Paradox of Love
by Sky Rose

"Like a devilish angel... or maybe an angelic devil..." - Faye Valentine, "Cowboy Bebop," Session #26, "The Real Folk Blues, Part 2"

~Yuugi's POV~

I lay back on my pillow, lazily tracing my fingers on the intersecting pieces of the millennium puzzle. I had to wonder....'Why me?' Actually, I always wonder that. Never have received a straight answer, though. Worse....I had fallen in love with a spirit. One who looks remarkably like...myself....huh...talk about narcissism. There isn't much I can keep from him though. For the next couple of hours I told myself that I would come to terms with this while he wasn't being very active.

I sighed. It was summer, and all my friends were away on vacation with their family. Me, I got stuck 'volunteering' to help Grandpa run the shop. Okay, not so much volunteering as being told that I had to. Hehe. It's all right though, I at least got paid, and it was one of the more fun jobs I could think of. I could be working at McDonalds...Ew. I had just finished working for the day and was bored. Yami...that's the spirit of my puzzle, by the way, had helped out. During slow hours we had played quick matches of Duel Monsters. I have to admit, he's nice having around. I blushed at the thought of him. I don't know why I felt this way. I...don't even know if I should tell him. What would he think? Would he be grossed out by the thought? I don't know how they treated people like this in ancient times.

Well...I guess...since he was the pharaoh, probably however he told the people to...but... I sighed. He remembered so little of his past life, and I always feel bad about asking, mostly because he never did remember. I sometimes wonder what it would have been to live back then. But...after I think about it, I think that I am proof of reincarnation. I'm...just short. I always have to look up at people...but I look up to Yami as a...hmm...I'm not sure. He's more than a brother. I don't know right now. He's...he's my angelic devil. He's demonstrated that he can be cruel. I was so freaked out when he about killed Kaiba. I'm over that now, thank goodness. Yami has been much better about treating people with respect now. I smiled at that thought.

My smile quickly turned to a frown. I want to tell him...but...for now, I will cry myself to sleep, holding in the secret love I have for him.



~Yami's POV~

He thinks I don't know. He thinks I can't hear those ultra-private thoughts he has, but I can. We are two, and yet, we are one. He hasn't quite realized this. I only feel awful now. I feel the same way about the boy, but he needs to learn to open up to me more yet. Worse, I had a memory return.

I was 12, a high priest and his daughter came before my father and I. The daughter and I were betrothed. Never in my life had I been so repulsed. Not at the girl, but at the idea in general. We would be expected to have children to carry on the line. And I just couldn't feel anything at all about this girl. She was pretty by most standards then, and today. She had long brown hair, blue eyes with depth that drew you in...and I didn't want a thing to do with her.

I sighed. That was then, this is now. 5,000 years later. I finally love someone, and they love me, and... they can't admit it.

I was very impressed with the boy since I first met him. He had great dueling skill, a big heart, and a pure innocence about him. Oh, what I could do to shatter that innocence. And I about did...And he made me pay for it. He shut me off. He wouldn't listen to my advice at the time he most needed it. I finally convinced him to listen to me. And we've been a great team since then. I wish he'd realize we'd be a great team at something besides Duel Monsters. I shook my head, sadly realizing that we will both be tormented in silence forever.

Even though he seems innocent, I know he's not in many ways. He is a teenage boy after all. As we share a body, it's kind of hard to not know what he does to it. And some of those things were things I wish I would be doing to him... I shuddered with pleasure just thinking about that. Heh....It would be nice to give or receive that kind of pleasure to him. I often wonder if he'd be willing. I know he would, but...He's my devilish angel. I'd almost be afraid of what he'd do to me, but I know I could do much worse to him. I shook my head to clear myself of these perverted thoughts.

He needs to come to terms with this himself. When Yuugi is ready to profess his love, I will be there to confirm those feelings. For now, I wait for that day, silently, patiently...Forever, if necessary.