Queen of Pigs Chapter 3: One step forward, a ranma fanfic

[Standard Disclaimer+2 of Lawyer Slaying: Alright, who wants some?! waves the disclaimer menacingly Thaaat's right; didn't think so... Okay, listen up! I don't own 'em, i just write 'em! That's just the way it is, and by Takahashi-sama, if anyone out there has something to say about it, they can speak to the swor- looks down -er, pen... keyboard? Whatever... O_o;... Okay, bye now! runs for cover

~Eimii]

Queen of Pigs

A Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction

Chapter Two: One step forward, two steps back, and sort of an odd shuffle to the side...

Why is it that the boys never get kidnapped like this?

It seemed horribly unfair to Akane that whenever some vengeful rival, member of foreign royalty, oni, ghost, or geriatric pervert came to town, looking to abduct/marry/fondle/consume someone, they invariably chose a girl as their victim. Except when they grab Ranma, I guess... But that was neither here nor there; they usually regretted the mix-up later.

It was still downright sexist and degrading. No matter how much the kidnapper hyped the whole deal about being chosen as an 'honor' or a 'compliment,' she couldn't think of many other experiences that were quite as humiliating. Sure, the boys had their fair share of being led on, tricked, enchanted, possessed, and cursed, but that happened to everyone... didn't it?

"Aargh, I've been hanging around all these weirdoes that baka brought with him for too long..." Shaking her head in disgust, Akane decided to just chalk it up to 'boys being jerks.' The vast majority of the kidnappers were male, after all. The fact that a girl had abducted Shampoo just made it a bit more bizarre, though perhaps slightly less embarrassing, at least in her opinion.

Thinking about strange people, however, brought Akane back to her appointed task. Girding herself for battle, the youngest Tendou sister prepared to enter one of the more notable dens of insanity that had come to characterize contemporary Nerima, the Nekohanten. Cologne would probably be helpful enough once she found out that Shampoo had been shanghaied, and it wasn't like her own home was any more normal.

Hmm... Just a bit less hostile, maybe... Taking a deep breath, the proud heir of the Tendou Musabetsu-kakutou-ryuu brushed aside the store curtain and took a defiant step into the stronghold of the amazon invaders...

...And abruptly stopped, only one foot across the threshold, to stare with almost comically wide eyes at the back of the restaurant. Either Cologne was in the process of wallpapering the room with some very tasteless shag carpeting, or there was something incredibly large, brown, and furry sitting at the rear table.

The lumpy wall of fuzz began to move, slowly lifting a delicate china teacup in a pair of proportionately dainty hooves. Following the fluid vessel, Akane's attention was drawn to a set of jutting tusks and a distinctly porcine snout positioned near the top of the mass.

Well that wasn't much of a kidnapping... she thought, edging a hair further away when the giant boar's beady little eyes flickered over to focus on her. They lingered on Akane only briefly before returning to the small table that the pig loomed over. There, in the shadow of the great animal, sat Cologne and the blonde girl from before. They were discussing something of significant gravity, if the crone's hard gaze was any indication...

Then again, they might've been discussing the weather, or the best tea to serve to hostages; Cologne's gaze was always hard. White noise from the TV in the corner and the curious murmurs of the remaining, spectacle-hungry patrons of the cafe made it hard for Akane to discern what the elder was saying, but occasionally the girl would nod or shake her head, both gestures betraying an urgent, skittish air about the newcomer. Slowly advancing on the rear table, Akane got her first good look at Shampoo's 'kidnapper.'

She was very... blonde, for one. Her thick tresses were a rich, golden hue, with a healthy luster and a blending of shades that spoke of heredity rather than design. Such beautiful hair... it seemed a shame that she apparently hadn't taken a comb to it in days. Hanging to the line of her jaw, it billowed like a lion's mane in the back, tamed only by a band of black and green patterned cloth that was pulled across the top and tied into a long-tailed knot at the nape of her neck. In the front, a wind-teased curtain of fringe hid her eyes in shadow.

Her skin was lightly tanned, and her face, though attractive, had an odd, slightly sharp cast that struck Akane as a bit... wild, almost. The yearning, lost expression that she wore completed a profile that, while painted with exotic allure, was soft and vulnerable enough not to be threatening. Wonderful, another cute girl for Ranma to compare me to every chance he gets, Akane mused acidly.

From the neck down the view was a just a smidgen less striking. She wore a loosely fitted, Chinese-style saffron tunic with ties down the left side. It was belted at the waist, the remaining fabric falling in gentle folds over top of her earthy brown pants. Worn and faded, the clothes gave her a rustic look, and were very reminiscent of how the amazons and the other China travelers normally dressed.

Another amazon, maybe? That would explain the hair, and maybe why she'd decide to 'abduct' Shampoo to the Nekohanten... It didn't shed much light on how the giant pig fit in, but Akane wasn't really sure she wanted to know the story behind that one. Aside from the boar, none of the occupants of the table seemed to take note of her approach, though she wouldn't bet on her ability to sneak up on Cologne. Still, feeling slightly curious about the affairs of the amazons, Akane paused just as she came within earshot of their hushed conversation.

"... certain there is nothing more you can tell me?" Cologne was asking. At the girl's hesitant but affirming shake of the head, Cologne looked down and closed her eyes, a put upon sigh lending emphasis to the near-unreadable expression on her wrinkled face. "You haven't given me much to go on, child. There are a myriad of ways that the curse of Jusenkyou can become locked, but permanently, and with no other side effects? There is magic involved here, but what magic I cannot say..."

Jusenkyou? Locked?! What...

The girl's expression fell at Cologne's admission. She opened her mouth then hesitated, like she had something else to say, but she wasn't sure she wanted to. Seeming to notice this internal struggle, the boar grunted in an almost somber manner, stooping down to place a consoling hoof on her shoulder. Glancing up at the contact, a half-dozen emotions flickered across the girl's face in an instant. As she turned her head to face Cologne again, her gaze happened across Akane, watching them.

Freezing like a deer caught in the of headlights of a semi, the blonde stared at her for several seconds, her face slowly settling into a mask of mute horror. Then, as if confirming Akane's initial impression that she looked like a spooked animal, she bolted from her seat and disappeared under the table.

"Huh?! What-? Who-?" A glance up at the boar revealed a look of confusion mirroring her own. Well, not exactly like hers, that sounded like something Ranma would say, but a close enough approximation to make it clear that the beast had no idea what had just happened. "Who was that?!" Akane finished, turning her questing gaze to Cologne.

The amazon elder, on the other hand, just looked mildly disgusted. "That, child, was-" Cologne paused, her gigantic eyes narrowing to squint carefully at Akane. "-nobody you know. Just a simple traveler that you shouldn't pay any mind to, because you've never met her before. Ever. Any resemblance that she bears to anyone you know is completely coincidental."

"Er... okay..." Akane couldn't help but feel a little suspicious of the amazon's brush off. Cologne's speech was halting and stilted, like she were reading from a script, and even she sounded rather dubious. Also, now that Akane looked closer, she realized Cologne wasn't peering at her at all. Rather, her scrutiny seemed to be focused on something just over Akane's shoulder.

Spinning on her heel, Akane was again confronted by the blonde girl. How'd she get behind me? she wondered, resisting the urge to take her eyes off the girl to look at the table. Standing considerably shorter than Akane, probably not even as tall as Ranma-chan or Shampoo, she looked torn between frantically trying to conceal a large wooden sign behind her back and trying to hide herself behind it instead. The sign was flipped around, but Akane had a pretty good idea of what was written on it.

As they stared at each other, Akane trying to decide which bizarre behavior to question first, or whether to just leave well-enough alone, a slender arm slipped between them to touch the girl's face. Gently tilting up the smaller girl's chin, Shampoo glided up beside her and attempted to kiss her on the cheek.

This seemed to startle the blonde into action. Scooting away from the amazon, she flipped the sign around, holding it protectively in front of her. Rather than revealing what Akane had suspected, however, it instead read, 'No, wait! Don't give me the-' SMASH

Akane didn't get a chance to read the rest, as Shampoo swept the sign from the girl's hands with a single swing of the bonbori. Backing away, the blonde reached behind her and somehow produced another one. 'You don't understand! I didn't-' CRUNCH

'Give me a second to-' SNAP

"Ah, great-granddaughter, you're awake. I don't suppose I need to ask how your date with Mukou-dono went?"

'Please, listen to me! This is just a-' BASH

"Yes, is so sad, but Shampoo feel much better in just one second."

'STOP! It wasn't-' WHOOSH

Akane hastily leaned to the side, allowing the errant sign to fly past her. With the other patrons of the restaurant, she continued to watch curiously as the girl held up sign after sign, only to have Shampoo destroy each one without even reading it.

'I DIDN'T-' BOOM

"What crazy pig girl think she is, stupid panda man?! Hold still so Shampoo can give Kiss of Death!"

'NOT ME! THE PIG DID IT! THE PIG!' Shampoo couldn't quite reach this last sign, as by now the girl had been forced to the back of the restaurant and was standing on the table in front of the boar. In her other hand she held a sign with a giant red arrow painted on it, pointing to the pig in question.

"I'm afraid she's right great-granddaughter," Cologne interrupted, stopping Shampoo's weapon with her staff just before it would have split the table. "From looking at your injuries, I would have to conclude that the boar defeated you, not her, and the laws regarding the Kiss of Death do not apply to animals."

Halting her assault, Shampoo looked beseechingly at Cologne, but received only a flat stare from the elder. Scowling, she returned her attention to the blonde girl and the boar, her gaze growing livid. "Fine. Pig-loving girl not worth killing anyway, but Shampoo still think tomorrow, Nekohanten special should be too-too delicious roast pig..."

At the amazon's threatening tone, the giant boar actually stood and backed away a step, lowering its head defensively. The girl cowering in front of it, however, had gone deathly pale, and looked like she was about to be sick. That's an awfully harsh reaction, Akane thought, but I guess it's no different from when Shampoo tried to feed Ranma poor little P-chan. What is it with her and cooking other people's pets?

Still, something didn't seem quite right with this picture. Wait... weren't they talking about Jusenkyou earlier? Something about a curse getting locked? With a start, Akane turned first to the terrified blonde who was staring in horror at Shampoo as though the other girl had just announced that they were about to eat her family for dinner, then back to the titanic beast that was trying to interpose itself between them, glaring down the amazon from across the table as if calling her bluff. Oh no! Could it... could it be that...?

"Shampoo, what have I told you about threatening to cook guests?" Cologne interjected in a slightly impatient tone, shooting her great-granddaughter a disapproving look.

The Chinese girl broke off her staring contest with the pig to look at the elder's face, then quickly lowered her gaze to her feet. "... Never in restaurant," she admitted meekly. "Many apologies, great-grandmother, Shampoo forget."

Cologne regarded her abashed heir with a measuring eye before finally relenting. "Please see that you do not forget again," she chastised gravely in their native tongue. "The local health inspector is suspicious enough already without us giving him reason to wonder about what's in the ramen. Speaking of which, perhaps you should go see if your father has any deliveries waiting for you in the back."

"Yes, great-grandmother," Shampoo gushed with a sigh of relief, bowing low to the elder. Then, after shooting the blonde and the pig one last murderous glare out of the corner of her eye, the amazon bounced off into the kitchen area.

Ryouga was glad to see her go. Having been momentarily assailed by memories of the numerous times that she had nearly been eaten herself, Ryouga's jaw was tight with anger and shame. She watched the other girl's retreating back like a hawk. Even if it hadn't been her that Shampoo wanted to cook this time, she suspected that she'd be seeing cackling purple-haired amazons in her nightmares again for quite a while.

Stooping to get down off of the table and continue her conversation with Cologne, Ryouga came face to wide-eyed face with Akane. Releasing a tiny, inarticulate squeak of surprise, the blonde backpedaled until she was once again pressed against the unmoving bulk of the boar. Akane had been so quiet since Shampoo had started attacking that Ryouga had nearly forgotten about her.

NONONONONO! What do I say!? What should I do?! I can't let her find out it's me! Just Cologne knowing about her curse was bad enough, but the lost girl couldn't stand the thought of anyone else discovering that she was stuck as a girl, especially Akane or Ranma.

The beast seemed to sense her agitation. Ryouga could feel powerful muscles that weren't her own grow tense against her skin, primal violence embodied, restrained only by her touch. Its coat was coarse and thick; the animal scent of it filled her nostrils and clung to her clothes, but just this once she didn't mind. She wanted to disappear into that jungle of fur and fleas and musk, never to be seen again.

Akane just stared at her, not saying a word, and Ryouga dared to dream that just maybe she hadn't figured it out. The painfully familiar look on the brunette's face, however, brought this fragile hope crashing down in flames. It was a look she'd been given so many times before, the first favor that Akane had shown her and the last that she ever wanted to deserve.

Pity... so close to sympathy, but also to disdain. Ryouga didn't want to be pitied, especially not by Akane. When her beloved looked at her that way, it always made Ryouga feel angry and powerless, yet somehow warm and protected, secure and insecure at the same time. It was so confounding; how could she ever hope to truly win Akane's love, if she couldn't even win her respect?

Whenever Ranma somehow eked out a victory over her, Akane pitied her. Whenever Ranma picked on her when she was P-chan, Akane pitied her. Whenever Ranma managed to trick her into thinking that somebody actually cared about her, Akane pitied her. But if Akane found out that she was stuck as a girl, Ryouga was afraid that Akane would never stop pitying her...

"R-Ryouga-kun? Is that you?!" Akane stuttered in shock, pointing an accusing finger at the lost girl. Ryouga shook her head vehemently, refusing to meet Akane's gaze, not uttering a word for fear of giving herself away.

The heir of the Tendou dojo was not so easily fooled. "It is you!" Leaning forward to take a closer look at the blonde, Akane's face twisted into a mask of confusion. "You're a... girl? Ryouga-kun, how did this happen?" A look of realization flashed across Akane's face, and she stifled a small gasp of horror behind her hand. "Oh no, did you get lost and fall in Jusenkyou?"

"A-Akane," Ryouga squeaked, but she could say no more, her vocal cords seized by panic and dread. Raising her head to meet Akane's stare, hoping that her face could say what her voice could not, Ryouga suddenly felt a warm, trickling sensation down the back of her head.

Spinning, she found a puzzled Ranma standing above her with a tipped teakettle in his hand. "Huh, what's the deal? If ya really are bacon boy, that should'a changed ya back, unless yer... Hey, are ya stuck like that?!"

Momentarily distracted by the pigtailed boy's sudden appearance, the blonde girl was caught off guard when Ranma crouched down and pulled open the front of her shirt, only to stare in confusion at the plain white bra underneath. Ryouga slapped his hands away, hastily closing the ties and glowing with mortification, but before she could do more to the pigtailed boy, he flipped out of range, landing behind Akane. "Huh, looks like she's stuck, Akane," he quipped quizzically.

When he turned back to the fuming lost girl, Ranma wore a superior smirk. "When did'ja start wearin' stuff like that, P-chan? D'ya like bein' a girl that much?" he goaded, casting her a disgusted look.

Temper flaring, Ryouga leapt to her feet, an angry retort on the tip of her tongue. Much to her chagrin, however, she found she could no more speak now than she could a moment ago. Barely able to croak out a cry of frustration, Ryouga could only gnash her teeth viciously at the pigtailed boy, her face going as red as Ranma's shirt. Curling her fingers like claws, she prepared to lunge at her hated rival's throat.

"I'm so sorry, Ryouga-kun..."

Akane's quavering, dulcet tones, tinged with regret in the wanderer's ears, brought Ryouga up short. The blond girl's head snapped over to the source of the voice, and Ryouga felt her resolve crumble under the sad resignation in Akane's eyes. Eyes filled with pity for the poor lost girl; always just for her. She never looked at Ranma that way.

Why can't you ever believe in me...?

Ryouga wanted to tell Akane that she would be alright, that she would find a cure and everything would work out in the end. She wanted to beg Akane to have faith her, because she would never do anything to disappoint her. The words just wouldn't come; she could barely manage a strangled sob, like her leaden heart was caught in her throat. Ryouga wanted to scream.

"Even..." Akane continued hesitantly, offering the forlorn blonde a brittle smile, "even if you can't change back Ryouga-kun, I'll still be your friend..."

The lost girl couldn't help but flinch at the conciliatory tone of Akane's voice. Akane would be there for her, because she needed a friend. 'But never anything more,' remained unsaid. Akane didn't think she would ever be a man again; Akane would always pity her, but never really love her, maybe not even as a friend. To Ryouga, the short distance between them suddenly felt like a thousand miles.

"Huh. She don't look too happy, Akane," Ranma opined, ever a master of the obvious. "Maybe we ought'a leave 'er alone fer a bit."

The dark-haired girl looked torn, but just for a moment. "I guess you're right," Akane replied, letting Ranma lead her towards the door. "We'll see you around, Ryouga-chan," she called over her shoulder, sounding happier already.

Ryouga.... -chan? Blanching in horror, Ryouga's whole body almost shook with plaintive denial. She staggered forward, but Akane and Ranma just seemed to retreat that much faster. Wait, don't leave me, Akane! Ryouga screamed in her mind, lips working soundlessly as she reached out to stop them. I can do it! I can find a cure! Let me prove it to you, don't leave me alone!

"Maybe it's better this way, Akane. Didn't ya say that ya felt sorry for whatever girl Ryouga fell in love with? Maybe she'd have better luck catchin' a boyfriend instead..."

"You think so...?"

Almost too stunned to think, the lost girl noticed the shadow out of the corner of her eye just in time to look up and see a dark form flying straight at her. An animal squeal of joy split the air as it leap into her arms, and all Ryouga could do in the instant before she was smashed into the floor was wonder where the boar had found a bandanna that would fit him.

"I- is she okay? I didn't mean to scare her or anything..."

A-Akane...?

"Don't let it trouble you, child." A weary sigh punctuated these words, even as their speaker seemed to grow more distant. "She is... easily upset..."

Who... wha...? Voices cut through the haze of confusion that clouded her thoughts like quicksilver knives, painfully sharp and real, yet impossible to grasp. Concentrating, she tried to focus upon them, hold them in her mind. At first slowly, then with jarring abruptness, the world around her snapped into focus...

...and resolved into a mass of mangy brown fur, a set of beady, bloodshot eyes, tusks, and a wet snout. The world blinked. Emitting a muted scream, Ryouga pitched backwards in the chair she hadn't realized she was sitting in, landing on her butt and scuttling away as fast as her hands and feet would carry her.

She'd only gotten a few feet away from the monstrosity when she found an obstacle behind her, blocking her flight. Even as she tilted her head to look back, strong arms draped over her shoulders from behind and clasped in front, trapping her. The face that greeted her this time filled her with a cold dread that made her long for the previous terror.

"There, there..." Akane cooed, smiling soothingly, "It's all right; nobody's going to hurt you..."

Ryouga tried to recoil from those warm, pitying eyes, but Akane's arms held her fast. Despite her own tremendous strength, hopelessness weighed upon the lost girl like shackles of lead. Unable to meet her beloved's gaze, Ryouga instead looked down at the arms that clutched her to Akane's chest like so many times before.

The sheer irony of it almost made her laugh. Then, she'd always dreamed of Akane embracing her like this, as a person rather than a pet. Now, when she finally got her chance, Ryouga wished it wasn't so. This was no better than being held as P-chan; at least before, Akane hadn't known her shame...

"That's better," the brunette continued, taking the stillness of Ryouga's despair for calm, "see? There's nothing to be afraid of..." Her words were quiet and measured, as if she were speaking to a small child. Akane loosened the embrace then, slightly, leaning over Ryouga's shoulder to look into the blonde's downcast face. "Ne, my name is Akane. Do you want to be friends?"

Ryouga didn't fully register Akane's entreaty, lost as usual in her unhappy thoughts. We can still be friends. Always just friends... her mind echoed hopelessly. Drawing her legs up to her chest, she wished she could become P-chan once more, that she could shrink down into her clothes and just disappear.

Reality, however, failed to oblige. Ryouga was still a girl and was still being held, though Akane's smile was starting to look a little strained. Perhaps growing uncomfortable with the silence, the brunette tried another tack. "Hey, I've told you my name, but I still don't know your name," Akane prodded playfully, ducking her head a bit in an attempt to get the other girl to look her way. "I can't just call my friends 'you' all the time, can I?"

It took a few seconds for this statement to percolate through Ryouga's brain to whatever small part of her was still listening, and then another few for her to extract the important presuppositions necessary for it to make sense. When realization finally struck the lost girl, however, she nearly passed out again from the shock.

With fearful trepidation, one wide, luminous green eye, wet with unshed tears, hazarded to peek out from behind her thick golden bangs, searching the brunette's face for some hint of mocking. Could it possibly be true? Could Akane really not know? Nothing was said for what seemed like a very long time, until the sound of someone clearing their throat broke the silence.

"Ahem... her name," Cologne interrupted, eyes narrowed in impatience, "is Liáng-yà. She is visiting us from China, isn't that right, child?" From the top of her staff, the crone stared pointedly at Ryouga.

Ryouga glanced from one expectant face to the other, disbelief and incomprehension warring for dominance of her own expression. Finally, the blonde gave an uncertain nod of assent.

"'Ren-ya,'" Akane mimicked with only marginal success, struggling with the foreign sounds. For a moment her lips moved silently, as if she were saying the name over again, though Ryouga got the impression that the puzzled look on her face wasn't due to her difficulty with pronunciation.

The expression vanished quickly, Akane's cheerful demeanor returning in full force, though this time a hint of amusement tugged at the corners of her eyes and mouth. "That's a nice name... but I guess you didn't come from the Amazon village, then?"

"And why do you suppose that, child?"

"Well, that's not a..." Akane trailed off lamely as she found herself under the scrutiny of the elder's unnerving, fish-eyed gaze. "It doesn't sound like... uh..."

Coughing a fragile laugh, Akane rubbed the back of her head in embarrassment. "...it's nothing, really. I like it; nothing wrong with Ren-ya." Casting a furtive glance towards the exit, the brunette stood up hastily, taking Ryouga with her. "Actually, I should probably go and tell the boys to stop looking for Shampoo." Maneuvering them back over to the table, she sat the confused and unresisting blonde in a chair, favoring Ryouga with one last friendly smile. "It was nice to meet you. I'll see you around, ne?" Then, with a cheerful wave to Ryouga and a hasty bow to Cologne, Akane was gone, the door chimes tinkling softly with her departure.

Turning slowly away from the space that the love of her life had just vacated, Ryouga met Cologne's bemused expression with her own traditional lost one. 'Liáng-yà?' read the sign that appeared in her right hand, in passable roman letters.

"Write it in Chinese, child," the crone replied simply, in her native tongue.

Chinese? Hmm... liáng is probably 'good,' if it's mandarin, and then yà would be... Painting the characters onto a new sign, comprehension dawned on the blonde's face. Ooh... She held up the board for a final inspection before turning it to Cologne. 'Ryou ga?' read the hiragana beside her name, written in kanji.

At Cologne's approving nod, the lost girl considered for a moment before flipping the sign around. 'Can Liáng-yà really be an Amazon name?'

The elder shook her head. "Possible, I suppose, but unlikely. It sounds like something a pig farmer would name his son; certainly not the name of a brave Amazon warrior, like Lín-sù or Lù-fâ."

'Oh...'

Turning the corner, Akane struck off at a brisk walk toward Ucchan's. Mousse could be anywhere by now, but knowing her fiancée, Ranma had probably stopped by to mooch a meal and perhaps enlist Ukyou's aid while he was there. It didn't really bother her much, that was just Ranma for you.

Besides, she had more interesting matters to think about at the moment; the girl that Cologne had called 'Ren-ya' for instance. Poor thing... I wonder how it happened. Cologne had been pretty sharp, trying to hide it like that, but Tendou Akane was not so easily fooled. You couldn't deal with Amazons as often as she did without being able to tell when there was something fishy in your pork ramen.

Still, if her suspicions were correct... Thinking back to the horrified look on the blonde's face when Shampoo had threatened to cook the boar, Akane could only shake her head in wonder and pity. As frightened and confused as she was, the girl was still so brave to have come here all the way from China, even with a companion to protect her. Akane couldn't even begin to imagine how hard it must be to be a pig stuck in the body of a human girl...

[Author's Notes: Whew... another chapter posted, and this time in fancy HTML formatting! (Ooooh, shiny...) Unfortunately this marks the end of the relatively smooth sailing in Queen of Pigs; chapter three is still in progress, so it might take a little longer to get the next part out. Hopefully not too long, but... Eheh, did i mention that i have another fic on Fanfiction.net? ^_^; Seriously, though, i'll try to get chapter three done as soon as possible, so please bear with me. Thanks as always to my prereaders, without whom this fic would never have gotten done, much less posted! Please drop me a review or an e-mail or something if you enjoyed this chapter, or hated it, or whatever! C&C is always appreciated ^_^...

And now for our educational point of the day! Don't run! It's interesting, really... Kanji (Chinese semi-ideographic writing characters) can be pronounced many ways. There's the Chinese way, which will vary depending upon dialect, the Japanese way or ways (they more often than not have multiple Japanese pronunciations @_@), and even the Korean way (which isn't so important anymore, as Koreans use them less and less often). This is how 'Ryouga' and 'Liáng-yà?' can be written exactly the same way. (And for those of you that speak some Chinese, those are tone marks: tones 2 for 'liang' and 4 for 'ya,' in Mandarin.)

Wai! See, that wasn't so bad, was it? Thanks for sticking with me this far. ^_^; As a special treat, time for some Omake Theatre...]

"ACHOO!" Wiping her nose on her sleeve, Ranma grumbled softly to herself. "Stupid Akane; didn't hafta splash me too..."

Mousse hadn't been too happy about Ranma 'letting the kidnappers get away.' It'd taken a visit from mister fire hose, courtesy of the Tendou School of Anything Goes Martial Arts Rival Negotiation, to calm him down enough that they could start looking for Shampoo.

It wouldn't have been so bad if Ucchan's had been open; Ukyou was always ready with a warm okonomiyaki and a hot kettle for her whenever she visited. Unfortunately, her 'cute' fiancé was nowhere to be found this afternoon. Perhaps she was still feeling a bit under the weather after that giant pig attack last week...

Frowning, the pigtailed girl carefully steered her thoughts in another direction; no use getting worked up about something that was probably nothing. At least the day wasn't completely shot yet. Ranma couldn't remember the last time that getting attacked by a pretty girl had gotten her out of more trouble than it got her into, but she supposed there was a first time for everything.

She'd been expecting to catch hell from Akane over Shampoo showing up at school, ready for a 'date with airen.' One date wasn't that high a price to pay, when Ryouga's bar of Jusenkyou waterproof soap was on the line, but she doubted Akane would see it that way. She'd have just stolen it again, but Cologne had been holding onto it since that incident, because 'any magic can be dangerous in the hands of the foolish,' and that included just about everyone that Ranma knew.

With Shampoo defeated and kidnapped, however, the subject hadn't even come up. Ranma certainly didn't say anything, and Mousse hadn't gotten to stay human long enough to let it slip. Ranma just prayed that Shampoo, once they found her, wouldn't ham it up too badly, hanging all over him about rescuing her so that they could 'go on too-too romantic date, yes?'

Thinking on it further, Ranma wondered if she couldn't just quit while she was ahead. Though her life was currently almost pain-free, it was practically guaranteed not to stay that way for long whenever the Amazons were involved. Heck, maybe if Mousse somehow managed to save Shampoo, she might even consider giving the poor dope the time of day...

But who was she kidding? When it came right down to it, everyone knew that about the only guy in Nerima you could count on was Saotome Ranma, and eventually she'd have to step in to settle things once and for all; it was a tough being a man among men... especially when you were a woman at the moment, and your clothes were soaking wet, and it was beginning to get a little chilly.

"Maybe I'll just stop by the dojo and change," she muttered with a tooth-chattering shiver. She just couldn't understand how it could be taking so long to find them. It wasn't like ridiculously huge animals could sneak around in a big city like Tokyo without drawing attention to themselves... wait, no, that wasn't true at all. Every giant beast that Ranma had been stalked by so far had managed to sneak into the city without anybody noticing them or making a fuss. What was wrong with people around here? It was probably something in the water...

Maybe she ought to concentrate on the human half of the equation instead. Even in Nerima, freaky little blonde girls waving huge signs around weren't exactly a common commodity (not counting Mariko the combat cheerleader, as she usually only carried individual letters on cards, and she was from a different district anyhow), and Ranma knew of only one purple-haired amazon in the area.

You'd think that, in a land of brunettes, they'd stick out like a sore thumb... but perhaps she was mistaken. Even Kunou, the most unobservant person she knew, had picked out the style rather than the fiery color of her own hair to name his 'osage-no-onna' by. Maybe everybody in Tokyo was colorblind. Ranma wondered how strange it must be to see the world in black and white...

"Inspiration-chan, I swear you've hit that poor child one too many times. Look, she's becoming delusional."

"Oh shush, you!"

"Next thing you know, she'll be spouting off about how her whole life is just some sort of weird story that somebody else made up for their own amusement."

"Mou..."