"Well, to start with, I wasn't about to burst out and say, 'Hamilton, I
have a daughter', when you didn't even know I was a girl. And then, after
I told you, I wanted to give you some time to get used to that idea before
dropping another bombshell on you. I was pretty close to telling you
before that disastrous date, and before our fight about you moving in. But
then, we came across other things to deal with. And I didn't want to tell
you just before I left, 'cos things were so good. I was gonna tell you as
soon as you got here." Hamilton took this in, and nodded. He understood.
Jake felt her shoulders drop slightly as she noticed he'd accepted what
she'd said.
"I feel like I don't know you anymore."
"You know I don't like salmon." Jake said, and looked at him as he breathed a silent laugh, before continuing on a more serious note. "You know I love you. You know I love riding my bike, and that I'm an ace hacker. You know how much I want my mom's attention. Hamilton, essentially, what you know.is me. With a secret daughter, or one you know about, I've always been myself with you."
Hamilton knew this was true. She'd never put up a front with him; that's why he'd been attracted to her in the first place. But he still had concerns.
"It hurts that you lied, twice." Hamilton paused. "And I feel like I'm unimportant to you, 'cos you didn't tell me. That time in the shower. It meant so much to me, 'cos it made me feel like I was important, and special. Because you showed me some of yourself nobody else has seen. But they have, and more. I feel like I'm not as special any more."
"Oh, Hamilton, you are! You are special.precious, to me. And so important. That's why I didn't sleep with you straight away like I did with other guys. Because you mean more to me than that. Everything we've ever done is special, because it's the first time I've done it in love. When we go all the way, it's not going to be.'having sex', it's going to be making love. And I'm sorry I lied. I don't want to hurt you."
There was a long silence, as Hamilton processed what she'd said. Then, he came out with one of the things that had been really bothering him.
"I'm scared that I'm not gonna be up to anything. I feel small that my girlfriend is more experienced than me." Hamilton blushed slightly as he said that. He knew it was a pretty minor thing, but it would bug any guy, he thought.
"Sex isn't everything, Hamilton. Besides, when we kiss, it's so amazing. So making love to you is bound to be mind blowing! Because I love you, I really do." Jake smiled at him, she knew he wasn't convinced.
"Hamilton." She moved to sit next to him, and turned his face to hers. "Sex was never anything special to me. I never felt much from it. With you, it'll be a completely different experience."
"I just feel like you're a different person now."
"I'm not. Emily's been around all the time I've known you. Just 'cos you know doesn't change anything. It doesn't mean I'll stop whooping your ass at video games. It doesn't mean I'll stop kissing you in the same way, or drooling over your body when you're not looking." Jake smiled slightly when she thought of that. Hamilton's eyes lit up, although Jake didn't see. "It doesn't mean I love you less. It doesn't mean I don't want to make love for the first time to you. I do. Don't doubt me when I say I love you. I do. I love you so much."
Jake knew she'd begun gabbling by now, but she was desperate. "And I know it's hard, but I need you to forgive me. I need you."
Hamilton could sense how desperate she was, and knew that she was rambling. He looked at her intently and could think of nothing other than how much he wanted to kiss her. As she carried on speaking, looking at her hands, he leant toward her. He held her neck and kissed her hard, on the lips.
Jake stopped talking as she felt his strong hands on her neck, and her heart skipped as his lips pressed against hers. *Wow* she thought, as her hands ran up his chest to cradle his face, *that shut me up!*
*That shut her up* he thought, as he moved his lips against hers. He deepened the kiss, and she responded with just as much passion, melting under his touch.
Finally, they broke away for air, breathing heavily. Hamilton looked at Jake and stroked her hair as she looked straight back into the deep pools of emotion that were his eyes.
Their eyes locked and they didn't need words. All was forgiven, and all there was was love.
"I feel like I don't know you anymore."
"You know I don't like salmon." Jake said, and looked at him as he breathed a silent laugh, before continuing on a more serious note. "You know I love you. You know I love riding my bike, and that I'm an ace hacker. You know how much I want my mom's attention. Hamilton, essentially, what you know.is me. With a secret daughter, or one you know about, I've always been myself with you."
Hamilton knew this was true. She'd never put up a front with him; that's why he'd been attracted to her in the first place. But he still had concerns.
"It hurts that you lied, twice." Hamilton paused. "And I feel like I'm unimportant to you, 'cos you didn't tell me. That time in the shower. It meant so much to me, 'cos it made me feel like I was important, and special. Because you showed me some of yourself nobody else has seen. But they have, and more. I feel like I'm not as special any more."
"Oh, Hamilton, you are! You are special.precious, to me. And so important. That's why I didn't sleep with you straight away like I did with other guys. Because you mean more to me than that. Everything we've ever done is special, because it's the first time I've done it in love. When we go all the way, it's not going to be.'having sex', it's going to be making love. And I'm sorry I lied. I don't want to hurt you."
There was a long silence, as Hamilton processed what she'd said. Then, he came out with one of the things that had been really bothering him.
"I'm scared that I'm not gonna be up to anything. I feel small that my girlfriend is more experienced than me." Hamilton blushed slightly as he said that. He knew it was a pretty minor thing, but it would bug any guy, he thought.
"Sex isn't everything, Hamilton. Besides, when we kiss, it's so amazing. So making love to you is bound to be mind blowing! Because I love you, I really do." Jake smiled at him, she knew he wasn't convinced.
"Hamilton." She moved to sit next to him, and turned his face to hers. "Sex was never anything special to me. I never felt much from it. With you, it'll be a completely different experience."
"I just feel like you're a different person now."
"I'm not. Emily's been around all the time I've known you. Just 'cos you know doesn't change anything. It doesn't mean I'll stop whooping your ass at video games. It doesn't mean I'll stop kissing you in the same way, or drooling over your body when you're not looking." Jake smiled slightly when she thought of that. Hamilton's eyes lit up, although Jake didn't see. "It doesn't mean I love you less. It doesn't mean I don't want to make love for the first time to you. I do. Don't doubt me when I say I love you. I do. I love you so much."
Jake knew she'd begun gabbling by now, but she was desperate. "And I know it's hard, but I need you to forgive me. I need you."
Hamilton could sense how desperate she was, and knew that she was rambling. He looked at her intently and could think of nothing other than how much he wanted to kiss her. As she carried on speaking, looking at her hands, he leant toward her. He held her neck and kissed her hard, on the lips.
Jake stopped talking as she felt his strong hands on her neck, and her heart skipped as his lips pressed against hers. *Wow* she thought, as her hands ran up his chest to cradle his face, *that shut me up!*
*That shut her up* he thought, as he moved his lips against hers. He deepened the kiss, and she responded with just as much passion, melting under his touch.
Finally, they broke away for air, breathing heavily. Hamilton looked at Jake and stroked her hair as she looked straight back into the deep pools of emotion that were his eyes.
Their eyes locked and they didn't need words. All was forgiven, and all there was was love.