[Substandard Disclaimer: Well, here's the next chapter, finally -_-;... As usual, i don't own any of the Ranma 1/2 characters, and Takahashi-sama doesn't know i'm borrowing them, so pleeeeease don't tell anyone ^_^; Any comments, criticism's, or anything else you'd like to say about this would be much appreciated! Thanks for reading!
~Eimii]
Releasing a regretful sigh, Ryouga sank deeper into the steaming waters of the furo. Though still pleasant, lately hot baths weren't such a thing of wonder, longing and anticipation as they had been. They just weren't as 'magical' anymore.
She hadn't been expecting it to work, really, but since she didn't know why she was stuck, she could still hope. It only stung a little that again her hopes were dashed before her eyes like a pricked soap bubble. Ryouga and disappointment were old friends.
It was a damn sight better than an icy mountain stream, she mused weakly, slipping under the surface for a moment. That's something she'd had to get used to again. Before he'd gone to China for the first time, Ryouga had washed in cold water more often than not. Hot springs weren't that common, and heating water over a camp fire was usually more trouble than it was worth.
Jusenkyou had changed all that. A tremor of horror slithered down her spine as she broke the surface, eyes closed, shivering to the tips of her toes. That memory was again too fresh in her mind. But this time there was no escape. Damp honeyed locks hung before her eyes when she opened them, and no matter how hot it was, the water would not wash them away.
With a start, she realized that Shampoo was watching her from the doorway. Transfixed by that baleful gaze, it took a moment for it to register that the amazon wore no more than she. Glowing like a hot iron, Ryouga looked away.
It was getting a little easier. She managed to stay conscious, and not to shift around too uncomfortably when Shampoo gave a disdainful sniff and ambled over to the little round stool by the bath. It didn't help that the lavender-haired girl didn't stop looking at her, though.
Ryouga's relationship with Shampoo was relatively straightforward, compared to most of the other girls in her life. She knew where she stood with the amazon; Shampoo hated her. Ryouga had only the vaguest idea why, though.
Was she still angry about that mess at the school? That was stupid and unreasonable, getting so mad over such a little misunderstanding. She hadn't even given Ryouga a chance to explain! The rising irritation she felt helped cool Ryouga's ardor a bit.
It was almost like thinking of Ranma-chan. Sure, there was a naked girl soaping down in front of her, but Ryouga cared so little for Shampoo at that moment that it didn't do anything for her... well, not much, at any rate. She ducked a bit lower and wiped away a trickle of blood under her nose, stirring the bath to dissipate the red stain on the water.
And why didn't Shampoo stop staring?! Even if the she was angry that was downright rude! Ranma had more courtesy than that! Shampoo even had the nerve to stare harder, and look indignant at her when she got up to leave. By now Ryouga was angry enough to tell Shampoo off right there, naked or not... but instead, she clenched her fists in frustration. AAAARGH! Dammit, you're lucky I don't want to have to kill you for giving me the Kiss of Death!
Violently sluicing the excess water from her body with a small towel, Ryouga tried to ignore the other girl, but it was a struggle. With a weapon in her hand, it was hard to keep from taking a swipe at the amazon, and not in that oh-so-funny locker room way that he'd hated so much in junior high.
Stalking into the laundry area just on the other side of the frosted glass door to the bath, Ryouga grabbed for where she'd left her clothes, but found nothing. Huh? The blonde frowned in confusion and started rifling the clothes in the hamper, nearly tearing those she tossed aside as she quivered with rage. They have to be here! I'm almost certain I undressed in this room...
"Great-grandmother said that you'll need some new clothes if you're going to be working here, so I got rid of those slop rags you were wearing," Shampoo called through the open door, a stomach-curdling smack of satisfaction rolling off her words like heavy oil. "It's just as well; I'll bet the only thing that held them on was your own filth. I can't imagine how strange it must feel for you, to actually be clean for once, pig-girl..."
She should never have looked up that first time. Once Shampoo discovered that 'Liáng-yà' understood some of the vile Chinese insults that she spat out when she got frustrated with trying to curse in Japanese, the amazon hadn't said two words to her without tossing in a jab.
THAT'S IT! The lost girl turned to storm back into the bath and... do something unpleasant, she just didn't know what yet. Then Ryouga's eyes fell on her signboards and brushes. It seemed Shampoo hadn't thrown everything out.
Hah! Two can play at this game; I know insults that would make your ears shrivel right off, you amazon bitch! Or maybe your eyes... All she had to do was remember them. Ryouga had never been great at verbal fencing, but she'd spoken with more foul-mouthed sailors and soldiers than any land-locked village girl could possibly imagine. Grabbing a few signs, Ryouga began copying down the nastiest, most indescribably low insults to lineage that she could recall.
"Any amazon warrior will kill you where you stand for that one, you know. And you'd pray for death after what she'd do to you for the next," a familiar, wizened voice observed wryly from somewhere over her shoulder.
The brush clattered to the tiled floor, falling from numb fingers as Ryouga went from smoldering red to deathly white before progressing finally to a sickly green in a single heartbeat. OH DEAR GODS, NO! NONONONONONONO! SPARE ME, I'M TOO YOUNG! Squeezing her eyes shut, Ryouga frantically tried to banish even the tiniest germ of the thought of Cologne bathing from her mind. FORGET THAT! I'LL NEVER BE OLD ENOUGH TO SEE THAT!
Ryouga could hear Cologne pogoing around her as she spoke. "You're shivering like a leaf, child. Have some sense for once and put on some clothes if you're cold."
'Shampoo threw away my clothes,' she replied, turning the sign to face where the elder had stopped; at least, she hoped that's what she said. Her hands were none too steady at the moment.
"Hmm..." Sounds of rustling cloth followed, and she felt something light and silky thrust into her arms. "Put this on for now, I've something to discuss with you." An indignant squawk from the bathroom told Ryouga who the donor of her new clothes was. "Well? Hurry up child, or do you intend to give Mousse a show when he returns? It's doubtful he'd appreciate it, even if you did..."
Mousse? She- she wouldn't... would she? Cracking one eye, Ryouga released a shuddering breath at the sight of Cologne, still by the mercy of the gods fully clothed. Far from a pretty sight, but still better than the alternative.
After practically being stuffed into Shampoo's pants and blouse by the impatient elder, Ryouga followed Cologne into the empty common room of the restaurant. The boar brought them a fresh pot of tea and two cups as they sat, then went back to wiping the tables with a damp cloth.
"Later, I will have to ask you about that one," Cologne remarked conversationally, amusement pinching the corners of her owlish eyes.
An indelicate snort was Ryouga's reply. After getting over the imagined horror of Cologne in her birthday suit, her anger at Shampoo had returned. Even the amazon's displeasure at furnishing the lost girl's replacment clothes was a source of only fleeting satisfaction, as the fit was far from perfect.
Though similar in build, Shampoo was slightly taller and more slender all around, and apparently liked her clothes tight. Resolving to find replacements as soon as possible, Ryouga tried not to move too much; there must be some sort of amazon shallow breathing technique that she didn't know about. 'There was something you needed to talk to me about?' The blonde made her impatience plain on her face, as the sign didn't quite capture it.
"Before we go any farther, put that foolish thing away," the elder snapped, gesturing at the sign with one gnarled finger. "If you cannot take this seriously, then I see no reason why I should go to the effort of aiding you."
Seeing where this conversation might be leading, Ryouga was quick to comply. Has she found something so soon?? Or does she just want to ask me more questions I can't answer? Folding her hands carefully around her teacup, Ryouga did her best to look patient and attentive.
"Better," Cologne conceded doubtfully. "Now then, when you went to Joketsuzoku, whom did you speak with?"
Reaching automatically for the sign, the blonde got a smack on the wrist for her trouble; it didn't hurt, but the old hag must've hit some sort of pressure point with her staff, because her fingers went numb. Scowling, she opened her mouth to protest, then shut it again with an audible click under the elder's withering gaze.
Wait, I didn't tell her I went to the amazon village... Ryouga frowned, peering at Cologne suspiciously. The mummy was playing games with her... and she couldn't do anything about it, she realized, not if she wanted the amazon matriarch's help. Gritting her teeth in frustration, the lost girl looked down at hands, willing them to be still.
A wry grin wrinkled Cologne's raisin of a face. "Has the cat gotten your tongue? Shampoo harps constantly that Mukou-dono's other women cannot understand a proper insult when they hear one, but you don't have that problem, do you? Perhaps she's just taking advantage of having someone around who reacts so amusingly, unlike Mousse..."
Without batting an eyelash at the anger that purpled Ryouga's face, Cologne took a sip from her tea before continuing. "But that is between you and her. If you... do not wish to speak of this now, then so be it." A raised brow accompanied the significant pause. "Perhaps we will talk later, when you are in a more hospitable mood..."
Oooh, that dirty old troll! I... wait, did she just-
"For now, however, I expect your journey was long, even by your standards, and you must be tired," the elder finished in a tone that said that the conversation was at an end. "You may use the attic while you stay here. Rest well, for tomorrow you work for your answers..."
With that, Cologne finished her tea and bounded off into the house, leaving Ryouga to stare into her own untouched cup. Finally, the lost girl just shook her head, huffing an aggrieved sigh. Snatching up the sign like a child grabbing a favorite toy, she stalked toward the stairs to the attic...
Fortunately, the boar found her before she got more than a block away.
Queen of Pigs
A Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction
Chapter Three: Who's leading, anyway...?
Day broke over Nerima in a cool, early autumn haze. It was only an hour since the dawn mist had burned off, and already the streets were alive with the sounds of people going through their Saturday morning routines. Far from the lazy suburb that it seemed at first glance, Nerima slept lightly and woke early. Trouble knew no time or place, just like various other things that involved martial artists; revenge, amazons, marriage, etc.
Unsurprisingly, today's commotion started, or at least spilled into the open, along the old canal road. Residents along that fated thoroughfare locked pets inside and peered warily over their property walls at the small procession that was slowly making its way south, toward the Tendou dojo.
"Are you sure he came this way?" The conservatively dressed teenaged girl with pink highlights in her hair was attractive enough. The nervous worry on her face made her look cute and helpless. But danger could wear a pretty face as easily as a terrible one; this was doubly true in the town where Saotome Ranma lived.
What drew the most scrutiny, however, was her companion. The white and brown pig turned to loom enormously over the girl. With huge, staring eyes set in a mountain of flesh underscored by corded muscle, it seemed ready to fall upon her like a landslide. Instead, it nodded almost enthusiastically, and then gestured with one trotter at the road ahead.
"Okay, I believe you Katsunishiki. Please keep going," Unryuu Akari assured her protector with a smile. She hadn't really doubted him. Pigs were incredible scent trackers, and Unryuu pigs were the pinnacle of porcine perfection. At her nod, Katsunishiki pressed his snout to the ground again and continued walking.
She just hoped her impatience didn't show too much. She couldn't remember how many other trails they'd followed before; her quarry's scent seemed to crisscross the entire district like a crazy quilt, old trails mingling with new ones until it was nearly impossible to tell whether he was coming or going or long gone.
But Katsunishiki seemed confident that he'd caught a recent one this time, and Akari couldn't help but trust in him. He always tried so hard to please her. He would lead her to her perfect man without fail, just like he'd found that man in the first place.
Strangely, he had seemed almost reluctant to follow the trail at first. When they were searching near the local high school the other night, it was as if there were another scent that he needed to hunt down, needed it strongly enough that it nearly overrode his training.
She'd almost let him; the closer she got to her objective, the more nervous she became. "...Oooh, I hope he doesn't think me too forward, showing up on his doorstep to ask him out," Akari worried to herself, chewing her lip uncertainly. There were so many things that could go wrong. What if he thought she was too plain, or too much of a country girl? What if he was still angry about Katsunishiki attacking his friend? What if he already had a girlfriend?
Oh, that would be a disaster! She'd waited so long for this opportunity, she just couldn't give up now. But how could she in good conscience try to take such a strong, wonderful, pig-like boy away from someone who already had him? First following him home, and now such thoughts; I'm already becoming as brazen as a Tokyo girl! The notion made her blush and fidget under Katsunishiki's worried gaze. A splash and an angry cry made her look up again.
"What did'ja do that for, ya crazy tomboy?!" the redhead demanded between sputters. Pulling herself out of the water and over the fence about half a block down the street, she began wringing the bottom of her sodden silk shirt, glaring at her companion.
"You stay away from her, Ranma! She doesn't need any more trouble," the shorthaired brunette replied testily, fists on her hips.
The pigtailed girl snorted derisively, looking insulted. "Jeez, I just asked what she looked like! 'S not like I asked if she had bigger..." Why was the redhead looking at her like that? Perhaps it was Katsunishiki; Akari smiled and placed a hand on his flank, to show that he wasn't dangerous.
Meanwhile, the second girl was glaring dangerously at the first. "Bigger what, Ranma?" Her eyes promised much pain if the answer displeased her.
"Uh... a..." The redhead seemed torn between watching Katsunishiki and cringing from the brunette's fiery gaze. "A bigger p-pig than you? I'll betcha miss P-chan a lot, right?" She replied hurriedly.
At first, the shorthaired girl looked incredulous, and then confused. A glimmer of hope appeared in the pigtailed girl's eyes. Then the scowl returned tenfold, the brunette's face growing dark with rage. "You pervert! Don't even think things like that!"
Akari winced at the sharp slap of flesh on flesh that followed. Making way as the second girl stalked past, still glowering indignantly, the sumo pig trainer shook her head sadly. Swine envy could be such an ugly thing.
Turning to the redhead again, she found the poor girl backed up against the barrier wall opposite the canal, nursing a glowing red handprint on one side of her face as Katsunishiki sniffed at her. "Katsunishiki! Stop that and be polite."
Hurrying over, she stood at the girl's side as the pig reluctantly backed away. What had gotten into him, all of a sudden? "Are you alright?" Akari asked soothingly. "He doesn't mean any harm; he's not dangerous at all if you don't provoke him," she was quick to assure, when the redhead drew away.
The pigtailed girl didn't really seem frightened anymore, but the wary look remained. Some additional smoothing over was necessary, then. "I'm sorry, but we couldn't help but overhear your conversation. There was really no call for what she did, I think... but that's none of my business. I apologize for eavesdropping." Placing a hand on Katsunishiki's head, Akari made him bow with her.
"I- Uh... yeah. That's okay," the girl answered finally, looking a little wild-eyed when Katsunishiki started sniffing at her feet again. "Sorry, gotta go!" Then, with barely a nod, the redhead was off like a shot, turning the first corner and disappearing.
"Katsunishiki, where are your manners!?" Akari demanded, rounding on the pig with a mildly scandalized expression on her face.
But the mammoth swine wasn't paying attention to her, instead almost pawing the ground with impatience. He nodded urgently in the direction that the girls had departed, his eyes pleading that she understand.
"Wait... his scent was on those girls?" Nod. "Stronger than the trail we were following?" Nod-nod. "Hmm..." Looking worriedly up the street, then back the way the girls had come, Akari nodded resolutely. "Very well. Follow them, Katsunishiki. We can at least ask if they know him..." A tug on his fur brought Katsunishiki down so she could climb on his back.
And if one of them is his girlfriend... The butterflies in her stomach returned, fluttering madly. She would have to deal with that when, and if, it came.
"Darling Shampoo, Old Monkey, I have returned!" Mousse sensed the stick rushing up to strike his head, on the left side this time, only moments too late to avoid it; one day, however...
"Who's an old monkey?" Cologne snapped sternly as he felt her land beside him. A tiny bit of the iron that was normally in her voice was missing this morning; perhaps she was finally starting to warm up to him.
Or, perhaps she was just taking him that much less seriously. The old hag rolled over his sudden frown without even seeming to notice. "Did you manage to find all the correct herbs I sent you for this time, or will Mr. Part-time be having weed soup again this week?"
Grimacing as the taste returned to him from his nightmares, Mousse climbed to his feet and thrust out the cloth sack he held. "I found them. Don't blame me if all the plants in this country look alike." He'd made sure to ask a woodcutter living on the mountain this time, just in case. All the man had wanted to talk about was boars acting strangely, but he seemed to know his herbs well enough.
Gnarled hands that he could only assume were Cologne's took the bag from him, and he heard the elder humming critically as she sifted through the tied bundles and smaller packets inside. "Good enough," she conceded at length, sounding as though she was just barely satisfied, and even then being generous. "Come. We are having breakfast, and afterward I have some chores for you to do until we open for lunch."
Mousse held his tongue about not having gotten much rest the previous night; complaining would most likely just lose him a chance to eat before work. Instead, he stoically followed the bounding blur of Cologne to the kitchen, navigating the restaurant mostly by memory. At least Shampoo would be there; he'd barely set foot in the door after searching for hours before Cologne had bundled him off to hunt herbs in the mountains. All he'd been able to get was her assurance that Shampoo was safe and asleep in bed.
The moment he entered in the room, he felt as though he'd stepped under an icy mountain waterfall into the arctic waste, and a hungry polar bear was eyeing him. He shivered in spite of himself. The sharp click of Cologne's staff continued to move away, unmindful of his discomfort.
"This is Liáng-yà," Cologne explained from where she sat in front of a large, squarish brown blur that he didn't remember seeing before; had they gotten a new freezer? "She has just come from the mainland, and will be staying with us for a short while."
Almost afraid of what he would see, but too morbidly curious to resist, Mousse tilted his glasses down before his eyes. He stared at the scene before him for a full four seconds before pushing them back up again with a shudder. There had to be some law against people looking at each other like that.
Shampoo and the golden-haired girl halfway down the table were exchanging glares that should have killed the both of them, and Mousse wasn't sure it wouldn't still. If he was going to catch any of that, and with Shampoo here that was almost a certainty, then he didn't want to see it coming.
Sitting down at an empty space that'd been cleared for him, thankfully not between the girls, he pulled a bowl from his sleeve and reached for where he'd seen the rice cooker, to serve himself. As the elder, Cologne wouldn't serve him, and he didn't want to attract the attention of either of his other neighbors.
"Does it taste good?" Shampoo asked sweetly, like honey drizzled on a razor blade. "It's a family recipe; out in the field, when there is often little in the way of game or forage to be had, Joketsuzoku warriors pride themselves in being able to make a feast of the most unpalatable things. Why, I'll bet you can't even taste the pork..."
Mousse could almost feel the satisfaction radiating from Shampoo like a furnace as the girl across from him began to cough and gag. Once she'd recovered, the heat from Liáng-yà's corner of the table was enough to curl his hair, but surprisingly no retort came.
That worried him. From the feel of her battle aura, the girl was angry enough to chew stones and spit out daggers, yet she remained completely silent. If she were screaming at the top of her lungs, then the worst he'd have expected was a fight, but now he wondered if he shouldn't stick closer than normal to his beloved, to keep her from a knife in the back. Or the Smiling Three Year Death; he gave an involuntary shudder.
The rest of the meal passed in much the same way. Periods of uncomfortable quiet were punctuated by viperish quips from Shampoo, which Liáng-yà endured mutely, though more than once he felt as though the blonde was on the verge of throwing something.
Mousse didn't understand why Liáng-yà would take exception to many of the things Shampoo said. They seemed to have a lot to do with pigs and pork, but were not always offensive, such as that first one. He also got the impression that the other girl was picking at her food like it might be poisoned, as if the rest of them weren't eating the same.
Fortunately, being out of the loop saved him from getting his hide flayed off in strips by any of the women, this time. As usual, Cologne assigned him the dingiest and most menial chores that could be found, and then left him to clear the table. The elder was going to be doing some research this morning, so with an admonishment to stay vigilant in her studies, her favorite grandchild was left to her own devices until lunch.
Liáng-yà was also given a few slightly less demeaning chores to do, as well as a shopping list. Mousse was beginning to get the impression that the girl simply didn't speak. The sunflower blur of her head bobbed as Cologne gave instructions, and sometimes more complex communication seemed to be exchanged, but Mousse was sure he didn't know how. She breathed not a word the entire time.
Once Shampoo left to change, the master of hidden weapons let the others fade from his perception, concerning himself with getting the Nekohanten ready for another day of business. Cologne didn't seem to think the girl a threat, and if Shampoo was safe then it was none of his affair. That suited him just fine.
The quiet girl didn't cross his mind again until he was halfway done with yesterday's dishes, which Cologne had so kindly left in the sink for him to do. A knock on the doorframe announced that he wasn't alone, but he was still startled that he hadn't heard anyone come up behind him.
"What is it?" he asked, managing to hide his surprise as he turned to look over his shoulder. As an answer, the blur walked up and tugged on his sleeve; that brought a look of confusion, until he realized that yellow hair said his visitor was Liáng-yà, and Cologne's guest was apparently a woman of few words.
Stripping off the soapy rubber gloves that protected him from the lukewarm dish water, Mousse tugged his glasses down over his eyes and found himself looking down at a small rectangular box, wrapped in shiny red paper and trimmed with gold-worked string. Liáng-yà held it out in front of her, staring at him expectantly from behind her spray of golden fringe with one deep emerald eye.
"For me?" At her nod, he accepted the package, noticing for the first time that there was a card attached to the top, the same color as the expensive-looking red paper. Flipping it open, he felt a smile split his face as he read the inscription, then looked up again. "How did you-?"
At this point, several things became evident to the near-blind martial artist, now that he was wearing his glasses. Among them was that Liáng-yà was a very attractive girl. She also seemed to have borrowed one of Shampoo's form-hugging outfits. She was half a head shorter than his beloved, but the blue silk blouse and pants were ill fitting in other ways that probably added fuel to the fires that burned in Shampoo's eyes as she glowered at them from the doorway.
Making the package vanish before he had time to think about how that might look, Mousse never let the smile slip from his face. He was suddenly in a very good mood. "What can I do for you, oh light of my life?"
His entreat went unanswered, as Liáng-yà and Shampoo seemed to be warming up for a rematch of their earlier staring contest. Finally, the lavender-tressed girl broke the standoff. "Great-grandmother wants to add some things to that list she gave you," she hissed dangerously. "Hurry up and go, you lazy sow; your lover's eating the plants outside."
'Eating the plants? Lover?' What the hell?? The 'lover' comment seemed to infuriate Liáng-yà even more than being called a sow. Mousse had already taken two steps back from the frightful battle aura that sprang up around her before he realized his error.
Impatiently tapping the lip of her teacup with a folded paper fan, Cologne cast a glance at the clock. Where is that girl? She'd sent Shampoo to find Ryouga half an hour ago. Her peculiar pet was still waiting outside, so she couldn't have left yet; had she gotten lost already?
Looking again towards the kitchen, a peculiar sound caused the elder to quirk one incredulous eyebrow. With a sigh, she lifted her cup to take a sip just as Shampoo came flying though the doorway. Sprawling awkwardly across the tabletop, the younger amazon released an explosive breath as the wind was knocked out of her. She lay there for a moment, stunned, as Cologne eyed her in disapproval.
She didn't stay that way for long. Eyes widening, the lavender-haired girl flipped backwards to land on her feet, grabbing a handy chair to narrowly deflect the serving tray that buzzed through the air to split the table she'd lain on. Grabbing one neatly sawed half in either hand, she flipped the ruined table up to block the two platters that trailed the first.
Their thrower followed only moments behind. Dragging what had to be twice her weight in chains, the blonde girl wore a feral snarl as she turned to face Shampoo. A panicked Mousse rushed in after her, but was pulled to the ground when she leapt, the chains trailing from his sleeves pulling taut behind him.
Working frantically, he set his legs on either side of the doorway as he was dragged back, and Ryouga's attack was arrested in mid-flight. Crashing to the floor just out of reach of her target, the lost girl snarled silently and began clawing across at the floor, making slow progress as Mousse held fast at the other end of her leash.
Shampoo wasn't idle, however. The Chinese girl wore a look of outrage as she pummeled her chained foe with anything that was at hand. "I'll teach you not to attack an amazon, you stupid beast!" Chairs met with a quick end, and tables lasted little longer in Shampoo's hands, but nothing seemed to faze the struggling blonde. "Why won't you fall, damn you?! You really aren't human!"
Smashing aside the coat rack that the amazon was flailing at her, Ryouga was wild-eyed enough to make Shampoo's ranting seem reasonable. Barring her teeth in a soundless roar, the lost girl gave one final, mighty tug, lunging at Shampoo as the chains suddenly went slack.
Mousse, still straining on his end, was confused for a moment, before he glanced back into the kitchen and a look of horror washed over his face. A second later the standing freezer hurtled through the doorway, taking half the wall with it, and crashed down on top of him, still trailing the chains that were wrapped around behind it.
Crying out in surprise, Shampoo fell back into a defensive stance, far too late to avoid Ryouga's crazed attack. The Chinese girl could feel the jaws of defeat closing around her; it seemed a painfully apt metaphor, the way the blonde was lunging for her throat.
Suddenly, a brown blur burst from behind a potted plant by the front entrance, streaking between the two combatants. Hooking wickedly sharp tusks through the web of chains that still enshrouded the lost girl, the boar reared up and bolted out the door.
His mistress wasn't the only thing he dragged with him, however; jerked along like a puppet on a string, the icebox whipped around the room in a dizzying arc before wedging in the doorway. Shampoo only had enough time to blink in confusion before she was slammed into the wall as it grazed her in its flight.
"Great-grandmother... I- I think I'm going to take a nap now..." The lavender-haired girl mumbled groggily, sinking to the floor.
Setting her teacup down on the counter by the kitchen window, Cologne shook her head sadly. "Overconfidence will be your end yet, child..." dropping down from her staff, she walked over to pick up her unconscious charge.
The elder was halfway across the room when the freezer door swung open, hanging on one hinge before finally falling off completely. A mountain of rapidly thawing food, a pile of chains, weapons, and white robes, and one much-abused duck spilled out onto the restaurant floor.
"Ah, there you are Mousse," Cologne observed wryly. "Hurry up and get changed; it appears that your chores will have to wait until after you've gotten the restaurant back in order."
Once the elder was gone, Mousse weakly raised his head to look around. There wasn't a piece of furniture standing in the room. There was also a hole in the wall where the kitchen door used to be, huge square dents in two of the other walls, and a freezer lodged in the entryway. Topping it all off was a small pond forming in the middle of the dinning room floor. Uttering a despairing 'quack,' the amazon-turned-duck hung his head in defeat.
Stupid pig..., Ryouga thought irritably as she set about the task of untangling the wreath of chains that she was draped in. She cast a sour glance at the boar, but the mangy lump of fur wasn't in any position to notice.
A quick look around had proven disheartening. They were nowhere near the Nekohanten, or anywhere else that the lost girl recognized. It was just her luck that the boar couldn't read, and bludgeoning it unconscious with a sign that said 'STOP!' had taken too long.
At least she could still express her displeasure at her untimely abduction. There were other ways to get a point across, and the blond intended to introduce the dumb beast to a few of them as soon as he woke up. What had he been thinking, barging in like that in a middle of a fight she was winning!?
She'd almost been able to taste victory, and she could still remember the look on Shampoo's face in that final moment. Not so smug anymore, hmm? Ryouga would have taught that bubble-headed bimbo a thing or two about humility... and then Shampoo would have given her the Kiss of Death.
Woodenly, the lost girl turned to look at the unconscious boar. It couldn't have been- could it? She didn't remember ever explaining to him about the Kiss of Death, and it's not like the thing could have read about it in the Big Book of Amazon Laws or something...
Shaking her head, Ryouga returned her attention to freeing herself, but thoughts of punishing the boar seemed less attractive all of a sudden. Maybe, just this once, she could let it slide. Even if he couldn't have known, the boar had still managed to keep her from doing something she'd have regretted later.
Mousse had tried to do the same, but at the moment Ryouga was feeling far less well disposed towards the half-blind amazon. He'd certainly done a job on these chains. Frowning, the blonde tossed aside another dead end and stared at the hopeless tangle of steel links that criss-crossed her torso. There had to be an easier way to do this.
Fingering a link near the center of the Gordian knot that Mousse had made (would that make it a Moussian knot?), the lost girl suddenly had a minor epiphany. Well, duh. Though she wasn't exactly Alexander the Great, Ryouga couldn't help but feel kind of stupid for not thinking of it earlier. Poking the hammered steel ring with her fingertip, she was rewarded by a sharp crack as the link shattered.
"SQUEEE!"
Looking up, Ryouga noted that the boar was awake again. He was giving her a pleading, 'Why me?' look as he picked jagged shards of metal out of his hide. Hmm... Better be careful or I'll end up shredding Shampoo's shirt off. Placing one hand on the animal's flank, she nodded curtly towards the street.
After a final, long-suffering grunt, the boar complied, ambling back out into the road. Ryouga followed along, keeping a firm grip on his fur, since he knew where they were going better than she. Short lengths of chain dripped off of her as she continued to work on the links while they walked.
PANG! I wonder what else Cologne wanted me to buy... SPAANG! The boar danced at Ryouga's side as a chunk of chain ricocheted between his legs. Whatever it is, I hope she sends her crazy hellcat granddaughter after it, so I don't have to see her face when I get back. PA-PING! ...huh?
Eyeing the puddle of links that had just fallen away, Ryouga could swear that the chain had shattered twice, in two different places. But she'd only used the bakusai tenketsu once, so how...?
Running her fingers and eyes over the heavy knot of metal that sat atop her chest, Ryouga tried to follow the twists and turns of the chain, feeling for the unique metaphysical note that would ring the end of each piece. Then she took her hands away, closed her eyes, and tried again.
It had taken a couple hundred repetitions, but Cologne had successfully drilled it into her head that you didn't actually see the bakusai tenketsu with your eyes, or strike it with your finger. It wasn't really a 'point' in that way. If that was true, then maybe the mysterious 'breaking point' didn't necessarily have to be right-
There! As she flicked the last link on a loose end she'd made, Ryouga's ears detected a soft click from deep inside the mass of steel. The lost girl felt almost giddy as she rolled her shoulders and the knot of chains unraveled from within, sliding down to pool noisily at her feet. "Hah! Imagine that! I wonder why she never..."
Stopping, the blonde girl shook the chains from her arms and slowly brought a hand to her mouth. A wide, fang-toothed grin split her face. "... I wonder why she never told me about that," Ryouga continued, mostly to hear the sound of her own voice again. "I'll have to ask her when I get back..."
Looking down at the pile of metal at her feet, Ryouga crossed her arms and considered for a moment. The boar shifted a little uneasily as Ryouga glanced up at her companion, then back down at the chains, a strange smile on her face. His mistress almost never smiled, and he wasn't sure if it was a good thing yet.
"Um... excuse me? Ma'am, are these the only yellow shirts you have?"
Turning from her game of Mahjong with the grocer and two of the district's long-suffering policemen, the owner of the Xīe Xía-mì China Boutique raised an incredulous eyebrow at this intrusion. Scraping her chair around, the handsome Chinese woman gave her guest a measuring look.
The petite girl was holding up a saffron mandarin shirt with lacquered ties and a short, qipao styled blouse in gold silk. Sesame could tell with a glance neither of the items in question would fit, but she needn't have seen the shirts to know that. From the downcast look on her face, the girl was aware of this as well.
With her fair hair, sharp features, and emerald green eyes the child cut the figure of Qinghai tribal if she'd ever seen one. There were some peculiar things swimming in that gene pool; just one more reason Sesame was glad to be out of the valley.
She'd also spoken in the Qinghai dialect. "Are you Liáng-yà?" the shopkeeper asked, dropping into the distinctive variation that was used around Joketsuzoku.
"I... yes, I am," the girl answered in turn, sounding a little puzzled. She smiled awkwardly, as if she were trying not to look guilty.
"Elder Kū-lóng called ahead. These should fit you." Reaching under the table, Sesame pulled out a paper wrapped parcel and pressed it into her bewildered customer's arms. She'd spent most the previous evening doing alterations, but it was not wise to refuse a request from an elder of the Amazon village.
That didn't mean she had to forget that she was the mistress here, however. "Some in the boxes near the door may serve, but if you want anything fitted, leave it on the counter when you pay. Unless it's marked, blouses are 3750, pants 5000, and dresses 12000, alterations extra. If you want to haggle, come back later," she instructed, turning back to the far more pressing matter of her game.
At least she wouldn't have to baby sit this one. Any child under the watchful eye of Cologne could be trusted to pay a countrywoman for goods, if not damages, lest the elder hear of it. Taking things without a fight reflected poorly on a proper amazon.
A small commotion across the store, a clattering of hangers and hushed, hurried voices, made Sesame roll her eyes. Speaking of reflecting poorly on proper amazons... While any business was welcome in this land of salarymen and sailor-fuku, there were some things she could definitely do without.
"Are you sure that's her?"
"Are you blind?! Who else could it be?"
"But didn't she have a big pig with her?"
"Does it look like there's room for a pig in here? She probably left it to guard Shampoo-sama, wherever she is."
Fussing self-consciously with the o-dango buns in her hair, Azuma 'Lotion' Kanami cast an uncertain glance at her comrade, then turned to peer over the ragged line of boxes and clothes racks that snaked drunkenly through the room. "I dunno... wasn't she taller?"
"Stop- …stop being such a coward!" the other girl snapped, at the last moment remembering to lower her voice.
"B-but Yuu-chaaan, what can we dooo? She beat Shampoo-sama!"
"No, her pig ambushed Shampoo-sama! There's no way she would have won otherwise; you saw how Shampoo-sama had her on the run," the shorter girl declared testily. Her boyishly cut, cobalt-blue hail bristled in irritation. "And for the last time, my name is Rinse!"
"Ah! Sorry... That was sooo scary," Kanami-nee-Lotion squealed, tearing her eyes away from the blonde to peer around fearfully. "It just came out of nowhere, like a monster on one of those shows we watched when we were kids... D-do you think it could be here n-now?"
"Don't be stupid! If it was that close we'd hear it or smell it or something." Still, the amazon formerly known as Fusen Yuuki took her own cautious look around. "Just keep your eyes on the little witch. We'll-"
"Uh... Rinse-chan? She's gone..."
"WHAT?" Bursting out from behind a rack of silk pajamas, 'Rinse' scanned the room, a shocked expression on her face. Sure enough, the hated kidnapper of their beloved Shampoo-sama was nowhere in sight.
"BAKA! Why'd you stop watching?!"
"I was scared!"
"An amazon fears nothing! Remember that, or I'll really give you something to be scared of! Now c'mon!"
"But my blouse..."
"You can come back to buy it later! Let's GO! She couldn't have gotten far..."
"Waaaah..."
With an exasperated sigh, Ryouga shuffled out of the cramped bathroom in the back of the store that served as the fitting room. Closing the door to look into the full-length mirror on the outside of it, she regarded her reflection with a sullen frown. Why'd she have to chose red?!
The clothes that Cologne had ordered for her did indeed fit as promised, but that was about the only positive thing that she'd be willing to say about them. Turning to one side and then the other didn't make the view any better, and finally Ryouga gave up. I should've guessed she'd do this.
It wasn't that the outfits were unflattering; exactly the opposite, in fact. She'd long since gotten over seeing herself, but Ryouga still had to fight down a blush of mortification at the way the silk pantsuit hugged the curves of her body. It was about the same cut as the one she'd 'borrowed' from Shampoo, but now that she didn't have constant discomfort to distract her, she couldn't help but feel a bit self-conscious about how little it left to the imagination.
And then there was the color. Bleah... At least the ties are up the side, and not the front. She'd have worn the blue one, except that the monogram pattern on that one was of silver boars, and she certainly wasn't going to wear the dress, even if it was yellow. Crazy, shameless amazons...
Unfortunately, she hadn't found anything else in the store that would fit without lots of alterations, so it would have to do until she could look elsewhere. I'll do that first, she resolved, after a final look in the mirror. Stooping to gather up the other two outfits, which lay folded neatly outside the bathroom door, the blonde wanderer went nearly as red as her shirt. Okay, underwear first.
Discreetly picking her pants out of her butt, Ryouga brought her purchases to the counter. As uncomfortably tight as her previous clothes had been, she'd nearly been able to forget that she was going 'commando style' this morning. Dammit, I went through hell to get those panties- and that bra!
Scowling, Ryouga set her bundle on the counter to pay. The lost girl left the correct amount from the small purse Cologne had given her, glancing back to make sure the shopkeeper had noticed. Then, as she retrieved her things, her eye fell on Shampoo's outfit on top of the stack. Hmph! No, unlike some people, I'm not that childish...
"What do you suppose her problem is?"
"I dunno; what's she doing over there?"
"It looks like she's talking to the Colonel Sanders statue outside..."
"She looks like one of those Amazons! Maybe she's blind, like the waiter at the Nekohanten."
"Hmm... or she might just be an idiot."
Her interest piqued by the not-so-quietly gossiping college students at the next table, Akane glanced up from her lunch to look out the window. Ah! It's her!
"Hey Akane, you want the rest 'a that?" Ranma asked, indicating the rest of her fiancé's fried chicken, but the youngest Tendou was too distracted to answer. Scooting out of the booth, Akane quickly made for the door.
"Huh?" Taking the brunette's silent departure as a 'no,' the redhead took a moment to inhale the remains of their meal before standing up and following Akane out. "Whassup?"
"Shh!" Akane hissed, waving Ranma back as she peered through the glass doors. Remembering how timid the blonde had been the day before, Akane grabbed a serving tray and held it in front of her face, but the girl outside didn't appear to have noticed them.
"E-excuse me..."
She is talking to the statue! Stifling a gasp of surprise, Akane inched closer to the doors so that she could hear better.
Her lips turned down in a deadly-kawaii little fang-toothed frown, the girl stopped and started again. She looked like she was having trouble. "Excuse m-me, b-but... I'm looking f-for p-p-panties..."
Though squeaky and unsure, the girl's voice was a surprisingly earthy alto; after a moment, Akane decided that it fit her, even as small as she was. Poor thing. Everything must be so confusing for her, she lamented sympathetically. Still, Akane had to marvel at how well the pig-girl spoke Japanese, even if she was talking to a statue. Idly, she wondered how long 'Liáng-yà' had been cursed. It must be very hard; she seems so shy...
After another halting attempt, the badly blushing blonde sighed and crossed her arms under her breasts, staring at the ground thoughtfully. Then, looking at the statue again, she raised one hand as if trying to get the Colonel's attention. "E-excuse me! C-Could you tell me where the p-pan... U-underwear is...?"
"Hey, is that her?" Ranma asked curiously, looking over her shoulder. "Huh... I guess I can see why you'd be so jealous, Akane. They do look a lot bi-"
CRUNCH!
AAARGH! That won't do either! No matter how she said it, Ryouga couldn't think of any way to ask about underwear that wasn't mortally embarrassing. Even just practicing, she'd already decided to give up on trying to say 'panties,' and a chill ran down her spine at the mere thought of shopping for a bra. Never again, she promised herself. I'll figure that out alone, somehow. If only pigs could read...
With a weary sigh, she tried to will the flush away from her face and turned once again to regard her current nemesis, the great and terrible Colonel Sanders. If she couldn't ask a damn statue where she could find underwear, then she'd never be able to ask a flesh and blood person. "Excuse me, but-?"
"Yes, can I help you?"
Hastily climbing back into her skin, Ryouga took a few steps back, warily regarding the stony face of the Chicken King. Another possessed statue? Then the true owner of the voice peeked out from behind the wise and inscrutable Colonel, and the lost girl nearly fainted.
"Ah! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to startle you," Akane blurted, rushing forward and dropping the broken serving tray she was holding so that she could help steady the swaying blonde.
Why gods?! Why do you torment me so?! It took a few moments for Ryouga to gather enough of her frazzled wits to think clearly. Wait! Don't panic! She doesn't know who I am! I can't change back, so as long as I don't do anything suspicious everything will be fine! Taking a deep breath, Ryouga ventured a tentative glance up at the taller girl at her side. She nearly lost her nerve again when Akane smiled at her, but she did manage to return with a shaky smile of her own.
"Are you okay now?" the brunette asked. "You remember me, right? I'm Akane, we met yesterday." At Ryouga's shaky nod, Akane finally released her shoulders, taking a step back. "I'm sorry for scaring you like that," she added apologetically.
Ryouga shook her head in the negative, indicating that Akane shouldn't worry, though her heart was still beating a-mile-a-minute. Rubbing the back of her head, she gave her secret beloved another embarrassed smile. Aaaargh! She caught me practicing! Now she must think I'm some kind of moron!
But to her surprise, Akane didn't seem the least bit pitying or patronizing. "I was really impressed by how well you spoke," she gushed, beaming encouragement at the lost girl. "You must be working very hard to learn Japanese!"
Oh yeah, she thinks I'm Chinese, Ryouga realized belatedly. I guess it makes more sense that way. It was still pretty embarrassing, though.
"Can you say, 'My name is Ren-ya?'" Akane urged playfully, eliciting another blush from Ryouga. The brunette seemed entirely too enthusiastic about this for the blonde's comfort.
Still, it'd probably be best to humor her. When Ryouga opened her mouth to speak, however, only the tiniest whisper emerged from her throat. Nooo! Not again! Must stay calm! Everything is fine! Trying to still her racing heart while Akane was staring at her like that was an exercise in futility, but she wouldn't give up that easily. Even if she stumbled over every other word, Ryouga had grown very fond of being able to talk since her last visit to China. "...my n-name ii... iis...," she managed in a slightly more audible whisper, on her third attempt.
"That's it!" Akane cheered her on. "You can do it! No need to be shy."
It was no good. By now half of the shopping district must have been staring at them. Feeling all of those curious eyes on her shut Ryouga up like her voice had been flipped off with a switch. Damn... Turning even redder, the wanderer looked down at her feet, nervously crinkling the paper-wrapped bundle in her arms.
Her enthusiasm dampened slightly by Ryouga's lapse into defeated silence, Akane put a comforting arm around the smaller girl's shoulders. "That's okay. You don't have to talk if it makes you uncomfortable, but you really were doing great. Shampoo's been in Japan for nearly a year, and you sounded more natural than she does."
Bending down to better see the small, hopeless smile that curled the lost girl's lips at that last remark, Akane noticed some writing on the parcel in Ryouga's arms. "Hmm... what's this say?" she asked, pointing at the Chinese words. "'Clothing,' or...?"
Producing a brush pen, Ryouga quickly translated the line into Japanese, grateful for the distraction. 'Clothes for Liáng-yà.'
"Oh! But why would you be buying clothes for Ryouga?" While the blonde girl went into immediate cardiac arrest, Akane curiously pulled back the wrapper, which had been mostly shredded by Ryouga's fidgeting. Those clothes certainly didn't look like they'd fit the lost boy. They were the same style as her current companion's very nice and new-looking outfit.
Peering closely at 'Liáng-yà,' she flipped the wrapper back to reveal the writing. "Is this how you write your name?" The accused nodded weakly, guilty as charged. "Wow! I have another friend named Ryouga who writes his name exactly the same way! That's kind of neat- Ah, watch your step!"
Helping the petite girl to her feet, Akane took a better look at Ryouga's new clothes. The lost girl suffered a full-body blush when she saw how Akane's eyes lingered, a hint of color rising in the other girl's cheeks as she obviously noticed a couple of significant omissions in the blonde's wardrobe. Akane was the first to recover. "Soo... I guess you were going to buy underwear next?" she suggested, this time thankfully keeping her voice low.
Ryouga just nodded, averting her eyes. One silver bullet dodged, somehow, but now Akane probably thought she was some sort of pervert. Why don't you get it over with and kill me now, she thought bitterly to whatever cruel gods might be watching. How much more indignity must I suffer?!
"Ne, I was going shopping too! Why don't we go together?"
... I hate my life.
[Author's notes: This will be the last mostly 'setup' chapter, i promise! -_-; I tried to squeeze some quality, plot-advancing stuff in, really i did, but nothing ever works out the way i plan it to... Ah well, at any rate the next chapter should be pretty busy in terms of people meeting each other and exchanging challenges/blows/pledges of undying love and such, so please bear with me. As always, i could never have done this without the help of my wonderful prereaders and the support of folks who C&C or reviewed to let me know that someone out there was reading; thank you, everyone! ^_^ Now, without further ado, on with the Omake! Thought i forgot about them, didn'cha...?]
"At least lemmie finish before ya hit me next time, ya stupid tomboy!" Ranma grumbled loudly, pushing open the glass doors of the KFC and picking pieces of brown plastic out of her hair. Jeez, try ta be nice and look where it gets ya... What Ranma had been trying to say was that the blonde girl's breasts did look a lot bigger than Akane's, but that it might have been partly because she was so short.
But Nooo; Ranma never deserved the benefit of the doubt! "Is a little patience so much ta ask... Akane?"
Strangely, there didn't appear to be any sign of her fiancé outside the restaurant. "Oooi, Akane?" Looking around the corner yielded yet another strange absence of girls who were trying to marry her for one reason or another. How odd; she'd been expecting at least one.
In fact, that weird blonde girl- 'Rinya,' or something- seemed to be missing as well. "Awww... dammit, Akane! Don't tell me ya went and got kidnapped again!" Crossing her arms, the redhead blew her bangs out of her eyes with a put upon sigh. And she tells me not to mess around with the girl. Sometimes you can be so dense, Akane...
She had snatched Shampoo, after all. Akane hadn't been too forthcoming with details about how that had turned out, except to warn Ranma in no uncertain terms to stay far, far away from the Nekohanten, so that sounded like a good place to start looking. Although it'd be stupid to take her second victim to the same place, they'd had some really stupid kidnappers in Nerima.
"'Least she could'a left some sort of challenge letter or somethin'..." It was mostly the rivals that did that, though. "I guess we gotta do this the hard way, again." Turning to go, Ranma found herself face to snout with the second largest pig she'd ever seen. "Uwaaaaa!"
Peering up at the redhead's new perch in the arms of the Colonel, the boar rose up on its hind legs and tilted its head to the side quizzically. Oh yeah, she had a boar too... Climbing down carefully, Ranma turned an incredulous gaze up at the massive animal. "So... I guess ya ain't just gonna tell me where yer owner took my fiancé, eh Mr. Pig?"
Blinking, the boar looked left and right, then lifted one trotter to point down the road toward the center of the shopping district. Helpfully, he indicated the length of chain that was wrapped around his neck like a collar and leash, leading off into the distance.
"... oh."