Standard Disclaimer + Authors's Notes + A Small Warning ^_^;...
Hey all! Back again, after waaaaay too long with nothing written. Sorry for the delay! I don't own any of the original Ranma 1/2 characters, and i don't have Takahashi-sama's permission to use them, so let's just keep this to ourselves ^_~. There can't be that many people reading this anyhow -_-;... Also, as an author's note, i've been informed that women working at department stores in Hong-Kong, even if they have perfectly servicable Chinese names, will go by an 'English' name when working with the customers; weird, but true. Next, the warning. This is one of the chapters where this story earns its PG-13 label, since it's got some mild innuendo and sex (or at least breast/underwear) humor. Just thought i'd put it out there, though really, if you watch or read canon Ranma 1/2, you probably wouldn't be bothered by anything that goes on here. Finally, much thanks to Jen-chan for prereading this farce; i really couldn't have done this chapter without you! Any comments, criticisms, reviews, or rants can be sent my way by the review page or e-mail, and would be much appreciated. Thanks for reading!
~Eimii
"... and so a growing girl like you should really take better care of her body. You wouldn't want to hurt yourself or anything, right?" As the girl reluctantly shook her head, 'Mary' Fêi Qīng-wēi breathed a quiet sigh of relief. It had taken her the better part of two hours to convince the vividly flushing blonde that she should wear a bra, but the dedicated attendant's efforts had finally paid off.
As a reward, she allowed herself another long, appreciative glance, while the shy girl was still occupied finding new wonders in the carpet at her feet. She didn't really do much to hide the reasons why she preferred to work hands-on with the customers rather than at the till, but some people were just so easily upset by any little show of interest that she tried to limit her indulgences to when they weren't looking.
It'd been harder than normal on this particular occasion. The quiet little country girl, probably fresh from the mainland, was just so cute. She was also more 'woman' than a lot of the college students that the salesgirl knew, and Qīng-wēi guessed that she couldn't be older than thirteen or fourteen. Tough age; she must have just gone through one heck of a growth spurt...
Qīng-wēi's own bout with puberty had been much kinder, or harsher, depending on your point of view. Despite working in the lingerie section of a major Hong-Kong department store, she'd never really needed to wear a bra herself, but it didn't bother her. She was okay with her body, and it had been an unexpected boon when she'd been applying for this job. She was less likely to make the more modestly endowed customers uncomfortable, after all.
Unfortunately, sometimes it had the opposite effect on customers more like her current one. But the poor kid had been blushing like a neon sign since even before she'd shuffled nervously into intimate wear in search of panties. Like most teenagers, what the girl really needed was a serious self-image boost. Qīng-wēi had tried to be as supportive as possible while she explained why wearing a bra would make everyday life more convenient, and make some of the curves her body was throwing her at the moment a little bit less of a hassle.
Of course, she could only restrain herself so long before rushing on to the part that she'd been fantasizing about since she'd found out that the girl had never bought a bra before. "Well then, why don't we get started? Step over here and we'll find out your sizes," she said sweetly, pulling out a tape measure and gesturing to a small, mirrored booth.
'Sizes?'
Undeterred by the blonde's odd tendency to 'speak' with wooden signs, Qīng-wēi nodded reassuringly. "Finding a bra that fits right is very important, so we need to know what size you wear. Just turn around and lift your arms above your head; it won't take but a moment." Though hesitant at first, the girl finally complied. Grinning impishly, Qīng-wēi grabbed the bottom of the blonde's shirt and hoisted it up and off before the petite girl could protest.
"...O_O!"
"Calm down, I just need to take some measurements."
"...-_-;"
"Be nice, now; I can't do anything if you don't uncross your arms. Please just hold them out to the side. It's not like you've got anything that I haven't seen a hundred times before..."
"...o_O!"
"Eheh... sorry, are my hands are little cold? Ah, if you keep squirming around like that, I'll- ooh! Hmmm... Pretty firm, and you've got nice muscle tone too. Do you work out much? Maybe we should find you a few sports bras as well..."
"...^_^;"
"It'd be a shame not to have a few sexy things to show this off, though, and you'll definitely need something to just lounge around in. I'll bet you'd look great in a halter top too, but I'd have to show you how to shave your armpits; do you have a little while?"
"...;_;!"
*****
"Come on, I think she went this way!"
"Oh dear..."
"Ren-ya! What's wrong? There's nothing to be afraid of!" Peeking under a display rack, Akane motioned for the attendant to go around the other side. What could have startled her this time? Though Liáng-yà was obviously still shy about talking to strangers, Akane hadn't been expecting her to run away.
First, she'd practically had to pick the blonde up and carry her into the lingerie section. Then, the moment the matronly old saleswoman had taken out her measuring tape, Liáng-yà had frozen like a spooked deer. Sympathetic, Akane had suggested that she take the measurements instead, to make her more comfortable, but the small girl had just gone redder, before finally cupping her hands over her face and bolting down the aisle.
Weird; it's like the animals in China have more modesty than the people, she observed, thinking of a certain shameless, lavender-haired hussy. And that boar was certainly more civilized than any Amazon I've ever met...
Queen of Pigs...
A Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction...
Chapter Four: You can't run forever.
Sighing, Ryouga reached back to unclasp the bra and throw it onto the 'maybe' pile. Why did finding a bra that fit have to be so difficult? She knew they made them in her size; that salesgirl in Hong Kong hadn't- Hastily, the lost girl applied the trusty mental mosaic filter to that train of thought. She was trying to keep the nosebleeds and fainting to a minimum, at least while she was surrounded by nice, well-meaning people who wanted to see her in her underwear.
Akane and the saleswoman had only caught her because she'd stumbled into the active-wear section and passed out after remembering... other things that had happened that day. Blushing, Ryouga wondered if she still had Qīng-wēi's number; she hadn't been entirely in her right mind when the girl had given it to her. But now that she safely had a large body of water between them, perhaps she could call the overly 'friendly' salesgirl to ask what bra she should buy.
Except that she had to be able to talk to use the telephone. For the umpteenth time cursing a certain Amazon hag, the blonde girl turned to regard the next item in the seemingly endless parade of cute undergarments that Akane had selected for her. It was another set; she stared in horror at the matching thong. There's no way in Hell I'm wearing that! She'd stick with the set of boy-cut panties she'd grabbed earlier, when they were looking through the prepackaged ones.
But her pair of vigilant 'helpers' seemed insistent that she try on everything they brought for her. Then she had to model it for them in the cramped little stall so that they could pull and poke and adjust, and make her do embarrassing things like bend over or run in place. At least she could be thankful that Akane and the saleswoman were staying reasonably practical, noting the distinct lack of frills and lace on most of the things littered around the small fitting room.
Glancing at the curtain self-consciously, Ryouga held the light lavender brassiere to her chest and looked in the mirror. She took an immediate dislike to the color, and the tag revealed it to be another slight variation in the size trend. They hadn't quite gotten it right when they'd measured her while she was out. I wonder if Akane measured me...
"Ren-ya, are you okay in there? Does that one fit?"
Aaah! Startled out of a vividly imagined, sinfully pleasurable caress, Ryouga slapped a hand to her nose, but the blood was already running down her chin to drip onto her chest- and the bra! Dammit! I am turning into a pervert! Scrambling to find something to clean herself up with and put on before Akane decided to check in on her, it was a moment before the lost girl noticed the boar's wide, bloodshot eyes, filled with concern as he peered down at her from over the walls of the stall.
The uncomfortable tableau held for a several seconds, until a distant crashing sound caused the boar to turn away. He lost some fur off the top of his shaggy head a moment later, beating a hasty retreat under a buzzing hail of undergarments. The wild-eyed lost girl waited to made sure he was gone before lowering the whirling handful of bikini briefs she'd been preparing for the second barrage. Absently, she wiped her nose and chin, then glanced down to realize she was using the bra as a handkerchief. "..."
Somewhere, a twisted little old man burst into tears.
Holding the soiled garment away, Ryouga looked down at herself in disgust. Ugh, what a mess... There were still a few smears of blood on the tops of her breasts, and she was tempted to use the brassiere to clean them off, since it was ruined anyway, when an unexpected jiggle shivered through those twin mounds of unwanted flesh. "..."
I didn't do that, she mused, as another ripple sent them swaying slightly. Crossing her arms self-consciously, the blushing blonde knelt and put one ear to the floor.
THUMP! Blinking, Ryouga listened harder, tuning out the faint screams coming from the other side of the curtain so she could figure out where the vibrations were coming from. BOOM! Hmmm, the strongest ones seemed to be coming from two places, both of them a reasonable distance away though still definitely on the same floor as her. TH-THUMP! And they sounded like they were getting closer. RRRUMBLLEE... CRASH!
Drawing himself to his full height and shaking his head, Katsunishiki gave a mighty squeal of rage before he exploded out of the ruined booth, knocking yet another gaping hole in wall that separated the fitting rooms from the rest of the store. On the other side, standing amidst the mangled remains of the pantyhose display wrack, the boar set himself to meet the charge.
At the last moment, however, something jerked him off balance, and both of the massive swine went down, tumbling through the edge-wall and into the large atrium that filled the center of the building. The boar's leash clattered after them, dragging noisily across the tiled floor until finally a struggling Ranma-chan holding the end whipped over the side as well.
Meanwhile, back in what was left of the changing rooms, Ryouga groggily pulled herself out of the wreckage. It hadn't hurt much really, but having the ass of a sixty-stone pig land on your head was a traumatic experience, no matter what the circumstances. Stumbling over to the railing, the stunned blonde stared down in confusion at the chaos below.
The megafauna population of Nerima seemed to have increased by 7% while she wasn't looking. She'd certainly never seen that giant pig before, and she'd seen a lot of pigs in her time. Sobering instantly at that thought, Ryouga took a fearful glance around, but noted with no small amount of relief that there were still only two swine tumbling around in the store's food court.
It also appeared that at some point Ranma had gotten herself hopelessly tangled up in the chain that Ryouga had fastened around the boar's neck. That seemed to happen rather often; she wondered if Mousse had started using trick chains. She also wondered where the boar learned to crack such a mean whip. As Ranma was tossed around like a screaming, red-haired flail, Ryouga suddenly imagined the pair of porcine titans clad in leotards and snapping gymnastics ribbons at each other as they clashed across the tabletops.
"Ren-ya, what's wrong?!" Akane shouted as she rushed up to the smaller girl, who was hunched over, hugging herself and shaking uncontrollably. As the worried brunette got closer, however, she saw that it was mirth and not pain that shone in the blonde's sparkling green eyes. It took a little longer for Ryouga to notice Akane fussing over her, as she kept glancing down at the battle below. Her stomach was starting to hurt, she was laughing so hard.
The other girl finally made her presence known to Ryouga when she felt something warm and soft draped around her shoulders. Wiping tears from her eyes, the lost girl looked up to see a very red-faced dojo heiress clumsily trying to keep all of Ryouga's goods inside a fluffy white bathrobe; it was no mean feat, with their owner was fairly convulsing with laughter.
After Akane narrowly saved her from pitching over the railing as she lept back in shock and embarrassment, both girls slumped against the edge-wall to calm down a bit. Akane was the first to recover. "... Wow, they're still going down there, aren't they?" she observed, staring at the carnage below.
Indeed, the giant swine still appeared to be going strong. The pig had obvious advantages in size and strength, but the boar fought with dizzying speed as well as the sheer, bloody-minded tenacity that Ryouga had come to so despise in the breed. The queer pig-sumo style that the pig used to push his opponent around the landscape made a bizarre contrast to the twisting, darting movements of the boar.
Ranma, on the other hand, seemed to be unconscious. Ryouga couldn't hide the silly grin that again split her face. Okay, that's two things he's good for...
"C'mon, Ranma should be okay. Let's go see if we can find your clothes," Akane suggested pragmatically, leading the disappointed wanderer away from the most fun she'd had in weeks. After a few minutes of sifting through the wreckage they quickly found the four outfits and five other pairs of panties that 'Liáng-yà' had to her name.
Seeing the lost girl's obvious reluctance to put on the silky, sheer pantsuit however, Akane nodded to herself resolutely and dragged Ryouga back to one of the less damaged sections of the store, shoving her in yet another changing room. Thankfully, her stay in this particular zip code of Hell was much shorter than her last, and when they finally left to check on the wayward fiancée, it was a slightly happier little blonde girl that Akane led by the hand down the escalator.
Ryouga was now clad in a pair of baggy olive-green cargo pants, an off-the-shoulder burgundy sweater and a mostly serviceable black sports bra. A few similar items were stacked in her arms, but sadly this included no other good bra prospects. Ryouga was just relieved that Akane had only picked out two skirts, and both of them were significantly less embarrassing than anything in her small pile of Chinese clothes.
The scene that greeted them when they finally arrived at the food court was nothing short of total carnage. Storefronts were smashed in and every table and chair in sight was either shattered or overturned. Debris crunched under their shoes as they circled the atrium, and an unfortunate band of city animal control officers lay in an unconscious heap in one corner. Center stage, however, still belonged to the mighty pigs.
It was a pair of fading giants that danced slowly around the field, both of them on all fours as their strength waned. Then, as if by unspoken agreement, each stopped and dug in their hooves, charging forward in one final contest of might. The impact shook the building like only two tons of heaving, sweaty pig-flesh can, and when the dust cleared they could see that only one of the swine still stood. Placing his fore-hooves on the back of his defeated foe, the boar reared up and pointed his tusks to the sky, squealing his victory to the piggy gods above.
"Katsunishiki!" Emerging from the wings, Unryu Akari ran up to kneel beside her fallen champion. "Oh no... Katsunishiki, how could this happen?" she wailed softly, cradling his great head in her lap.
Meanwhile, Akane went around to examine her thoroughly concussed-looking fiancée. "Urgh... these chains are pretty strong," Akane grunted as she tried to break them, after failing to disentangle Ranma from the mess.
"Yeah, they're..." Ryouga trailed off in embarrassed silence as Akane turned to look at her; an encouraging smile lit up the brunette's face. "...Mousse's," she finished quietly. She breathed a sigh of relief when Akane nodded happily and returned her attention to the unconscious redhead. Slowly, the mad butterflies in her stomach calmed some, thankfully not fluttering up to settle on her vocal cords again.
After a moment, a shy entreat drew both of their gazes aside. "Um... pardon me?" the girl with pink streaks in he hair ventured as she approached.
Hmm, maybe she's Musk. Herb has multi-colored hair, the lost girl mused, warily setting her bundle down to free up her arms. The streaks were cute, but they seemed to clash with the rest of her, and the Musk did practice animal-based martial arts. The girl herself didn't exude any sort of combat readiness, but Ryouga could sense the pig starting to stir.
Akari seemed to be largely ignoring her, however, instead keeping her attention focussed on Akane. A feeling of impending doom washed over both of the Nerima regulars, as the next words left the Sumo pig-trainers mouth. "Do you know where I could find Saotome Ranma?"
The pigtailed girl's head hit the ground with a solid thud as Akane dropped her like a hot potato, and Ryouga broke out in a cold sweat when she saw the veins throbbing at Akane's temple. "Why do you ask?" the brunette drawled sweetly, her smile looking frighteningly strained.
"So wait, Ranma defeated your pig, so now you have to date him??"
"Well, I don't have to date him," Akari admitted with a blush, "but I really would like to meet him again and see if me might be willing to... to..." The long-haired girl clapped her hands over her burning cheeks and looked away, not noticing the incredulous stares she received from across the table. "Oh, I don't know what's come over me! I'm just so happy that I found such a wonderful, pig-like man to beat Katsunishiki!"
"P-Pig like?!" Ranma sputtered, coughing as some of her tea went down the wrong way.
"Oh yes! At first I couldn't believe it; he was handsome like a pig, and strong like a pig, and clever like a pig, and gentle like a pig and..."
As Akari continued to enumerate Ranma's pig-like virtues, Ryouga couldn't help but chuckle at the expression on the pigtailed girl's face. "He sounds like a pig among men," the blonde added giddily.
"Hey, now-!"
"Yes, that's exactly it! You do understand!" Akari squealed, beaming at Ryouga and clutching a fan to her chest. "He's just so perfectly pig-like, I can't get him out of my mind! Katsunishiki and I were following his trail so I could ask him to go out with me when we ran into you this morning. That's why he got so worked up. He smelled Ranma-sama's scent on you..." Turning to the suddenly pale redhead, Akari put on the most innocent, hopeful, fearful look that Ranma had ever seen. "Um... if you don't mind me asking, who are you to Ranma-sama?"
"I'm... uh..." Looking at the thunderheads in Akane eyes, Ranma had the feeling she'd be on the receiving end of her fiancé's wrath no matter what she said. "That is... I'm..."
"A pig among women," Ryouga suggested helpfully, causing some of the gathering storm clouds to migrate from Akane's face to Ranma's.
"Look, I don't... What? What is it now?" Ranma's rebuke died on her lips as she shuffled nervously under the look of shocked understanding that the pig-loving girl was giving her.
"Of course; I should have realized it sooner!" Standing up, Akari stared with tear-filled eyes at the heavens. "You're testing me, to see if I'm worthy of the Perfect Man!"
"Uh... hold on there, that's-"
"It's just like in a story! Right before I can proclaim my love, my champion is defeated by another pig... trained by my destined rival, a Pig Among Women!"
Ranma really didn't like the intense, slightly unhinged stare that Akari was giving her now. "Wait a sec-"
"But I will prove my worthiness!" the brunette shouted, causing the others to hop back a step, then scramble to keep from spilling their tea. "I will train Katsunishiki and I will train myself, until I too am a Pig Among Women! Then, after many trials, I will face my arch rival again, and triumph!" Frothing waves crashed around her as Akari posed defiantly, shaking a delicate fist at the sky.
"And with my victory, I will restore the honor of the Unryuu School of Sumo Pig Training, and earn the blessing of heaven for me to date the Perfect Pig Among Men, Saotome Ranma-sama!" As Katsunishiki wheeled away the HDTV display system that had provided his mistress's dramatic backdrop, Akari knelt again to clutch Ranma's hands in her own. The stars in her eyes made the pigtailed girl cringe. "Please, please tell me your name?"
"Sa- Saotome..." A glance at her two companions was little help; Akane and the blonde looked just a confused as she felt. "Saotome Ran...ko?" Immediately the redhead had the sinking feeling that she'd made a grave mistake.
"Oh- oh, I see! That's wonderful!" Akare seemed elated at hearing 'Ranko's' name. "Are you his sister? A cousin, perhaps? Oh, I'm so pleased to meet you Ranko-sama! I will prove to you that I'm worthy of Ranma-sama's attention, just wait and see!" Releasing Ranma's hand she bowed again as her fallen champion trotted up behind her. "We will meet again, Saotome Ranko-sama, and this time I will be ready!" With that, she fairly vaulted onto Katsunishiki's back, and they thundered off in a cloud of dust.
Looks of ultimate disbelief were exchanged all around for several moments, before the boar finally stood up and started putting away the portable table and tea set they'd borrowed from a nearby display. Dusting debris from her skirt, Akane followed suit, pointedly looking away from Ranma as she gathered up her own purchases. "Well, you certainly handled that well. Now you have another rival and/or fiancé; I hope you're happy."
"Hey, it's not my fault this time! What about her stupid pig?!" Ranma growled, pointing at the smirking lost girl. "She should be the damn 'rival!'"
For a moment Akane seemed to consider this, then turned to look at her new friend. In response, Ryouga put on her best attempt at the doe-eyed, innocent expression that had served her so well as P-chan. "...Don't be so petty, Ranma. We can't blame animals for acting like animals," she decided with a disgusted snort in the direction of the fuming redhead. "Besides, does it even matter who the 'rival' is, if the pigs are the ones who fight? You should have just told her about the curse."
"Hey, ya think I wanna spread it around like that? Besides, what if she freaked out or somethin'?"
"So nice to see you giving such thought to your 'girlfriend's' feelings for a change, Ranma. I hope you're happy together."
"Aw... c'mon, Akane! Don't be like that! I..." Their voices faded into the distance as the pair left the store, Akane walking quickly, trying to ignore the pigtailed girl as Ranma continued to argue in her defense.
Forgotten, Ryouga just shook her head and grinned, feeling much better disposed toward the world than she'd been when she left the Nekohanten that morning. It was bewildering sometimes, how trouble seemed to find Ranma wherever he went. Granted, he caused most of it himself, but it was still uncanny. Now, if only he'd stop getting other people involved, she mused wearily, picking up her new clothes and giving the underwear a pained look.
At least Akane was gone, and she had a slightly better idea of what size bra she wore, but she still dreaded going to another store and risking more 'assistance.' Looking across the devastated food court, she spied an untouched payphone near the door, and remembered an idle thought from earlier. While she picked her way across the battlefield, Ryouga rummaged through the pockets of her borrowed outfit, transferring things into the pockets of her current clothes.
In the process, she located one of the international calling cards that she habitually carried- and what luck, it was the one she'd picked up in Hong-Kong. On the back was a phone number and a note, stamped by a slightly smeared lipstick butterfly. 'Call me next time you're in town! We'll go do something fun ^_~... -Mary.'
Swallowing a nervous lump that rose in her throat, Ryouga lifted the receiver and dialed before she could think about it enough to change her mind. She's in another country. She can't do anything to me from there...
*****
Setting down his bowl on the Nekohanten back step, Mousse breathed a sigh of relief; finally the lunch rush was over, and he could take his break. As he sat and began searching in his robe for a pair of chopsticks, his questing hand fell upon the package that Liáng-yà had given him earlier. Reverently, he pulled the red-wrapped parcel from his sleeve. Reading the card again, the half-blind amazon spent another moment smiling like a fool; 'To: Mousse, From: Rinse.' Despite all the trouble their guest had caused earlier, this made her visit worth it.
Chewing his lip, Mousse stared at the bright red wrapping impatiently. He'd been planning on opening it in the privacy of his room, later, but... Unable to contain himself, he began unfolding the corners of the wrapper, taking care not to damage the expensive-looking red paper. A few moments later, he saw the plain brown of cardboard underneath; the box was big enough to hold a small photo album, and on the cover was a folded letter.
Mousse started scanning the first lines of the letter as he removed the cover, but stopped after he caught sight of the box's contents. "Oh my... he didn't-" The letter fell from his fingers as Mousse reached into the box, extracting a double handful of gleaming metal and lacquered wood. "Father's broadsword collection..." Setting the stack of ancient swords on his lap, collected from generations of defeated opponents, he unsheathed one of the exquisite blades to see it in the light. In the other hand, he picked up the letter again, and began to read. 'To Mousse, I hope this finds you well. A joyous birthday to you, my son, for you are now a man...'
"Thank you father," Mousse murmured quietly, laying the naked blade across his palms and bowing his head for a moment of silence. Sheathing the sword, he continued reading. 'I regret not being able to present these to you in person, but a more conscientious son might have thought to send his poor father some word of his whereabouts, and perhaps a letter once in a while. However, I think I understand your reasons, perhaps better than you know. You are forgiven in any case, as is due by your passage into manhood, but otherwise as well...'
The young amazon breathed a sigh of relief at the pardon for his oversight. His father wasn't a strict parent, but at the same time he was Mousse's master, and could be hard as any amazon warrior that Mousse had ever met, with the possible exception of some of the elders; they were just scary. With the initial formalities dispensed with, however, the letter switched to a more conversational tone.
'Please be sure to give Xiâng Liáng-yà my thanks as well as your own. If we hadn't chanced to meet her on the ferry to Hong-Kong, you likely wouldn't be reading this now. And if you aren't reading this now, remember brave soul, distance is nothing to an amazon. I, Rinse of Joketsuzoku, swear that every hand that these swords pass through before they reach my son's will feel the full wrath of 3000 years of amazon martial history. But it shouldn't come to that. Young Miss Xiâng seems like a very nice, honest girl. If you were ever inclined to listen to anyone's advice regarding your romantic pursuits, may I suggest that your old father wouldn't mind having her as daughter in law. But, since I expect you're still as set in your course as ever, it's at least heartening to know that you're doing well and making friends even out in the barbarian lands.'
Mild confusion seized Mousse as he considered this information. He couldn't remember ever seeing the quiet little blonde before that morning, though admittedly he probably wouldn't recognize her if he had. Cologne had introduced her as though they were meeting for the first time, but it was possible that Liáng-yà had known the elder and Shampoo previously, which might explain why she knew where he could be found. The way she wrote her name also seemed strangely familiar, but any significance it held was blown away by what his father wrote next.
'While we're on the subject of romantic entanglements, I have remarried!' Shocked to the core, Mousse had to reread the sentence several times to make sure he'd seen it right. 'I realize you're probably surprised. I am as well, really; it feels like it was just yesterday that I was courting Soap, and then before I knew it we were in front of the council on the night of the harvest festival, proclaiming our intentions before the elders. But after the furor died down, they gave their blessing, and I hope you will as well.'
Setting aside the unfinished letter, the hidden weapons master took a deep breath and leaned back, staring at the sky. It just didn't seem possible; Mousse had never had any sort of real mother figure, unless you counted the various older women that took care of children around the village, and his father had never seemed inclined to find one. But Rinse had always supported Mousse as much as a concerned parent could when Mousse had started wooing Shampoo, so far be it for him to begrudge his father a chance at the same happiness that he wished for himself.
Still, Soap... the name sounded very familiar. But then it was a common amazon name, one passed down for generations all the way back to the founding. It gnawed at him though, like there was something important about this particular Soap, aside from her marrying his father. Soap, Soap... Who- wait, there was a Soap who was about the right age to marry father, I think...
"AAARGH! NOOO!"
And the skies wept.