Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Angel Sanctuary, Trigun, Rurouni Kenshin, One Piece, Kingdom Hearts, Shaman King, Yu Yu Hakusho, Dragon Knights, Medabots or any other of the battling characters in this fan fiction. Kyo, Owari, and Yomotsu, however, are my creation.
"Ladies and gentlemen, children hopefully over thirteen! It's time for… ANIME MELEE! Let's see anime characters from different worlds battle it out!" Kyo, announcer of this year's Anime Melee, announced.
"Yo' all you anime fans! No rules! The fights'll be as honorable or dishonorable as the characters make 'em! The only exception is you can't get help from another human being!" Yomotsu, announcer #2, yelled.
"Let's see our competitors!" Kyo yelled.
"What's up Shadow Yomotsu?" Yami Yugi greeted.
"Do you plan to be honorable in battle?" Yomotsu asked.
"I'll mind crush everyone until some one's mind is too hard to break," Yami Yugi replied.
"Or has no mind at all," Kyo muttered.
"Hey! I'm not that stupid!" Yomotsu yelled.
"Yo' Kaiba! What do you plan to do?" Kyo asked.
"None or your business!" Kaiba shoves Kyo and Yomotsu away.
"Kira! Say something to your adoring fans!" Yomotsu floats over to Kira.
"I'm going to kick everyone's butt!" Kira yelled.
"Hello Saito!" Kyo greeted.
"Where'd my cigarettes go?" Saito is digging around his belongings.
"I took 'em, more fun to fight you if you hate me," Kira laughed, "I like smoking anyway."
"Let's not start battling now," Kyo pushes the two apart.
"Sora!" Yomotsu yelled.
"Competition, find keyhole, save Kairi," Sora muttered to himself. Yomotsu edges away.
"Vash!" Kyo calls.
"Doughnuts! Can't fight on an empty stomach!" Vash swallows one doughnut after another.
"Kurai!" Yomotsu greets.
"Stand still so I can use you as a target!" Kurai orders. Yomotsu runs away.
"Hello Kaoru! Where's Yahiko?" Kyo edges close to Kaoru.
"Are you staring down my kimono?" Kaoru demands.
"…yes…" Kyo confesses.
"You PERVERT!" Kaoru tosses Kyo across the room.
"Kenshin! How do you live your daily life?" Kyo demands after landing next to him.
"Green tea calms the soul./ Laundry keeps the cleanliness./ Buying tofu fun," Kenshin said, "What were you saying?"
"Who writes haiku before battling?" Kyo demands.
"I dunno, I have no laundry to do, no tofu to buy, no green tea to drink, no Yahiko to teach, and I'm bored," Kenshin replies.
"Yo' Yoh!" Yomotsu greets.
"That's not funny! Don't you dare call me a Yo-yo!" Yoh yells at Yomotsu.
"Mommmeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Yomotsu goes flying out the window.
"Thatz!" Kyo greets.
"Is that diamond pentagram you're wearing genuine?" Thatz asks.
"Uh, yeah, why?" Kyo replies. Thatz runs off with it.
"Duke Devlin!" Yomotsu crawls in totally beat.
"What? I have a big bag of dice as my weapon," Duke says.
"What kind of crummy weapon is that??" Yomotsu demands.
"You talk to Rosiel and Pegasus!" Kyo yells.
"You talk to them! You owe me!" Yomotsu argues. The two decide to avoid Rosiel and Pegasus.
"Wolfwood," Kyo greets.
"Do you need a portable confessional?" Wolfwood puts it on Kyo's head.
"I womanized 999 women out of 1000! My son got turned into a pathetic shadow! He can barely write his name now and he was a genius when he was human! I'm the anti-Christ and I work for the devil! My life is horrible!" Kyo wails.
"You're going to Hell unless you mend your sinful ways!" Wolfwood shouts. Kyo stares blankly.
"Uh, Heero, can you stop brandishing that gun at me? Shadows can't be shot," Yomotsu says nervously.
"Uh-huh. The rule is no help from a human being right? Any weapon?" Heero asks with a sinister grin.
"Uh, yeah," Yomotsu edges away.
"Have you seen Alexiel??" Rosiel demands. His face is right next to Yomotsu's and he's too close for comfort!
"No! Setsuna didn't come! Get away!" Yomotsu wails and runs at Kyo.
"You're mourning?" Pegasus asks.
"What do you mean?" Rosiel asks.
"Oh my poor Cecilia!" Pegasus wails.
"Alexiel doesn't care about me!" Rosiel wails. The two start wailing and sobbing and disturbing the little peace that there is.
"They're my cigarettes damn you!" Saito yells.
"I forgot mine!" Kira yells.
"You can't smoke while you're in a portable confessional!" Wolfwood shouts. The three fight over one pack of cigarettes.
"Don't fight yet!" Kyo tries to stop them.
"Yeah, I'm sure we can all get this taken care of peacefully!" Kenshin tries to referee.
"This is an illegal match! As, I, Mr. Referee, have not called for it to start!" Mr. Referee tries to break them apart.
One hour later, Kira is puffing happily on the pack of cigarettes. Kenshin is cleaning the bloodstain on the floor to keep himself busy. Kyo has an ice pack on his head. Mr. Referee has gone flying out the window, yet will magically return to referee the matches. Saito has a bullet wound. It got treated by Owari the medic. Wolfwood has no more portable confessionals.