thing that bothered me. I aimed at my target and closed my eyes, imagining that it was Éomer. I opened my eyes again, and right before I let go of the bowstring, I heard something behind me. My arrow nearly pierced Glorfindel.
'I. Am. So. Sorry!' I stammered as Glorfindel mentally recovered from my "attack".
'Uh, no. it's okay, I shouldn't have snuck up on you, so I'm sorry' he replied. Glorfindel, taking the blame? What's wrong with this picture?
'Are you okay?' I asked. Okay, so I don't like him, I'm still the Goddess of Good and being good includes caring.
'Yeah, I'm fine, no damage done, just my pride.' he answered. His pride, of course. what else? 'Gildor uhm. he told me that you'd probably be here and that you weren't really, well uhm. that you were pretty upset so he asked me to keep an eye on you, just in case.'
'So you were the one that was spying on me.'
'I wasn't spying on you, you were really concentrated and I didn't want to interrupt that, but then your aim got worse and.'
'.you decided to get yourself shot because you couldn't take it anymore' I said. Glorfindel started laughing. Glorfindel, laughing at one of my jokes, without giving me a detention? This picture isn't just wrong; it gives me the creeps.
'Something like that, yes.' he said as he stopped laughing. 'Actually I was watching your technique and I noticed it could use some improvement, so if you want help.'
I looked around the gym. Arrows lay on the floor everywhere, most of them nowhere near the targets they were supposed to be stuck in. Only three arrows had actually hit their target, none of them in the center. If I ever wanted to shoot Éomer I could probably use some help indeed.
'Uh, yeah. I'd like some help' I answered. And if you thought the picture couldn't get weirder, you were wrong. Not only did Glorfindel offer to help me and I accepted it, he also started to recollect my arrows for me.
'Okay, we'll start out easy.' He said when he had collected all of my arrows. He pointed at the nearest target and I turned to it. 'Let's see how you'd shoot that' he handed me an arrow. I notched it to my bowstring, aimed, shot and. missed by a mile.
'I don't think this is going to work' I said.
'Come on, don't give up that easily, I'm sure you can do it' Glorfindel answered as he handed me another arrow. 'Just try again' I shot again, and missed again.
'I told you I can't do it! I lost it.'
'Nobody just loses the ability to shoot. Something's just bothering you, that's all' And how exactly does he enter my mind? Or am I that obvious? Or maybe he too knows that I'm upset about the whole Éomer-thing. anyway, I still think that he's up to something, he has to be, why else would he be so nice?
'I just can't do it, okay?'
'Sure you can, just believe in yourself.' he handed me the third arrow. I notched it to the bowstring, hoping that I wouldn't fail miserably again. I missed.
'See, I can't do it.'
'Yes you can'
'Then what am I doing wrong?'
'Shoot again, but take your time, so I can see what it might be' Glorfindel said. How come he never has this kind of patience during class?! He handed me a new arrow.
I notched it to the string, making sure that I wasn't doing anything wrong. Then I aimed carefully until I was sure that I wouldn't miss. I let go of the bowstring, followed the arrow with my eyes and saw it hit the floor. I threw my bow and quiver down in frustration.
'I give up' I sighed and sank to the ground. Glorfindel sat down next to me and placed his hand on my shoulder.
'Don't do that Princess, I know you can do it, I believe in you, all you have to do is believe in yourself' somehow he actually managed to get through to me, and I decided to give it a last try. I got up and Glorfindel handed me my bow and an arrow.
'This is my final try, okay? If I can't do it now, then I'll quit' I said to him. He nodded. I prepared myself to shoot, notched the arrow, drew back the bowstring and aimed.
'Wait!' Glorfindel said just before I shot. I let my bow down. 'No, no. hold the pose. I just wanted to adjust it a little.'
'Oh.' I retook the pose. Glorfindel came standing right behind me. 'If you don't mind, I'll.' he started.
'Uh, no, uhm. go ahead.' I whispered. Tell me again, WHAT THE MORDOR AM I DOING?!!!
He took another step, his chest was now practically against my back. His left hand went over my shoulder and he placed it over mine. He placed his right hand on my other hand and let his head lean a bit on my left shoulder. He started to reposition my hands until they were in the right place. Then he started to reposition the fingers of my right hand until I held the arrow right.
He helped me aim at my target, all the time not saying a single word. I could feel his warm breath softly going past my cheek, felt the warmth of his body warming my own body, felt his heart beat at the same pace as mine. somehow this whole pose, the whole moment. it had an incredibly romantic undertone. And to be honest, I actually enjoyed it, felt safe, felt. comfortable. Dear God, please don't tell me I'm developing a crush on Glorfindel.
'Go ahead, just shoot, I know you can do it, I have faith in you.' he whispered in my ear. His breath tickled my ear, triggered something.
°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*° WHITE FLASH °*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°
I saw myself, standing in one of the gardens of our palace in Laurelindrian. I was talking to. Glorfindel.? But I couldn't hear what we were saying. Tears were dripping down my face, and Glorfindel tenderly brushed them away. He wrapped his arms around me and whispered something in my ear.
'I know you can do it, I have faith in you.' he whispered. I saw myself shaking my head, new tears running down my face. He kissed them away, then kissed me on the forehead and on my cheek. I looked him in the eyes, tears still welled up in them. He whispered something else and I smiled, then he kissed me on the mouth.
°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*° WHITE FLASH °*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°
I was back in the gym; Glorfindel's arms still where they had been before, actually, we hadn't moved a single inch. What the Mordor was the vision supposed to mean? Especially the last part, Glorfindel and me, kissing? Okay, that is definitely what I would call weird. Not just weird, completely gross! If my subconscience was trying to tell me something, then I don't want to know what it is.
'What are you waiting for?' Glorfindel whispered. As he did that, his lips practically touched my ear. I shuddered, we sure were standing close. 'Are you okay?' he asked as he noticed my shudder. Again, his lips nearly touched my ear, almost as if he had the intention to do that. AHA! I see his Diabolical Master Plan! He's trying to drive me crazy! I knew there had to be some kind of catch behind all the kindness.
'I'm just a little nervous, that's all.' I whispered back.
'You can do it, I'm right here with you' he whispered. Once again his lips nearly touched my ear as he said it, but this time he actually kissed my ear right after he spoke. It was a really short kiss, but it was a kiss, the touch wasn't an accident. And being honest again, I liked it. This is bad, this is sooooo bad. I felt his face flush. 'I'm so sorry, I'm- I didn't mean to- I shouldn't have- I uhm, I.' he stammered.
'No, don't worry about it, it's okay.' I whispered, and he let out a sigh of relief. It's okay? It's okay and I enjoyed it?! What the Mordor has gotten into me?!!!
'Ready to shoot?' he asked. I nodded slightly. 'On my count. Three. two. one.' We let go of the bowstring. Or actually, I let go of the bowstring and he let his hand move along with mine. The arrow hit the target. Not in the center, but it actually hit the target, which was a huge progress compared to before. I cheered softly.
'Care to try another one?' Glorfindel asked. Without waiting for me to answer he drew an arrow out of the quiver on his back. My quiver. Okay, when exactly did he pick up my quiver and put it on? How much have I been missing so far? This is even worse than I thought.
I took the arrow, and Glorfindel helped me find the right positions for my hands and fingers again. We aimed, we shot, we hit. Nothing more to say about it. Still no center, but it's a start. We kept on shooting like that until we had hit the center of the target a couple of times. While doing so, it was almost like we both knew what the other was going to do, our movements almost as if we were one person in stead of two. And the worst part is that I'm hardly complaining, even though the picture is so wrong. hello! He's married! Wait a sec, he's married? What kind of argument is that?! I hate him! I'm not supposed to say such things! More like: hello! He's a creep! I hate him! Or something like that.
'Now try one on your own' he said when we had a direct hit again.
'Do you think I can do it?'
'I know you can' he handed me an arrow and stepped back.
He walked to the side so he had a better view and he watched me notch the arrow to the bowstring, draw the string back and aim. I closed my eyes for a moment, once again imagining the target to be the final thing that haunted my mind: Éomer. I opened my eyes and shot. Direct hit. Glorfindel clapped and I cheered.
Impulsively I dropped my bow, ran to Glorfindel and flung my arms around his neck to embrace him. Before I knew it he had wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and we were standing there, in the gym, holding each other. Neither of us moved, I think we both liked the feeling. I think I liked it, being wrapped up in his arms. Maybe because I had missed it, missed Éomer, thought I would never feel anything like it again. Or maybe because. I don't want to think about it. I closed my eyes, noticing that he smelled pretty good.
'Glorfindel?'
'Hmmm?'
'What are we doing?' I said as I opened my eyes and came to senses.
'I don't know what we're doing, but I don't mind, do you?' he whispered. This is NOT supposed to happen!
'This is wrong, you know it.' I whispered in return.
'And what exactly would be wrong about all this?'
'You're married.'
'That doesn't mean I can't hug someone beside my wife.'
'You're my teacher.'
'Doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to emotionally support someone.'
'You're not doing that.'
'Aren't I? I'm pretty sure I just helped you get your self-esteem back, helped you get rid of your anger and now I'm showing you that the world isn't ending. Sounds like emotional support to me.'
'Well besides I. then I. I'll. I.'
'You what?'
'I hate you.' I stated dryly. An amused grin crept onto his face.
'Do you?' he said, still grinning. Do I? I wasn't really sure anymore. 'Well then.' he said as he started collecting my arrows and put them in my quiver. 'I'll just leave before you decide to hug me to death' he handed me my quiver, the grin almost frozen on his face, then he left the gym.
Just when you thought things couldn't get worse, they get worse. As in: I think I'm developing a crush on Glorfindel. AAAAAAARG!!! TERROR!!! Hello! It's Glorfindel! Mr. Poncy! Elf-git! I hate him! I slapped myself in the face. All the weird feelings of the last- how long had we been in the gym together? Anyway, all the feelings I wasn't supposed to feel left my body.
I walked out of the gym, back to my room to put my bow and quiver away. Still thinking about what exactly happened back in the gym I bumped into Éomer.
'Hey! Watch where you're- Oh, Elvea, good that it's you. I was looking for you' he said.
'Why?' I asked. I know, stupid question, but it wasn't like I actually was in Middle-Earth at that time.
'I want to talk to you about yesterday' I shrugged and walked into my room, followed by Éomer who closed the door behind me. See? I obviously wasn't thinking, normally I would've gone bitching first. I put my bow and quiver away. 'I'm sorry' Éomer suddenly said. I walked towards him.
'Sorry about what?'
'About yesterday.'
'You're sorry? SORRY?! You really have to learn that saying sorry isn't going to let you get away with everything you do'
'Please listen to me.'
'This better be good.' I said in a cold voice. The coldest voice I could master. That's about cold enough to have Mordor freeze over if I want to.
'I've been thinking about the things I did, things I said. and I realized that I've been stupid.'
'Stupid isn't the right word. You've been a complete asshole. A jerk. You made me feel as if you just used me, do you know that?!'
'I didn't mean to do that, I swear. I talked to Boromir and Arwen, and they told me to go talk to you, and I figured that I owe you an apology. I just wish you wouldn't respond the way you do.'
'Well maybe that's because you caused me a lot of pain.'
'You don't have to punish me for that, I've had my share. When I saw you leave the mess this morning, it was as if you just walked out of my life, out of my reach. as if you were saying: "You wanted this, fine. Your problem, not mine." It felt like somebody stabbed a dagger into my chest. That's when I realized what I had done, how much pain I must've caused you. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to'
'You should've thought of that before you did what you did'
'I suppose you're not going to forgive me then.'
'Maybe I will, maybe I won't.'
'Maybe we should just start all over again, yesterday didn't happen, none of the other things happened, we haven't even met yet.' he whispered, a pleading look in his eyes. Bright blue pools of hope, sadness, begging for forgiveness. and he was pulling me under. why can't I just stay mad at him?
'Alright, we'll start all over, you'll get your second chance. That's more than most people get, so don't screw up' I whispered. Éomer beamed and stuck out his hand.
'Hi, I'm Éomer Éadig' he said. I started laughing, he was taking it so literally that it was just cute. And funny. 'What's so funny? I'm introducing myself, we haven't met yet.' I took a hold of myself again and stopped laughing.
'Sorry. I'm Elvea Aure, nice to meet you' I said. We shook hands.
'Lady Elvea, may I tell you that you're beautiful?' Éomer asked. My face flushed.
'Why are you asking?'
'Because you are and I'm somehow finding myself extremely attracted to you.' he whispered. In a sudden movement he grabbed both of my wrists and pressed me against the wall, face less than an inch away from mine. My heartbeat went up to breakneck-speed. And there I go thinking that after Glorfindel I'd seen it all for today.
'Éomer, what are you doing?' I whispered.
'I'm not going to make the same mistake as I did last time we first met.' he whispered back, then leaned forward to kiss me. The door flew open. Endomiel and Legolas walked in. Éomer drew back his head a little, then turned it to face them. He didn't let go of my arms though, nor did he take a step back.
'Uhm. I see this room is occupied.' Endomiel said. 'Well, I just got to grab my bag, and we'll be gone, okay?'
'Uh, no. It's okay, I was just leaving' Éomer stammered.
'Sure you were, and we just had the most amazing sex in the whole wide world!' Legolas replied with an "I really don't believe you" tone. Éomer's mouth fell wide open at Legolas's words. Realization of what Legolas had said hit me. They did WHAT?! My own mouth fell open too. And there's another thing I can add to my weird-things-that-happened-today-o-meter. and I almost believed that the rumors hadn't been true.
'It was a joke guys, really!' Endomiel said as she glared at Legolas. They whispered a couple of things to each other, then Endomiel grabbed her bag. 'Okay, we'll be leaving now, don't mind us, just go on with whatever you two were doing!' she added and walked out of the door again.
'Or were planning on doing!' Legolas grinned and winked at Éomer, then he left too, closing the door behind him. Éomer turned back to me, then let go of my arms and stepped back.
'I'm sorry about that. I was a bit rash. I didn't hurt you, did I?' he asked.
'You didn't.'
'I hope you're not mad at me.'
'I'm not.'
'So it's okay?'
'Absolutely' We moved closer again, and he wrapped his arms around me.
'You sure we're not going to fast? After all, we just met.' Éomer whispered. I smiled.
'Well then it's good to know that we're not wasting any time' I whispered back. He leaned forward again, and whaddayaknow. the door flew open again.
'Hey Éomer are you in here I- oh, never mind, I'll come back later.' Frodo said as he stormed in. I'm not even going to bother to say anything about this anymore, today is just TOO weird.
'You don't have to leave, Frodo' Éomer said.
'What, I'm supposed to stand here and watch you two?' Frodo answered. Éomer smiled at me.
'That might not even be such a bad idea.' he replied.
'Forget it, I'm leaving'
'No wait, why were you looking for me?'
'Uhm, nothing important, it can wait. you're uhm. busy anyway' Éomer raised an eyebrow.
'Are you sure it's not important?' he asked.
'Well, actually it is, but. you have. other. things to do right now than to help me with my problem.'
'Problem?' Éomer and I asked at the same time.
'Well uhm. you see, it's.' Frodo started.
'Frodo, if you have a problem and need help it's okay. We all need help with things sometimes, even you, so don't be afraid to ask for it' I interrupted.
'I'm not afraid to ask for it, I just. didn't mean to interrupt anything.'
'It's okay, really. The year's far from ended, Éomer and I will have plenty of chances to catch up the time we lost now, I'm sure of that.'
'I'll make sure of that.' Éomer grinned and leaned forward again. Frodo cleared his throat.
'I'm sure you will Éomer, now are you going to help me?' he said. Éomer pulled a disappointed face for a moment, then let go of me and stepped back.
'Yeah, sure' he said and walked towards Frodo. 'So what do you need help with?'
'It's uhm. well, uhm.' Frodo started, then looked uncomfortably in my direction.
'It's okay, go!' I said smiling at them, then gestured for them to leave the room. Frodo left first, followed by Éomer. Right before he closed the door he turned around. He winked at me. He turned to Frodo again and closed the door. Did anyone else notice how sexy Éomer is when he winks like that? Probably not, but trust me, it's sexy. Really sexy. It also took away all doubts. Éomer is the only guy with a place in my heart, Éomer and no one else. And when I say no one, that includes Glorfindel. Good, now I can get back to plainly hating Mr. Poncy. See how great Éomer is? He solved all of my problems by simply being around.
I left the room. I had about thirty minutes until I was supposed to be in the mess, but I didn't really know what to do. I walked out of the dormitory and headed for the forest. I wanted to take some time to think about everything that had happened today, straighten things out for myself. I had been walking for about twenty minutes, thinking about things, when I saw somebody else. I walked over to the person, it was Glorfindel, fully equipped with bow and arrows.
'Hi Glorfindel, going somewhere?' I said.
'Nowhere in particular.'
'Why not?'
'I'm going hunting' he answered. I couldn't resist, I just *had* to say something annoying about that.
'Hunting for what? Balrogs?' I said, grinning widely. He fiercely grabbed one of my wrists and pulled me towards him, until there was only an inch of distance left between us. I tried to get my wrist loose, but he was really strong, and he only held it tighter, almost as if he was trying to crush it. And by the way it felt, he was about to succeed too.
He looked me straight in the eyes. I was surprised to see that there wasn't much anger in them. In fact, there were so much emotions in his eyes, he was arguing with himself whether or not to say something, or do something, or a combination of both for that matter.
"Kick him!!!"
NO!!!
"Why not?"
I'll get in trouble!
"You can say that he was sexually harassing you!"
I can't lie, you know that! And he isn't doing that!
"Not yet."
Shut up!
"Be reasonable, the way he acted earlier today. he was hitting on you."
No he wasn't.
"He tried to seduce you."
NO HE DIDN'T!!! SHUT UP!!!
"He kissed your ear, if that isn't seducing."
It was just a kiss, an accident!
"It wasn't an accident, you and I both know it."
SHUT UP!!!
"That's what it starts with: a kiss on the ear. then on the cheek, then in the neck. and suddenly all your clothes are gone. if he didn't have the intention to eventually end up like that, then the Titanic didn't sink"
Well maybe it didn't.
"Who are you fooling anyway? Yourself?"
No! He didn't have the intention to do that! He's married!
"Do you have any idea how many married men cheat on their wives?"
SHUT UP!!!
"You know what? I think you like being with Glorfindel. You like him, admit it. you like it, don't you, you like it when he touches you, you want him, want him so bad."
SHUT UP!!!
"Why are you denying it?"
It's not true and you know it! What are you doing anyway, you're supposed to be on my side!!!
"I'm the voice inside your head, I do what I want."
Obviously.
"Hey! If you're not going to kick him, use your magic"
I can't!
"Why not?"
I'd have to use strong magic! He'll notice that! They'll get suspicions! They'll find out what I really am, who I really am!
"So?"
That's not supposed to happen!
"Why not?"
I'll get all evil creatures in Middle-Earth after me!
"You're a Goddess, you can handle it."
Just go.
"Fine"
Annoying voice in my head. it's supposed to be on my side. did some evil creature send it to me or something? All that time Glorfindel kept looking me in the eyes, arguing with himself as well. Are voices inside your head contagious or something? Suddenly he let go of my wrist and walked away. Okay. I don't think I'll ever understand that git. Hah! I called him a git! I can still do it! I still hate him! *sticks out tongue to voice inside her head* See? I'm not in love with him. Besides, he nearly crushed my wrist, that's not exactly what I would call sweet and caring either. He's a jerk, and I knew it all along. My wrist was turning slightly blue. Great, now how do I explain that to everybody? Uh-oh. I'm supposed to be in the mess in about 30 seconds. I ran back to the dormitory, into the mess. Nobody there yet, thank Goddess.
'Hello Lady Aure, good of you to come in time' Elrond said as he walked into the mess, followed by Galadriel.
'The reason that you had to be here is because we need to get the information correctly to the students' Galadriel added.
'Oh, uhm. fine with me, I think.'
'You don't have to stay on stage, if you're worried about that. All you have to do is write down what happened and we'll use that as our resource' Elrond said.
'Alright, do you have some paper for me?'
Galadriel handed me two sheets of paper and I wrote down in short what had happened. The first students had already entered the mess when I was done writing. Elrond told me that I didn't have to stay, so I left the mess again, looking for something to do. I couldn't go see anybody, because they were all in the mess. Well, the freshmen anyway, and I don't know any second-year students or seniors.
I sat down in the grass on the lawn, then lay down. After a while some of the guys sat down next to me and started talking about the questions that Elrond and Galadriel had asked. Shortly after that Endomiel and Legolas joined us, and a little while later we were sitting on the lawn with a big group of people, waiting for the investigation to finish so we could go back inside. Galadriel and Elrond are sure making a fuss about it, I mean, it's not like I got killed or anything. okay, almost, but I'm still alive.
After about an hour people started going back inside. I guess they're done now. I stood up about ten minutes later to go back to the forest, but ran into Éomer (again) on the stairs outside.
'Hey, I was looking for you' he said.
'Again?'
'Yeah, again'
'You found me'
'I sure did'
'So why were you looking for me?'
'I wanted to talk to you'
'About what?'
'Us'
'Is there an "us"?'
'Not yet.' Éomer smiled (or grinned, more a combination of both actually), then took a step towards me and wrapped his arms around my waist (again). He leaned forward to kiss me.
'Hey Éomer! Thanks for your help!' Frodo shouted at Éomer as he walked into the dormitory. Éomer pulled an annoyed face.
'What did you help him with?' I asked.
'Oh, nothing.'
'Why won't you tell me?'
'I can think of nicer things we could be doing right now.' he grinned. He's sexy when he does that.
'Is that all you can think about?'
'Well, no. it's just that when I'm around you all other things on my mind go blurry and I can hardly resist the urge to kiss you'
'Hardly?'
'Okay, not at all.' he leaned forward again.
'Well maybe we should practice a little then. like. first you tell me what you helped Frodo with, then we kiss'
'I don't think I can wait that long'
'You'll have to'
'Can't we kiss first, then talk, then kiss again?'
'No'
'Do you really have to be so cruel?'
'The longer you keep whining the longer it will take before I let you kiss me, or maybe if you wait too long I'll decide that I don't want your kiss at all.'
'Well in that case. Frodo went to the dance with this hobbit-girl yesterday and he's seeing her again tonight and he needed some advice'
'That was the big mysterious problem? He has a date with Rosa?'
'Uh, yeah.'
'That's nice. I hope it will work out for him'
'I'm sure it will.' he leaned forward again. We were about to kiss when suddenly Legolas ran into us and ran on, leaving us to fall. Éomer fell right on top of me. Endomiel ran after Legolas shouting something like "GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE! RIGHT NOW!!!".
'Ouch.' I moaned softly as I hit the ground, and moaned again when Éomer landed on top of me.
'Are you okay?' Éomer asked as he pushed himself up, his arms on either side of me.
'Do you think it's a sign?' I asked.
'What?'
'Well, that every time we're about to kiss, something happens and stops us.' I explained. He looked down at me and smiled.
'I don't think that's a sign. The position we ended up in is a sign.' he leaned down to kiss me, when somebody decided to cough.
'You two sure know how to have fun, don't you?' Estel grinned. Éomer rolled off of me and sat up straight. I followed his example and sat up too. We exchanged looks.
'It's a sign'
'Definitely'
'What are you two talking about?' Estel asked.
'Never mind' I answered. I turned to Éomer. 'So I'll see you later?'
'Yeah, I'll see you later' he answered, then he stood up and walked away.
'Okay, I didn't get that.' Estel said.
'Of course you didn't' I replied as I walked away, leaving him behind with a confused look on his face.
Okay, how come I keep ending up alone today? How come everything that happens today is completely weird? How come that I feel as if I ended up in some kind of alternate universe? How come Éomer and I keep getting interrupted? How come Glorfindel's acting all weird? How come- okay I'll stop now.
I stood up, trying to figure out what to do now. I decided to go for *another* walk. I headed for the forest. After about five minutes I saw somebody else walking alone. Was that. Boromir?
'Boromir! Wait up!' I shouted and ran over to him. When he saw me, he turned and started walking away from me. I ran on until I caught up with him, which wasn't very hard thanks to my Elven agility. 'Is something wrong? Why are you avoiding me?' Silence. He looked down at his feet and said naught. We stood there for a while, silently, waiting for something to happen. And eventually it did. A tear dripped down Boromir's cheek and fell onto the soft moss of the forest. I couldn't believe it, Boromir. crying. Somehow he always seemed like someone who wouldn't do such thing easily, who just kept his sorrow to himself. But I couldn't know it all, nobody can, for he really was crying.
'Maybe I should leave.' I whispered.
'No, don't. don't leave. please.'
'But obviously it is my presence that causes you sadness, maybe it is better if I go'
'If that is your wish.' another tear went down his cheek as he raised his head to face me. There was so much emotion in his eyes, I just couldn't leave him alone, I wanted to help him.
'Will you tell me what's wrong?' I asked.
'I think you already know' he whispered. And I knew. He had helped me, despite his own feelings, but now he couldn't handle the consequences, he had misjudged himself, and it caused him pain.
'Is there anything I could do to help you feel better?'
'You would never do that' he whispered.
'I don't know what to do if you won't tell me what I could do.'
'You wouldn't do that'
'Why won't you just say it first?'
'Because I know that you'll answer will be no'
'How can you be sure?'
'It's not hard to guess'
'What do you want me to do?' I asked. Maybe I already knew what it was, maybe I shouldn't have been so foolish, maybe I shouldn't have pressed on so, maybe it was my own fault, maybe. but I did what I did, and he did what he did. He didn't answer. In stead, he pulled me towards him and pressed his lips on mine.
At that moment I felt all that he felt, felt his heartache. I felt how much desire, passion, love. how he put all that he felt in his kiss. But I didn't respond to it. I did what probably was the worst thing I could've done in that situation: I roughly pushed him away. I saw the pain in his eyes, the sadness, but also the desire to do it again, to give it all he had and more. Tears welled up in my own eyes, pain, sadness, ANGER for what had happened. I had no right to be mad at him, it was my own fault, but somehow I felt betrayed.
'Elvea, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-' he whispered.
'But you did!'
'I answered your question, you told me to do that.'
'Not like that!'
'I knew you'd say that.'
'And still you did it.'
'I couldn't help myself, I. I.'
'You should have!'
'I'm sorry!'
'No you're not. You did exactly what you wanted to do. Don't tell me you're sorry for something that you don't regret' I said icily, then I turned and started walking away.
'Elvea, wait!'
I ignored him, not thinking about how he felt but about what I felt, something I shouldn't have done, and I regret it, but I can't undo what is done. He started following me, grabbed my arm. I pushed him away for the third time that day. I started walking again, then suddenly I started running as if I'd gone crazy, as if I would get rid of the unwanted emotions, as if it would help me.
It didn't take long for my disease to take the best of me and I stopped running, leaned against a tree to get some fresh air in my lungs. Realization of what I had done finally struck me. Somewhere deep down I hoped that Boromir had followed me, that I could apologize, that he'd forgive me for my foolishness. But he didn't come after me, or had given up the chase. Tears slowly crept down my face, I hated myself for everything that I'd done from the moment I ran to ask him what was wrong.
'Elvea, what happened?' I didn't need to look up to know that it was Éomer. He lifted my head with his right hand so that I was facing him. 'Are you alright?'
'I am. but he isn't.' I whispered.
'Who isn't?'
'I've been a fool. I hurt him beyond chance to heal. I did something unforgivable.'
'What are you talking about? Who are you talking about? What's going on? Surely you could tell me.' Could I tell him? Would I, if I told him, hurt him too? What if I lose him forever this time? I'd lose everything because of my own foolishness.
'I can't. I can't tell you. it's unforgivable. he'll never forgive me, and you won't either.' I whispered.
'That's not up to you to judge. Just tell me, I promise, I won't get mad at you, Mordor, I couldn't, not even if I wanted to' his words allowed a faint smile to show on my face.
'Promise?'
'I promise'
'Boromir kissed me and it's my fault'
'He what?! But if he did it, how can it be your fault?'
'Because I. because I wanted to help. but I pressed him into the wrong direction. He said I'd never do the one thing that would make him feel better, but I kept pressing, saying that he couldn't know, and then he did it, and.' I started crying again.
'Sssh. don't cry. I'm sure he can forgive you for that.' he wrapped his arms around me, I lay my head on his shoulder. He started to stroke my back slowly to soothe me. 'I don't think he minds that you drove him to kiss you. I don't think he could be mad at you for doing something like that.' he whispered the words soothingly in my ear.
'No. you don't understand.'
'Why not?'
'Because I. I pushed him away! I pushed him away and got mad at him, shouted at him! I pressed him to do it and then I got mad at him! I hurt him so bad. he'll never forgive me.' tears ran down my face like waterfalls. Éomer pressed me closer against him.
'Are you afraid that he won't forgive you, or can't you forgive yourself?' he whispered.
'I. I.'
'Forgive yourself, let it go. and next time you see him, you make it up, tell him you regret it. Tell him that you don't mind if he'll hate you for the rest of his life, that it was your own fault, but that you regret doing it.' he whispered.
'Do you think he'll listen?'
'I don't know, but it sure is worth a try'
'And what about you, aren't you mad at me?'
'Why would I? I have no reason to. after all, we're not together or anything, I have no right to be mad at you.'
'Éomer?'
'Yes?'
'Please don't go.' he laughed for a moment, softly.
'I wasn't planning to go anywhere. in fact, I can see the positive side to this whole incident.'
'There isn't a positive side.'
'Yes there is. it drove you right into my arms, didn't it?' I could feel him smile, and I closed my eyes, holding him tightly, a content smile slowly creeping up my face.
We stood there for a while, holding each other tightly, not speaking but listening to the breathing of the other, enjoying each other's presence. Eventually we sat down and leaned back against a tree. Or actually, Éomer leaned against the tree, I lay my head on his chest and he put his arm around my waist, letting his free hand run through my hair. Sitting like that, we watched the sun disappear behind the trees. It had gotten pretty dark before we stood up and headed back to the dormitory.
As we approached the building, we saw a figure sitting in the shadow of a tree on the lawn. We both knew who it was, even without looking at his face. Éomer squeezed my hand slightly, wordlessly saying "go talk to him, you can do it". He let go of my hand and walked into the dormitory, leaving me and Boromir alone. I walked over to him and sat down next to him, waiting for him to say something. We sat there for at least an hour, not even saying a single word. In the end, I didn't care what we would say, as long as he'd say something, no matter how cruel.
'I've been thinking.' he finally started. I turned my head to look at him. 'We were both out of line' I nodded. 'I wanted to confess to you that I really enjoyed doing it, even without a response, and I'd do it again anytime. but then I realized that I would hurt more than just myself if I'd do that. I'd hurt myself, because I'd know that it will always be a one sided love, that you'll never love me in the same way as I love you. I'd hurt you for doing it, it would confuse you, make you feel guilty that you can never honestly response to it. and I would hurt Éomer, for taking and hurting that what he cares for more than anything' he fell silent, searching for more words.
'You should never say never.'
'What do you mean?'
'Not all love lasts forever, and even though I have strong feelings for Éomer right now, they might all be gone in the morrow. and you know what I told you yesterday. Never say never'
'But your feelings won't all be gone in the morning'
'There is nobody in the world who can see the future for sure, Boromir'
'Maybe not. but I don't have much hope' he looked down at his hands as he said those words, and I knew that if I wouldn't do something, he'd cry again. I reached for his chin and turned his face towards mine.
'Don't you ever give up hope, no matter how little you have left. Not in this case, not in any other. who knows what might happen. the smallest things can change the course of the future'
'Are you saying that because you believe in it, or are you just trying to make me feel better?'
'I believe in it. Have faith in yourself, have faith in others, stay true to yourself and you'll get what you deserve' We fell silent again. I still wanted to apologize to him, but I couldn't find the right words for it. It took me ten minutes to figure out what I was going to say. 'I uh. I still owe you an apology, I know that what happened earlier, that I led it to what happened myself, that it was my own fault, and I shouldn't have shouted at you, treated you so poorly for something I caused myself. If you don't want to forgive me, I understand and I'll accept it, even if it means that you'll hate me forever. If you do forgive me, I think I'd. I'd do almost anything to earn the right to be forgiven.' I hesitated at the last bit, but I meant it.
'You didn't have to ask for forgiveness, I forgave you the moment you came back, sitting next to me. I can't be mad at you, you led the situation there, but I could've answered normally in stead of being so rash. I'm sorry too'
'You didn't have to do that'
'It felt right.'
'It felt right, but are you feeling any better, are you feeling better than earlier today?'
'It doesn't matter how I feel, I just want you to be happy, no matter what'
'I don't want my happiness cause pain to a friend either, I couldn't live with that. I want to make your pain go away, but I don't know how.'
'If you could take away the love I feel for you.'
'I can't do that, I don't know how.'
'But you would do it for me, no matter what the consequences are?'
'There are few things I wouldn't do to see my friends happy'
'I shouldn't be asking this. I shouldn't. I really shouldn't, I know that. but I'm gonna do it anyway, and I'll accept any answer you'll give me'
'Ask your question, no matter how wrong it may be, I'll listen and answer, I owe you that much'
'Will you?'
'I'll answer, even if I don't like the question. If you'll ask what you want to know, then I'll answer, it's as simple as that'
'So be it. If I. would you. this isn't going to work. could you give me five minutes of happiness, to last on for the rest of my life if fate has it that way? If I'd kiss you now, would you kiss me back?' his cheeks turned red of shame for what he had asked. I started thinking, I said I'd do nearly anything to see him happy, and if this was the one thing he wanted. would I do it? Boromir misunderstood my silence. 'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked, I-'
'Boromir, shut up!'
'I'm sorry, I-'
'I promised I'd answer your question, and I intend to keep my word'
'Oh, I thought that.'
'I know you did.' I took a deep breath to answer his question, thinking over for the last time what I would say. 'I would do it' his eyes turned big of amazement.
'You would?' I nodded.
'I would.'
Boromir leaned forward to put his words into action, wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. His warm breath brushed over my lips and he started taking away all space left between us. Then suddenly he turned back and leaned against the tree. He closed his eyes and sighed softly. He stood up and took my hand, pulled me to my feet. He softly kissed my hand. I looked up at him surprised.
'That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me' he whispered.
'I didn't do it. we didn't do it.'
'You gave me an honest answer, your words were enough.'
'You're stealing my lines!' I joked. His eyes twinkled.
'I couldn't help but repeat what you said this morning, because it's just true'
'So we're even now?'
'I think so.' he thoughtfully said, then grinned. 'But I could of course also abuse the situation and kiss you anyway' his eyes twinkled again, and I laughed.
'I suppose you could'
'But I'm not going to' he offered me his arm. 'Mind if I escort you to your room?'
'It would be an honor' I lay my hand on his arm and we walked back into the dormitory, stopping in front of my room. 'Goodnight Elvea'
'Goodnight Boromir' I opened the door and walked into my room. I didn't turn on the lights, all the other girls were sleeping already and I can see fine in the dark.
I changed into my nightgown and sat down on my bed, turning on the little lamp next to my bed. That's when I started writing. Today was pretty weird, I'm still suspecting this to be one big dream. I'll just read this tomorrow morning to see if it really happened. No wait, it's already tomorrow. Well in that case I'm going to get some sleep now, tomorrow, no today classes start again and I don't want to get in trouble for falling asleep during class.
Kisses and goodnight, Elvea.
Phew. that's done for now. damn, I just discovered that this is my longest chappie ever! That's what happens when inspiration strikes. Damn plot bunnies. Yes, even that Glorfindel-incident *shudders* is relevant to the plot. I've done something horrible! I made Glorfindel important to my plot! I think I'll just go kill myself for doing such a terrible thing. well, despite the Glorfindel-thing and the title I hope I didn't scare you too much and that you've enjoyed it anyway. done blabbering now 'cause I don't know what else to say here except for my usual plea for reviews, so R&R please!!!