Disclaimer: If you think I own these characters then I hate to break it to you but I don't. They belong to Cameron etc.

Authors Note: I just want to apologise for any typos or incoherence in the last chapter. I wrote and posted that strung out on caffeine, university deadlines and no sleep for the past week. Because you reviewed anyway, I updated sooner than I planned! See what power the reviewer holds!

DARK TERROR

Chapter 11 - Always

Max sat on the edge of the creaky bed. Her hands twisted anxiously as she looked at the old clock on the wall, for what must have been the hundredth time. Where is he? That was the question that had been hounding Max's brain for the last few hours. Ever since Alec had practically ran out of the room after kissing her. Max could swear she could still feel Alec's lips on hers, the swollen taste of his kiss, the copper taste of her own blood…

Despite herself Max had wanted Alec, his need had reawakened something inside herself that she had thought had died with Logan. A desire to be with someone else, fully. To feel them inside her, feel another's heartbeat against her own. To just feel alive. Max was a little shaken by the strength of her reaction to the few kisses Alec had given her. Even when he had become rough with his animal instinct, all Max had felt was the returning fire that she had denied for too long.

Max had never been with one of her own kind before, she hadn't known how right it would feel or how quickly the passion could rise. Passion. That was all Max could think of this in terms of. As much as she admitted she cared for and desired Alec, still there was a part of Max that felt her heart belonged to Logan.

Wringing her hands, Max rose and started to pace back and forth in the small room. She knew it was her fault Alec was gone and despite herself a small sliver of fear had worked its way into her spine. What if Alec didn't come back? He had been there for her through so much and for so long that Max didn't know how to be alone anymore. Could she run from White without Alec? Could she take the night terrors without his soothing touch and whispered murmurs of reassurance? Could she get up each morning and fight for her life? Could she? Would she?

Until now Max hadn't questioned how much she had come to depend on Alec. Although she had been trying to recover and return to her old independent state, she was still a long way off. As much as she hated to admit it, Max needed Alec. Not to take care of her, with food and practicalities. She needed him to give her a reason to survive what her life had become. When Max looked at the world all she saw was a grey broken place that the love of her life had died wanting to save. Where once there was a warm place where she had friends and family, where she had loved and been loved in return, there was now death. Tinga. Ben. Logan. Zack was lost to her as were her other brothers and sisters and now it was too dangerous for her to ever see any of her friends again. Not Original Cindy or Kendra, Sketchy even Normal. Max was alone except for Alec. He was there for her, he loved her. It was obvious in everything he did and Max needed him to give her that spark of life she had lost, the ability to feel things again, to care if she lived or died.

And now he was gone. One part of Max knew, just knew that Alec would never abandon her, not now, not like this. But doubt refused reason and countered with the logic of love. Love was dangerous, it made people, even transgenics, especially transgenics, unpredictable. Look at Zack, it wasn't until Max had refused to reciprocate his unbrotherly emotions that Zack had decided Logan was to blame for everything and tried to kill him.

Max chewed nervously on her lower lip and glanced again at the slowly ticking clock. Only 2 minutes had passed. Max gave up her pacing and sank down onto the overused mattress of the bed. She felt herself wanting to retreat from the fear and pain inside her, back into the emptiness her mind temptingly offered.

"No!" Max emphatically commanded herself. "I'm not going to. Not this time." Max looked around the room. Have to focus, have to keep myself aware. She thought. Max reached over to the bedside table and picked up the remote control. She flicked on the television and started channel hopping hoping to find something to maintain her attention. Twenty seven channels and nothing but crap on. Guess some things never change. Max switched the set off in disgust. I'm going to have a shower.

Standing Max started across the room to the small bathroom. She hesitated in the door frame as she remembered Alec's heated kisses and her fingers unconsciously pressed against her full lips.

Lost in the memory Max jumped when the door to the motel room slammed shut. Turning Max saw Alec standing there. "Alec!" Max started towards him, her relief obvious. She stopped as she fully took in his appearance. "Alec?"

He was slumped like he simply didn't have the strength to stand up properly and his hand was a mashed bloody mess. But it was the coldness in his eyes that scared Max the most. The cagey study of her which stopped her steps. Aside from her initial meeting with Alec, Max had never mistaken him for Ben, never seen her murdering brother in that identical face. Now she did and it froze her with uncertainty. What had happened?

"Max." The word was almost a growl and Max involuntarily took a step back. This seemed to please Alec and he seemed to gather the strength to mirror her pace with one towards her.

"Alec?" The whispered name was almost questioning.

Alec froze, a look of brief confusion flickered on his face. Alec. He was Alec, not 493. Not even 494 anymore. Alec. He repeated the name in his own mind. He was Alec and she was Max. Max who he loved. Max who he was scaring right now.

Max watched as Alec's features twisted with anguish before he tried to take another step towards her. He didn't make it and crumbled to his knees, grabbing his head with both hands as though in physical pain. Max's fear vanished as quickly as it came. She rushed to him, wrapping her arms around his torso, trying to hold him as close as she could.

Confused and scared now of what had happened to Alec rather than of Alec, Max's face registered her fear as she tried to soothe him.

At the feel of Max's arms encircling him a terrible keening sound tore from Alec's lips and he started rocking back and forth on his knees. His body jerked against Max's hold but she maintained her grip as she smoothed his hair back off his face while trying to control her own panic.

"Shhh. Its okay Alec, your okay." Max desperately whispered assurances into his ear, unknowing what had caused him to break down like this. The urge to give in to the numb escape her mind offered was nearly overwhelming but Max fought against it with a passion she hadn't realised she was still able to summon. Alec needed her now. He needed her. There was no way she was going to leave him alone like this.

"Max…" Alec's body shuddered as he tried to say the name of the woman holding him so strongly. Gut wrenching sobs choked his voice and Max hushed him again.

"I'm here Alec, I'm right here." Her voice was so gentle and caring. Loving almost. If Alec didn't know better he would say it was love that softened her voice and calmed the storm raging in his heart and mind. But it couldn't be, Max hated him. He had betrayed her, he was filth, a killer. He was no better than 493, no better than White.

Alec felt his soul writhe in his body at that thought. Oh God Max! Alec refused to let the comforting warmth of Max's arms and voice soothe his pain. He didn't deserve it, look at all pain he caused. I killed Rachel, destroyed her father, led White to Logan, let White destroy Max… I'm poison. Poison.

"No!" The word forceful cry of Max's wrenched Alec back into the ugly motel room. Max was in front of him now and was shaking him lightly. "No! Your not poison Alec! How can you even think that?" Alec was startled by the vehemence in her voice and shocked by the realisation that he had been speaking his thoughts out loud.

"Its all my fault Max-" Alec spoke brokenly. "I'm a killer, even when I try not to be- I end up hurting those I love most."

Max couldn't believe the hurt in his voice, the anguish. How could he blame himself for these things? However much he screwed up, he always tried. He tried to do the best he could, tried to do the right thing despite whatever terrible circumstances there were.

"No Alec." Max felt helpless then, helpless for the right words that would reach through the layers of grief and pain he was trapped in. Their roles had suddenly reversed and he needed her now. Needed her to be there for him. Max's mind raced as she tried to think of something, anything to help him. "Alec-" Her mind cleared. Moving her hand carefully she touched his face.

It was a tentative touch, hardly brushing the skin. Alec looked up, tears still suspended in his hazel eyes. Max met his gaze with her own steady brown one. Her eyes were warm with empathy and she gently moved her finger over the smooth skin of his cheek. Alec closed his eyes as her touch became more confident and firm. Max's thumb caught the tear that fell like a crystal drop and brushed it away.

"Alec…" Max breathed his name and leaned forward to capture his lips in the barest of kisses before pulling back. Slowly Alec opened his eyes. His previous shaking had ceased. Max's kiss had stilled him to his bones. He gazed at her, his stare questioning and needy. He needed her so badly, loved her so much it hurt. Her soft brown eyes were filled with trepidation and fear and… and love?

"Max. How can you stand me, I hurt you tonight! Its what I do!" Alec raised his voice as he tried to force Max to acknowledge what he was. He held up his hand to show her the broken fingers and blood stained skin. "Look at what I did to those bounty hunters. I didn't just kill these men, I hurt them, I hurt and I kill!" Max turned away from him then, fighting to hold back the tears that built.

Alec grabbed her face, his fingers gripping her hard as he forced her to look at the evidence of the crime he had committed. "I killed 4 men tonight Max. And a part of me relished it." Max's lips were trembling and Alec released her, closing his eyes shut tight, knowing he was destroying any last chance he had with her. "I'm a monster. You deserve better than me." He whispered, sinking back, defeated by the nightmare of the last 6 months.

Numbness pervaded Alec's body and he felt dead inside.

A tiny nerve within danced alive with electricity. Alec felt a tingle of warmth, a spark of life and opened his eyes to see Max holding his large damaged hand in both of her tiny palms and pressing her lips carefully to the bloodied fingers.

"Max?" She looked up at him.

"You do what you have to Alec, just like we all do. I've done things I regret, I've killed and your right, it is wrong. Don't kid yourself, its always wrong. But sometimes it's the lesser wrong. The lesser evil." Alec looked at her, wanting to believe her words, wanting to believe he wasn't beyond redemption, beyond deserving love. Max released his hand and cupped his face, her fingers once more smoothing away the tears that unknowingly fell.

Max knew he wasn't convinced yet, that he was still emersed in darkness and she longed to heal him as he had her. "I killed Ben." She spoke quietly, her tone conveying how much it still pained her to think of her dead brother. Alec looked up then, his eyes registering shock. He hadn't known that it had been Max who was responsible for his genetic twins death.

Max looked slightly fearful now as she told him her story. "I broke his legs and then Lydecker came. I couldn't get us both away so he asked me to- to kill him." Max swallowed hard as she remembered that terrible moment. "And I did. I loved him so much Alec, but Lydecker would have-"

"I know Max." Alec's voice was gentle as he tried to comfort her. "You did the right thing." Max shook her head.

"No. I chose the lesser wrong. It was more right to kill Ben than to let Lydecker take him. Even though I sometimes wonder and doubt if there had been another way, I did what I had to, just like you promised you would do for me if it came to that."

This was the most honest they had ever been with each other and the atmosphere was almost raw with feeling. But Alec felt he had to tell her the truth about himself. "I lost control, like I did with you before. When I was fighting those men, I just lost control, I was like 49- like Ben."

"Those men were Hunters, Ben killed innocents Alec." Max said.

"So have I." Rachel. Max closed her eyes in empathy, understanding the guilt of being responsible for the death of someone you love, even inadvently.

"We try Alec, its all we can do. Logan told me once that he knew who I was, that despite what I had done in my life the important thing was that I run from the darkness…"

"Its always there though, right behind us." Alec completed softly. Max was startled but realised he understood, maybe all the Manticore survivors did. "You still love Logan don't you Max." It wasn't a question it was a statement but Max answered anyway.

"Yes."

Alec tried to hide his pain at hearing the words he already knew as he made his second promise to Max. "I'll always be here Max." He vowed. "I'll stand between you and the dark." He ran his fingers through her long silky hair meeting her gaze with resolution. "Always."

The intensity of Alec's stare discomforted Max slightly so she stood, offering a hand to Alec as she did. Alec took her hand and rose too. For a moment they just stood there, Max looking at the ground and Alec looking at Max.

"Thank you." Max spoke quietly. "I know I haven't said it before but- thank you for everything." Alec inhaled sharply at her words and Max looked up at him. "You saved me Alec. From something so terrible I didn't know that I wanted to survive but you saved me, from White and…and from myself."

Alec couldn't say anything, he knew what it meant for Max to say the words and admit what she had been through but it wasn't her gratitude he wanted. Max lifted his injured hand and frowned.

"This needs fixing, come on." Pulling lightly on his other hand, Max led Alec to the bathroom. Alec silently leaned against the counter as he let Max wash the blood off his hand. When she moved the broken fingers, testing them, he hissed slightly in pain.

Max said nothing but looked up apologetically before resuming her inspection. Three broken fingers, the rest were just badly bruised. There was an open gash across his knuckles that was still stubbornly eking blood. Max picked up one of the motel towels and checked that it was reasonably clean before tearing it into very thin strips.

"How did you use to do in field med.?" Alec asked lightly. Max smiled relieved that he was trying to break the tension, setting the small bones was going to hurt and distraction was good. The improvised bandages stood by and Max grasped on of the fingers.

"Not great. But I've had lots of practice since Manticore. You ready? On the count of 3. One-" SNAP. Alec stifled a cry of pain and Max winced in empathy. The knuckle of that one had also been dislocated so she had fixed them both at the same time.

"I knew you were going to do that" Alec said breathless.

"Sorry. The other two wont be as bad." Max offered by way of comfort. Alec nodded and indicated for her to continue.

"Lets get this bitch over with then." Max concentrated on sheer speed since misdirection wasn't helping and soon each bone was tightly set and wrapped in the support of the field bandage.

"They should really be splinted." Max worried but Alec shrugged.

"They'll be fine, heal before you know it." Max noticed a stiff movement in his shoulder and looked closer. The shirt he was wearing was black but there was a damp patch on his shoulder. Max reached out quickly and touched it, snatching her fingers away when Alec yelped in pain.

"Damn! Alec did you get shot?" Max asked incredulous.

"Its just a graze." Alec said defensively. Max sighed.

"Take of your shirt and let me see." She ordered, already ripping up another towel. Max didn't see as Alec hesitated and tensed, but he pulled his t shirt over his head, leaving his well toned chest bare. Max turned back to him and stopped at the sight of Alec's naked torso. The shoulder wound wasn't actually that bad and had stopped bleeding.


Not trusting herself to talk, Max silently cleaned the injury and wrapped the towel around his shoulder. Alec's jaw clenched when he felt her feather light touch to his sensitive skin. Did she know what she was doing to him? The bandage in place Max quickly stepped back.

Alec flexed his arm, making sure the bandage held. It was fine. "Thanks." He said still tense from the contact. Max said nothing, she just looked at him. Uncomfortable Alec stood and started to make his way to the door. "I'll take the couch tonight if you want." He offered, walking into the main room, still aware of Max's eyes on him.

"Its not a problem. We can still share the bed." Max told him. Alec turned around and was startled to see Max standing only inches away from him. His breath caught and he was instantly aware of every part of his body. The air was thick from the emotions of the evening.

"Max…" It was a warning. She knew what she was doing, knew she was pushing him somewhere he was powerless to resist. Their faces were close together, he wasn't sure how his head had been drawn down to hers but he could breath her air and feel her fill his lungs. She was everywhere, invading all his senses. But he couldn't close the final gap, he wouldn't.

Max licked her lips and Alec almost lost control at the sight. Max's gaze was transfixed by his mouth, he was so close she could almost taste him. She heard his warning but after the night they had been through she didn't care. He needed her, and she needed him. Differently but did that make it wrong? Max closed the space between them and place a gentle kiss on Alec's lower lip. He was so tightly strung that Max could practically feel the air vibrating between them.

Alec was holding himself still just barely. When Max kissed him he felt all of his nerve ending rush to his mouth. Then she took his lower lip between hers and started to suck gently, Alec lost it and sank into her mouth with his own, kissing her fully.

She tasted so good, just as he remembered. Alec lost himself in Max's flavour, his hands moving to her back to pull her closer. God! He couldn't get close enough! Max responded in kind matching Alec's fever with her own.

But kisses soon weren't enough and though they delved harder and further into each others mouths, their desperation was spilling over. Alec's hands slid under Max's shirt and caressed the silky skin he found there, as he pulled her all the time against his body. He needed to feel every inch of her against him.

Dragging his mouth from hers, Alec moved his lips to suckle against Max's throat, hearing her gasp as he lavished the vulnerable flesh with his tongue. Max tilted her head to give him better access and scratched her nails lightly over his nipples.

"Max…" Alec groaned, her name a benediction, a prayer.

The two of them stumbled to the bed and they fell to the worn mattress together. Alec braced himself above Max's body and for just a moment held himself off her to gaze down at the beauty beneath him. Max looked up and met his eyes, silently pleading for him not to ask for more than she could give. Alec nodded almost imperceptibly and Max gave him a gift.

"I need you Alec." She whispered softly. Alec felt his heart wrench, in pain, in gratitude, in love.

"I know. I love you Max." He whispered back, his voice rough with emotion. Max smiled sadly at him and leaned up to kiss him and pull his body down to hers, to share herself with this man who stood between her and the darkness.

"I know."

TBC.