Silence
Prologue
Silence. I just want to die. Maybe I should, given the father I've been, the friend I've been. the husband I've been. I'm too hard on myself, but it's hard not to be. There are so many things I should be guilty about.
Firstly, the friend I've been. When I was stranded in Winhill, did I look for Kiros and Ward after I'd recovered? No. Yet they still like me, or something close to liking. Kiros helps me run the country and Ward helps Kiros. I've distanced myself from them, lapsing again into silence. A silence I haven't been in for years, due to the depression it brings.
Secondly, the father I've been. I never met Squall until a while ago. I never even knew he existed. He looks so much like Raine. I need only look into his eyes to know it. But he's cold. If I had have been there, would Raine have survived? Would he have grown up happy? I should've looked for him. I shouldn't have become president.
Of course it all comes down to her. She was the one that made it all happen. She is the one that never leaves me alone. Raine. I cry every time the natural occurrence happens, because I love her. If she were still here, I wouldn't have to distance myself from my friends, I would know my son and I'd still have her by me at night. That's when I'm most alone, because she's not there, curled up next to me. All that's left is silence.
Silence.
Maybe I should kill myself. No friends, no family. maybe I'll see her. I hope so. She's my life now, which doesn't matter. I shouldn't have a life. But what should I have? Sometimes I know. I should have what these nights give me, these nights that seem eternal and cold. Maybe I should have.
Silence.
But forever? Forever is a long time. Everyone knows that. But is it? That's all I want now. That's all I need.
Blissful Silence.
Author's Note: This story might end up depressing. I'm a big Laguna Lover, so it pains me too, *sob*, but it might have to happen. Boohoooooooo!!!
Silence. I just want to die. Maybe I should, given the father I've been, the friend I've been. the husband I've been. I'm too hard on myself, but it's hard not to be. There are so many things I should be guilty about.
Firstly, the friend I've been. When I was stranded in Winhill, did I look for Kiros and Ward after I'd recovered? No. Yet they still like me, or something close to liking. Kiros helps me run the country and Ward helps Kiros. I've distanced myself from them, lapsing again into silence. A silence I haven't been in for years, due to the depression it brings.
Secondly, the father I've been. I never met Squall until a while ago. I never even knew he existed. He looks so much like Raine. I need only look into his eyes to know it. But he's cold. If I had have been there, would Raine have survived? Would he have grown up happy? I should've looked for him. I shouldn't have become president.
Of course it all comes down to her. She was the one that made it all happen. She is the one that never leaves me alone. Raine. I cry every time the natural occurrence happens, because I love her. If she were still here, I wouldn't have to distance myself from my friends, I would know my son and I'd still have her by me at night. That's when I'm most alone, because she's not there, curled up next to me. All that's left is silence.
Silence.
Maybe I should kill myself. No friends, no family. maybe I'll see her. I hope so. She's my life now, which doesn't matter. I shouldn't have a life. But what should I have? Sometimes I know. I should have what these nights give me, these nights that seem eternal and cold. Maybe I should have.
Silence.
But forever? Forever is a long time. Everyone knows that. But is it? That's all I want now. That's all I need.
Blissful Silence.
Author's Note: This story might end up depressing. I'm a big Laguna Lover, so it pains me too, *sob*, but it might have to happen. Boohoooooooo!!!