Stars
A songfic based on Dave Matthews Band's "Where are you going"
Note: Ever since reading the wonderful "Slayers in Dreamland" by Scorpiodragon (and its wonderful sequel "Below the Surface") I have not been able to listen to a single Dave Matthews song and not think Zelgadis. LOL. That's cool though, because they are one of my favorite bands and he is one of my favorite characters. Anyway, Please if you love A/Z fics, look those two up. They're on the Fanfic.net....Dreamland is long but SO worth the read, and that goes for the sequel as well. (And Ladies, you will love the scene with Zell playing "Crush". Trust me.) And now on to the song fic!
************************************************************************* Amelia's eyes opened softly to catch the dim ember-light of the fire. Something was amiss....she knew it as soon as she came around. the dark sky above was bejeweled with stars, all shimmering in that velvet black like promises.
She looked around, not sitting up at first. It took a moment for her to realize what was wrong...Zelgadis's sleeping space was empty, his bedroll still there but abandoned. She rolled over in time to see a shadow vanish into the trees. She could just make out the beige cloak vanishing. She paused...he wasn't trying to leave them..his things were all still there....maybe she should just leave him be. But what if he had sensed trouble and was trying to take care of it. She slipped up, and was after him silently. She had grown taller over the years of their friendship, and she found her klutzy nature was giving way to a more graceful way of movement. She found in fact that she could move very quietly now.
/Where are you going,
with your long face pulling down? /
She could see him a little more clearly now, in front of her. He paused, glanced back, and she pressed against the trunk of a tree. The moonlight fell across his face and she was struck by the quiet sadness there. She hated that sadness, she always wanted to touch it and melt it away. His smiles...fleeting and ghostlike, but real and warm....were the richest rewards she could ever hope for. And yet, even now, he still pulled away from her.
/Don't hide away,
like an ocean
But you can't see, but you can smell
And the sound waves crash down/
She followed silently, watching and wondering why he was out walking so late at night. Where was he going? And why?
He walked slowly, head down, until they came to the edge of the trees. The land sloped downward and he sat on the edge, looking up at the night sky. His face was open and full of sorrow. She had never seen such a naked expression on his face before. Sinking to kneel behind a huge oak, peeking around it at his unmoving form, She felt like the worst of spies, and yet part of her wouldn't allow herself to go back.... not wanting him to be alone in his sadness, even if he didn't know that she was there
/ I am no superman
I have no answers for you
I am no hero, oh that's for sure/
She was a hero of justice. At least, she liked to think of herself as such. Yes her friends laughed at her speeches, she knew, although they didn't mean it unkindly. And she could smile at them too...but she meant them. With all her heart. She wanted to be the one to do "The right thing" In the world. She wanted to right the wrongs, to heal the hurts, to bring happiness where there was sorrow. She knew she had the power to do this.
But he made her helpless. All she did, all the tried always seemed to fail. Her light of hope, and love and justice was a tiny flame in the dark sorrows of his soul. And yet, what else could she do? She had to try. She had to try, because she loved him.
/But I do know one thing for sure
Is where you are, is where I belong
I do know, where you go, is where I want to be/
It was no schoolgirl crush. She knew that now. Knew it for sure, because..she had been ready to die for him. Really and truly die to protect him. That scared her a little, but it also made her realize the depth of that emotion for him.
She wanted to be with him every step of this long quest. She wanted to make him smile when that darkness grew too heavy for him, and make him hope when his cure proved to still be past his grasp yet again. She wanted him to look in her eyes and see the love she felt there...but more important, she wanted him to see himself in her eyes, and how beautiful his chimeric form was to her. She could imagine, she thought, what his human face would look like, and she found that beautiful as well. /See yourself in my eyes/ she thought /See yourself there, Zell. you're beautiful...and I want to be beside you always./
/Where are you going,
where do you go? Are you looking for answers,
to questions under the stars?/
He studied the stars carefully, as if they were a map to his cure, the thing he wanted so much. She had a selfish wish. She watched the stars herself, and wished that she might be the one to find his hearts desire. If she brought it to him, maybe then he would look at her as something other than a child.....than a companion. Maybe it would prove to him her love was no schoolgirl fantasy....maybe it would.....
"Amelia" His voice, that silky rich tenor. She gasped a little, and her face flushed crimson.
A pause "I know you're there." She couldn't read his voice "Might as well come out."
She swallowed and stepped into the moonlight. The stones in his skin, his hair, all glittered as he turned to look at her. He didn't smile, but she thought she sensed a softness to his eyes. Maybe he wasn't angry.
"You followed me" He said simply.
/If along the way you are growing weary,
you can rest with me until a brighter day
It's okay,/
"I...was worried Mr. Zelgadis." Amelia said "I woke up and I saw you leaving and I thought....." She paused "You might be in trouble."
"You were worried about me?" He asked and she looked at him surprised "Of course. You're my friend!"
/ where are you going,
where do you go?/
He seemed to be thinking this over, and then he turned back to the sky. Ignoring her. Shutting her out again. She looked away, stung.
/ I am no superman
I have no answers for you
I am no hero, oh that's for sure/
"I....." She paused. "I...um......" /I should go back. he doesn't want me here..../ She thought.
He didn't take his eyes from the heavens but said "Sit Amelia. They're shooting stars tonight. I decided to have a better look." He paused and then "I don't mind the company."
/But I do know one thing for sure Is
where you are,
is where I belong I do know,
where you go, is where I want to be/
She blinked sure she had heard him wrong, and then sank beside him and looked up at the sky. The stars were so beautiful, she found herself caught in them.
"Look" She pointed "Its Ursa the bear."
He nodded, noting the star pattern "You know astronomy?"
"A little. I studied it back home a bit. I mostly liked the stories behind the constellations." She smiled.
He nodded. Pointing he said "That group there" His finger traced them "Is Bandala. Do you know her story?"
She shook her head and he smiled faintly "You'll like it. She was a warrior, a traveling adventurer. She was known for helping the poor and they say that she met Helios, god of heroes, on a quest. He was pretending to be a mortal, and they fell in love. She fell defending a village from an army of monsters, and he loved her so he put her in the sky so she could watch over all who defend the weak and tell the gods of their great deeds. She rides her horse across the sky, see?"
Amelia looked at him startled "I didn't know you knew stories like that."
He flushed a little "Its just a story" He said, and some of his guard seemed to go back up.
She smiled softly "I like it. It's beautiful. True love even beyond death."
He chuckled "I thought you'd like it."
/Where are you going, where do you go?
Are you looking for answers, where do you go?/
Amelia watched the sky, silent for a long moment and then said "Mr. Zelgadis? Why do you always go off alone?"
HE was quiet for a long moment and she was about to apologize when he said "I'm used to it. Being around people makes me uncomfortable."
She looked at him "Why?"
He didn't take his eyes from the sky "I haven't had many friends, Amelia."
She paused "We're your friends, Mr. Zelgadis."
"I know" He spoke quietly "Believe me I know. I'm just.....not used to it."
/Where are you going? Where do you go? Let's go./
She nodded silently, and they sat quietly together for a few minutes. Then. a scratch of light streaked, and another, and another. Amelia gasped "oh!"
Zell glanced at her upturned face full of wonder. His eyes warmed a little more and he smiled softly.
"Make a wish Mr. Zelgadis" Amelia said, never taking her eyes from the heavens.
"All right" He said.
Amelia closed her eyes /I wish you would see me. Who I really am. Please see me...and give me a chance./
/But I do know one thing for sure Is
where you are,
is where I belong /
She opened her eyes and looked at him. He had his eyes closed, and she saw to her dismay his face was sad again.
She watched for a moment, and then reached out and lay her hand over his.
He opened his eyes and looked at her with a look she couldn't read.
Very quietly she said "I'll always be your friend, Mr. Zelgadis. I promise."
He looked at her a very long moment and then, taking a deep breath, his hand closed gently around hers "Thank you, Amelia" He whispered.
They sat there for a very long time, hand in hand, and the stars fell around them.
/I do know,
where you go, is where I want to be/
A songfic based on Dave Matthews Band's "Where are you going"
Note: Ever since reading the wonderful "Slayers in Dreamland" by Scorpiodragon (and its wonderful sequel "Below the Surface") I have not been able to listen to a single Dave Matthews song and not think Zelgadis. LOL. That's cool though, because they are one of my favorite bands and he is one of my favorite characters. Anyway, Please if you love A/Z fics, look those two up. They're on the Fanfic.net....Dreamland is long but SO worth the read, and that goes for the sequel as well. (And Ladies, you will love the scene with Zell playing "Crush". Trust me.) And now on to the song fic!
************************************************************************* Amelia's eyes opened softly to catch the dim ember-light of the fire. Something was amiss....she knew it as soon as she came around. the dark sky above was bejeweled with stars, all shimmering in that velvet black like promises.
She looked around, not sitting up at first. It took a moment for her to realize what was wrong...Zelgadis's sleeping space was empty, his bedroll still there but abandoned. She rolled over in time to see a shadow vanish into the trees. She could just make out the beige cloak vanishing. She paused...he wasn't trying to leave them..his things were all still there....maybe she should just leave him be. But what if he had sensed trouble and was trying to take care of it. She slipped up, and was after him silently. She had grown taller over the years of their friendship, and she found her klutzy nature was giving way to a more graceful way of movement. She found in fact that she could move very quietly now.
/Where are you going,
with your long face pulling down? /
She could see him a little more clearly now, in front of her. He paused, glanced back, and she pressed against the trunk of a tree. The moonlight fell across his face and she was struck by the quiet sadness there. She hated that sadness, she always wanted to touch it and melt it away. His smiles...fleeting and ghostlike, but real and warm....were the richest rewards she could ever hope for. And yet, even now, he still pulled away from her.
/Don't hide away,
like an ocean
But you can't see, but you can smell
And the sound waves crash down/
She followed silently, watching and wondering why he was out walking so late at night. Where was he going? And why?
He walked slowly, head down, until they came to the edge of the trees. The land sloped downward and he sat on the edge, looking up at the night sky. His face was open and full of sorrow. She had never seen such a naked expression on his face before. Sinking to kneel behind a huge oak, peeking around it at his unmoving form, She felt like the worst of spies, and yet part of her wouldn't allow herself to go back.... not wanting him to be alone in his sadness, even if he didn't know that she was there
/ I am no superman
I have no answers for you
I am no hero, oh that's for sure/
She was a hero of justice. At least, she liked to think of herself as such. Yes her friends laughed at her speeches, she knew, although they didn't mean it unkindly. And she could smile at them too...but she meant them. With all her heart. She wanted to be the one to do "The right thing" In the world. She wanted to right the wrongs, to heal the hurts, to bring happiness where there was sorrow. She knew she had the power to do this.
But he made her helpless. All she did, all the tried always seemed to fail. Her light of hope, and love and justice was a tiny flame in the dark sorrows of his soul. And yet, what else could she do? She had to try. She had to try, because she loved him.
/But I do know one thing for sure
Is where you are, is where I belong
I do know, where you go, is where I want to be/
It was no schoolgirl crush. She knew that now. Knew it for sure, because..she had been ready to die for him. Really and truly die to protect him. That scared her a little, but it also made her realize the depth of that emotion for him.
She wanted to be with him every step of this long quest. She wanted to make him smile when that darkness grew too heavy for him, and make him hope when his cure proved to still be past his grasp yet again. She wanted him to look in her eyes and see the love she felt there...but more important, she wanted him to see himself in her eyes, and how beautiful his chimeric form was to her. She could imagine, she thought, what his human face would look like, and she found that beautiful as well. /See yourself in my eyes/ she thought /See yourself there, Zell. you're beautiful...and I want to be beside you always./
/Where are you going,
where do you go? Are you looking for answers,
to questions under the stars?/
He studied the stars carefully, as if they were a map to his cure, the thing he wanted so much. She had a selfish wish. She watched the stars herself, and wished that she might be the one to find his hearts desire. If she brought it to him, maybe then he would look at her as something other than a child.....than a companion. Maybe it would prove to him her love was no schoolgirl fantasy....maybe it would.....
"Amelia" His voice, that silky rich tenor. She gasped a little, and her face flushed crimson.
A pause "I know you're there." She couldn't read his voice "Might as well come out."
She swallowed and stepped into the moonlight. The stones in his skin, his hair, all glittered as he turned to look at her. He didn't smile, but she thought she sensed a softness to his eyes. Maybe he wasn't angry.
"You followed me" He said simply.
/If along the way you are growing weary,
you can rest with me until a brighter day
It's okay,/
"I...was worried Mr. Zelgadis." Amelia said "I woke up and I saw you leaving and I thought....." She paused "You might be in trouble."
"You were worried about me?" He asked and she looked at him surprised "Of course. You're my friend!"
/ where are you going,
where do you go?/
He seemed to be thinking this over, and then he turned back to the sky. Ignoring her. Shutting her out again. She looked away, stung.
/ I am no superman
I have no answers for you
I am no hero, oh that's for sure/
"I....." She paused. "I...um......" /I should go back. he doesn't want me here..../ She thought.
He didn't take his eyes from the heavens but said "Sit Amelia. They're shooting stars tonight. I decided to have a better look." He paused and then "I don't mind the company."
/But I do know one thing for sure Is
where you are,
is where I belong I do know,
where you go, is where I want to be/
She blinked sure she had heard him wrong, and then sank beside him and looked up at the sky. The stars were so beautiful, she found herself caught in them.
"Look" She pointed "Its Ursa the bear."
He nodded, noting the star pattern "You know astronomy?"
"A little. I studied it back home a bit. I mostly liked the stories behind the constellations." She smiled.
He nodded. Pointing he said "That group there" His finger traced them "Is Bandala. Do you know her story?"
She shook her head and he smiled faintly "You'll like it. She was a warrior, a traveling adventurer. She was known for helping the poor and they say that she met Helios, god of heroes, on a quest. He was pretending to be a mortal, and they fell in love. She fell defending a village from an army of monsters, and he loved her so he put her in the sky so she could watch over all who defend the weak and tell the gods of their great deeds. She rides her horse across the sky, see?"
Amelia looked at him startled "I didn't know you knew stories like that."
He flushed a little "Its just a story" He said, and some of his guard seemed to go back up.
She smiled softly "I like it. It's beautiful. True love even beyond death."
He chuckled "I thought you'd like it."
/Where are you going, where do you go?
Are you looking for answers, where do you go?/
Amelia watched the sky, silent for a long moment and then said "Mr. Zelgadis? Why do you always go off alone?"
HE was quiet for a long moment and she was about to apologize when he said "I'm used to it. Being around people makes me uncomfortable."
She looked at him "Why?"
He didn't take his eyes from the sky "I haven't had many friends, Amelia."
She paused "We're your friends, Mr. Zelgadis."
"I know" He spoke quietly "Believe me I know. I'm just.....not used to it."
/Where are you going? Where do you go? Let's go./
She nodded silently, and they sat quietly together for a few minutes. Then. a scratch of light streaked, and another, and another. Amelia gasped "oh!"
Zell glanced at her upturned face full of wonder. His eyes warmed a little more and he smiled softly.
"Make a wish Mr. Zelgadis" Amelia said, never taking her eyes from the heavens.
"All right" He said.
Amelia closed her eyes /I wish you would see me. Who I really am. Please see me...and give me a chance./
/But I do know one thing for sure Is
where you are,
is where I belong /
She opened her eyes and looked at him. He had his eyes closed, and she saw to her dismay his face was sad again.
She watched for a moment, and then reached out and lay her hand over his.
He opened his eyes and looked at her with a look she couldn't read.
Very quietly she said "I'll always be your friend, Mr. Zelgadis. I promise."
He looked at her a very long moment and then, taking a deep breath, his hand closed gently around hers "Thank you, Amelia" He whispered.
They sat there for a very long time, hand in hand, and the stars fell around them.
/I do know,
where you go, is where I want to be/