Chapter 5
"There is only one more. This one is deep, so brace yourself." Wesley told Serena, then began to dig for the last shard of glass lost in her skin. She closed her eyes and ignored the pain.
"There it is." Wesley dug deeper. "Almost got it.." He paused, concentrating. "There, got it." He triumphantly held the sharp glass with his tweezers.
Serena sat up on the couch and rubbed her forehead in deep thought. "So what do we do about Christian?" She wanted to add that she felt an attraction, but pushed the feeling aside.
Besides, Angel was there, and there was a thing there between them. She didn't know what to call it exactly, but it was most definitely a thing. She continued, ignoring her own thoughts.
"Cordelia said that there was no one in her vision that needed rescuing. Do you think that she could be mistaken?" She desperately searched for an answer.
"No, I'm not mistaken. I know for a fact that whoever owns that house was away.Christian wasn't supposed to be there." Cordelia repeated.
"B-but." Serena wanted to protect Christian as much as she could, without giving her feelings away. "Then why was he there?"
Angel, who had been silent the whole time, spoke up. "I don't know, but I'm going to find out." He stood and sat next to Serena. "You're going to help get the answers."
Serena looked bewildered. "Me?" she squeaked. "Why me?"
"Because he has already met you and you saved his life." Angel replied matter-of-factly. "All you have to do is find out the answers to our questions. Maybe nothing's going on. Maybe Cordy was mistaken. But maybe, just maybe, Christian ties in to the whole shadow creature thing."
"Christian? How?" Serena trilled, feeling very uncomfortable.
"I just have this weird gut feeling that he does." Angel replied, standing.
"Trust Angel's gut feeling. It usually leads in the right direction." Cordy piped up.
"Fine. I'll do it." Serena said helplessly. "I'm tired. I'm going to sleep."
Drained, she walked up the stairs to her room. Angel intercepted her before she could disappear into her room.
"You're acting strange. Is there something wrong?" he asked, worry masking his eyes.
Serena forced herself not to look into his eyes. She would fall if she did. Those beautiful, piercing eyes always saw the truth in her, whether she lied or not. She turned away from him, ignoring the dull aching pain coursing through her.
"I'm fine." She told him lifelessly.
"Did something happen? Serena, look at me." He pleaded, gently grasping her shoulders and forcing her to look him in the eye. Her eyes were clouded and unable to read. He ignored the urge to pull her close, to hold her. She looked so helpless, like she was a little girl, lost.
"Serena." he murmured. The urge was too strong. His lips captured hers, and he was lost in her. Serena's eyes watered, feeling a tug at her heart.
"Angel." She began, breaking the kiss. He looked at her solemnly. "I love you." Her fingers danced lightly across his face. He said nothing. He couldn't say the words he wanted to. He knew the consequences.
She stared at his face, waiting expectantly for an answer. Angel watched her face crumble, and her eyes become damp.
Serena fought the anger that was fast approaching. "See? You can't even tell me you love me." She seethed. "If you do, you turn all evil, and start eating my people and I'd have to kill you." She turned her back to him. "It's not fair."
"You knew when you were coming into this that there were going to be consequences." He forced her around, to face her. "I'm not human, not yet. And as much as we both want it to be that way, it isn't, and it may not ever be that way."
"And what is 'this' exactly? This thing?" She asked, her voice rising. "Love should be reciprocal."
Angel's expression softened. "Serena, you know I do." He did love her, whether she believed it or not. This love inside him was more real than anything he ever felt. It was the one reason why he woke up in the evening, ready to fight the darkness in which he came from, why he was receiving his humanity at all. If she only knew.Angel thought to himself grimly.
"Do I? You never tell me that you love me. I want to be able to hear it." She hid her face from him. He knew she was crying. She never liked to show weakness, especially in front of him.
"I'm tired and going to bed. I suggest you do the same." She closed the door behind her, leaving Angel out in the hallway. He had heard the tears and the hurt in her voice. She couldn't disguise it from him. Heavy- hearted and extremely tired, he laid down and fell into a dreamless sleep.
*****
"So you had a dream about Angel after you two have a fight." Cordelia summed up that afternoon. "What does Angel do in the dream?"
Serena turned pink at the thought of the breathtaking dream she had when she fell asleep. "Oh, you know." She trailed off, remembering how she felt in the dream. A smile touched her lips.
"Oh!! Okay, I get your drift!" Cordelia winked. She moved in close. "Was it one of those dreams where you could feel his lips and smell his hair?" she asked, longing for details.
Serena smiled dreamily. "It was definitely surround-sound." She replied. Cordelia smiled at this. This girl was definitely in love.
Serena snapped out of it when she saw Angel walk down the stairs. She shot Cordelia a warning look, who concealed a secret smile. Angel didn't look happy. Serena knew she hurt him, but she couldn't help the way she felt about the "L" word, or the way Christian's eyes glowed in the dark the night before. She was so confused. She was a teenager, the Slayer, in love with a vampire with a soul, and interested in a man who was attacked by shadow monsters and may have something to do with the attacks. She mentally shook her head. All in the life of the Slayer. She sighed. She stood, ready to face Angel.
"So, are we ready to do the Christian thing?" she asked with forced cheerfulness. Angel gazed at her for a moment, then walked into his office. "Okay, that's for the clarification!" She waved at the closed door and slumped in her seat. Her mind drifted back to the dream, still so vivid in her mind. She wanted Angel like that more than anything. She loved him in a way she never thought she could love anybody, especially a vampire. But he was going to be human. That changed everything. Would he still love her after he turned human? The thought frightened her.
"I'm going for a walk." She told Cordelia miserably. Cordy nodded, concerned for her friend, but said nothing and let her go.
The sun shone brightly about an hour before sunset. Serena walked to her favorite spot and settled on the bench, watching the people move about their lives. All of those people were oblivious to the darkness that surrounded them. Oblivious or just ignoring that fact. She thought. Her mind wandered to Christian. Somehow, she knew Angel was right. She had the feeling that Christian was involved with the shadows too. Is that what drew her to him? She knew in order to win this fight, she would have to lie to him and find out all she could about him and how he was involved. She didn't like lying, but if she had to do it, she would. Angel's humanity was on the line. She sensed that is was standing between Angel and his redemption and that she had to help as much as she could. She knew that no matter how much she was drawn to Christian, she loved Angel more deeply than she ever thought she could. She looked up at the sky. The sun had set and darkness was beginning to fall. Better head back. She thought. She turned and found herself face to face with Christian.
"Oh!" she gasped. "Oh, Christian! You scared me!" She placed a hand over her heart.
"I'm sorry." He smiled at her and steadied her.
"How did you know I was here?" she asked, knowing what she had to do . "I was walking in the park and saw you sitting there. I decided to come and thank you once again." Christian said smoothly.
"Oh, well you're welcome. It was no problem, really." Serena answered.
"How about some coffee?" Christian offered. Serena nodded after a few moments.
They ordered their coffee and Serena excused herself. "You know, the ladies room." She forced a sweet smile. She made a beeline for the payphone instead. She dropped in a quarter and punched the buttons.
"Hello? Angel Investigations. We help the helpless!" Cordelia chirped cheerfully.
"Cordy, get Angel. I need to talk to him." Serena said urgently.
"Serena?" Cordy asked.
"Yes. Get Angel. Now." She commanded, impatiently waiting on the phone and anxiously glancing over her shoulder.
"Serena." Angel's voice filled the phone. "Where are you? You just disappeared." She detected a hint of worry in his voice. A good sign.
"I know. I'm sorry. I went out for a walk and was about to come back, when I bumped into guess who?" she filled him in.
"Christian?" Angel asked.
"Bingo." Serena lowered her voice. "I'm having coffee with him right now. I'm going to try to get something out of him, but I'm warning you, I may have to get it out the hard way."
Angel was silent for a moment. "Do whatever you have to, just nothing too drastic." He still cared! Even though he was mad, he still cared.
"I won't." Serena promised quickly. "Angel?"
"Yeah?" he answered.
"I'm sorry." She said, her voice warm.
"We'll talk later. Keep in touch over the phone." He told her. Her heartbeat quickened.
"I will. Stay by the phone. I don't want to go through Cordy again." She glanced at her table. Christian was waiting patiently. "I have to go."
"Okay." What should come next?
Serena decided to go for the plunge. "I love you, Angel. And you don't have to say anything back because I know you do." She said rapidly.
"Like I said before, you know I do. I just am not allowed to say the words." Angel's voice was sad.
"Bye." She hung up the phone and plastered a smile on her face.
She sauntered back over to the table. "Sorry I was so long." She apologized.
Christian grinned. "It's fine."
"So what do you do for a living?" Serena asked with forced interest.
"I am a researcher. I research history, basically." His smile faded to a weak, forced smile.
"History? What kind of history?" she asked.
"Oh, its very complex. You wouldn't understand." His smiled disappeared all together.
"Can I at least see where you work?" she asked, trying to remain cool.
He thought for a second. "I guess it wouldn't hurt." They finished their coffee and began walking. By then, it was easily 9 p.m. She followed Christian to the graveyard.
"What are we doing in a graveyard?" she asked.
"You'll see. Just follow me and stay close." Christian led the way. Before long, they came upon a crypt. "This is where I work."
Possibilities started clicking into Serena's mind. "So, you study the remains of dead people?" she asked, pretending to be disgusted.
"Something like that. I am a medical examiner. This person in this crypt was supposedly murdered. I am trying to tie the suspected murderer to the person who was killed."
"Can we go inside?" She started moving toward the crypt, in an effort to go inside.
"NO!" Christian grabbed her arm, loosing his cool. "No. That is a medical sight that can't be disturbed. You might ruin the evidence." He said, much calmer the second time.
"Oh." Serena had a funny feeling that he was hiding something. She checked her watch. "Oh, wow. I have to be going. I promised my.my brother that I would be home to help him with his homework." She sputtered through her excuse.
"Well, let me walk you to your home." Christian offered.
"No, um, I'll be fine. I want to see you again though." She mentally gagged at this. She no longer found him intriguing, but dangerous.
"Here, have my phone number and call me whenever you're free." Christian smiled as he scribbled his phone number on a sheet of scrap paper. He walked her out of the graveyard.
"Well, goodbye!" Serena walked away.
"There is only one more. This one is deep, so brace yourself." Wesley told Serena, then began to dig for the last shard of glass lost in her skin. She closed her eyes and ignored the pain.
"There it is." Wesley dug deeper. "Almost got it.." He paused, concentrating. "There, got it." He triumphantly held the sharp glass with his tweezers.
Serena sat up on the couch and rubbed her forehead in deep thought. "So what do we do about Christian?" She wanted to add that she felt an attraction, but pushed the feeling aside.
Besides, Angel was there, and there was a thing there between them. She didn't know what to call it exactly, but it was most definitely a thing. She continued, ignoring her own thoughts.
"Cordelia said that there was no one in her vision that needed rescuing. Do you think that she could be mistaken?" She desperately searched for an answer.
"No, I'm not mistaken. I know for a fact that whoever owns that house was away.Christian wasn't supposed to be there." Cordelia repeated.
"B-but." Serena wanted to protect Christian as much as she could, without giving her feelings away. "Then why was he there?"
Angel, who had been silent the whole time, spoke up. "I don't know, but I'm going to find out." He stood and sat next to Serena. "You're going to help get the answers."
Serena looked bewildered. "Me?" she squeaked. "Why me?"
"Because he has already met you and you saved his life." Angel replied matter-of-factly. "All you have to do is find out the answers to our questions. Maybe nothing's going on. Maybe Cordy was mistaken. But maybe, just maybe, Christian ties in to the whole shadow creature thing."
"Christian? How?" Serena trilled, feeling very uncomfortable.
"I just have this weird gut feeling that he does." Angel replied, standing.
"Trust Angel's gut feeling. It usually leads in the right direction." Cordy piped up.
"Fine. I'll do it." Serena said helplessly. "I'm tired. I'm going to sleep."
Drained, she walked up the stairs to her room. Angel intercepted her before she could disappear into her room.
"You're acting strange. Is there something wrong?" he asked, worry masking his eyes.
Serena forced herself not to look into his eyes. She would fall if she did. Those beautiful, piercing eyes always saw the truth in her, whether she lied or not. She turned away from him, ignoring the dull aching pain coursing through her.
"I'm fine." She told him lifelessly.
"Did something happen? Serena, look at me." He pleaded, gently grasping her shoulders and forcing her to look him in the eye. Her eyes were clouded and unable to read. He ignored the urge to pull her close, to hold her. She looked so helpless, like she was a little girl, lost.
"Serena." he murmured. The urge was too strong. His lips captured hers, and he was lost in her. Serena's eyes watered, feeling a tug at her heart.
"Angel." She began, breaking the kiss. He looked at her solemnly. "I love you." Her fingers danced lightly across his face. He said nothing. He couldn't say the words he wanted to. He knew the consequences.
She stared at his face, waiting expectantly for an answer. Angel watched her face crumble, and her eyes become damp.
Serena fought the anger that was fast approaching. "See? You can't even tell me you love me." She seethed. "If you do, you turn all evil, and start eating my people and I'd have to kill you." She turned her back to him. "It's not fair."
"You knew when you were coming into this that there were going to be consequences." He forced her around, to face her. "I'm not human, not yet. And as much as we both want it to be that way, it isn't, and it may not ever be that way."
"And what is 'this' exactly? This thing?" She asked, her voice rising. "Love should be reciprocal."
Angel's expression softened. "Serena, you know I do." He did love her, whether she believed it or not. This love inside him was more real than anything he ever felt. It was the one reason why he woke up in the evening, ready to fight the darkness in which he came from, why he was receiving his humanity at all. If she only knew.Angel thought to himself grimly.
"Do I? You never tell me that you love me. I want to be able to hear it." She hid her face from him. He knew she was crying. She never liked to show weakness, especially in front of him.
"I'm tired and going to bed. I suggest you do the same." She closed the door behind her, leaving Angel out in the hallway. He had heard the tears and the hurt in her voice. She couldn't disguise it from him. Heavy- hearted and extremely tired, he laid down and fell into a dreamless sleep.
*****
"So you had a dream about Angel after you two have a fight." Cordelia summed up that afternoon. "What does Angel do in the dream?"
Serena turned pink at the thought of the breathtaking dream she had when she fell asleep. "Oh, you know." She trailed off, remembering how she felt in the dream. A smile touched her lips.
"Oh!! Okay, I get your drift!" Cordelia winked. She moved in close. "Was it one of those dreams where you could feel his lips and smell his hair?" she asked, longing for details.
Serena smiled dreamily. "It was definitely surround-sound." She replied. Cordelia smiled at this. This girl was definitely in love.
Serena snapped out of it when she saw Angel walk down the stairs. She shot Cordelia a warning look, who concealed a secret smile. Angel didn't look happy. Serena knew she hurt him, but she couldn't help the way she felt about the "L" word, or the way Christian's eyes glowed in the dark the night before. She was so confused. She was a teenager, the Slayer, in love with a vampire with a soul, and interested in a man who was attacked by shadow monsters and may have something to do with the attacks. She mentally shook her head. All in the life of the Slayer. She sighed. She stood, ready to face Angel.
"So, are we ready to do the Christian thing?" she asked with forced cheerfulness. Angel gazed at her for a moment, then walked into his office. "Okay, that's for the clarification!" She waved at the closed door and slumped in her seat. Her mind drifted back to the dream, still so vivid in her mind. She wanted Angel like that more than anything. She loved him in a way she never thought she could love anybody, especially a vampire. But he was going to be human. That changed everything. Would he still love her after he turned human? The thought frightened her.
"I'm going for a walk." She told Cordelia miserably. Cordy nodded, concerned for her friend, but said nothing and let her go.
The sun shone brightly about an hour before sunset. Serena walked to her favorite spot and settled on the bench, watching the people move about their lives. All of those people were oblivious to the darkness that surrounded them. Oblivious or just ignoring that fact. She thought. Her mind wandered to Christian. Somehow, she knew Angel was right. She had the feeling that Christian was involved with the shadows too. Is that what drew her to him? She knew in order to win this fight, she would have to lie to him and find out all she could about him and how he was involved. She didn't like lying, but if she had to do it, she would. Angel's humanity was on the line. She sensed that is was standing between Angel and his redemption and that she had to help as much as she could. She knew that no matter how much she was drawn to Christian, she loved Angel more deeply than she ever thought she could. She looked up at the sky. The sun had set and darkness was beginning to fall. Better head back. She thought. She turned and found herself face to face with Christian.
"Oh!" she gasped. "Oh, Christian! You scared me!" She placed a hand over her heart.
"I'm sorry." He smiled at her and steadied her.
"How did you know I was here?" she asked, knowing what she had to do . "I was walking in the park and saw you sitting there. I decided to come and thank you once again." Christian said smoothly.
"Oh, well you're welcome. It was no problem, really." Serena answered.
"How about some coffee?" Christian offered. Serena nodded after a few moments.
They ordered their coffee and Serena excused herself. "You know, the ladies room." She forced a sweet smile. She made a beeline for the payphone instead. She dropped in a quarter and punched the buttons.
"Hello? Angel Investigations. We help the helpless!" Cordelia chirped cheerfully.
"Cordy, get Angel. I need to talk to him." Serena said urgently.
"Serena?" Cordy asked.
"Yes. Get Angel. Now." She commanded, impatiently waiting on the phone and anxiously glancing over her shoulder.
"Serena." Angel's voice filled the phone. "Where are you? You just disappeared." She detected a hint of worry in his voice. A good sign.
"I know. I'm sorry. I went out for a walk and was about to come back, when I bumped into guess who?" she filled him in.
"Christian?" Angel asked.
"Bingo." Serena lowered her voice. "I'm having coffee with him right now. I'm going to try to get something out of him, but I'm warning you, I may have to get it out the hard way."
Angel was silent for a moment. "Do whatever you have to, just nothing too drastic." He still cared! Even though he was mad, he still cared.
"I won't." Serena promised quickly. "Angel?"
"Yeah?" he answered.
"I'm sorry." She said, her voice warm.
"We'll talk later. Keep in touch over the phone." He told her. Her heartbeat quickened.
"I will. Stay by the phone. I don't want to go through Cordy again." She glanced at her table. Christian was waiting patiently. "I have to go."
"Okay." What should come next?
Serena decided to go for the plunge. "I love you, Angel. And you don't have to say anything back because I know you do." She said rapidly.
"Like I said before, you know I do. I just am not allowed to say the words." Angel's voice was sad.
"Bye." She hung up the phone and plastered a smile on her face.
She sauntered back over to the table. "Sorry I was so long." She apologized.
Christian grinned. "It's fine."
"So what do you do for a living?" Serena asked with forced interest.
"I am a researcher. I research history, basically." His smile faded to a weak, forced smile.
"History? What kind of history?" she asked.
"Oh, its very complex. You wouldn't understand." His smiled disappeared all together.
"Can I at least see where you work?" she asked, trying to remain cool.
He thought for a second. "I guess it wouldn't hurt." They finished their coffee and began walking. By then, it was easily 9 p.m. She followed Christian to the graveyard.
"What are we doing in a graveyard?" she asked.
"You'll see. Just follow me and stay close." Christian led the way. Before long, they came upon a crypt. "This is where I work."
Possibilities started clicking into Serena's mind. "So, you study the remains of dead people?" she asked, pretending to be disgusted.
"Something like that. I am a medical examiner. This person in this crypt was supposedly murdered. I am trying to tie the suspected murderer to the person who was killed."
"Can we go inside?" She started moving toward the crypt, in an effort to go inside.
"NO!" Christian grabbed her arm, loosing his cool. "No. That is a medical sight that can't be disturbed. You might ruin the evidence." He said, much calmer the second time.
"Oh." Serena had a funny feeling that he was hiding something. She checked her watch. "Oh, wow. I have to be going. I promised my.my brother that I would be home to help him with his homework." She sputtered through her excuse.
"Well, let me walk you to your home." Christian offered.
"No, um, I'll be fine. I want to see you again though." She mentally gagged at this. She no longer found him intriguing, but dangerous.
"Here, have my phone number and call me whenever you're free." Christian smiled as he scribbled his phone number on a sheet of scrap paper. He walked her out of the graveyard.
"Well, goodbye!" Serena walked away.