Disclaimer: I wish they were mine but they're not.

Authors Note: I am a terrible terrible person. Bad Jinx! I am so sorry to all of you who have followed this story for not updating since forever. I have no excuse and so hang my head in shame.

DARK TERROR

Chapter 20 - Never Enough

2 weeks later;

Alec looked out at the ocean that was spread before him. The salty wind whipped his tears against his face and stung his eyes. The roaring of the sea filled his ears and drowned out the beating of his heart. Alec closed his eyes trusting his enhanced balance to keep him on the edge of the cliff instead of falling to his death. There had been too much death already. Always too much death.

He had done it for Max. Knowing there was no way he would be able to do what needed to be done without shutting down a part of himself. Knowing he would need to kill without hesitation or conscience. If he wasn't able to get Max out he knew what he should do…But could he do it? Could he kill the woman he loved?

As Alec he knew he might not be able to, as her friend, her lover. 494 could though. He could feel nothing, Manticore had taught the soldier that. They had ways of making you not care and Alec had needed that…

Flashback:

"On your knees! Now!" Alec recognised the yelled order coming from his lips. He recognised the voice of 494, the soldier that he had sworn he would never again be. Now though as he looked at the cowering men kneeling at his feet he could no longer remember the reason for that vow. "Where is Ames White?" Alec asked. The question was softly spoken but filled with deadly intent.

"Please- " Sobbed one of the guards. "Please don't hurt me-" Alec's features didn't even flinch in the face of the mans begging.

A dim part of emotion remembered, buried deep in his repressed consciousness - Max had begged. She had begged him not to let her be captured alive and he had failed her. Now a man who was allied to those that had taken her begged for his life.

Alec's finger jumped on the trigger of the gun held tightly in his hand and a single shot blew the guards brain out. Lydecker looked up at the sound from where he was working on over riding the security cameras within the facility. His mouth opened as though to speak but closed it without the words escaping.

Alec looked at the dead man lying on the floor without emotion. He reached one hand down and pulled the second guard to his feet. This one, although shaking in fear stayed silent, having seen the result of the others pleas.

"Where is Ames White?" The question was grimly repeated.

"I don't- don't know." The guard stuttered. Alec simply pressed the gun under his jaw and paused looking into the other mans eyes. "I don't I swear! He's in the facility somewhere but I don't know what part!" The guard cried out desperately.

Alec saw the truth in his eyes and nodded. "Then your no use to me." His finger about to depress the trigger when a flash of movement collided with the guards skull sending him unconscious to the floor. Alec looked with anger at Lydecker who had pistol whipped the guard.

"What the hell are you doing?" He demanded. Lydecker gave him a hard look. He knew what his kids were capable, he had made them to be killers.

"I'm saving your soul." Lydecker said gruffly as he walked past Alec towards the door with the key card he had taken from the dead guard. Alec followed him, his eyes flinty with a cold anger. "We have approx. 7 minutes before the next shift arrives and we're made." Lydecker informed the stone soldier. "We still have to get into the inner sanctum of the facility where Max is being held."

"I want White dead." Alec bit out at Lydecker. "We have to find where he is."

"We have to get Max out first Alec!" Lydecker yelled at him.

"Don't call me that!" Alec shoved Lydecker against the wall. "Do you think I don't know Max is the priority? But White is going to die tonight! I'm not leaving till all of the mission is complete!"

Lydecker shook his head as he realised what Alec had done to himself. Shutting down his weaker emotions, his individuality in order to be focused and capable of anything that was necessary.

The mind is infinitely pliable…

This wasn't Alec, this was 494 a cold blooded soldier intent on completing his mission no matter what. A sick part of Lydecker was proud of what Alec had done. He was in many ways the pinnacle of Manticores achievements. A shining star of all they had been aiming for.

Present:

Alec opened his eyes remembering how he had been that dark night. How merciless when faced with those who would cause harm to come to Max. He swallowed hard as the guilt and shame came now. Shame for the knowledge that he would do it all again, exactly the same. Shame for the satisfaction he felt for killing those who had hurt Max, directly or indirectly.

We do what we have to do. Necessary evil. Words Max had spoken once to him in comfort. No one should have to live the life's they had led, make the choices they were forced to…endure the things they had suffered...

Flashback:

She was there in front of him. Only a reinforced window separated them. Max lay still and pale on a gurney in the sealed room. Time slowed as Alec took in his first glimpse of Max in what seemed like forever. It was horrifically reminiscent of the first time Alec had saved her. He felt himself spinning back in time to the nightmare of the past. How much could one person take and survive. How much could Max?

Lydecker ran into the observation room where he had watched Max be medically tortured under White's orders. His breath was coming in shirt gasps as he slammed the door shut behind him.

"The charges are set. I have them on timer in case we don't make it. 32 minutes to get out of here before the whole place blows." He told Alec. Lydecker pushed past Alec to see Max lying there. "Here." Alec felt his hand being opened and something being pushed into his palm. His attention had been fully absorbed with staring at Max but Lydecker's actions startled him back into the present.

His control wavering, Alec drilled himself. The mission. Remember the mission. Retrieval of Max. Termination of White. The self conditioned words echoed through Alec's brain as his hand grasped the card key.

Snapping out of his fugue Alec leapt towards the door and swiped the lock with the card. It beeped in denial and Alec spun around pointing his gun at Lydecker with an accusing glare.

Surprised Lydecker held his hands up in defence. "I got it off one of the doctors who was working on Max. It should work." Not taking his eyes off Lydecker Alec reached out his arm and with unnerving blind accuracy swiped the card through again. This time the low buzz and the clanking of the unlocking mechanism sounded. Alec nodded his head in acknowledgement at Lydecker before turning and pushing open the door.

Alec hesitated for only a split second as he approached Max. His fingers reached down to her throat and pressed against her pulse point. A pause of nothing before a soft thump against the callused pad of his fingers. Alec didn't move, suddenly fearful he had imagined it. He held himself still another moment, waiting for her heart to beat again and assure him that she lived.

He felt it and an overwhelming relief flooded through Alec through all his attempt to repress his feelings. Max was alive. She was alive and he still had a chance to save her. "Maxie." Her name was a heartbreaking whisper from his lips as his gaze found her still face. As always Max crashed though all Alec's carefully constructed walls and defences. He couldn't touch Max and not feel, he didn't know how. Alec felt 494 slip away leaving only a man, just a man holding his lost lover in his arms. "Max…" He breathed in reverence, his hand caressed her cheek in a familiar brush of skin on skin.

At the contact large brown eyes flew open, unfocused and betraying no awareness. Alec inhaled sharply. After all this… He couldn't lose her to her own mind again. "Max, its me." Alec whispered, praying his voice could reach her. "Please Max, I know you can hear me. Please just blink for me." He paused, searching her face for any sign Max was there, that she had survived her torture, deep down inside. "Something- anything- Max please!"

There was nothing.

"Come back to me-" Alec's voice cracked, as every fear he'd had came crashing over him in a tidal wave. She's gone, like before. This time Alec felt a terrible coldness in his soul that told him all the time in the world wouldn't bring her back again. He was too late. Max was gone.

"No. No I don't believe it. Max wake up please!" Alec slid his hands behind her thin back and pulled Max into his arms. Alec rocked her gently as he grieved for all she had gone through once again. As he denied he would never see her smile, laugh or make love to her again. "It wasn't enough Max, I need you. It wasn't enough time." Alec cried into Max's dark hair.

"Alec." Lydecker spoke into the silence of the room as he watched with certain disappointment as the soldier vanished and the man came forth. There was no response from the man cradling Max. "Alec! There's no time for this. We have to get out of here!"

Alec's head jerked up and Lydecker was gratified to see a small return to order of the tumultuous emotions swimming in the mans eyes. He stood, lifting Max's slight form effortlessly and turned to Lydecker.

Present:

Alec felt a chill settle over his body as he remembered turning to face Lydecker. Turning and seeing White standing silently behind the unaware older man. It had happened faster than Alec could blink. A flash of hands and a single snap of the head and Lydecker had fallen boneless to the ground, a brief expression of surprise barely reaching his dead features.

The man had been their nemesis as children, inspiring fear and awe for the power of their lives and deaths he wielded. At that moment when Alec had watched Lydecker fall to the floor in that nameless building, all he had felt was a sickness. Sickness as he came face to face with an enemy that transcended hate…

TBC.