Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, I'm just borrowing them from Cameron etc. Oh but Cessa's mine so ask if you want to borrow the helpful drama device that she is.

Authors Note: Okay I am so sorry about the delay in writing this chapter but my dissertation deadline was coming up. I have now finished that and handed it in so here is the next chapter. I will try to keep the chapters coming as regularly as possible but I now have exams looming so please be patient.

DARK TERROR

Chapter 17 - Doubts

Cessa Jameson lay on the mattress of her generous soft bed and pulled the silk sheets higher up around her body. She stared at the man sleeping next to her. He was by far the most beautiful man she had ever seen, the word handsome didn't do him justice, his features to pretty and smooth to be described as such, but he was gorgeous.

Cessa smiled in satisfaction at having found such a specimen of man. In her line of work it was rare that she had the opportunity to have sex with any one that might be considered attractive and yet here she was with one that was not only stunningly good-looking but also amazing in bed. It had been years since Cessa had felt anything during sex, her body was numb from her years of work as a high class call girl and the repeated abuse of too much drink and drugs. But this man, this mysterious man had seemed to take particular delight in arousing her, rather than simply taking his pleasure from her body like she was a robot.

Alec. Cessa mulled the name over in her mind. He had lied to her about his name when they had first met, introducing himself as Keith. It hadn't been until he had been fucking her hard and fast in her bed and she was gasping that name that he had growled at her to call him Alec. It had visibly struck him when she'd called him Keith and he had almost recoiled. Cessa couldn't help but wonder who this man really was and why it hadn't been her name he had called when he climaxed. Max. Strange name, a girl? A guy? He could be bisexual. Cessa acknowledged still wondering who this Max person could be to him.

Flashback;

Alec stuffed the crumpled notes into his leather jackets pocket. His eyes were bloodshot from the lack of sleep and the endless searching for Max. It had been 8 days since she had left him. 8 days since she had broken his heart and left him unconscious on the floor of that warehouse. Alec had woken with a worse headache than he could remember and still groggy from the drugs he had instinctively cried out for Max. She wasn't there. Then he had become aware of the soft material that pillowed his aching head. It was Max's sweater, the blue one, her favourite. She like the colour, said it reminded her of how the sky should always look, bright and open not overcast and grey. It had all come crashing back to him then. What Max had said, Lydecker injecting him with something. He was alone.

As he walked down the streets, Alec saw a bar that was open, it looked more exclusive and high profile than the places he usually frequented but right now Alec didn't care as long as they sold alcohol. His last lead had turned up nothing on Max. He had nothing else to go and what hurt him the most was that Max probably didn't care. She had left him. Willingly. She had chosen to trust that son of a bitch Lydecker over him and his blind devotion. And that hurt. What was killing him now was that despite all this he was still searching for her, still desperate for any tidbit of information that might give him a lead, a clue, anything that might help him to find her again.

"I'm pathetic." Alec muttered to himself. The bar's lights beckoned and Alec gave in to the temptation and crossed the road to enter the brightly lit establishment. Inside there was a warmth that was missing from the chilly night air outside and Alec breathed in filling his lungs with the feeling. No physical comfort had yet been able to diminish the hole in his chest though. I need a drink. Alec thought as he walked across the nicely decorated room. It was a good combination of style and comfort, this bar. Alec couldn't help but wish that he was back in Crash in Seattle. Loud rock music, industrial post pulse design and plenty of hard liquor. That was what Alec was looking for tonight.

Sighing to himself Alec sat down at the bar and ordered a whiskey. He downed the first one quickly before ordering a second, he was about to down that when a familiar figure caught his attention out of the corner of his eye. Alec felt his hand shake as he recognised that long dark hair cascading down the woman's back and he almost dropped the tumbler on the bar as he tripped to his feet.

Alec could see her moving further into the crowd of people and panic gripped him. He couldn't lose her now! "Move!" Alec cursed at a drunk fat man that was blocking his path. The man laughed as he swayed and Alec gave him an impatient shove as he rushed to catch up with the woman who was now heading towards the exit.

"Wait!" Alec called as he reached her and grabbed the elbow of the retreating woman. Alec's hand closed around her slender upper arm and he spun her around - and found himself face to face with a total stranger. The shock and confusion on the woman's face softened as she took in the disbelief and sudden grief on the man's face who gripped her flesh so strongly.

"Can I help you?" Cessa normally wouldn't have bothered being so polite to a man who had just manhandled her in public but she had never met such an attractive man before, let alone one with such desperation in his eyes at the sight of her. The stranger stared at her for a moment before releasing her arm in an abrupt gesture.

"No." He mumbled. "No, I'm sorry." A clear look flashed across his face and Cessa found herself identifying it as something she had never seen in regards to herself before. Disappointment. This man found something in her disappointing. Cessa tossed her long dark hair over shoulder as she processed this novel experience. A man had looked her up and down and somehow found her wanting.

Cessa watched the stranger retreat back to his seat at the bar and she smoothed a hand down her dress in annoyance. She checked her watch. Well its early, may as well have some fun. Cessa thought. Her appointment with a client had been cancelled due to some domestic problems. Cessa almost laughed at the thought. Some politicians, they were supposed to be able to run this broken country and they couldn't even run their broken marriages.

Sliding into a seat next to the mysterious stranger Cessa shot him her most charming smile. "So, do you want to buy me a drink?" The stranger turned and looked at her briefly in surprise that she had followed him over

Alec sighed heavily, his expression shuttered against his emotions. It had been a blow to chase after that girl only to find it wasn't Max. I should of known it wouldn't be. I mean what would she be doing here? Alec asked himself, angry that he had so easily fallen into hope again. The sound of a woman's voice reached his ears and Alec turned to see the woman he had chased after, sitting there asking him for a drink.

There was a long pause and for a moment Cessa was actually afraid that this strange man was going to turn her down flat. Rejection wasn't something she was used to and for some reason she was afraid that if he did reject her it would actually hurt.

He looked her up and down again and a hard sardonic smile came on his face. "Sure, whatever." Alec motioned the bartender and Cessa gave her order, relieved. Alec took a swig of his own drink, ignoring the girl for a moment as he reflected on the differences between her and Max. Aside from the similar body types, heights and colouring the two girls didn't look even remotely similar. Maybe to someone else they would do a double take and proclaim that the women could have been sisters or at least cousins but all Alec had to do was look into this woman's brown eyes and know that she was nothing like Max. Nothing radiated from inside to her outside beauty the way it did in Max.

The bartender got Cessa's drink and she was so nervous she drank it rapidly, hoping it would calm her down a bit. She was starting to regret having come over here now, and this man was quite unnerving. Still, a challenge is a challenge. She mused.

"My names Cessa, Cessa Jameson." Cessa smiled winningly and extended her hand to the man who was now effectively ignoring her. Alec put his glass down and glanced at her hand before reluctantly extending his own.

"Keith." Alec dropped her hand as soon as he could, hating the way his mind instantly recognised how similar her hand felt to Max's small ones. Get over it. Alec told himself. Do something, anything just forget about Max for one goddamn night! Anger and frustration clouded his heart and Alec turned and looked Cessa over speculatively. His voice was still cold as he spoke but he doubted this woman would care. "You want another drink?"

Present;

Cessa studied Alec's face again. He was so still, slept so… Cessa's mind struggled for the right word. Economically. She frowned displeased with her choice but failing to come up with a better alternative. He fascinated her. His looks, his attitude, his unusual tattoo. Cessa was quite sure she had never met a man like him before. She was almost jealous of whoever this Max person was. Ridiculous to be jealous of a person she had never met because of a man she had only known a few short hours. And yet…the way he had cried out the name Max, caused a yearning in her well abused heart to wish for it to be her name he had uttered in that voice, so full of need and love and desperation.

Remembering how he had sounded, stirred Cessa and she reached out a hand to trace Alec's face. A millimetre away from his skin and his hand shot out and grabbed her wrist roughly. Cessa gasped in shock and tried to pull away from his tight grip. Alec's eyes were open and were staring at her forbiddingly, the hazel warmth cold and emotionless.

For the first time Cessa was actually afraid of this stranger she had brought home with her, to her bed. She could feel her skin bruise under his hard touch and she licked her lips nervously. "It hurts, please…" She whimpered despite herself but his expression didn't change. It was like he couldn't even see her, like he was staring at ghost.

Cessa looked around the room, looked any where but at him. Alec's grip tightened fractionally around her wrist and then his other hand whipped up and tilted her face to his. He held her chin firmly in his fingers and Cessa froze, her eyes wide.

For a minute all was still and then Alec released her so suddenly that she let her arm fall and her head drop before she realised she was free. Alec said nothing as he turned from her stood from her bed, quite unabashed in his nudity.

For some reason Cessa averted her eyes and pulled her sheets closer to her body. She swallowed hard. The sound of denim on skin and the zips being done up was horribly loud in the silent room and Cessa winced at the volume. She looked at him and found Alec or Keith or whatever his name was, staring down at her with the oddest expression on his face.

"I'm sorry." His voice was edged with flint but the expression on his face was so lost and confused that Cessa felt her fear fade and reached out a hand to try and touch his arm. He stepped back from her and looked about for his shirt.

As Alec dressed, he felt reality coming back to him and he felt sick to his stomach for what he had done. Fucked a girl because she looked like Max. This was how low he had sunk. Fucked her then scared her. Alec shook his head. When he looked at her last night all he had seen were the differences between her and Max and that had made it easy to use her, to fuck her instead of love her. But now he saw the similarities and he realised what he had done. Not to this girl. Not really her but to Max, to what Max meant to him, to his love for her. It didn't matter that she didn't love him. He loved her and he had fucked another woman to try and forget her.

Cessa looked at him as he headed towards the door with out another word. She knew she should just let him go, not say anything but she couldn't help herself. "Who's Max?"

Alec froze at that gently asked question. Oh shit what did I say last night. Alec searched his memory before realising that he had called out Max's name when he had come. He hesitated a moment, not turning to face her, about to walk out of the door without answering but his voice spoke without his minds asquience.

"She left me." It was soft and hurt and so full of grief.

There was silence from the Cessa before she spoke, her voice obviously confused.

"Why?"

Alec's breath left his lungs at the so innocent question and he remembered Max telling him she didn't love him, throwing Logan into his face, trusting Lydecker. Alec shook his head. It was wrong, it was all wrong. All of his feelings and all of his fears had twisted everything until all he saw was his own pain. Max wasn't stupid and no matter what else Max had done to him, she had never lied. Never.

Never…

Flashback;

"I do love you Alec…But I cant lose you the way I lost Logan…

"I don't love you Alec, I could never love you the way I loved Logan."

"I'm afraid…"

"Neither of you will ever be safe." Oh God - Lydecker.

"I don't love you Alec!"

"I love you."

"I'm sorry."

"I love you."

"I'm afraid."

"You cant run forever!"

"I do love you…"

Present;

Alec sagged against the door frame, he felt like all of his strength had been drained from his body. Oh God it was so clear now. How could I have not seen it? Max's words ran through his mind, he saw her speaking them, he heard Lydecker scaring them with fears about the future, he saw the exhaustion and terror in Max's eyes when she looked at him. Not afraid of him, but for him.

Alec numbly slid to the floor, oblivious to the startled cry of Cessa behind him. I doubted her. I let my own insecurities blind me and I let her go, I let Lydecker drug me and take her. Oh God what have I done! Max where are you?

TBC.